# Two New Chick Tracts! Get 'em while they're hot! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [November 4, 2004, 10:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-new-chick-tracts-get-em-while-theyre-hot/273063 "2004-11-04T22:18:54Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Hunter\_Hawk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/50afbb/32.png) [@Hunter\_Hawk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hunter_Hawk)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2004, 6:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-new-chick-tracts-get-em-while-theyre-hot/273063/41 "2004-11-05T06:29:10Z")
I was pretty underwhelmed by “Squatters”, but kinda liked “The Little Bride”. I still think little Susy looks like some hentai chick, though. And “The Little Bride” did have this line: > [@Jack Chick](#): > > The Holy Ghost came upon a young virgin named Mary, and she became pregnant. Sheesh, didn’t the Holy Ghost didn’t pay attention in health class where they tell you that withdrawal is _not_ a reliable method of birth control? ---
**Author:** ![VarlosZ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/d78d45/32.png) [@VarlosZ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VarlosZ)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2004, 6:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-new-chick-tracts-get-em-while-theyre-hot/273063/42 "2004-11-05T06:37:27Z")
> [@](#): > > I’m as big a fan of Jack Chick’s lunacy as anyone here but I think he’s starting to lose it. Did anyone else notice that Jack condemns replacement theology in Squatters, a contradiction from most of his previous tracts such as Where’s Rabbi Waxman? Actually, I’d guess that new tracts are being ghost written – “Squatters,” in particular, seems to be an aberration. The narration seems much more informal. > [@](#): > > “. . . this planet that he considers **holy** – very, **very** holy.” > > “Abraham, without God’s permission, made love to the maid. _ **No problem, right?** _” > > “_ **Nothing** _ pleased the complaining mobs and they were driving poor Moses _nuts!_” > > “God sent prophets to warn them to straighten up. . .” > > “Jesus returned to heaven and set Israel _ **aside** _. It was a new ball game.” Emphasis from the original in all cases. ---
**Author:** ![PaulFitzroy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/2acd7d/32.png) [@PaulFitzroy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PaulFitzroy)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2004, 7:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-new-chick-tracts-get-em-while-theyre-hot/273063/43 "2004-11-05T07:17:31Z")
> [@](#): > > Wow Mohamed is a pedophile? Now I think I’m going to be sick… for another reason. That was low even for Jack. It is one thing to say Muslims are misinformed, but to say they follow the teachings of a pedophile? Sheesh. This guy is becoming a true turd. Muhammad, prophet of Islam, had sex with a nine year old girl when he was fifty-three. Tabari VII:7 “The Prophet married Aisha in Mecca three years before the Hijrah, after the death of Khadija. At the time she was six.” Tabari IX:131 “My mother came to me while I was being swung on a swing between two branches and got me down. My nurse took over and wiped my face with some water and started leading me. When I was at the door she stopped so I could catch my breath. I was brought in while Muhammad was sitting on a bed in our house. My mother made me sit on his lap. The other men and women got up and left. The Prophet consummated his marriage with me in my house when I was nine years old.” Jack Chick is crazy, but being crazy doesn’t mean everything you say is wrong. In this case, Chick cited a truth about the life of Muhammad. ---
**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2004, 10:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-new-chick-tracts-get-em-while-theyre-hot/273063/44 "2004-11-05T10:55:16Z")
> [@kingpengvin](#): > > I’d love to do another paradoy. That sanctomonious bitch needs a knock down of a peg or two. > > Let me at 'em. > > This time I promise no Flame thrower ending… just a good old fashioned Christian weenie roast. Here ya go, **Padeye** > **[Chick Tract Parody Thread 2004](https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=284941)** > > Well, I’ve thought about and I’m going to make an Apprentice style “executive decision” and choose my own idea. I’m going with an “Under God” theme. Outline Lil’ Susy’s class is told by Ms. Henn that they are no longer allowed to say “under God”... ---
**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2004, 10:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-new-chick-tracts-get-em-while-theyre-hot/273063/45 "2004-11-05T10:59:41Z")
:smack: Oops! Looking at the wrong poster’s name! Anyway, here it is. > **[Chick Tract Parody Thread 2004](https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=284941)** > > Well, I’ve thought about and I’m going to make an Apprentice style “executive decision” and choose my own idea. I’m going with an “Under God” theme. Outline Lil’ Susy’s class is told by Ms. Henn that they are no longer allowed to say “under God”... Stupid **Baker**. ---
**Author:** ![duffer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/duffer/32/1026_2.png) [@duffer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/duffer)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2004, 11:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-new-chick-tracts-get-em-while-theyre-hot/273063/46 "2004-11-05T11:53:46Z")
What is everyone’s obsession with bashing Chick? In the second link he says: “And the Holy Ghost came upon the Virgin Mary.” There, on, not in, she was a virgin. Jack proved it you atheistic commie pinkos! OK, I’m just fucking with everyone. Seriously, though. What fucking religion is this fruitcake espousing? Jack Chick’s Church of the Lunatics? This is only the second Chick thread I’ve checked out that **Dio** has opened. The first one I didn’t know what it was supposed to mean, and figured **DtC** just had a hair up his ass about Christians in general. As a Catholic, I stand corrected. Wow. ---
