# Two Weeks Without Sex - How Much Longer? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [October 24, 2001, 7:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-weeks-without-sex-how-much-longer/89276 "2001-10-24T07:04:44Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![MsWhatsit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/eb8c5e/32.png) [@MsWhatsit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsWhatsit)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2001, 2:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-weeks-without-sex-how-much-longer/89276/21 "2001-10-25T02:57:59Z")
I think a more interesting way of addressing this problem would be for you to say, “Hey, honey? I notice that I’m almost always the one to initiate sex, and I wonder if there’s a reason for that, because I’d really like it if you initiated sex some of the time.” Without divulging too many of the details of my relationship, suffice it to say that something remarkably similar to the above was spoken once between the two of us, and it helped matters immensely. The “guilty” party just hadn’t realized the other person had a problem. It sure was a lot more effective than the whole “don’t initiate sex for a long time and see how long it takes her to notice” technique, although granted, your method is a lot more fun to bet on. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2001, 3:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-weeks-without-sex-how-much-longer/89276/22 "2001-10-25T03:17:42Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by geepee \* > \*\*two weeks a long time? , heh your weak , my dry spell lasted about 5 years \*\* Pfft. Multiply that by 4:p [sub]Err, I mean, and you’ll have mine.[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2001, 3:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-weeks-without-sex-how-much-longer/89276/23 "2001-10-25T03:34:03Z")
What if she starts thinking that you just don’t want it anymore? This could backfire bigtime, bucky. ---
**Author:** ![Badtz\_Maru](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e36b37/32.png) [@Badtz\_Maru](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Badtz_Maru)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2001, 3:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-weeks-without-sex-how-much-longer/89276/24 "2001-10-25T03:35:12Z")
Oh, I’m used to dry spells. I had one from November '95 until…memory’s fuzzy…'98 I think. And then I had another lasting about a year after that. And if you count my teenage years before I lost my virginity, you have about 9 years. I didn’t get sex very often before the last couple of years. For whoever wanted chronological statistics, I’m 29, she’s 30, and we’ve been married 13 months and 9 days. During our short courtship we made the two-backed beast about six or seven times a week, after we got married this shifted to about once a week. Anyway, the timeframe can probably be narrowed significantly. Tonight she looked at me strange and then told me ‘You’ll get some this weekend’ out of the blue. ---
**Author:** ![LordDenning](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/d6d6ee/32.png) [@LordDenning](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LordDenning)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2001, 6:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-weeks-without-sex-how-much-longer/89276/25 "2001-10-25T06:57:21Z")
[hi5]Awright, Badtz!!! She caves; you win!!![/hi5] ---
**Author:** ![Metaphor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/bbce88/32.png) [@Metaphor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Metaphor)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2001, 7:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-weeks-without-sex-how-much-longer/89276/26 "2001-10-25T07:13:35Z")
Well, I highly doubt if you’d be able to make to the party. ---
**Author:** ![Venoma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/c4cdca/32.png) [@Venoma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Venoma)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2001, 12:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-weeks-without-sex-how-much-longer/89276/27 "2001-10-25T12:21:30Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by LordDenning \* > \*\*[hi5]Awright, Badtz!!! She caves; you win!!![/hi5] \*\* Caves? win? Ya know, there’s the possibility she’s NOT just doing it for his sake 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Badtz\_Maru](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e36b37/32.png) [@Badtz\_Maru](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Badtz_Maru)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2001, 3:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-weeks-without-sex-how-much-longer/89276/28 "2001-10-26T03:36:39Z")
The cloak looks beautiful…it’s from a pattern for a bard’s outfit. Can’t wait to see it in conjunction with the negligee. I went to Party Central and found an excellent mask for my costume - it’s a wolf with his tongue hanging out, wearing a beret. Cost a bit more than I wanted to spend, wife jokes I’m going to have to be a wolf every year now. I’m going to wear it with a white t-shirt with some Lucky Strikes rolled up in the sleeve, and maybe some baggy pants and suspenders. Still not sure I’ll get it even though she said I could have it…she may still be expecting me to make the first move. ---
**Author:** ![Tequila\_Mockingbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/41988e/32.png) [@Tequila\_Mockingbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tequila_Mockingbird)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2001, 3:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-weeks-without-sex-how-much-longer/89276/29 "2001-10-26T15:54:31Z")
If she says “my what big teeth you have…” more than 3 times at the party will that count as initiating something, Badtz? You can also suggest a basket of goodies like the one I carried when I was Lil’ Red for Halloween…a basket with a whip, pair of handcuffs, some KY jelly, etc. Have fun with it, and possibly set her mind working 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![ianzin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/ed655f/32.png) [@ianzin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ianzin)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2001, 11:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-weeks-without-sex-how-much-longer/89276/30 "2001-10-26T23:53:13Z")
Zilch to do with the OP… but can I come to this party please? Sounds like there’s gonna be some **fun** ladies there. ---
**Author:** ![Darkrabbit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/3be4f8/32.png) [@Darkrabbit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darkrabbit)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2001, 6:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-weeks-without-sex-how-much-longer/89276/31 "2001-10-27T06:57:06Z")
You will lose, trust me. Women are sexual camels … they just store it up somehow and can go for years without any action whatsoever. ☹ **DarkRabbit** ---
