# Two behaviors I wouldn't dream of engaging in as a customer. Do you do this? Why? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [January 27, 2006, 8:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-behaviors-i-wouldnt-dream-of-engaging-in-as-a-customer-do-you-do-this-why/341911 "2006-01-27T20:54:15Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 18\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Hostile\_Dialect](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e495f1/32.png) [@Hostile\_Dialect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hostile_Dialect)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2006, 6:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-behaviors-i-wouldnt-dream-of-engaging-in-as-a-customer-do-you-do-this-why/341911/41 "2006-01-29T18:40:50Z")
> [@rinni](#): > > That’s what I do. Mainly because I don’t like when people balance the coins on the bills to give them to me. Do you ever get glares, death threats, fist-shaking, etc.? Do the cashiers you ask this of come back to your store and throw money on your counter? ---
**Author:** ![Hostile\_Dialect](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e495f1/32.png) [@Hostile\_Dialect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hostile_Dialect)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2006, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-behaviors-i-wouldnt-dream-of-engaging-in-as-a-customer-do-you-do-this-why/341911/42 "2006-01-29T18:42:30Z")
FWIW, I’ve tried making myself as deliberate as possible about the whole thing for three semesters, hoping that one day one of the _college students_ who I pay for food daily will figure out how to make me easier to deal with. It took most of the bookstore crew a couple of times to figure it out, but the Student Center cafeteria folks are probably still counting the change from my first transaction. ---
**Author:** ![Cartooniverse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cartooniverse/32/3084_2.png) [@Cartooniverse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cartooniverse)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2006, 4:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-behaviors-i-wouldnt-dream-of-engaging-in-as-a-customer-do-you-do-this-why/341911/43 "2006-01-30T04:11:26Z")
> [@Beware of Doug](#): > > Might not be the best possible juxtaposition, there…:dubious: > > What’s with the waiting? Is it you doing the waiting both times, or are “they” waiting too? > > Can you explain “that light”? Is it any different from dealing with Orthodox merchants? **green bean** didn’t mention all the waiting before picking up money. My apologies for the odd juxtaposition- it came out rather differently than it typed in !! I didn’t mean we’re killing time while the grass grows. I meant to say, that both of us are aware that we are trying to NOT let my hand touch their hand because that is what they very much prefer. So, I don’t do what I normally would do, which is reach for the person’s hand to put money in, or reach to get change back. I do make sure their hand is gone before reaching- and it’s a split-second, of course. As for being seen in a certain “light”, sure. Here’s the deal. You are either Hasidim, or you are Unclean. Pretty much cut and dried. As I am not a Hasidic Jew, I’m unclean in their eyes. We all are, unless we are Hasidic, and a member of their particular sect. ( At least, the sect I live near defines all non-members as unclean. I’ve been told face to face that this is how it is. ). That’s the light I am seen in- an Unclean person who they would rather not touch. As I did say, I respect it and abide by it and take care not to touch them. Doesn’t seem like too much to ask. ---
**Author:** ![rinni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/f6c823/32.png) [@rinni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rinni)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2006, 4:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-behaviors-i-wouldnt-dream-of-engaging-in-as-a-customer-do-you-do-this-why/341911/44 "2006-01-30T04:31:06Z")
> [@fetus](#): > > Do you ever get glares, death threats, fist-shaking, etc.? Do the cashiers you ask this of come back to your store and throw money on your counter? Oops, no, I didn’t mean I ask cashiers to do this. I meant, as a cashier, I do give the things back in three separate sessions. I was just patting myself on the back. Good rinni. 😛 Hehe. ---