**Author:** ![Futile\_Gesture](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/f05b48/32.png) [@Futile\_Gesture](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Futile_Gesture)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2004, 12:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-new-chick-tracts-get-em-while-theyre-hot/273063/47 "2004-11-05T12:20:28Z")
> [@PaulFitzroy](#): > > Jack Chick is crazy, but being crazy doesn’t mean everything you say is wrong. In this case, Chick cited a truth about the life of Muhammad. No he didn’t. If he had stated that Mohammad had sex with a nine year old he would have been stating a truth. Instead labelled an historical event with an emotive modern definition and concept that simply didn’t exist at the time. Child brides were not uncommon in all cultures and times throughout history. In some places they’re still common. Apply modern day sensibilities to historical events is a dangerous tactic that’s liable to backfire. Many biblical heros would be considered criminals by modern standards. Fact is, by his own words even Chick’s god practiced what most would now consider illegal and immoral policies. Discrimination against illegitimate children? Check. Racial supremacy and segregation? Check. Sponsorship of genocide? Check. Religious bigotry? Check. ---
**Author:** ![Angua](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8baadc/32.png) [@Angua](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Angua)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2004, 1:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-new-chick-tracts-get-em-while-theyre-hot/273063/48 "2004-11-05T13:20:07Z")
And at this point, **Angua** runs into a corner and cries. If this is the level of hate being spewed in America about Muslims (I’m looking at both the Chick Tracts and you, **Paul Fitzroy** - you’ve been called on that particular nugget of dire misinformation before), then the world is in a sorry state. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Angua](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8baadc/32.png) [@Angua](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Angua)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2004, 1:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-new-chick-tracts-get-em-while-theyre-hot/273063/49 "2004-11-05T13:22:10Z")
And that particular instance when you decided to spout said mis-information, and were thoroughly called on it is right [here](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=281405). ---
**Author:** ![DoctorJ](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doctorj/32/2904_2.png) [@DoctorJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DoctorJ)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2004, 2:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-new-chick-tracts-get-em-while-theyre-hot/273063/50 "2004-11-05T14:08:51Z")
Just wanted to drop in with a link to my woefully unupdated Pickin’ Up Chicks: The J Train Reviews The Chick Tracts: [http://thejtrain.net/chickindex.htm](http://thejtrain.net/chickindex.htm) At my wife’s urging, I hope to have some new reviews up this weekend. ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2004, 2:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-new-chick-tracts-get-em-while-theyre-hot/273063/51 "2004-11-05T14:44:34Z")
Does Little Suzy remind anyone else of Rhoda from _The Bad Seed_? “I _had_ to kill LeRoy, mother, _he was trying to convert me to Catholocism!_” And that Squatters tract gave me the shivers, in a _Der Ewige Jude, Jud Suss_ kinda way . . . ---
**Author:** ![Papermache\_Prince](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f05b48/32.png) [@Papermache\_Prince](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Papermache_Prince)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2004, 3:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-new-chick-tracts-get-em-while-theyre-hot/273063/52 "2004-11-05T15:05:36Z")
**DoctorJ** , if it’s not too personal a question, which of the Chick female archetypes does the **Bride of DoctorJ** resemble? ---
**Author:** ![LonesomePolecat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/a88e57/32.png) [@LonesomePolecat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LonesomePolecat)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2004, 3:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-new-chick-tracts-get-em-while-theyre-hot/273063/53 "2004-11-05T15:07:48Z")
> [@DoctorJ](#): > > Just wanted to drop in with a link to my woefully unupdated Pickin’ Up Chicks: The J Train Reviews The Chick Tracts: > [http://thejtrain.net/chickindex.htm](http://thejtrain.net/chickindex.htm) > > At my wife’s urging, I hope to have some new reviews up this weekend. I notice you reproduce four panels from _The Party Girl._ You should probably be aware that the Chick company is very zealous about protecting their copyrights, and if it comes to their attorney’s attention they’ll probably have your ISP take down the page. It’s happened before. In particular, there was a hilarious parody of Chick’s tracts called \*Who Will Be Eaten First? \* which made us of Lovecraft’s Cthulhu mythos and cited various passages from Lovecraft in the same way that Chick continually cites the Bible. Unfortunately, the satirist used artwork directly from a Chick tract, and the Chickies shut him down. Personally, I think your use of those panels ought to fall under the Fair Use clause of the copyright laws, but Chick’s attorneys may not see it that way. ---
