# Two truths and a lie **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [February 8, 2000, 5:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-truths-and-a-lie/13646 "2000-02-08T05:49:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Sake\_Samurai](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bc79bd/32.png) [@Sake\_Samurai](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sake_Samurai)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2000, 10:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-truths-and-a-lie/13646/81 "2000-02-08T22:05:00Z")
1. Sake Samurai ate lunch with Boris Yeltsin and then proceeded to go for a ride in a T-72 main battle tank. 2. In a farcical case of mistaken identity, Sake Samurai got arrested with an Italian fashion model on a train from Munich to Milan. 3. The first successful recipiant of a baboon heart transplant was Sake Samurai. * * * Yet to be reconciled with the reality of the dark for a moment, I go on wandering from dream to dream. ---
**Author:** ![Bricker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@Bricker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bricker)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2000, 10:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-truths-and-a-lie/13646/82 "2000-02-08T22:15:00Z")
I am pleased, if somewhat chagrined, to report that Lauren Tewes did indeed once try to kick me in the crotch. The people who attended the DC DoperFest have already heard the story about being stopped for the car sign. But, amazingly, I am not a member of the Screen Actor’s Guild. - Rick ---
**Author:** ![MrKnowItAll](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mrknowitall/32/87_2.png) [@MrKnowItAll](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrKnowItAll)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2000, 10:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-truths-and-a-lie/13646/83 "2000-02-08T22:29:00Z")
I don’t know why, but it strikes me as funny that most people who posted guesses guessed that I had never gone by the name “Bo Weevil”. Sadly, 'tis true. It was my on-air name (not by choice, mind you) during my 5-year stint as a country music DJ. It was during this time period that I chatted with B.R. Cyrus, on-air of course. A small number guessed that my emergency supply of caviar was the lie, and they were right. ---
**Author:** ![Spiritus\_Mundi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c68b51/32.png) [@Spiritus\_Mundi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spiritus_Mundi)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2000, 10:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-truths-and-a-lie/13646/84 "2000-02-08T22:38:00Z")
Okay, Bricker, I;ll bite. Why did Loren Tewes once try to kick you in the crotch? Wouldn’t it have been easier for her to just screech at you in her incredibly annoying voice until blood ran freely from your eardrums? ---
**Author:** ![Dirty\_Devil](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Dirty\_Devil](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dirty_Devil)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2000, 10:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-truths-and-a-lie/13646/85 "2000-02-08T22:52:00Z")
Can I play? 1. I can be seen in three pictures on the inside and outside covers of the Grateful Dead’s “Without A Net” record. 2. As a waiter, I once followed a couple out of the restuarant, called them cheap bastards, and threw their $.23 tip at them (the bill was over $70). I was fired the next day. 3. I was once on the front page of the paper (5" x 7", full color) for a steelhead fishing article they were doing. * * * Free beer is ALWAYS a good thing. - Falcon ---
**Author:** ![Ukulele\_Ike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/df788c/32.png) [@Ukulele\_Ike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ukulele_Ike)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2000, 11:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-truths-and-a-lie/13646/86 "2000-02-08T23:06:00Z")
Ha HAH…there are NO PHOTOS of the crowd on the record cover of WITHOUT A NET! Hm. At least not on MY copy. But I have that early, eco-friendly one; I don’t even have the damn setlist marked on it. Sh\*t. I’ll still go with #1 as my choice. ---
**Author:** ![CanadianSue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/71e660/32.png) [@CanadianSue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CanadianSue)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2000, 11:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-truths-and-a-lie/13646/87 "2000-02-08T23:31:00Z")
I lied. The only wrestling I have ever done is with my 8 year old… and he generally wins. I sang for the royal family in 1970 and danced ballet for 14 years. * * * We are, each of us angels with only one wing,and we can only fly by embracing one another ---
