# Two Sentence Stories **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [May 28, 2015, 5:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-sentence-stories/721052 "2015-05-28T17:20:08Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2015, 2:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-sentence-stories/721052/61 "2015-06-12T02:52:12Z")
“Will you love me forever, Emmaline?” I asked the most beautiful girl in the world. “I doubt it,” she said, “since I don’t even love you now.” With a tip o’ the hat to Steven Wright. ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2015, 3:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-sentence-stories/721052/62 "2015-06-12T03:45:14Z")
Porky Pig, bloody knife in hand, stood over the lifeless bodies of Bugs and Daffy and Elmer and Tweety and almost all the other characters of Warner Brothers cartoon-dom. “That’ll learn ya to make fun of speech impe-impedi-imp-difficulties,” he stuttered, jamming the blade into his throat and mumbling, “B-de, B-de, B-de, B-de, that’s all folks.” ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2015, 2:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-sentence-stories/721052/63 "2015-06-12T14:48:24Z")
My friend, the Witch Doctor, told me what to say: Oo Ee Oo Ah Ah Ting Tang Walla Walla Bing Bang. I told her this, and she married the Witch Doctor. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2015, 4:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-sentence-stories/721052/64 "2015-06-13T16:43:02Z")
I got a tattoo by myself, I bought a gun by myself, I certainly can go to the movies by myself. Who knew how wrong he’d be? Note: I heard a guy scream the first sentence into a pay phone, and it’s stuck with me. ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2015, 2:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-sentence-stories/721052/65 "2015-06-14T02:42:59Z")
That dillweed, Bobby Jones, handed me a card that said, “How do you keep an idiot busy? (over)” What do you suppose is on the other side? ---
**Author:** ![Absene\_Myth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/absene_myth/32/7322_2.png) [@Absene\_Myth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Absene_Myth)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2015, 5:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-sentence-stories/721052/66 "2015-06-17T05:30:23Z")
She was staring up at the yellow ceiling while her husband waa clipping his toe-nails. Thr repetitive sound reminded her of when her mother caught a yellow train to Chicago to get away from her Protestant father. ---
**Author:** ![swampspruce](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampspruce/32/261_2.png) [@swampspruce](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampspruce)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2015, 4:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-sentence-stories/721052/67 "2015-06-17T16:08:25Z")
“Doctor, what you’re doing is unethical and I will report you to the Committee!” “Don’t worry My Dear, by the time I finish you’ll not remember any of this and fighting the restraints and the anesthetic I gave you will only result in injuring yourself; sweet dreams.” ---
**Author:** ![Absene\_Myth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/absene_myth/32/7322_2.png) [@Absene\_Myth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Absene_Myth)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2015, 8:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-sentence-stories/721052/68 "2015-06-17T20:31:36Z")
Her Protestant father had eyes of blue and a heart of steel. The lass cried out, “Eek” and reached for something life-saving she kept in her pocket. ---
**Author:** ![Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/intergalactic_gladiator/32/112_2.png) [@Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Intergalactic_Gladiator)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2015, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-sentence-stories/721052/69 "2015-06-17T20:55:54Z")
The young woman giggled, looked at her boyfriend, and sweetly called him “funny face.” He then ran off to join the circus. ---
**Author:** ![Hopeful\_Crow](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/da6949/32.png) [@Hopeful\_Crow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hopeful_Crow)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2015, 8:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-sentence-stories/721052/70 "2015-06-17T20:58:33Z")
His wet, claustrophobic passage though the tunnel was at an end and he sloshed out of its round mouth to find himself knee-deep in a stream that flowed through a peaceful glade. Taking in the scene with relief, he said to himself, “It just goes to show that you can’t tell a brook by its culvert.” ---
**Author:** ![Norse\_Fulton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/c2a13f/32.png) [@Norse\_Fulton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Norse_Fulton)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2015, 9:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-sentence-stories/721052/71 "2015-06-17T21:06:54Z")
It was so simple to cross the river like with some easy cross stitches. He was afraid of the other side where the reeds were ambush thick like his tattered thinking. ---
**Author:** ![Absene\_Myth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/absene_myth/32/7322_2.png) [@Absene\_Myth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Absene_Myth)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2015, 10:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-sentence-stories/721052/72 "2015-06-17T22:09:47Z")
It was all abour her curds and “whey,” was it not? That blond guy looking at her had a pale blie toupee and a shirt starched harsh and scratchy. ---
**Author:** ![Norse\_Fulton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/c2a13f/32.png) [@Norse\_Fulton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Norse_Fulton)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2015, 12:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-sentence-stories/721052/73 "2015-06-18T00:26:03Z")
Blue eyed people fight the flu better. Ms. Ovaltine said so before breakfast. ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2015, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-sentence-stories/721052/74 "2015-06-18T18:17:06Z")
Ralphie waited…and waited; through the spring, the summer vacation, the fall, all the seasons with their respective holidays marching, slowly, up to the big one on December 25th. The day after Thanksgiving found him crouched behind the perfume counter in Higbee’s–official Red Ryder 200 shot carbine-action range-model air rifle gripped in his mitts–mumbling, half-hysterically, “You better have your goggles on, Santa.” ---
**Author:** ![Absene\_Myth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/absene_myth/32/7322_2.png) [@Absene\_Myth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Absene_Myth)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2015, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-sentence-stories/721052/75 "2015-06-18T18:47:36Z")
At her tender young age, Adele wondered if she should keep it minimal. Should she leave her clothes off or cut out the adjectives? ---
**Author:** ![swampspruce](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampspruce/32/261_2.png) [@swampspruce](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampspruce)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2015, 8:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-sentence-stories/721052/76 "2015-06-18T20:16:03Z")
I had set the auto pilot and we were cruising comfortably at 20 000 ft when my idiot co-pilot asked me the question that would haunt me the rest of my life. “What’s a mountain goat doing in the cloud bank ahead of us?” Thanks, Mr. Larson. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2015, 8:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-sentence-stories/721052/77 "2015-06-18T20:20:30Z")
My mom used to tell me this story when I asked for too many bedtime stories: Once there was a king and queen. They both died; end of story. ---
**Author:** ![Absene\_Myth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/absene_myth/32/7322_2.png) [@Absene\_Myth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Absene_Myth)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2015, 9:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-sentence-stories/721052/78 "2015-06-18T21:19:36Z")
My mother used to not tell me about my father. Yet, my father came home every night with tense eyes. ---
**Author:** ![Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/intergalactic_gladiator/32/112_2.png) [@Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Intergalactic_Gladiator)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2015, 3:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-sentence-stories/721052/79 "2015-06-19T15:32:29Z")
I told my doctor that I get too wound up when I take the family camping. He suggested that maybe I shouldn’t be so intense. ---
**Author:** ![swampspruce](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampspruce/32/261_2.png) [@swampspruce](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampspruce)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2015, 3:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-sentence-stories/721052/80 "2015-06-19T15:53:29Z")
That’s it , off to the punitentiary you go… 🙂 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-sentence-stories/721052.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-sentence-stories/721052.md?page=5)