# Two colors short of a Rainbow **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 11, 2000, 8:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-colors-short-of-a-rainbow/29014 "2000-08-11T20:21:09Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![SouthernStyle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b3f665/32.png) [@SouthernStyle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SouthernStyle)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2000, 8:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-colors-short-of-a-rainbow/29014/1 "2000-08-11T20:21:09Z")
I haven’t seen one of these on the board for a while, so… What’s your favorite expression to describe someone that’s “a couple of forks short of a place setting”, “Not playing with a full deck”, or who’s “Elevator doesn’t stop on the top floor”? ---
**Author:** ![Silver\_Fire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e4f/32.png) [@Silver\_Fire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silver_Fire)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2000, 8:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-colors-short-of-a-rainbow/29014/2 "2000-08-11T20:24:03Z")
Two grapes short of a fruit basket. ::brain fart:: Excuse me! :o I’m sure I’ll think of more later. ---
**Author:** ![Amthystre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/f19dbf/32.png) [@Amthystre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amthystre)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2000, 8:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-colors-short-of-a-rainbow/29014/3 "2000-08-11T20:24:42Z")
Dad? ---
**Author:** ![GeneralRipper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/2bfe46/32.png) [@GeneralRipper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GeneralRipper)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2000, 8:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-colors-short-of-a-rainbow/29014/4 "2000-08-11T20:36:59Z")
I’ve known a few people that were “swimming in the shallow end of the gene pool” or “only had one oar in the water.” ---
**Author:** ![Gazoo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ce73a5/32.png) [@Gazoo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gazoo)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2000, 8:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-colors-short-of-a-rainbow/29014/5 "2000-08-11T20:52:42Z")
A few fries short of a happy meal. About as sharp as a bag of wet lint. ---
**Author:** ![Geek\_Mecha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ecae2f/32.png) [@Geek\_Mecha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Geek_Mecha)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2000, 9:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-colors-short-of-a-rainbow/29014/6 "2000-08-11T21:12:11Z")
Damn! Gazoo took my favorite! An IQ of two, but it takes three to grunt. A few cans short of a six-pack. The wheel’s spinning, but the hamster’s dead. Couldn’t pour water out of a boot with instructions on the heel. He fell out of the Stupid tree and hit every branch on the way down. Doesn’t have all his dogs on one leash. Forgot to pay his brain bill. A few clowns short of a circus. If he had another brain, it would be lonely. Too much yardage between the goal posts. An experiment in Artificial Stupidity. A few peas short of a casserole. Doesn’t have all his cornflakes in one box. One Fruit Loop shy of a full bowl. One taco short of a combination plate. A few feathers short of a whole duck. Warning: Objects in mirror are dumber than they appear. An intellect rivaled only by garden tools. As smart as bait. His belt doesn’t go through all the loops. Proof that evolution CAN go in reverse. The cheese slid off his cracker. Body by Fisher; brains by Mattel. Chimney’s clogged. Elevator doesn’t go all the way to the top floor. His sewing machine’s out of thread. Her antenna doesn’t pick up all the channels. Missing a few buttons on his remote control. No grain in the silo. Receiver is off the hook. Several nuts short of a full pouch. Skylight leaks a little. Slinky’s kinked. Surfing in Nebraska. Big like ox; smart like tractor A few sandwiches short of a picnic. [sub]Hope I didn’t repeat any… that’d be really stupid! ---
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2000, 9:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-colors-short-of-a-rainbow/29014/7 "2000-08-11T21:19:27Z")
If s/he had half a brain his/her head would be lopsided. Dumber than a box of hair. Thinks people actually read [insertpornmag here] for the articles. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2000, 9:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-colors-short-of-a-rainbow/29014/8 "2000-08-11T21:24:49Z")
Not walking with the other ducks. ---
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2000, 9:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-colors-short-of-a-rainbow/29014/9 "2000-08-11T21:28:36Z")
S/He may be marching to the beat of a different drummer, but the drummer ain’t got a sense of rhythm. ---
**Author:** ![Zoing](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/ecccb3/32.png) [@Zoing](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zoing)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2000, 9:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-colors-short-of-a-rainbow/29014/10 "2000-08-11T21:42:24Z")
Reminds me of that Queen song, “I’m going slightly mad.”(?) It has a lot of those phrases in there; however, I am too lazy to look up the lyrics. ---