**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2000, 12:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-truths-and-a-lie/13646/88 "2000-02-09T00:20:00Z")
> [@](#): > > Originally posted by Coldfire: > \*\*Coldfire… > > 1. did the highest bungee jump in the world; > 2. once drove 284 km/h in a Testarossa; > 3. had a beer with Mark Knopfler, of Dire Straits fame. > > \*\* 1. I did do the highest Bungee in the world. 216 meters, from the Bloukrans Bridge over the Storm River in South Africa. Don’t know if it is the highest still, but it WAS in November 1998. Excuse my French, but this KICKED ASS. 2. As a passenger in a race trim 1986 Ferrari Testarossa, I traveled at 284 TAG Heuer kilometers at the Dutch Zandvoort track. The cockpit temperature was approximately 60 degrees Celcius 😉 3. Although I have seen them live a few times, I never had a beer with Mark Knopfler. That was the lie… OK, here’s three more. Coldfire… 4. Had a couple of beers with Ray Alder, singer of Fates Warning; 5. Once French-kissed Posh Spice before she was famous; 6. Once looked a (living!) Great White in the eye at a distance of less than a meter. * * * **Coldfire** * * * _ **"You know how complex women are"** _ - Neil Peart, **Rush** (1993) ---
**Author:** ![Persephone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ecc23a/32.png) [@Persephone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Persephone)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2000, 12:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-truths-and-a-lie/13646/89 "2000-02-09T00:55:00Z")
Well, everyone appears to have guessed everyone else’s, so I’ll throw out some new ones. 1. Cristi is related to a signer of the Declaration of Independence. 2)Cristi got a hug and a kiss from blues guitar legend Buddy Guy. 3)Cristi once met Grant Goodeve, from _Eight is Enough._ * * * Changing my sig, because Wally said to, and I really like Wally, and I’ll do anything he says, anytime he says to. ---
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2000, 1:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-truths-and-a-lie/13646/90 "2000-02-09T01:02:00Z")
Hah-hah-hah-hah!!! I knew I would fool you all! Those of you who know me would know the right answer. I am a huge fan of rage against the machine. If I met Zach that would have rocked, but I didn’t. I _did_ however, high five Jason newsted, and libertarian was the only one who guessed that and he was wrong. All I can say, O ye of little faith, is that O me of little coat used to be a bouncer at a college bar called Universtiy Draft House. Whilst in college no less. At the same time, I was a bouncer at the bar across the street. This was a titty bar called Knockouts. Usually, the girls don’t do anything with the guys they work with, but some of them are pure capitalists. Others have addictions that make for a pretty interesting party if catered to. Now I know what you’re thinkin, I took advantage of a woman, but such is not the case. Actually, that’s not all I can say. If you want to have every mans fantasy bear a few things in mind. 1. It takes a lot of work and usually money. 2. The hotter the girls, preferably models or strippers, the better your chances. These narcissistic ladies love to be worshipped, the fact is that beautiful women are easier to have a one nighter with. 3. Women are nastier than men ever even think of being, for the most part, so it’s not as far fetched as you think. ## Anyway, that’s the straight dope. Noonch. _Fat Guy in a Little Coat, SDMB Self-Righteous Clique_ > [@](#): > > “And on the eighth day, God Created beer > to prevent the Irish from taking over > the Earth.” ---
**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2000, 1:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-truths-and-a-lie/13646/91 "2000-02-09T01:19:00Z")
Smick, _I_ had sex with two women too. Whilst a male fantasy, it is hardly an accomplishment that stands out. It think most people thought the ‘stripper’ bit was overdoing it a bit. My experience did not involve money. Beer and pot, however, were involved… What can I say. Young, drunk and horny. And a large house with the applicable parents on holiday in Thailand 😉 **Also** : Tell us what _Noonch_ means now, or we’ll run you off the board 😃 * * * **Coldfire** * * * _ **"You know how complex women are"** _ - Neil Peart, **Rush** (1993) ---
**Author:** ![APB9999](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8e8cbc/32.png) [@APB9999](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/APB9999)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2000, 1:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-truths-and-a-lie/13646/92 "2000-02-09T01:39:00Z")
APB has 1. Ridden an elephant through the jungles of northern Thailand. 2. Been stung by a scorpion while playing in the sand dunes of Death Valley under a full moon. 3. Narrowly escaped an 8’ brown shark while swimming out of sight of land off the Yucatan peninsula. ---
**Author:** ![Pixoid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Pixoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pixoid)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2000, 1:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-truths-and-a-lie/13646/93 "2000-02-09T01:43:00Z")
I agree with Coldfire…what the hell does “Noonch” mean?! Okay, here are my three: 1. Pix has a black belt in a martial art. 2. Pix can do a cartwheel. 3. Pix can do the splits. Guess away. * * * Have you ever _tried_ to tie a cherry stem in a knot with your tongue? ---
**Author:** ![Imthecowgodmoo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/58f4c7/32.png) [@Imthecowgodmoo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Imthecowgodmoo)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2000, 2:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-truths-and-a-lie/13646/94 "2000-02-09T02:03:00Z")
I think “Noonch” is a term Jay (as in Jay and Silent Bob from Clerks/Mallrats/Chasing Amy/Dogma fame) I thought Nugga Noonch was the correct term… could be wrong, hell, I could be way the hell off anyways, Snoochie Bootchies! * * * “People must think it must be fun to be a super genuis, But they don’t realize how hard it is to put up with all the idiots in the world.” – Calvin and Hobbes (\_\_) _/_ ---