**Author:** ![PaulFitzroy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/2acd7d/32.png) [@PaulFitzroy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PaulFitzroy)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2004, 4:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-new-chick-tracts-get-em-while-theyre-hot/273063/54 "2004-11-05T16:38:49Z")
> [@](#): > > And that particular instance when you decided to spout said mis-information, and were thoroughly called on it is right here. I was not “thoroughly called on it” in any sense of the word. I was wrong about it having been in the Koran. It is in the Hadith instead, another holy scripture of Islam. The quote still stands, along with the historical information it represents. [HERE](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=281405) is the thread in which Angua wrongly and foolishly claims I was “called on” on a “dire piece of misinformation.” You can all look at it and see for yourself. By the way, Angua, anti-Muslim “hate” to quote an unadulterated and genuine passage from the scriptures of Islam. > [@](#): > > And at this point, Angua runs into a corner and cries. Good plan. I’d cry too if I admired someone who had sex a nine year old girl. ---
**Author:** ![Angua](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8baadc/32.png) [@Angua](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Angua)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2004, 5:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-new-chick-tracts-get-em-while-theyre-hot/273063/55 "2004-11-05T17:06:20Z")
> [@PaulFitzroy](#): > > I was not “thoroughly called on it” in any sense of the word. I was wrong about it having been in the Koran. It is in the Hadith instead, another holy scripture of Islam. The quote still stands, along with the historical information it represents. > > [HERE](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=281405) is the thread in which Angua wrongly and foolishly claims I was “called on” on a “dire piece of misinformation.” You can all look at it and see for yourself. > > By the way, Angua, anti-Muslim “hate” to quote an unadulterated and genuine passage from the scriptures of Islam. OK, so you weren’t called on it ‘thoroughly’. But, **Tamerlane** _does_ point out that not everyone agrees with the authenticity of the Hadith. > [@](#): > > Good plan. I’d cry too if I admired someone who had sex a nine year old girl. I cry because I fear for what the world is becoming, when “Christian” and “Islamic” values such as tolerance and love towards one’s fellow man are rapidly deteriorating. ---
**Author:** ![Angua](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8baadc/32.png) [@Angua](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Angua)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2004, 5:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-new-chick-tracts-get-em-while-theyre-hot/273063/56 "2004-11-05T17:08:39Z")
Ah fuck it. I cry because of the intolerance of this world. As would anyone. ---
**Author:** ![duffer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/duffer/32/1026_2.png) [@duffer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/duffer)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2004, 5:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-new-chick-tracts-get-em-while-theyre-hot/273063/57 "2004-11-05T17:17:23Z")
> [@Angua](#): > > I cry because I fear for what the world is becoming, when “Christian” and “Islamic” values such as tolerance and love towards one’s fellow man are rapidly deteriorating. Especially when one of the hated groups is the Catholics. Didn’t see anything about Satan being Islam incarnate. Oh, wait. Aren’t us Catholics considered Christians? Now I don’t know if I should hate myself, convert to Islam, evangalize myself. Hmmm. I might really need help here. Satan JP II and the minions of Lucifer in the Vatican must be really tempting me here. Intolerance in the world? I have major internal intolerance going on here! Right in my heart! And all you care about is yourself. Help me! Eh, on second thought, I’ll just ignore Chick’s psychotic rantings and anyone that tries to justify it. No matter what reason. Might I suggest the same? ---
**Author:** ![Angua](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8baadc/32.png) [@Angua](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Angua)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2004, 5:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-new-chick-tracts-get-em-while-theyre-hot/273063/58 "2004-11-05T17:35:19Z")
> [@duffer](#): > > Eh, on second thought, I’ll just ignore Chick’s psychotic rantings and anyone that tries to justify it. No matter what reason. Might I suggest the same? Good plan. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2004, 6:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-new-chick-tracts-get-em-while-theyre-hot/273063/59 "2004-11-05T18:19:11Z")
> [@Padeye](#): > > I’m as big a fan of Jack Chick’s lunacy as anyone here but I think he’s starting to lose it. Did anyone else notice that Jack condemns replacement theology in _Squatters_, a contradiction from most of his previous tracts such as _Where’s Rabbi Waxman?_ L’il Suzy… someone needs to put out a contract on her. Can we get OBL to do something useful for a change? What is replacement theology? You know, I’ve seen tracts dumped in the restrooms when I worked at KrapMart, but never were they as loony as Chick’s. Most of them were just, ‘Jesus loves you and wants you to join his Super Secret Club!’ or something like that. So does anyone but the looniest of loons take these things seriously? ---
**Author:** ![kimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/f0a364/32.png) [@kimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kimera)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2004, 6:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-new-chick-tracts-get-em-while-theyre-hot/273063/60 "2004-11-05T18:38:27Z")
Woah, I was just kinda skimming through it and I somehow managed to read “God loved his chosen people and fed them with manna from heaven for 40 years as they wandered in the desert.” as “God loved his chosen people and fed them with marijuana from heaven for 40 years as they wandered in the desert.” I was so confused!!! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-new-chick-tracts-get-em-while-theyre-hot/273063.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-new-chick-tracts-get-em-while-theyre-hot/273063.md?page=4)