# Tying a Knot in my Penis **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 26, 2005, 10:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tying-a-knot-in-my-penis/318806 "2005-08-26T22:58:04Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Jake](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f475e1/32.png) [@Jake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jake)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2005, 10:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tying-a-knot-in-my-penis/318806/1 "2005-08-26T22:58:04Z")
I’m getting on in years and find myself getting more and more incontinent. I’m thinking that if I wrap my penis in a knot (probably a half-hitch) I won’t have to pee so much. Of course I could untie it maybe 3 times daily to to Pee to prevent bladder explosion. My SO says OK as long as the knot is up toward the front. Wonder why? Curious in Cucamonga. PS also thinking about a square knot but I’m not sure about the material I have to work with. ---
**Author:** ![iamthewalrus\_3](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/258eb7/32.png) [@iamthewalrus\_3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iamthewalrus_3)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2005, 11:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tying-a-knot-in-my-penis/318806/2 "2005-08-26T23:00:20Z")
A _square_ knot?! Unless yours is the detachable kind, you’re likely to have trouble with that one. ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/22080_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2005, 11:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tying-a-knot-in-my-penis/318806/3 "2005-08-26T23:00:27Z")
Wouldn’t a clip clothespin be quicker?? ---
**Author:** ![Nic2004](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/4491bb/32.png) [@Nic2004](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nic2004)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2005, 11:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tying-a-knot-in-my-penis/318806/4 "2005-08-26T23:04:21Z")
Ya know that thing they pound into a wine cask to act as a valve? Kinda cigar-shaped with a Tee handle? Maybe, just maybe… ---
**Author:** ![Jake](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f475e1/32.png) [@Jake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jake)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2005, 11:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tying-a-knot-in-my-penis/318806/5 "2005-08-26T23:42:23Z")
I thought about a rubber band but then thought maybe the head might get gangrene. I discussed this with my other girlfriend and she said only once if it’s green. Specifally asked for a square knot though… ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2005, 12:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tying-a-knot-in-my-penis/318806/6 "2005-08-27T00:15:30Z")
Think: Alligator Clips. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2005, 12:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tying-a-knot-in-my-penis/318806/7 "2005-08-27T00:21:40Z")
No. No no no _no_. Think Super Glue. (Hey, it works on [turkey rectums](http://web.mit.edu/afs/athena.mit.edu/user/d/r/dryfoo/www/Funny-pages/turkey-butts.html)…) ---
**Author:** ![DMark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@DMark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DMark)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2005, 5:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tying-a-knot-in-my-penis/318806/8 "2005-08-27T05:26:15Z")
Not necessarily a work-safe site, but if you can tie a knot in it, you might think of auditioning for [Puppetry Of The Penis](http://www.puppetryofthepenis.com/). ---
**Author:** ![Rysdad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/7cd45c/32.png) [@Rysdad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rysdad)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2005, 11:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tying-a-knot-in-my-penis/318806/9 "2005-08-27T11:29:31Z")
I’m thinking ribbons here. They’re tension-adjustable–looser for comfort, tighter if you’re planning on attending a kegger. And, they could come in a variety of significant colors, such as: Camo - I Like to Hunt With My Buddies Rainbow - I Let My Buddy Put It On Me Black - My Buddy Died I’m sure there’s more. Be creative. ---
**Author:** ![Revtim](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/revtim/32/1042_2.png) [@Revtim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revtim)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2005, 12:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tying-a-knot-in-my-penis/318806/10 "2005-08-27T12:17:14Z")
They made adult diapers for the sole purpose of not making you have to tie granny knots in your junk. I think I’d try that route before going boy scout on the Little Rev. ---
**Author:** ![Finagle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/b19c9b/32.png) [@Finagle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Finagle)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2005, 2:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tying-a-knot-in-my-penis/318806/11 "2005-08-27T14:11:29Z")
Have you thought about a cork? Be sure not to leave home without a opener, though. It might be embarassing to have to ask perfect strangers for a corkscrew. ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2005, 2:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tying-a-knot-in-my-penis/318806/12 "2005-08-27T14:20:24Z")
“cork” “screw” ::snerk:: ---
**Author:** ![BoBettie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4af34b/32.png) [@BoBettie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BoBettie)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2005, 2:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tying-a-knot-in-my-penis/318806/13 "2005-08-27T14:24:35Z")
How about a stopcock? I’m so sorry for that. ---
**Author:** ![Tio\_Gringo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b5e925/32.png) [@Tio\_Gringo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tio_Gringo)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2005, 11:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tying-a-knot-in-my-penis/318806/14 "2005-08-27T23:54:30Z")
> [@BoBettie](#): > > How about a stopcock? > > I’m so sorry for that. Don’t _ever_ be sorry about a quip like that! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2005, 12:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tying-a-knot-in-my-penis/318806/15 "2005-08-28T00:03:19Z")
You can decrease the likelihood of leaks by elevating the open end above the bladder - just sling it over your shoulder, like I do. ---
**Author:** ![pinkfreud](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pinkfreud/32/17603_2.png) [@pinkfreud](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pinkfreud)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2005, 12:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tying-a-knot-in-my-penis/318806/16 "2005-08-28T00:03:34Z")
Sounds good to me. After all, they do call that area of the anatomy the “knotty bits.” ---
**Author:** ![Cartooniverse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cartooniverse/32/3084_2.png) [@Cartooniverse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cartooniverse)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2005, 12:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tying-a-knot-in-my-penis/318806/17 "2005-08-28T00:15:20Z")
I dunno which elicits more horror: A [shuttlecock](http://www.wlra.us/wl/wlshttle.jpg), a [stopcock](http://www.smiths-medical.medex.com/medex/images/p_stopcocks.jpg) or a three-way involving [cockatoos](http://www.birdcrazy.com/newsite/images/birds/cockatoo/triton%20cockatoo.jpg). 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Kythereia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e8c25b/32.png) [@Kythereia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kythereia)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2005, 3:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tying-a-knot-in-my-penis/318806/18 "2005-08-28T03:02:15Z")
…You’re all SICK. Sick, twisted freaks. 😉 Why knot (sorry) go with a piece of twine or fishing line? (Subsequent jokes about fishing rods, I leave to much funnier Dopers than me.) ---
**Author:** ![racer72](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/racer72/32/3075_2.png) [@racer72](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/racer72)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2005, 3:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tying-a-knot-in-my-penis/318806/19 "2005-08-28T03:55:16Z")
> [@Cartooniverse](#): > > I dunno which elicits more horror: > > A [shuttlecock](http://www.wlra.us/wl/wlshttle.jpg), > > a [stopcock](http://www.smiths-medical.medex.com/medex/images/p_stopcocks.jpg) > > or a three-way involving [cockatoos](http://www.birdcrazy.com/newsite/images/birds/cockatoo/triton%20cockatoo.jpg). > > 😉 Nah, how about a [petcock.](http://www.americanpartsdepot.com/images/920%203600A.jpg) Thread it in and relief is just a few turns of the lever away. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2005, 3:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tying-a-knot-in-my-penis/318806/20 "2005-08-28T03:58:50Z")
> [@Mangetout](#): > > You can decrease the likelihood of leaks by elevating the open end above the bladder - just sling it over your shoulder, like I do. Hee hee! I’m surprised none of you men are wincing and crossing your legs. I’m a _girl_, and this is making me cringe. Also laugh, but hey, what can you do? [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tying-a-knot-in-my-penis/318806.md?page=2)