# Two gunslingers walk into a bar... **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [October 10, 2011, 10:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-gunslingers-walk-into-a-bar/599228 "2011-10-10T22:15:10Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 12\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![The\_Tooth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c67d28/32.png) [@The\_Tooth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Tooth)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2011, 12:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-gunslingers-walk-into-a-bar/599228/21 "2011-10-14T00:22:21Z")
Tuco wins. If you’re gonna talk, talk. If you’re gonna shoot, shoot. ---
**Author:** ![G0sp3l](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c68b51/32.png) [@G0sp3l](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/G0sp3l)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2011, 4:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-gunslingers-walk-into-a-bar/599228/22 "2011-10-14T16:09:39Z")
> [@RickJay](#): > > Roland’s abilities are essentially superhuman. King tries to write him as having gone through the most unbelievable sort of medeival-meets-Old-Weast-meets-Navy SEALS training, but a “gunslinger” in that world has shooting powers beyond those of a human being (and, not incidentally, probably physically impossible given the weapons they use.) > > Clint Eastwood, be he Josey Wales, the Man With No Name, The Preacher, or whomever, is a hell of a gunfighter but still human. He wins because of observational bias; he’s the hero and you are watching a story where the hero wins. > > Roland would gun him down. But Stephen King would somehow write Eastwood back to life. Training from hell maybe but he had to ‘get creative’ to beat Cort. Not getting to serious, I believe Roland wins also. The Kid at the Crossing though … 🙂 course he’s not based on Clint ---
**Author:** ![Peanuthead](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/peanuthead/32/360_2.png) [@Peanuthead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peanuthead)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2011, 8:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-gunslingers-walk-into-a-bar/599228/23 "2011-10-14T20:54:16Z")
Toshiro Mifune was tending bar and sliced them all to pieces. ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2011, 9:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-gunslingers-walk-into-a-bar/599228/24 "2011-10-14T21:42:04Z")
> [@TV\_time](#): > > Got shot, but it’s Shane for heaven’s sake. Do you think a bullet could stop him? No, he’ll be back. He’ll be back when we really need him. Then where is he? We certainly need him now. ---
**Author:** ![Bosstrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Bosstrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosstrain)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2011, 9:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-gunslingers-walk-into-a-bar/599228/25 "2011-10-14T21:57:33Z")
Two words: Chuck…Norris…😃 (yeah, I know) ---
**Author:** ![rolandgunslinger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/cdc98d/32.png) [@rolandgunslinger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rolandgunslinger)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2011, 12:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-gunslingers-walk-into-a-bar/599228/26 "2011-10-15T00:37:42Z")
Roland wins. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2011, 1:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-gunslingers-walk-into-a-bar/599228/27 "2011-10-15T01:12:28Z")
What about Rance Stoddard? He beat Liberty Valance, didn’t he? ---
**Author:** ![mamboman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ecb155/32.png) [@mamboman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mamboman)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2011, 2:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-gunslingers-walk-into-a-bar/599228/28 "2011-10-15T02:30:10Z")
No. The World’s Second Greatest Assassin does it for his kids. ---
**Author:** ![fumster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e9c0ed/32.png) [@fumster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fumster)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2011, 3:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-gunslingers-walk-into-a-bar/599228/29 "2011-10-16T15:44:03Z")
Bartender: We don’t serve faster than light particles here Tachyon walks into a bar: I’ll have a sasparilla ---
**Author:** ![bucketybuck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/898d66/32.png) [@bucketybuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bucketybuck)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2011, 3:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-gunslingers-walk-into-a-bar/599228/30 "2011-10-16T15:53:10Z")
> [@RickJay](#): > > a hell of a gunfighter but still human. Ahem. Are you forgetting High Plains Drifter? ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2011, 5:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-gunslingers-walk-into-a-bar/599228/31 "2011-10-19T05:27:52Z")
> [@Little\_Nemo](#): > > What about Rance Stoddard? He beat Liberty Valance, didn’t he? Not quite. I’ll go with The Black Knight. He may have a scratch or a flesh wound but he’ll still be standing. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2011, 5:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-gunslingers-walk-into-a-bar/599228/32 "2011-10-19T05:41:37Z")
> [@RickJay](#): > > But Stephen King would somehow write Eastwood back to life. Or some semblance of life . . . They tried to warn us . . . The earth is **sour**. . . [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-gunslingers-walk-into-a-bar/599228.md?page=1)