# Uekte: You are a fuckface of the highest order **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [June 12, 2002, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/uekte-you-are-a-fuckface-of-the-highest-order/113693 "2002-06-12T19:19:23Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 7
**Author:** ![Morbo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/morbo/32/389_2.png) [@Morbo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morbo)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2002, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/uekte-you-are-a-fuckface-of-the-highest-order/113693/121 "2002-06-13T19:14:46Z")
Gaaah!! See what happens when you only post from the office? What a piece of work this guy is. I love it how he refuses to ackowledge that I wasn’t lying. Classic. Still, I gotta admit that I’d be pretty bummed out if I had neighbors like that. Nobody in my hood cares about loud music, nor do they get pissed when you shoot baskets, ferchrissakes. And no way in **hell** would getting a ball out of my neighbors’ yards as a kid been considered tresspassing by anyone, nor did my parents consider me going to retrieve it a sign of bad upbringing. But all that aside, no doubt about the fact that this kid is a Grade A imbecile. **Andros** - I wager that he lurks for a few months, then resurfaces and tries to spread the same crap in a new GD thread, only to be beaten down, to which he’ll start his “yes man” persecution and flame out again. **Flodnak** - PLEASE tell me you’re kidding. That made my day! 😃 Anybody got a cigar? 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![World\_Eater](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f04885/32.png) [@World\_Eater](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/World_Eater)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2002, 8:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/uekte-you-are-a-fuckface-of-the-highest-order/113693/122 "2002-06-13T20:00:34Z")
{b]Andros\*\* gimmie $20 that he’s a sock. ---
**Author:** ![Esprix](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/esprix/32/7899_2.png) [@Esprix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esprix)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2002, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/uekte-you-are-a-fuckface-of-the-highest-order/113693/123 "2002-06-13T20:01:30Z")
“Fucko off” still cracks me up. Esprix ---
**Author:** ![Squish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8797f3/32.png) [@Squish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Squish)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2002, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/uekte-you-are-a-fuckface-of-the-highest-order/113693/124 "2002-06-13T20:10:37Z")
**Canyon Surfer** , you’ve made some good points as to how **Uetke** could improve his attitude and make peace with his neighbors. The trouble is, he doesn’t want to make peace. He doesn’t want to broaden his viewpoint. This is a jerk who suggested rounding up everybody over a certain age and putting them in concentration camps, fer cryin’ out loud. **Dooku** , > [@](#): > > **And no way in hell would getting a ball out of my neighbors’ yards as a kid been considered tresspassing by anyone, nor did my parents consider me going to retrieve it a sign of bad upbringing.** Well, the way I was brought up, it would have been. More than likely, no one would have called the police, but technically it is trespassing. Yes, I’ve been marched over to a neighbor’s house a few times to apologize for being disrepectful, for picking their flowers or fruit without asking permission first, that sort of thing. I was mortified at the time, but it taught me a lesson: that it’s better to _ask_ first. Again, what is so bloody gods-damned hard about saying, “Mr. So-and-So, our ball went into your yard. Can we get it back, please?” I think **Uetke** and the “crazy old neighbor” would have been on better terms if **Uetke** had taken that one simple step. I’ll admit, I’m old-fashioned. So far, it’s worked for me. My sister is a tomboy, a jet-engine mechanic, a Vietnam vet, and pretty much a rough-and-tumble sort of woman; yet we both automatically say, “Please,” “Thank you,” “Sir,” “Ma’am,” and “If you wouldn’t mind–?” In my observation, we get better treatment from the people we encounter _because_ we were taught how to be polite and civil and respect other people. My advice to **Uetke** , if he had shown any signs of wanting it, would be to go around to those neighbors with whom he’s had trouble and open a dialogue by saying, “I know we’ve had problems in the past, and I wish it wasn’t that way. My roommates and I will try to be more considerate. The next time we’re being too loud, could you please give us a phone call before you call the police? We’d appreciate it.” Once he’s on better terms with his neighbors, maybe he and his friends can help them fix up their houses and yards, so that if his roommate still wants to sell his house, he can ask more for it (although I still am inclined to believe that it’s the bad reputation of **Uetke** and the others that’s dragging the property values down, and not the condition of his neighbors’ houses. Old houses that need a little ‘fix-up’ are usually highly sought after by first-time home buyers). ---
**Author:** ![Squish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8797f3/32.png) [@Squish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Squish)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2002, 8:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/uekte-you-are-a-fuckface-of-the-highest-order/113693/125 "2002-06-13T20:34:19Z")
Oh, I forgot: **Dooku** , I guess I should explain why I feel the way I do about property rights and trespassing, so you know where I’m coming from. I grew up in very rural Pennsylvania (the common joke is, “nothing up there but bears and trees”). Farmers there hunt on their property. In order to hunt, they are required to ‘post’ their property; this involves nailing up large signs around their property line, a specified number of feet apart, that say in big red letters, “No Trespassing.” This is to prevent somebody accidentally wandering onto your property and accidentally