# Two guys from Texas plan to conquer and enslave their own sex island **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 21, 2025, 2:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-guys-from-texas-plan-to-conquer-and-enslave-their-own-sex-island/1025033 "2025-11-21T14:41:58Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![griffin1977](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/977dab/32.png) [@griffin1977](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/griffin1977)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2025, 1:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-guys-from-texas-plan-to-conquer-and-enslave-their-own-sex-island/1025033/61 "2025-11-22T01:12:41Z")
> [@Dorjan](#): > > Even with THIS administration, I highly doubt anyone would think that two yahoos from Texas attempting to “invade” an island in Haiti were doing it at the behest of the US Government I wish that were true. TBH, though I have absolutely no evidence to support it, everything they tried to do (and the utterly incompetent way they tried to do it) is so on message with the current administration I’m not _completely_ unconvinced they didn’t give some kind of tacit support. ---
**Author:** ![Atamasama](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/atamasama/32/12961_2.png) [@Atamasama](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atamasama)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2025, 1:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-guys-from-texas-plan-to-conquer-and-enslave-their-own-sex-island/1025033/62 "2025-11-22T01:12:54Z")
Are we sure this wasn’t just the plot from one of the more recent _Beavis and Butt-Head_ episodes? ---
**Author:** ![griffin1977](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/977dab/32.png) [@griffin1977](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/griffin1977)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2025, 1:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-guys-from-texas-plan-to-conquer-and-enslave-their-own-sex-island/1025033/63 "2025-11-22T01:13:56Z")
> [@Atamasama](#): > > we sure this wasn’t just the plot from one of the more recent _Beavis and Butt-Head_ episodes? This incident or the whole Trump administration? ---
**Author:** ![Atamasama](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/atamasama/32/12961_2.png) [@Atamasama](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atamasama)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2025, 1:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-guys-from-texas-plan-to-conquer-and-enslave-their-own-sex-island/1025033/64 "2025-11-22T01:15:30Z")
> [@griffin1977](#): > > This incident or the whole Trump administration? The latter would at least require a film, not an episode. But seriously, I could very much see the two decide they are going to go to an island, kick all of the guys’ asses, and “finally score”. ---
**Author:** ![Velocity](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/velocity/32/18006_2.png) [@Velocity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Velocity)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2025, 5:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-guys-from-texas-plan-to-conquer-and-enslave-their-own-sex-island/1025033/65 "2025-11-22T05:55:38Z")
I still want to see how they thought 2 men could best 40,000 opponents. ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2025, 8:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-guys-from-texas-plan-to-conquer-and-enslave-their-own-sex-island/1025033/66 "2025-11-22T08:33:53Z")
Obviously they were gonna raise their own military. Duh. 😄 ---
**Author:** ![ASL\_v2.0](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asl_v2.0/32/3525_2.png) [@ASL\_v2.0](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ASL_v2.0)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2025, 2:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-guys-from-texas-plan-to-conquer-and-enslave-their-own-sex-island/1025033/67 "2025-11-22T14:19:47Z")
> [@Heracles](#): > > And there’s no way to tell how the Andrew Tate / Charlie Kirk crowd would have reacted if these idiots had been killed “by an angry mob” in Haïti, and how high it would have escalated in Washington. “White genocide!” would have been the cry. ---
**Author:** ![Velocity](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/velocity/32/18006_2.png) [@Velocity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Velocity)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2025, 2:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-guys-from-texas-plan-to-conquer-and-enslave-their-own-sex-island/1025033/68 "2025-11-22T14:40:26Z")
As crazy as the Tate/Kirk crowd is, I think their response would be rather muted if it were made clear to them that the 2 white guys had opened fire first and the local Haitians took them out. ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2025, 2:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-guys-from-texas-plan-to-conquer-and-enslave-their-own-sex-island/1025033/69 "2025-11-22T14:54:45Z")
Exactly who among the RW propaganda machine busy deifying these ~~idjits~~ martyrs would have even mentioned they were armed, much less shooting? You (and many other people) keep thinking there is some actual truth out there in the world that penetrates into the RW propaganda-o-sphere. Nope. It’s pretty damned hermetic. They are told what to believe and they believe what they are told. And they wouldn’t be told the Great White heroes fired first. ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2025, 3:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-guys-from-texas-plan-to-conquer-and-enslave-their-own-sex-island/1025033/70 "2025-11-22T15:04:13Z")
If anyone here hasn’t read the OP’s cite and has just been running with his excellent lede excerpt, do take the couple minutes to read the article. I just did that and however wacky you thought these guys were / are, they’re wackier than that. All I can say is “This is your brain(s) on TikTok and weed. Lots and lots of strong weed.” ---
**Author:** ![griffin1977](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/977dab/32.png) [@griffin1977](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/griffin1977)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2025, 3:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-guys-from-texas-plan-to-conquer-and-enslave-their-own-sex-island/1025033/71 "2025-11-22T15:53:07Z")
> [@LSLGuy](#): > > I just did that and however wacky you thought these guys were / are, they’re wackier than that. > > All I can say is “This is your brain(s) on TikTok and weed. Lots and lots of strong weed.” Post QAnon that is pretty much the core GOP demographic Back in the day I thought it was a good thing that David Icke was being adopted by neo Nazis, as he is so insane that no mainstream party would ever want to be associated with them. Turns out I was wrong. The GOP successfully pivoted to co-opt the whole lot, schizophrenics, Nazis, and schizophrenic Nazis. ---
**Author:** ![Great\_Antibob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e47c2d/32.png) [@Great\_Antibob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Great_Antibob)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2025, 4:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-guys-from-texas-plan-to-conquer-and-enslave-their-own-sex-island/1025033/72 "2025-11-22T16:17:57Z")
I know it’s local news but they have to up their expert game. If a criminologist is using the word “planification”, maybe paraphrase or find another guy? ---