**Author:** ![Boo\_Boo\_Foo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e274bd/32.png) [@Boo\_Boo\_Foo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boo_Boo_Foo)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2006, 4:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-behaviors-i-wouldnt-dream-of-engaging-in-as-a-customer-do-you-do-this-why/341911/45 "2006-01-30T04:41:46Z")
To the author of the OP? You know something? Regarding Point Two? You’re correct to be dismayed by something like that because it is simply so incredibly disrespectful for someone to NOT place something in your hand after you’ve held out your hand to collect that something. It might be money, or something else. So personally, I’d have absolutely no qualms whatsoever in saying the following words - right there in front of the customer, and hopefully in front of other customers too… namely… “Sir /Madam? I was holding out my hand just now for a reason. What you just did is something which I find thoroughly disrespectful. If you return to this store today, don’t expect to be served again.” As an employer who has about 9 staff doing call centre work, I consciously coach our staff to be assertive in standing up for their own self esteem. Far too often, members of the public feel it’s perfectly OK to treat service staff as “less than human” and I’ve found that such staff take such treatment dreadfully personally after a while. By being polite, yet assertive, in letting customers know that they’ve been inappropriately disrespectful, our staff are actually proud of themselves and their self esteem goes through the roof. I would applaud any employee of mine who said the above words to any customer who threw money on to a counter while their hand was held out. ---
**Author:** ![Boo\_Boo\_Foo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e274bd/32.png) [@Boo\_Boo\_Foo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boo_Boo_Foo)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2006, 4:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-behaviors-i-wouldnt-dream-of-engaging-in-as-a-customer-do-you-do-this-why/341911/46 "2006-01-30T04:45:11Z")
> [@don't ask](#): > > Sometimes I do the first but I would always say something. A while ago I glanced in the trolley of the couple behind me at the supermarket and realised that I had forgotten a case of _Diet Coke_. **I didn’t have to leave though, the woman made her husband go and get me one.** Cool! ---
**Author:** ![TokyoBayer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tokyobayer/32/13989_2.png) [@TokyoBayer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TokyoBayer)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2006, 4:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-behaviors-i-wouldnt-dream-of-engaging-in-as-a-customer-do-you-do-this-why/341911/47 "2006-01-30T04:58:14Z")
> [@VCO3](#): > > 1. **Throwing payment onto the counter rather than hading it to me**. Japanese traditionally did not hand money directly to each other (although it’s starting to change) and usually place – but not drop or throw – the money in a little tray on the counter. I get so used to placing the money on the counter that I catch myself doing that when I go back to the States. I’m not thinking about it, so the first time I notice something’s off when the cashier looks at me strangely. Fortunately, I’m better at remembering which side of the road to drive on when I go back. ---
**Author:** ![Hostile\_Dialect](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e495f1/32.png) [@Hostile\_Dialect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hostile_Dialect)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2006, 5:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-behaviors-i-wouldnt-dream-of-engaging-in-as-a-customer-do-you-do-this-why/341911/48 "2006-01-30T05:21:16Z")
> [@rinni](#): > > Oops, no, I didn’t mean I ask cashiers to do this. I meant, as a cashier, I do give the things back in three separate sessions. I was just patting myself on the back. Good rinni. Hehe. If I’m ever in Vancouver, I’ll have to find where you work and buy things from you. Unfortunately, I don’t think we’ve met, as I’ve never been to Vancouver and the only thing I’ve ever bought from there was weed, back in my wild-child days in Arizona. I don’t know what on earth you guys put in that stuff, by the way 🆒\* \*When you see the sunglasses, by the way, picture “I’m hiding my eyes even though I’m inside at Taco Bell” rather than “I’m a hep cat, daddy-O.” ---
**Author:** ![bob\_loblaw](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/f19dbf/32.png) [@bob\_loblaw](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bob_loblaw)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2006, 7:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-behaviors-i-wouldnt-dream-of-engaging-in-as-a-customer-do-you-do-this-why/341911/49 "2006-01-30T07:04:04Z")
1. ya. i don’t know. adhd maybe? or just plain old absent-mindedness? i’ve seen it on occassion, but in my experience it’s always been met with an, “oh well, we’ll deal with him/her when (s)he comes back.” kinda attitude. even my years working retail as a high school job, i never saw this as a great annoyance or problem. just one of those things that comes with the territory. 