# Two free tickets, three people **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [September 13, 2012, 11:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-free-tickets-three-people/634638 "2012-09-13T23:05:44Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![j666](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9de0a6/32.png) [@j666](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/j666)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2012, 12:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-free-tickets-three-people/634638/21 "2012-09-14T00:45:21Z")
> [@Chessic\_Sense](#): > > I’m the husband. I outrank literally everyone in the universe in importance in her life. > [@Chessic\_Sense](#): > > Supporting my wife means making my own dinner, doing my own laundry, … Couple of more examples of this, and the problem will solve itself. ---
**Author:** ![Chessic\_Sense](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7c8e57/32.png) [@Chessic\_Sense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chessic_Sense)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2012, 12:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-free-tickets-three-people/634638/22 "2012-09-14T00:47:14Z")
> [@elbows](#): > > You could spend some time on reflecting why such a seemingly trivial issue has gotten under your skin. > Happy Wife = Happy Life ! What did I tell you about such an argument? > [@Rachellelogram](#): > > Well, you guys are married. You need to work this out between yourselves. It doesn’t matter in the slightest what Dopers think, because your finances aren’t entwined with ours. Even if we agree with your perspective (you should come first in her life), we can’t pretend to understand the nature of your relationship to your wife. Also, I don’t really understand why this is a fight. Do you guys not have a shared bank account? Why would paying for this cause you undue hardship, but not her? Whoa, whoa, whoa. Let’s get this straight. There’s no fight here. It’s already over. If it were a fight, I would not have brought it to the Dope. Since it’s incredibly irrelevant, it’s perfect fodder for a Dope thread. > [@Inner\_Stickler](#): > > Are you in the show? Then they’re not your tickets. Fuck that. I’m half of this equation. What’s hers is mine. > [@stpauler](#): > > WAT? Don’t get bent out of shape. We have a division of labor in this house. Would you say “WAT?” if she were bitching about having to take out the garbage or kill a spider? The point is, I’ve picked up her chores since she’s at rehearsal 'til late. Why they’re her chores and not mine is a distraction from the point of this thread. > [@Xema](#): > > I say that you had a chance to be graceful and fumbled it big time. > > You now should (partially) redeem yourself by buying her something nice (flowers?), apologizing profusely, explaining that you understand how astonishingly insensitive you were and that it will never happen again. Flowers are a given. That occurs at every show opening. But I have to defend myself of the “graceful” charge. We didn’t fight in front of the friends. First of all, it was over before it began. I piped up with a “correction” to her comment of having two tickets, and then we kinda realized there was no misspeaking involved, and we all shut up. Plus, our friends are close enough that a little visible spat isn’t anything to be shocked about. If you guys wanted to see a fight, you shoulda been here for the “Cast Party of 2010” fight. That was a doozy. But this isn’t a fight, so chill. Just pick a side for reasons other than “you’re the man” or “pick your battles.” ---
**Author:** ![Chessic\_Sense](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7c8e57/32.png) [@Chessic\_Sense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chessic_Sense)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2012, 12:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-free-tickets-three-people/634638/23 "2012-09-14T00:53:27Z")
> [@j666](#): > > Couple of more examples of this, and the problem will solve itself. Yeah, God forbid I forsake all others and cleave unto her only. This ring on my finger is just a suggestion. And it’d be ludicrous to have only one chef in the kitchen. Everyone knows the more you pack in there, the better the broth. In fact, we should also segregate our dirty clothes so that we can each be responsible for exactly the same amount of everything. On trash day, we record exactly how many bags each carry outside, and if there’s an odd number, we team-lift the last one, 'cause God knows it’d be tragic if we didn’t split each chore straight down the middle. ---
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2012, 12:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-free-tickets-three-people/634638/24 "2012-09-14T00:57:46Z")
Yeah yeah, justify all you want. You were still rude. ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2012, 12:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-free-tickets-three-people/634638/25 "2012-09-14T00:58:53Z")
> [@Chessic\_Sense](#): > > Just pick a side for reasons other than “you’re the man” or “pick your battles.” Tickets issued as a pair make more sense given to a couple than a single and half of a couple. (Especially true if tickets are for a specific seat.) Comp tickets are specifically given out by theater management to encourage people who wouldn’t otherwise come to come to the show and tell all their friends. As her husband, you’re expected to come, and thus a wasted comp. > [@](#): > > In fact, we should also segregate our dirty clothes so that we can each be responsible for exactly the same amount of everything. On trash day, we record exactly how many bags each carry outside, and if there’s an odd number, we team-lift the last one, 'cause God knows it’d be tragic if we didn’t split each chore straight down the middle. Well, yes, that would be ludicrous, which is why it’s head scratching that you wrote: > [@](#): > > Supporting my wife means making my own dinner, doing my own laundry… I would have written “Supporting my wife means making dinner, doing the laundry…” Why specify just “my own”? Makes it sound like you want bonus points for cooking your own dinner and doing your own laundry, which, while may be negotiated any way you like as a household, is essentially the default state of being a grownup. ---