**Author:** ![Gunslinger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/4491bb/32.png) [@Gunslinger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gunslinger)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2000, 10:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-colors-short-of-a-rainbow/29014/11 "2000-08-11T22:59:53Z")
All foam, no beer. ---
**Author:** ![Nanno](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/e9c0ed/32.png) [@Nanno](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nanno)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2000, 11:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-colors-short-of-a-rainbow/29014/12 "2000-08-11T23:22:28Z")
I know I shouldn’t say this, but oh well. “are you blonde or what??” a favorite at my house. ---
**Author:** ![Sakura](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/898d66/32.png) [@Sakura](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sakura)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2000, 12:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-colors-short-of-a-rainbow/29014/13 "2000-08-12T00:51:43Z")
A few tits short of an udder. He’s as thick as two short planks glued together with stupid glue. He has the intullectual capacity of a prong sandwich. They have the collective I.Q. of a cow. Some raise it to a cow who knows enough not to lick the electic fence, but a cow none the less. An I.Q. under room temperature. He’s so stupid he got hit by a parked car. About as sharp as a sack of wet mice. You can tell he played contact sports in high school. ---
**Author:** ![Catrandom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7bcc69/32.png) [@Catrandom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Catrandom)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2000, 1:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-colors-short-of-a-rainbow/29014/14 "2000-08-12T01:07:40Z")
They couldn’t work up a three-digit IQ between the two of them. Dumb as a box of hammers (a classic). Catrandom ---
**Author:** ![cheezit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c57346/32.png) [@cheezit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cheezit)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2000, 1:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-colors-short-of-a-rainbow/29014/15 "2000-08-12T01:57:55Z")
One sandwich shy of a picnic. If brains were gas, he wouldn’t have enough to drive a piss ants’ motorcycle half way around the inside of a Cheerio. Dumber than a bucket full of rocks. ---
**Author:** ![robinh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b77776/32.png) [@robinh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robinh)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2000, 2:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-colors-short-of-a-rainbow/29014/16 "2000-08-12T02:06:26Z")
**Dumb as a box of hammers (a classic).** and **Dumber than a bucket full of rocks.** I love how these things change from region to region. I always heard it as, “dumb as a box of rocks.” And my favorite: “couldn’t find his ass with both hands and a flashlight.” ---
**Author:** ![Nutty\_Bunny](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/d07c76/32.png) [@Nutty\_Bunny](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nutty_Bunny)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2000, 3:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-colors-short-of-a-rainbow/29014/17 "2000-08-12T03:15:13Z")
Yes, I’ve always heard the “dumber than a box of rocks”, too. Another one of my dad’s favorites: “Can’t remember twice around a broomstick” and “Can’t boil water for a tramp”. He loved us, really. ---
**Author:** ![Geek\_Mecha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ecae2f/32.png) [@Geek\_Mecha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Geek_Mecha)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2000, 3:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-colors-short-of-a-rainbow/29014/18 "2000-08-12T03:19:24Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by cheezit \* > \*\*If brains were gas, he wouldn’t have enough to drive a piss ants’ motorcycle half way around the inside of a Cheerio. > \*\* I’ve got a new favorite. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Zinger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/e95f7d/32.png) [@Zinger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zinger)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2000, 4:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-colors-short-of-a-rainbow/29014/19 "2000-08-12T04:23:55Z")
a few fries short of a happy meal. oooh, a happy meal sounds good… ---
**Author:** ![Myrr21](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e495f1/32.png) [@Myrr21](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Myrr21)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2000, 4:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-colors-short-of-a-rainbow/29014/20 "2000-08-12T04:32:31Z")
Not the brightest tack in the box… I love the faces people make trying to figure \* that \* one out 🙂 [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-colors-short-of-a-rainbow/29014.md?page=2)