**Author:** ![Chessic\_Sense](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7c8e57/32.png) [@Chessic\_Sense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chessic_Sense)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2025, 4:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-guys-from-texas-plan-to-conquer-and-enslave-their-own-sex-island/1025033/73 "2025-11-22T16:41:04Z")
> [@Babale](#): > > It reminds one of Victoriano Álvarez and his (mis)adventures on Clipperton Island Reminds me of [Pitcairn Island](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/History_of_the_Pitcairn_Islands#Racial_tensions), which by coincidence I was just reading yesterday. Wikipedia includes the strangely amusing quote: > Within hours they beheaded Martin and Mills, shot Williams and Brown dead, and fatally wounded Christian in a carefully executed series of murders. Christian was set upon while working in his fields, first shot and then butchered with an axe; his last words, supposedly, were: “Oh, dear!” “Heavens to Betsy! I’ma bein’ murdered!” - Christian, probably ---
**Author:** ![griffin1977](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/977dab/32.png) [@griffin1977](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/griffin1977)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2025, 4:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-guys-from-texas-plan-to-conquer-and-enslave-their-own-sex-island/1025033/74 "2025-11-22T16:45:31Z")
> [@Velocity](#): > > As crazy as the Tate/Kirk crowd is, I think their response would be rather muted if it were made clear to them that the 2 white guys had opened fire first and the local Haitians took them out I wish I shared your optimism. I have no evidence the GOP is involved in this or is about to be. But everything about this whole thing is so absolutely on-message for the GOP in 2025, it would not surprise me if they did (or were from the start) ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2025, 8:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-guys-from-texas-plan-to-conquer-and-enslave-their-own-sex-island/1025033/75 "2025-11-22T20:52:18Z")
> [@](#): > > David Finn, Weisenburg’s attorney, said he encourages everyone to “tap the breaks” and reserve judgment. > **[Prosecutors say 2 Texas men made plans to take over a Haitian island](https://abcnews.go.com/US/wireStory/federal-prosecutors-2-texas-men-made-plans-haitian-127769816)** > > Federal prosecutors say two Texas men were making plans to take over a Haitian island, kill all of the men and then use the women and children for sex And if they’re convicted, well, those are the brakes. ---
**Author:** ![F.U.Shakespeare](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/aca169/32.png) [@F.U.Shakespeare](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/F.U.Shakespeare)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2025, 9:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-guys-from-texas-plan-to-conquer-and-enslave-their-own-sex-island/1025033/76 "2025-11-22T21:19:57Z")
> [@Jackmannii](#): > > Federal prosecutors say two Texas men were making plans to take over a Haitian island, kill all of the men and then use the women and children for sex. I could picture these two getting it backwards, ala the Polish bank robber (he tied up the safe and blew the teller). ---
**Author:** ![Ancient\_Nerd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ed655f/32.png) [@Ancient\_Nerd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ancient_Nerd)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2025, 9:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-guys-from-texas-plan-to-conquer-and-enslave-their-own-sex-island/1025033/77 "2025-11-22T21:42:41Z")
With the Bay of Pigs, the invasion was supposed to inspire the Cuban people to rise up an overthrow Castro. Were these guys thinking along the same lines? ---
**Author:** ![ParallelLines](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/parallellines/32/3575_2.png) [@ParallelLines](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ParallelLines)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2025, 3:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-guys-from-texas-plan-to-conquer-and-enslave-their-own-sex-island/1025033/78 "2025-11-23T03:25:29Z")
> [@griffin1977](#): > > I wish I shared your optimism. I have no evidence the GOP is involved in this or is about to be. But everything about this whole thing is so absolutely on-message for the GOP in 2025, it would not surprise me if they did (or were from the start) I mean, I can squint my eyes and visualize hard to make a convincing Conspiracy Theory. Trump admin wants a ready-made “emergency” to respond to with military might, to escape [insert criminal scandal of the _day_], and had an intern find a couple of unstable “good 'ol boys” to attempt to go to Haiti, where they’re immediately dispatched, and Trump demands and forces though a military action to punish those responsible. But given the sheer number of stupid, ignorant, fellow Americans who are convinced that action movies reflect reality, finding there were two that stayed drunk/stoned long enough to actually start planning it is so pathetically plausible, there’s no need to add a CT to make it happen. ---
**Author:** ![Spiderman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spiderman/32/230_2.png) [@Spiderman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spiderman)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2025, 3:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-guys-from-texas-plan-to-conquer-and-enslave-their-own-sex-island/1025033/79 "2025-11-23T03:35:48Z")
I wonder if that was the lawyer or the journalist’s typo? If they didn’t have $ for sailing lessons in Thailand how were they going to transport their homeless mercenaries down south to the launch point of their sailing adventure & supply them with basic things like food? Or did they think homeless people can magically scavenge for food on a large body of water as easily as they can in a major city with lots of people & restaurants & such? ---
**Author:** ![griffin1977](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/977dab/32.png) [@griffin1977](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/griffin1977)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2025, 3:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-guys-from-texas-plan-to-conquer-and-enslave-their-own-sex-island/1025033/80 "2025-11-23T03:48:51Z")
> [@ParallelLines](#): > > , there’s no need to add a CT to make it happen I wasn’t suggesting that at all. There is no evidence that any more powerful figures were involved in this shitshow, or are about to involve themselves. I was just saying everything about this case is so on message for the current GOP, sexual violence, racism (racism against Haitians specifically), white supremacy, complete (and completely insane) incompetence [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-guys-from-texas-plan-to-conquer-and-enslave-their-own-sex-island/1025033.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-guys-from-texas-plan-to-conquer-and-enslave-their-own-sex-island/1025033.md?page=5)