**Author:** ![Chessic\_Sense](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7c8e57/32.png) [@Chessic\_Sense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chessic_Sense)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2012, 12:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-free-tickets-three-people/634638/26 "2012-09-14T00:59:14Z")
> [@Ferret\_Herder](#): > > You were still rude. :mad: That wasn’t the question you were asked. ---
**Author:** ![DataX](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@DataX](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DataX)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2012, 12:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-free-tickets-three-people/634638/27 "2012-09-14T00:59:33Z")
> [@](#): > > I’m the husband. I outrank literally everyone in the universe in importance in her life. I couldn’t agree with you more. But you are still wrong. Suck it up and buy the ticket. I think you are letting her (choosing her friends over you) hurt you way more than it should. That isn’t actually what she is doing. I think you need to realize you are too close to this and do what everyone else is telling you. You were smart enough to post here trying to understand - be smart enough to realize you aren’t seeing this clearly. It isn’t even really close, but I do understand why you’d be hurt. But I understand why she’d be hurt more. Buy the ticket - please. ---
**Author:** ![Chessic\_Sense](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7c8e57/32.png) [@Chessic\_Sense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chessic_Sense)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2012, 1:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-free-tickets-three-people/634638/28 "2012-09-14T01:03:54Z")
> [@WhyNot](#): > > I would have written “Supporting my wife means making dinner, doing the laundry…” > > Why specify just “my own”? Makes it sound like you want bonus points for cooking your own dinner and doing your own laundry, which, while may be negotiated any way you like as a household, is essentially the default state of being a grownup. A mere vocabulary oversight. My wife, these days, eats dinner on the road. So I’m only cooking for one. As for laundry, I’m banned from touching her stuff. She’s got some crazy rules, no doubt justifiably based in reality, for how her things must be laundered. So I avoid being summarily executed by avoiding washing her things. I think you’re reading into it too deeply. ---
**Author:** ![CrazyCatLady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dfb087/32.png) [@CrazyCatLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CrazyCatLady)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2012, 1:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-free-tickets-three-people/634638/29 "2012-09-14T01:04:14Z")
> [@Chessic\_Sense](#): > > Supporting my wife means making my own dinner, doing my own laundry, picking her up every night, and listening to her bitch about her castmates/director/costume/whatever. No, dinner and laundry and listening to her bitch isn’t being supportive; it’s being an acceptable husband. Not even a _good_ husband, mind you, because if you’re an able-bodied adult of remotely sound mind and you’re married, doing some of the household chores and listening to your partner vent is the absolute bare minimum. The picking her up thing is potentially supportive, depending on your transportation options and whatnot. Both of you are partially right and partially wrong. The free tickets are to some extent community property and she should have discussed the matter with you before offering them to someone else. But once she did it, the time and place to discuss your concerns was NOT right there in front of your friends; it’s rude to rescind a gift offer, it’s rude to contradict your spouse like that in public, and it’s rude to squabble with your spouse in front of other people. I think you should just pay the $20 and consider it not as spending $20 on a ticket you could have gotten for free, but $20 to avoid having a huge, far-ranging fight that will ultimately accomplish nothing. And if you look at it from that angle, it’s a bargain at twice the price. ---
**Author:** ![Chessic\_Sense](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7c8e57/32.png) [@Chessic\_Sense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chessic_Sense)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2012, 1:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-free-tickets-three-people/634638/30 "2012-09-14T01:05:35Z")
> [@DataX](#): > > But I understand why she’d be hurt more. Explain. ---
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2012, 1:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-free-tickets-three-people/634638/31 "2012-09-14T01:05:51Z")
> [@Chessic\_Sense](#): > > :mad: That wasn’t the question you were asked. Doesn’t matter. You contradicted her and questioned her judgement - your wife, she who should hold you in highest esteem amongst all relationships - in front of friends over a tiny gift she was giving them. If that happened to me I’d be embarrassed **at the very least**. Edit - What **CrazyCatLady** said. She had a generous impulse and you called her out and embarrassed her in front of friends. ---
**Author:** ![Inner\_Stickler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inner_stickler/32/318_2.png) [@Inner\_Stickler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inner_Stickler)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2012, 1:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-free-tickets-three-people/634638/32 "2012-09-14T01:06:54Z")
> [@Chessic\_Sense](#): > > Fuck that. I’m half of this equation. What’s hers is mine. How…touching. ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2012, 1:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-free-tickets-three-people/634638/33 "2012-09-14T01:15:00Z")
> [@Chessic\_Sense](#): > > A mere vocabulary oversight. My wife, these days, eats dinner on the road. So I’m only cooking for one. As for laundry, I’m banned from touching her stuff. She’s got some crazy rules, no doubt justifiably based in reality, for how her things must be laundered. So I avoid being summarily executed by avoiding washing her things. > > I think you’re reading into it too deeply. Entirely possible. One of the flaws of this medium is that, literally, we have to read. We can only go on what you write. But, still, back to the OP: “I need you all to tell me if I’m the crazy one here.” Yes. I’m not sure we can convince you _why_, but yes, you’re the crazy one here. You’re welcome. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![GrandWino](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grandwino/32/67_2.png) [@GrandWino](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrandWino)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2012, 1:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-free-tickets-three-people/634638/34 "2012-09-14T01:20:29Z")