**Author:** ![Helen\_s\_Eidolon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/8edcca/32.png) [@Helen\_s\_Eidolon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Helen_s_Eidolon)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2001, 10:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-weeks-without-sex-how-much-longer/89276/32 "2001-10-27T22:28:36Z")
I’m sure your wife doesn’t think the same way that I do, but I believe **Czarcasm** could be on the right track. I know for sure that if my boyfriend tried the same thing on me (while it probably wouldn’t last as long), I’d be sure he didn’t want me because he wasn’t initiating. Good luck. :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Persephone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ecc23a/32.png) [@Persephone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Persephone)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2001, 10:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-weeks-without-sex-how-much-longer/89276/33 "2001-10-27T22:43:06Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Arden Ranger \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > \*Originally posted by Persephone \* > > \*\ ***Rysdad, Ino,** got another barstool? ☹ \*\* > > Hey, I offered! \*\* Yes, but one of the requirements for two people to have any kind of physical sex (with each other) is that they both be in the same geographical region of the country. Silly, I know, but it just seems to work better that way. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![P.W.Doodle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f14d63/32.png) [@P.W.Doodle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/P.W.Doodle)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2001, 3:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-weeks-without-sex-how-much-longer/89276/34 "2001-10-28T15:53:40Z")
Well…How was the party? Did you and your wife enjoy each other last night? Wow, I feel nosey! ;j (ok, pretend you don’t know that that is an orthadox jewish man…doesn’t it look kinda like a spider? I mean…Since we were talking Halloween Party and such… ok…ok…I **just** think it’s _cute_!) Polly _Who could never go two weeks without making love to her man, unless he had a really, really, really GOOD reason._ ---
**Author:** ![obfusciatrist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/4af34b/32.png) [@obfusciatrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/obfusciatrist)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2001, 5:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-weeks-without-sex-how-much-longer/89276/35 "2001-10-28T17:17:55Z")
The phrase “hassle me for sex” is what catches my eye. Before your experiment, how often were you hassling her into sex? Are you sure that she is enjoying it when you’ve “hassled” her into it? Or is she just going along with you? It is quite likely that you just have different sex drives, but if she’s been putting out more than she would like, then I wouldn’t be surprised if she can go for quite a while without jumping you, just living on the relief that you aren’t bringing it up everytime you’re within two feet of her. My wife and I are reasonably divergent in how often we’d like to have sex, and it has caused some big fights in the past. Over time, though, we’ve learned to live with each other without feeling pressured or neglectful. It’ll take work, though, for you and your wife to come to terms. If you go and say “I want you to initiate,” she will likely do so very soon. But then you are stuck knowing that she initiating not because she wanted to, but because you wanted her to. You have to be careful not to turn sex into a job or an obligation. ---
**Author:** ![pepperlandgirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f17d59/32.png) [@pepperlandgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pepperlandgirl)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2001, 6:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-weeks-without-sex-how-much-longer/89276/36 "2001-10-28T18:05:05Z")
I hope it worked out for you **Badtz** because that did have the huge potential to backfire. Man, I’m sure glad my husband is always up for a round because the _only_ thing that keeps me sane is sex. I don’t smoke, drink, have friends, or have a social life. If I didn’t have sex on a very regular basis, (Like, at least once a day) I may lose it. ---
**Author:** ![Estilicon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/848f3c/32.png) [@Estilicon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Estilicon)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2001, 8:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-weeks-without-sex-how-much-longer/89276/37 "2001-10-28T20:12:43Z")
I am a mentalist the exact day will be november 15 2015 I am not sure if in that day you’ll have sex or die… anyway the result is pretty much the same ---
**Author:** ![Badtz\_Maru](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e36b37/32.png) [@Badtz\_Maru](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Badtz_Maru)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2001, 4:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-weeks-without-sex-how-much-longer/89276/38 "2001-10-29T04:10:08Z")
Friday morning after I got off work, between 7:45 and 8:30 AM. I’d gone to bed, and she came in to snuggle. A few minutes into the snuggling she started kissing on my neck and that’s all she wrote - since she knows the usual effects of kissing my neck I’d say she initiated it. Party was kinda dull, at least for the first 5 or 6 Newcastle Browns I drank. The combination of ale, mead, and antihistamines (allergic to the host’s many big dogs) had me passed out inside on the couch around 1 AM. I didn’t get to wear my mask much because it made it difficult to drink and impossible to eat. ---
**Author:** ![JillGat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9fc29f/32.png) [@JillGat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JillGat)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2001, 4:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-weeks-without-sex-how-much-longer/89276/39 "2001-10-29T04:58:01Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Darkrabbit \* > \*\*You will lose, trust me. > > Women are sexual camels … they just store it up somehow and can go for years without any action whatsoever. ☹ > **DarkRabbit** \*\* Oh, bullshit. Fairy Chatmom, your situation is not “the opposite,” it’s the same thing. Women face this “wondering if they’re gonna score” dilemma with their husbands, too. I, for one, get tired of the stereotypical gender jokes. ---
**Author:** ![Corrvin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/bbce88/32.png) [@Corrvin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Corrvin)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2001, 4:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-weeks-without-sex-how-much-longer/89276/40 "2001-10-29T16:41:36Z")
**JillGat** mentions, “Women face this “wondering if they’re gonna score” dilemma with their husbands, too.” So…how in the world do people figure out how often their partner wants sex, if they don’t ask? Doesn’t anybody else just ask ahead of time? (“Hey, can I pounce you tonight, or do you need the sleep?”) No rejection problem, scheduling issues, or just plain “Woman, you already boinked me silly five times this week, I’m dehydrated and shaking.” Most guys I’ve dated have been pretty relieved to be asked instead of having me assume that they’re up and ready to go anytime. The body doesn’t always cooperate, after all. Corr [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-weeks-without-sex-how-much-longer/89276.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/two-weeks-without-sex-how-much-longer/89276.md?page=3)