# Two-Sentence Horror Stories **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [April 24, 2023, 2:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-sentence-horror-stories/983094 "2023-04-24T02:39:39Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 18\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Pardel-Lux](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pardel-lux/32/20182_2.png) [@Pardel-Lux](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pardel-Lux)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2023, 5:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-sentence-horror-stories/983094/81 "2023-08-24T17:36:29Z")
Two sentences, please. Don’t make me repeat that _ever again_. ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2023, 11:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-sentence-horror-stories/983094/82 "2023-09-01T11:05:08Z")
The new stricter board rules had really cut down on the number of returning trolls. And as a bonus, the moderators had shared a number of useful tips regarding the removal of bloodstains. ---
**Author:** ![Jasmine](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jasmine/32/2964_2.png) [@Jasmine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jasmine)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2023, 11:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-sentence-horror-stories/983094/83 "2023-09-01T11:12:22Z")
i suddenly awoke only to see the large silhouette of what looked like a man but not quite a man. It purposely and silently moved towards me. ---
**Author:** ![Smapti](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smapti/32/17938_2.png) [@Smapti](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smapti)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2023, 11:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-sentence-horror-stories/983094/84 "2023-09-01T11:30:42Z")
“Ah finally, I’m all alone,” I said to myself as I sat in my bedroom at midnight. “No you’re not,” said Knife Guy. ---
**Author:** ![Buck\_Godot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/buck_godot/32/6573_2.png) [@Buck\_Godot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Buck_Godot)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2023, 1:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-sentence-horror-stories/983094/85 "2023-09-01T13:14:21Z")
At long last after twelve hours of hard labour the new mother finally heard the wailing scream that let her know that her little bundle of joy had finally taken its first breath. But it was the doctor who was screaming not the baby. ---
**Author:** ![Bicycle\_Bill](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bicycle_bill/32/6208_2.png) [@Bicycle\_Bill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bicycle_Bill)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2023, 11:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-sentence-horror-stories/983094/86 "2023-09-01T23:55:58Z")
“Do you think there’s anything to eat in this forest?” “Yes,” said his companion, “us.” _ **-“BB”-** _ ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Borgia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/larry_borgia/32/156_2.png) [@Larry\_Borgia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Borgia)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2023, 12:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-sentence-horror-stories/983094/87 "2023-09-06T00:57:42Z")
An old one, from before I was born: “You’ve sealed us in!” The young man cried, as the young woman pulled the vault door shut. “No, just you,” She said, vanishing through the wall. ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2023, 1:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-sentence-horror-stories/983094/88 "2023-09-06T01:16:33Z")
The sound of a baby crying somewhere in the forest. A cougar’s snarl then silence. ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2023, 4:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-sentence-horror-stories/983094/89 "2023-09-08T16:13:41Z")
I just got the results back from one of those mail-order DNA/genealogy companies and I can’t wait to see if I’m related to royalty. MY FATHER IS **LSLGuy** , [AAAAAAAH!!](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UYK6h-bQrT8&ab_channel=BackgroundColor) 😉 🤣 ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2023, 4:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-sentence-horror-stories/983094/90 "2023-09-08T16:39:19Z")
I’ve lost all my baby teeth. Dammit - it took me _ages_ to pull them out of the skulls. ---
**Author:** ![knoodler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ccd318/32.png) [@knoodler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/knoodler)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2023, 5:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-sentence-horror-stories/983094/91 "2023-09-08T17:04:06Z")
The magistrate said I can’t babysit kids any longer. I guess I’ll have to find another way to collect more baby teeth. ---
**Author:** ![boson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/boson/32/11407_2.png) [@boson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/boson)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2023, 3:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-sentence-horror-stories/983094/92 "2023-09-27T03:55:19Z")
My ex showed up at my front door. I could see clear through her, dropped my drink, and screamed. ---
**Author:** ![themapleleaf](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/themapleleaf/32/14349_2.png) [@themapleleaf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/themapleleaf)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2024, 6:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-sentence-horror-stories/983094/93 "2024-04-16T18:52:12Z")
Donald Trump had an affair with Sarah Palin. Fast forward 60 years; under President Donnie Palin’s tenure, the USA became Margaret Atwood’s Gilead. ---
**Author:** ![Lucas\_Jackson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lucas_jackson/32/303_2.png) [@Lucas\_Jackson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lucas_Jackson)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2024, 11:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-sentence-horror-stories/983094/94 "2024-04-16T23:15:25Z")
> [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](#): > > Sherman stumbled out of the WABAC machine… I quite like this one. ETA: > [@Smapti](#): > > Add two cups vanilla extract and bake. Makes 12 cookies. I don’t understand. ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2024, 11:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-sentence-horror-stories/983094/95 "2024-04-16T23:22:53Z")
Thank you; I realized later that I kinda ripped off Malcolm McDowell’s **Time After Time** – can you envision David Warner in a Mr. Peabody cartoon? Of course, you can! ---
**Author:** ![Smapti](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smapti/32/17938_2.png) [@Smapti](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smapti)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2024, 12:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-sentence-horror-stories/983094/96 "2024-04-17T00:08:44Z")
> [@Lucas\_Jackson](#): > > I don’t understand. 2 cups of vanilla extract is a horrendously large amount for a batch of 12 cookies. ---
**Author:** ![Lucas\_Jackson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lucas_jackson/32/303_2.png) [@Lucas\_Jackson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lucas_Jackson)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2024, 3:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-sentence-horror-stories/983094/97 "2024-04-17T15:57:18Z")
Ahhhhh, I didn’t register the amounts - I just read it as ingredients. Thanks! > [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](#): > > Thank you; I realized later that I kinda ripped off Malcolm McDowell’s **Time After Time** – can you envision David Warner in a Mr. Peabody cartoon? Of course, you can! You darn right I can, ha ha. ---
**Author:** ![Saint\_Cad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/saint_cad/32/18907_2.png) [@Saint\_Cad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Saint_Cad)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2024, 4:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-sentence-horror-stories/983094/98 "2024-04-17T16:07:36Z")
He wondered why his wife was acting so strangely as they ate her risotto made with mushrooms she had hunted that day. “Honey, I saved us some money by getting a BOGO at the mortuary.” she cooed. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-sentence-horror-stories/983094.md?page=4)