# Two gunslingers walk into a bar... **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [October 10, 2011, 10:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-gunslingers-walk-into-a-bar/599228 "2011-10-10T22:15:10Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![G0sp3l](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c68b51/32.png) [@G0sp3l](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/G0sp3l)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2011, 10:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-gunslingers-walk-into-a-bar/599228/1 "2011-10-10T22:15:10Z")
Seeing as they both have excellent eyesight one of’em shoulda seen it. Anywho, they get up and dust themselves off. They get to drankin’ and steely eyed starin’ and the next thing you know; Roland of Gilead: I heard Quantrill was a Jayhawker and buggered sheep. Josey Wales: Well I heard Authur Eld was a cuckold and buggered fairies. Roland: Laura Lee courts Comancheros! Josey: Susan Delgado kisses hags! Roland: You have forgotten the face of your father. Josey: You gonna pull those pistols or whistle Dixie? hands blur, pistols blaze, the smoke clears revealing the steel-eyed gaze of…? ---
**Author:** ![RealityChuck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/realitychuck/32/195_2.png) [@RealityChuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RealityChuck)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2011, 11:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-gunslingers-walk-into-a-bar/599228/2 "2011-10-10T23:13:27Z")
Will Sonnett could take them both. No brag. Just fact. ---
**Author:** ![leftfield6](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leftfield6/32/18780_2.png) [@leftfield6](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/leftfield6)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2011, 12:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-gunslingers-walk-into-a-bar/599228/3 "2011-10-11T00:15:31Z")
Josey. Because he is Clint Motherfucking Eastwood. ---
**Author:** ![Horatio\_Hellpop](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e5b9ba/32.png) [@Horatio\_Hellpop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Horatio_Hellpop)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2011, 12:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-gunslingers-walk-into-a-bar/599228/4 "2011-10-11T00:45:38Z")
185 gunslingers walk into a bar. Bartender sez “I’m sorry, we don’t serve gunslingers in this bar.” The 185 gunslingers reply “But we just wanted a shot…” ---
**Author:** ![Steophan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/steophan/32/9595_2.png) [@Steophan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Steophan)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2011, 12:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-gunslingers-walk-into-a-bar/599228/5 "2011-10-11T00:55:02Z")
> [@leftfield6](#): > > Josey. Because he is Clint Motherfucking Eastwood. So’s Roland, or at least directly based on him. ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2011, 1:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-gunslingers-walk-into-a-bar/599228/6 "2011-10-11T01:12:10Z")
> [@G0sp3l](#): > > hands blur, pistols blaze, the smoke clears revealing the steel-eyed gaze of…? Latigo. \ ***Jug** : You hit that fellow from behind? **Latigo** : Just as hard as I could! \* ---
**Author:** ![Mosier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ea924/32.png) [@Mosier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mosier)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2011, 1:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-gunslingers-walk-into-a-bar/599228/7 "2011-10-11T01:20:40Z")
Roland. He one-hand-reloads one of his six shooters while shooting grapes flung from a slingshot with the other six shooter. It’s even more over the top than Superman. ---
**Author:** ![blondebear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/blondebear/32/1022_2.png) [@blondebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blondebear)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2011, 1:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-gunslingers-walk-into-a-bar/599228/8 "2011-10-11T01:21:36Z")
The headless Thompson gunner stands alone. ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2011, 1:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-gunslingers-walk-into-a-bar/599228/9 "2011-10-11T01:49:01Z")
> [@G0sp3l](#): > > Seeing as they both have excellent eyesight one of’em shoulda seen it. Anywho, they get up and dust themselves off. They get to drankin’ and steely eyed starin’ and the next thing you know; > > Roland of Gilead: I heard Quantrill was a Jayhawker and buggered sheep. > Josey Wales: Well I heard Authur Eld was a cuckold and buggered fairies. > Roland: Laura Lee courts Comancheros! > Josey: Susan Delgado kisses hags! > Roland: You have forgotten the face of your father. > Josey: You gonna pull those pistols or whistle Dixie? > > hands blur, pistols blaze, the smoke clears revealing the steel-eyed gaze of…? They got their steel-eyed gazes from when they walked into the bar, right? ---
**Author:** ![Lochdale](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/edb3f5/32.png) [@Lochdale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lochdale)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2011, 3:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-gunslingers-walk-into-a-bar/599228/10 "2011-10-11T03:55:47Z")
Shane kills them both. ---