**Author:** ![Imthecowgodmoo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/58f4c7/32.png) [@Imthecowgodmoo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Imthecowgodmoo)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2000, 2:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-truths-and-a-lie/13646/95 "2000-02-09T02:06:00Z")
cow god’s attempt to correct himself, take 1 ahem- noonch is a term used by Jay that means nothing, more like a way to say goodbye-‘later’ or 'peace out’or maybe something along the lines of cool or sweetness… something kids say just because, ya know? * * * “People must think it must be fun to be a super genuis, But they don’t realize how hard it is to put up with all the idiots in the world.” – Calvin and Hobbes (\_\_) _/_ ---
**Author:** ![TheUnforgiven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e480ec/32.png) [@TheUnforgiven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheUnforgiven)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2000, 2:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-truths-and-a-lie/13646/96 "2000-02-09T02:15:00Z")
Hmmm… I’d thought I’d take a few guesses 'cause I’m bored. Dirty Devil: 1 Coldfire: 2 Cristi: 1 APB9999: 1 Pixoid: 2 And methinks Sake Samurai thinks this game is called “3 Lies, F\*ck the truth.” But then again, I could be wrong. 🙂 If anything, 3 would be the lie. * * * “The most merciful thing in the world, I think, is the inability of the human mind to correlate all its contents.” -H.P. Lovecraft, “The Call of Cthulhu” ---
**Author:** ![WallyM7](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/b5e925/32.png) [@WallyM7](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WallyM7)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2000, 2:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-truths-and-a-lie/13646/97 "2000-02-09T02:19:00Z")
Cristi, #2 is a lie. I hope. Like, where does this guy get off giving you a hug? I want that job! * * * I don’t have to do drugs to mess up my head. I went to Catholic school. ---
**Author:** ![Bricker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@Bricker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bricker)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2000, 2:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-truths-and-a-lie/13646/98 "2000-02-09T02:39:00Z")
> [@](#): > > Originally posted by Spiritus Mundi: > **Okay, Bricker, I;ll bite. Why did Loren Tewes once try to kick you in the crotch? Wouldn’t it have been easier for her to just screech at you in her incredibly annoying voice until blood ran freely from your eardrums?** She was also doing that, but apparently that method of attack takes time. It was a few days before Halloween, October, I think in 1984. Los Angeles. The sea was angry that day, my friends. Like an old man at the deli sending back soup. But I wasn’t near the sea. I was at a restaurant in Santa Monica, with my then-girlfriend. I went to the restroom. I came back into bedlam. Somehow, my girlfriend had spilled red wine on to - you guessed it - Lauren Tewes, who was screaming that her day was ruined and that my girlfriend was a bitch. I tried to step in and restore order, but Ms. Tewes was having none of it. She tried to hit my girlfriend, I stood in her way, she tried to kick me and almost fell down. For some unknown reason, her coordination seemed to be impaired. But her command of invective was not. Her companion belatedly stepped in and drew her away. And it wasn’t until he called her “Lore,” that I figured out who I’d been dancing with. It was extremely bizarre. - Rick ---
**Author:** ![PurpleCrackwhore](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/9fc348/32.png) [@PurpleCrackwhore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PurpleCrackwhore)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2000, 2:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-truths-and-a-lie/13646/99 "2000-02-09T02:41:00Z")
the lie revealed, I have never had plactic surgery. I was married once to a p.k. and I did cook dinner for Dr. Kubler-Ross. She was a gracious and very sweet lady. * * * I really try to be good but it just isn’t in my nature! ---
**Author:** ![Ringo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/779978/32.png) [@Ringo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ringo)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2000, 2:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-truths-and-a-lie/13646/100 "2000-02-09T02:48:00Z")
Just guessing… SM - 3 M2U - 3 Swimming - 3 Angkins - 3 Opal - uh, I don’t know Mojo - 2 cmkeller - 3 SeaDiver - 1 Unforgiven - 1 Sake - 2 Dirty - 1 Coldfire - 2 Cristi - 2 APB - 2 Pix - 2 ??? For me: 1.) Margaret Mead crashed in my bed for a few days; 2.) I got a week in jail for a campfire in Colorado; 3.) I walked into a bar in 1977 and Billy Gibbons was there; he waved me over to his table and bought me drinks while we shot the shit. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-truths-and-a-lie/13646.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-truths-and-a-lie/13646.md?page=6)