# Typhoon Longwang - I'm Serious **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 28, 2005, 5:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/typhoon-longwang-im-serious/323887 "2005-09-28T17:54:02Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 18\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Gangster\_Octopus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a8b319/32.png) [@Gangster\_Octopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gangster_Octopus)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2005, 5:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/typhoon-longwang-im-serious/323887/1 "2005-09-28T17:54:02Z")
[http://www.weather.com/newscenter/tropical/?from=wxcenter\_news](http://www.weather.com/newscenter/tropical/?from=wxcenter_news) > [@](#): > > In the western Pacific, small but powerful Typhoon Longwang (140 mph) remains on a course toward Okinawa. Longwang is expected to be near or just south of Okinawa early Saturday U. S. time. After that, the typhoon, as a Category 3 on the Saffir-Simpson Scale, is forecast to crash into eastern mainland China, probably near or south of Shanghai. Yes, I know that category 3 /4 typhoons heading for landfall ar not laughing matters, but c’mon, you cannot say Typhhoon Longwang without smiling and doing a little high school snicker. ---
**Author:** ![Ponder\_Stibbons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ponder_stibbons/32/343_2.png) [@Ponder\_Stibbons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ponder_Stibbons)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2005, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/typhoon-longwang-im-serious/323887/2 "2005-09-28T17:56:09Z")
Oh, man. The people in Okinawa are _so_ fucked. ---
**Author:** ![Spatial\_Rift\_47](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a8b319/32.png) [@Spatial\_Rift\_47](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spatial_Rift_47)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2005, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/typhoon-longwang-im-serious/323887/3 "2005-09-28T18:47:12Z")
Really? I don’t know, I’d say that they’re screwed. ---
**Author:** ![Scissorjack](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c67d28/32.png) [@Scissorjack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scissorjack)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2005, 9:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/typhoon-longwang-im-serious/323887/4 "2005-09-28T21:01:36Z")
A hard rain’s gonna fall. ---
**Author:** ![TheOnlySaneOne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/67e7ee/32.png) [@TheOnlySaneOne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheOnlySaneOne)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2005, 4:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/typhoon-longwang-im-serious/323887/5 "2005-09-29T04:30:11Z")
I truly feel sorry for all the people whose lives are going to be ruined getting first pummeled, then drenched by Longwang. snerk ---
**Author:** ![Q.E.D](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/51bf81/32.png) [@Q.E.D](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Q.E.D)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2005, 4:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/typhoon-longwang-im-serious/323887/6 "2005-09-29T04:31:35Z")
This was covered in GQ a few days ago. The name means “Dragon King”, you pervs! ---
**Author:** ![TheOnlySaneOne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/67e7ee/32.png) [@TheOnlySaneOne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheOnlySaneOne)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2005, 4:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/typhoon-longwang-im-serious/323887/7 "2005-09-29T04:32:21Z")
> [@Q.E.D.](#): > > This was covered in GQ a few days ago. The name means “Dragon King”, you pervs! …I’ll show you a “Dragon King”. ---
**Author:** ![Scissorjack](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c67d28/32.png) [@Scissorjack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scissorjack)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2005, 6:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/typhoon-longwang-im-serious/323887/8 "2005-09-29T06:27:50Z")
> [@TheOnlySaneOne](#): > > …I’ll show you a “Dragon King”. That’s a skink. ---
**Author:** ![Anastasaeon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/73ab20/32.png) [@Anastasaeon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anastasaeon)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2005, 6:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/typhoon-longwang-im-serious/323887/9 "2005-09-29T06:52:24Z")
I don’t know if I could handle a Longwang. ---
**Author:** ![MEBuckner](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mebuckner/32/2896_2.png) [@MEBuckner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MEBuckner)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2005, 8:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/typhoon-longwang-im-serious/323887/10 "2005-09-29T08:55:52Z")
> [@weather.com](#): > > …small but powerful Typhoon Longwang… Hey, baby, it’s not the size, it’s the windspeed that matters. ---
**Author:** ![Anastasaeon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/73ab20/32.png) [@Anastasaeon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anastasaeon)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2005, 9:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/typhoon-longwang-im-serious/323887/11 "2005-09-29T09:01:56Z")
> [@MEBuckner](#): > > Hey, baby, it’s not the size, it’s the windspeed that matters. _faints_ ---
**Author:** ![Madd\_Maxx](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Madd\_Maxx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Madd_Maxx)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2005, 11:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/typhoon-longwang-im-serious/323887/12 "2005-09-29T11:47:47Z")
Is that a dragon king in your pocket or are you just happy to see me? There is also a blowjob joke in there somewhere. ---
**Author:** ![Scissorjack](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c67d28/32.png) [@Scissorjack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scissorjack)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2005, 12:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/typhoon-longwang-im-serious/323887/13 "2005-09-29T12:10:00Z")
Well, they’re forecasting a good 10". ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2005, 2:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/typhoon-longwang-im-serious/323887/14 "2005-09-29T14:05:06Z")
If a typhoon happened in ancient Rome, would Thee Olde Weather Channel call it **Biggus Dickus**? ---
**Author:** ![Honey](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/honey/32/5074_2.png) [@Honey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Honey)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2005, 2:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/typhoon-longwang-im-serious/323887/15 "2005-09-29T14:18:41Z")
> [@Case Sensitive](#): > > Well, they’re forecasting a good 10". Yeah, but that’s a male forecaster. They’ll get 5" at most. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![CynicalGabe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/3e96dc/32.png) [@CynicalGabe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CynicalGabe)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2005, 5:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/typhoon-longwang-im-serious/323887/16 "2005-09-29T17:01:28Z")
> [@Shirley Ujest](#): > > If a typhoon happened in ancient Rome, would Thee Olde Weather Channel call it **Biggus Dickus**? BWAHAHA! If the people of Okinawa are lucky, Longwang could run out of steam and dump its whole load prematurely. ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2005, 9:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/typhoon-longwang-im-serious/323887/17 "2005-09-29T21:06:29Z")
Is it a Category Foreskin? ---
**Author:** ![Scissorjack](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c67d28/32.png) [@Scissorjack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scissorjack)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2005, 9:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/typhoon-longwang-im-serious/323887/18 "2005-09-29T21:07:51Z")
> [@Honey](#): > > Yeah, but that’s a male forecaster. They’ll get 5" at most. 😉 Don’t worry, **Honey** , we can try again later.