Holy fuck dude, grow up. ---
**Author:** ![Chessic\_Sense](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7c8e57/32.png) [@Chessic\_Sense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chessic_Sense)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2012, 1:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-free-tickets-three-people/634638/35 "2012-09-14T01:22:10Z")
> [@Bob Ducca](#): > > Holy fuck dude, grow up. Your well-reasoned argument is both insightful and helpful. ---
**Author:** ![Jake\_Jones](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e0b2c6/32.png) [@Jake\_Jones](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jake_Jones)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2012, 1:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-free-tickets-three-people/634638/36 "2012-09-14T01:23:20Z")
You’re over thinking this. You’ve already stated that your assets are pooled. Your wife chose to give a modest gift out of that asset pool. You’re getting all wrapped up in the ticket as a symbol of your priority in the relationship, but that’s not what’s happening here. Would you care if your wife otherwise gave your friends a gift of $20, or even $40 without consulting you? If you would, then you are at least being logically consistent. If not, then you’re attaching an emotional value to an object that your wife did not assign to it and you should concede the argument. ---
**Author:** ![even\_sven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/dfb087/32.png) [@even\_sven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/even_sven)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2012, 1:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-free-tickets-three-people/634638/37 "2012-09-14T01:35:10Z")
You are wrong about this, for any number of reasons. 1. Comp tickets are designed to get people in who will spread the word about the show. You will presumeably already be spreading the word about the show, so it’s not a great use of a comp ticket. All of this talk about you not financially benefitting from the show’s revenue is petty and disrespectful. Your wife, that woman you love, benefits from being seen, from having a healthy and vibrant theater scene, and from being in a successful show. 2. Your wife was excited because her show was opening and she had a great chance to share her success with her friends. Whether or not you think you have a claim on the tickets, seeing your SO excited about something is charming, and should evoke warm feelings, not resentment. 3. What’s yours is her and vice-versa, sure. But that’s not a tit for tat thing. If you win some kind of super-awesome tickets to an event you and your freinds really enjoy, it’d be pretty f-cked up of her to demand you hand over the ticket because she has some whim to spend that evening in the arena snack bar watching Netflix on her phone. She couldn’t demand that you sell your computer to buy a designer purse. When dividing household goods, it’s each giving according to their ability and each recieving according to her needs. You have the ability to drop a twenty, and she probably does need to celebrate her success with her friends. Give it up. Be happy for her. Now, if she is such a successful actress that primiers are an utterly routine event, then yeah, it’d be silly to expect you to buy a ticket every time. But I get the impression this is a special event for her. Don’t put a pall on that by being petty. > [@Chessic\_Sense](#): > > My wife, these days, eats dinner on the road. So I’m only cooking for one. As for laundry, I’m banned from touching her stuff. So you feed yourself and put your own underweare in the dryer. I think that’s a pretty low bar for self-sacrifice in the name of support. ---
**Author:** ![SubaRhubarb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecd19e/32.png) [@SubaRhubarb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SubaRhubarb)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2012, 1:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-free-tickets-three-people/634638/38 "2012-09-14T01:38:56Z")
The love I sense you have for her is overwhelming. Pay for the ticket so you can support the people that support your wife. That way, 2 months from now we don’t have to sift through a "Wtf my wife left me? " thread. How long have you been married? And you argue in front of your friends often enough a spat doesn’t faze them? Why waste a ticket? It seems unlikely anyone will want to go and sit with you. ---
**Author:** ![MoodIndigo1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e8c25b/32.png) [@MoodIndigo1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MoodIndigo1)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2012, 1:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-free-tickets-three-people/634638/39 "2012-09-14T01:43:07Z")
I’m with those who think you should have shown some grace and been happy that your friends get the tickets when your wife offered them. Your “me first” attitude is petty and childish, but then you might not have had the best people skills in the world --and she still married you, so you probably have some other qualities. ---
**Author:** ![AuntiePam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/f19dbf/32.png) [@AuntiePam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AuntiePam)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2012, 1:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-free-tickets-three-people/634638/40 "2012-09-14T01:45:35Z")
I’d be the first in line to buy a ticket to something my SO was involved in. It shows that I’m proud of him, not just supportive but proud. The flip side is “I’m not gonna bother to go unless it’s free.” I know that’s not your intent and that you’ll go even if you have to pay, but grousing about buying a ticket is kinda disrespectful, even dismissive. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-free-tickets-three-people/634638.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-free-tickets-three-people/634638.md?page=3)