2. i deal regularly with people who come from, well, every sort of different touching / no-touching, exception / no-exception types of traditions, and etc. (i live in downtown toronto. i dare you to suggest a culture that is not present here.) anyway, i’ve learned the dominant exchange protocol for the situation of unsuredness: when making a purchase with paper, one tents, then holds forward, the bill(s) for tender; if it / they are not immediately accepted from your hand, you place the tented bills on the counter for easy pickup. for payment with plastic, 'tis similar - you flash logo of plastic towards cashier; if a hand is forthcoming, you pass plastic directly to cashier, else you slide plastic along counter towards cashier, letting go before (s)he makes contact with the card. for payment with coins (much more common in canada than usa, as we have $1 & $2 coins here) one identifiably spreads coins across paying hand (for example, a $7.00 purchace, where purchaser spreads 4 twonies across palm) and if an outstretched palm of the merchant is forthcoming, the purchaser gently drops coins into merchant’s hand. otherwise, coins are gently placed on counter-top; and if multiple coin denomination payment is required, coins are placed in easily recognizable groupings - i.e quarters together, loonies together, etc. it may (though i doubt it,) seem like a complicated set of rules at first. but when you get to know the places & people you are doing business with, even if each place differs from the next in exact protocol, it’s almost unthinking muscle memory to pay for \_\_\_\_ at xxxx store in q-manner, and \*\*\*\* at yyyy shoppe in such-wise; and as much when one is not sure, it’s only a slight movment of the hand or wrist to adjust, so to make the initial gestures when unsure will delay one at most seconds over a day - if even that. hardly something to worry over. ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2006, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-behaviors-i-wouldnt-dream-of-engaging-in-as-a-customer-do-you-do-this-why/341911/50 "2006-01-30T18:48:53Z")
> [@Boo Boo Foo](#): > > So personally, I’d have absolutely no qualms whatsoever in saying the following words - right there in front of the customer, and hopefully in front of other customers too… namely… “Sir /Madam? I was holding out my hand just now for a reason. What you just did is something which I find thoroughly disrespectful. If you return to this store today, don’t expect to be served again.” Are you serious? After all the examples in the thread of reasons why someone might not place money in an open hand? I agree that throwing money is clearly rude, but you’re asking staff to embarrass someone because they choose not to give money as the clerk wants? Do you really think shaming your customers is a way to go about business? I for one would terminate that transaction and not come back, and I am as a rule very polite in these transactions. ---
**Author:** ![Boo\_Boo\_Foo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e274bd/32.png) [@Boo\_Boo\_Foo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boo_Boo_Foo)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2006, 12:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-behaviors-i-wouldnt-dream-of-engaging-in-as-a-customer-do-you-do-this-why/341911/51 "2006-01-31T00:15:36Z")
> [@gigi](#): > > Are you serious? After all the examples in the thread of reasons why someone might not place money in an open hand? I agree that throwing money is clearly rude, but you’re asking staff to embarrass someone because they choose not to give money as the clerk wants? > > Do you really think shaming your customers is a way to go about business? I for one would terminate that transaction and not come back, and I am as a rule very polite in these transactions. Throwing money is disrespectful. If you threw money on to the counter in front of one my staff, you wouldn’t get the chance to terminate the transaction because my staff would probably terminate it for you. As for all the other stuff about reasons why people would, or wouldn’t touch hands etc etc… eh… I’ll give that a pass… maybe… but throwing money is just plain disrespectful. Indeed, this assumption in life that the customer IS ALWAYS RIGHT is just plain crap. If doing business means accepting shithouse behaviour from people, I’d rather not do business thatnks. Indeed, I love it when my staff set the tone… assuming the tone revolves around respect that is. If you don’t like it, if you think you should be entitled to behave with a lack of courtesy and respect, find somewhere else to do business with. That being said, we monitor our calls if somebody rings back a second time to make a legitimate complaint about something. Nobody’s perfect. Communication is a two way street after all. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2006, 12:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-behaviors-i-wouldnt-dream-of-engaging-in-as-a-customer-do-you-do-this-why/341911/52 "2006-01-31T00:26:27Z")
> [@Boo Boo Foo](#): > > So personally, I’d have absolutely no qualms whatsoever in saying the following words - right there in front of the customer, and hopefully in front of other customers too… namely… “Sir /Madam? I was holding out my hand just now for a reason. What you just did is something which I find thoroughly disrespectful. If you return to this store today, don’t expect to be served again.” And likewise, I’d have no qualms going to your manager and complaining. Not that I would throw money in the first place, but sometimes as I’m counting money from my wallet, I start laying it down in front of me. ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2006, 12:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-behaviors-i-wouldnt-dream-of-engaging-in-as-a-customer-do-you-do-this-why/341911/53 "2006-01-31T00:29:09Z")