getting shot by a hunter. Also, this is a pretty isolated area and someone coming onto your property without permission may be coming to steal or to hurt you. This happened twice to us; both times my father was away and my mother drove them off with a deer rifle. When I was in elementary school, we moved to Phoenix and to typical working-class/middle-class neighborhood. People were very proud of their homes and gardens, and my parents taught us to respect that. I remember quite clearly getting in trouble for pulling roses off a neighbor’s bushes; I was taken to her house to apologize, shaking in shame and fear. She was very nice and told me that the next time I wanted a rose to ask her and she would clip one for me, but that just pulling them off could damage the plant. I’m not saying that kids are horrible for going to retrieve a toy, but that they should have asked before going onto their neighbor’s property. We’re only hearing **Uekte’s** side here. We don’t know if he simply darted into a driveway or onto some grass to pick up the ball, or whether he and his friends were trampling flower beds, climbing onto fences or breaking hedges. My assessment of his parents’ child-rearing skills is based on limited evidence, I fully admit: **Uekte** shows a tendency toward sociopathic behaviour, and his parents did not themselves drive the little sister to the doctor/hospital or approach the emergency personnel who were next door and ask how soon she could be taken to a hospital. Yeah, the kid was scared; why couldn’t her mother or father comfort her enough to get over her fear and assure her that she’d be fine? ---
**Author:** ![Morbo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/morbo/32/389_2.png) [@Morbo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morbo)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2002, 9:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/uekte-you-are-a-fuckface-of-the-highest-order/113693/126 "2002-06-13T21:11:21Z")
Point taken, **Squish**. I grew up in a suburb of St. Louis, (Clayton), and going into the neighbor’s yard to get a whiffle ball or whatever was no big deal at all. We would never have thought about knocking on the door first, we just walked over there, got the ball, and walked back into our yard. Other kids did the same thing in our yard. I imagined Uekte doing something similar, and getting harrassed by his neighbor, so I sympathized. His current neighbors didn’t sound too cool either, so I sympathized there too. That, of course, is where the sympathy ended. **Canyon Surfer** , the reason I started this thread was b/c I was trying to legitimately help Uekte in GQ, and he gave me a totally uncalled for smart-ass reply. I searched his other posts to see if was a one-time thing or not. If it was, I would have let it go, probably with no more than a smart-ass reply of my own in that GQ thread. But when I read some of his other posts, well…Pit threads have been started for far less vitriol than that. Further, **any** thought I may have had about jumping his shit too early went away the minute I read his GD thread “A proposed solution to the old people problem” - the title **alone** was so rich with nonsense and hate I could hardly believe it. Read that thread and get back to us. I see your point, but in this case I don’t agree that we should have simply offered constructive advice. ---
**Author:** ![Canyon\_Surfer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Canyon\_Surfer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Canyon_Surfer)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2002, 9:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/uekte-you-are-a-fuckface-of-the-highest-order/113693/127 "2002-06-13T21:47:42Z")
**Dooku** I did read some of the other outpourings from **Uekte** and that was partly the reason for my comments. This sounds like someone who has serious problems. I don’t agree in any way with the comments he makes about older people and I must admit that when I read the OP of this thread it made my blood boil. He needs help before his obsession causes him so much stress that it becomes something more than a verbal outlet on a message board. Maybe I’m getting too old for this. 😕 ---
**Author:** ![Algernon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a183cd/32.png) [@Algernon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Algernon)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2002, 10:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/uekte-you-are-a-fuckface-of-the-highest-order/113693/128 "2002-06-13T22:02:11Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by andros \* > **Fred**!! You have spaces! Congratulations! In the midst of reading this train wreck, I had to laugh at this post because I had the identical reaction when I saw **grim’s** newly formed name. I always mentally translated “grimspectreofreddeath” as intended and was puzzled when some dopers referred to him/her as “fred”. I finally saw where that came from. A clear case of seeing what we expect to see. Or not seeing what we don’t expect to see. Much like **Uetke** as a matter of fact. ---
**Author:** ![DMC](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dmc/32/18049_2.png) [@DMC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DMC)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2002, 12:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/uekte-you-are-a-fuckface-of-the-highest-order/113693/129 "2002-06-14T00:09:32Z")
Little Uekte McBoing Boing A prick of the type, fuckoing koing. Bopped an old lady dead 'cause he’s fuckoed in the head, now to hell he soon will be going going. Gotcha ya! ---