**Author:** ![Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/intergalactic_gladiator/32/112_2.png) [@Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Intergalactic_Gladiator)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2011, 4:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-gunslingers-walk-into-a-bar/599228/11 "2011-10-11T04:38:25Z")
> [@Lochdale](#): > > Shane kills them both. Gooseman? ---
**Author:** ![Oakminster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/77aa72/32.png) [@Oakminster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oakminster)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2011, 5:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-gunslingers-walk-into-a-bar/599228/12 "2011-10-11T05:48:40Z")
> [@Lochdale](#): > > Shane kills them both. He came back? ---
**Author:** ![G0sp3l](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c68b51/32.png) [@G0sp3l](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/G0sp3l)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2011, 3:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-gunslingers-walk-into-a-bar/599228/13 "2011-10-11T15:23:55Z")
> [@Oakminster](#): > > He came back? Of course, he never got his sodie-pop. Will Munny was seen heading towards the bar later. 'Course with his eye-sight… ---
**Author:** ![bleach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bleach/32/3106_2.png) [@bleach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bleach)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2011, 7:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-gunslingers-walk-into-a-bar/599228/14 "2011-10-11T19:17:28Z")
> [@G0sp3l](#): > > hands blur, pistols blaze, the smoke clears revealing the steel-eyed gaze of…? … the [Hubba Bubba cowboy](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R0yMbNWrjt4&feature=related), contemplative over the tragic tableau of the dead and wounded. Shaking his head sadly as he turns to leave, he is heard to whisper “Big bubbles. No troubles.” ---
**Author:** ![TV\_time](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f17d59/32.png) [@TV\_time](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TV_time)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2011, 9:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-gunslingers-walk-into-a-bar/599228/15 "2011-10-11T21:05:49Z")
“Look Curly, It’s Ringo…How ya doing, Kid?” ---
**Author:** ![smaje1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e47774/32.png) [@smaje1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/smaje1)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2011, 9:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-gunslingers-walk-into-a-bar/599228/16 "2011-10-11T21:27:37Z")
In what world would a gunslinger start gossiping with the man sitting next to him at a bar? Not likely to happen. ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2011, 9:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-gunslingers-walk-into-a-bar/599228/17 "2011-10-11T21:43:44Z")
> [@Lochdale](#): > > Shane kills them both. Did he get shot and die as he rode into the sunset? ---
**Author:** ![TV\_time](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f17d59/32.png) [@TV\_time](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TV_time)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2011, 10:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-gunslingers-walk-into-a-bar/599228/18 "2011-10-13T22:00:20Z")
> [@TriPolar](#): > > Did he get shot and die as he rode into the sunset? Got shot, but it’s Shane for heaven’s sake. Do you think a bullet could stop him? No, he’ll be back. He’ll be back when we really need him. ---
**Author:** ![Kobal2](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kobal2/32/20_2.png) [@Kobal2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kobal2)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2011, 10:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-gunslingers-walk-into-a-bar/599228/19 "2011-10-13T22:12:20Z")
> [@kaylasdad99](#): > > They got their steel-eyed gazes from when they walked into the bar, right? Walk ? \*Walk \*?! A gritty gunslinger doesn’t just walk [del]into Mordor[/del]. He moseys. ---
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2011, 11:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-gunslingers-walk-into-a-bar/599228/20 "2011-10-13T23:08:12Z")
Roland’s abilities are essentially superhuman. King tries to write him as having gone through the most unbelievable sort of medeival-meets-Old-Weast-meets-Navy SEALS training, but a “gunslinger” in that world has shooting powers beyond those of a human being (and, not incidentally, probably physically impossible given the weapons they use.) Clint Eastwood, be he Josey Wales, the Man With No Name, The Preacher, or whomever, is a hell of a gunfighter but still human. He wins because of observational bias; he’s the hero and you are watching a story where the hero wins. Roland would gun him down. But Stephen King would somehow write Eastwood back to life. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-gunslingers-walk-into-a-bar/599228.md?page=2)