> [@Cartooniverse](#): > > As for being seen in a certain “light”, sure. Here’s the deal. You are either Hasidim, or you are Unclean. Pretty much cut and dried. As I am not a Hasidic Jew, I’m unclean in their eyes. We all are, unless we are Hasidic, and a member of their particular sect. ( At least, the sect I live near defines all non-members as unclean. I’ve been told face to face that this is how it is. ). That’s the light I am seen in- an Unclean person who they would rather not touch. > > As I did say, I respect it and abide by it and take care not to touch them. Doesn’t seem like too much to ask. Pretty clear. Thanks. It does seem like an unusually stringent belief system – one might think that sect wouldn’t engage in direct trade with outsiders as a consequence. ---
**Author:** ![Boo\_Boo\_Foo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e274bd/32.png) [@Boo\_Boo\_Foo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boo_Boo_Foo)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2006, 2:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-behaviors-i-wouldnt-dream-of-engaging-in-as-a-customer-do-you-do-this-why/341911/54 "2006-01-31T02:34:02Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > And likewise, I’d have no qualms going to your manager and complaining. Not that I would throw money in the first place, but sometimes as I’m counting money from my wallet, I start laying it down in front of me. Most managers would get bored before you finished one of your complaints I suspect. Those 25,000+ posts of yours equal a LOT of words… ---
**Author:** ![Cartooniverse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cartooniverse/32/3084_2.png) [@Cartooniverse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cartooniverse)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2006, 3:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-behaviors-i-wouldnt-dream-of-engaging-in-as-a-customer-do-you-do-this-why/341911/55 "2006-01-31T03:40:50Z")
> [@Beware of Doug](#): > > Pretty clear. Thanks. It does seem like an unusually stringent belief system – one might think that sect wouldn’t engage in direct trade with outsiders as a consequence. Agreed. They ain’t called " Ultra Orthodox" for nothing ! ;j Money talks about most things to most people. Not only do they own some stores outside of their village, but I had to go shopping in the strip mall within their village last December. I was \*\* the only outsider\*\* in the strip mall. I got quite a few hate stares, but was treated by the shopkeepers like anyone else- someone buying food with money. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2006, 3:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-behaviors-i-wouldnt-dream-of-engaging-in-as-a-customer-do-you-do-this-why/341911/56 "2006-01-31T03:42:20Z")
> [@Boo Boo Foo](#): > > Most managers would get bored before you finished one of your complaints I suspect. Those 25,000+ posts of yours equal a LOT of words… Are you going to address my point, or throw out an insult that’s been done to death? ---
**Author:** ![HazelNutCoffee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ac91a4/32.png) [@HazelNutCoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HazelNutCoffee)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2006, 6:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-behaviors-i-wouldnt-dream-of-engaging-in-as-a-customer-do-you-do-this-why/341911/57 "2006-01-31T06:55:28Z")
> [@Agonist](#): > > Here we are: > > From [Things Businesses think are good Customer Service but aren’t.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?postid=6243827#post6243827) I read the post you are referring to, but this is the first time I’ve heard of Koreans thinking that the clinking sound of coins brings good luck (and I am Korean). I live in Korea, and throwing change on the counter is considered just as rude as it is in the States. If a Korean storeowner throws change on the counter, they are either being careless or rude. ---
**Author:** ![Ty\_Cobb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ee59a6/32.png) [@Ty\_Cobb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ty_Cobb)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2006, 11:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-behaviors-i-wouldnt-dream-of-engaging-in-as-a-customer-do-you-do-this-why/341911/58 "2006-01-31T23:45:31Z")
> [@Freddy the Pig](#): > > (2) may be a cultural disconnect–I think that’s the normal way to give and receive change in Europe (and possibly elsewhere). If you have a lot of tourists or immigrants as customers, that may be the explanation. Or, if you yourself are an immigrant. I’ve known a few who worked retail beside me, and they were mystified when people wouldn’t get close. But they had terrible BO. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-behaviors-i-wouldnt-dream-of-engaging-in-as-a-customer-do-you-do-this-why/341911.md?page=2)