**Author:** ![Stoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stoid/32/272_2.png) [@Stoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stoid)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2002, 1:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/uekte-you-are-a-fuckface-of-the-highest-order/113693/130 "2002-06-14T01:50:16Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Uekte \* > \*\* So when I suggest that old people are causing problems in this country, I KNOW what I’m talking about. Are they all the same? YES, they are. All of them. Every single goddamn waste of life over 60 years old is exactly the same, and nothing you say or do is going to make me believe otherwise. \*\* :smack: And absolutely nothing you have said or could say, after saying this, is worth a shit. (note that the smack smiley has many uses… not just “boy am I an idiot” it is also good for “I can’t believe what an idiot YOU are.”) No one who says something this astonishingly stupid could possibly have anything remotely meaningful or intelligent to add to it. By the way, exactly how do you plan to avoid having the 60-Year-Old-Jerk chip implanted in your head when the time comes? :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![D\_Odds](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/d_odds/32/2882_2.png) [@D\_Odds](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/D_Odds)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2002, 4:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/uekte-you-are-a-fuckface-of-the-highest-order/113693/131 "2002-06-14T04:29:41Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Squish \* > \*\*My assessment of his parents’ child-rearing skills is based on limited evidence, I fully admit: **Uekte** shows a tendency toward sociopathic behaviour, and his parents did not themselves drive the little sister to the doctor/hospital or approach the emergency personnel who were next door and ask how soon she could be taken to a hospital. Yeah, the kid was scared; why couldn’t her mother or father comfort her enough to get over her fear and assure her that she’d be fine? \*\* I interpreted this passage differently: > [@](#): > > We lived in a small town, with not very many police/fire resources. When I was in the 6th grade, he called the ambulance and DEMANDED that they come over and deal with his swollen finger or whatever, while at the same time my sister broke her arm and was sitting there, waiting for the ambulance that he had tied up with his bullshit. When I told him about that a few days later, he laughed his ass off - LAUGHED in my face when I told him about my sister. This strikes me as happening at two different places, not just walk next door. If I got hurt in school and needed a parent, I was shit out of luck - 45 minutes at the earliest (and only if my aunt was home). And my experience with retrieving items from neighbors’ yards was similar to **Dooku’s** , _as long as you respected the yard_. Go get it, get back out. Still, the twerp’s a loser, and certainly his opinions are not to be taken seriously (unless at the end of a firearm). ---
**Author:** ![waterj2](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/858c86/32.png) [@waterj2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/waterj2)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2002, 4:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/uekte-you-are-a-fuckface-of-the-highest-order/113693/132 "2002-06-14T04:49:46Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by D\_Odds \* > In my bro-in-law’s neighborhood, leaves get raked to the street to be picked up by the town. Makes Thanksgiving parking a bitch, but otherwise there is not a lot of street parking. I could see them getting upset if all the raked leaves are scattered by joy riders back to the lawns. > > Sounds like a typical bad neighbor. They don’t necessarily have to be old, just bitter. Nearly everyone is alloted one per lifetime. _uetke_ may have gotten some overflow. I spent one summer at my grandmother’s. It was in a retirement community. > > Still takes an complete, utter ass to swing the brush strokes so broadly. You got issues, **kid**. Message boards are not where you should turn for help. Uh, the last paragraph wasn’t directed at me was it? ---
**Author:** ![Ashtar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9fc29f/32.png) [@Ashtar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ashtar)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2002, 4:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/uekte-you-are-a-fuckface-of-the-highest-order/113693/133 "2002-06-14T04:53:10Z")
_Ashy runs in with a box of candy and a soft drink_ Was I too late? -dang- it! Oh well–at least I made it before my favorite part–when the mighty Moderator, wielding the sacred Banhammer, doth smite the evil troll from this virtual voil. ---
**Author:** ![Measure\_for\_Measure](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/measure_for_measure/32/557_2.png) [@Measure\_for\_Measure](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Measure_for_Measure)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2002, 4:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/uekte-you-are-a-fuckface-of-the-highest-order/113693/134 "2002-06-14T04:55:42Z")
_And absolutely nothing you have said or could say, after saying this, is worth a shit._ Well, I accept retractions. ---
**Author:** ![Silentgoldfish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e36b37/32.png) [@Silentgoldfish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silentgoldfish)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2002, 5:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/uekte-you-are-a-fuckface-of-the-highest-order/113693/135 "2002-06-14T05:29:03Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Algernon \* > \*\* In the midst of reading this train wreck, I had to laugh at this post because I had the identical reaction when I saw **grim’s** newly formed name. > > I always mentally translated “grimspectreofreddeath” as intended and was puzzled when some dopers referred to him/her as “fred”. I finally saw where that came from. A clear case of seeing what we expect to see. Or not seeing what we don’t expect to see. > Much like **Uetke** as a matter of fact. \*\* [hijack] I’ve been wondering what happened to alan for a while now… [/hijack] ---
**Author:** ![D\_Odds](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/d_odds/32/2882_2.png) [@D\_Odds](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/D_Odds)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2002, 2:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/uekte-you-are-a-fuckface-of-the-highest-order/113693/136 "2002-06-14T14:08:57Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by waterj2 \* > \*\* > Uh, the last paragraph wasn’t directed at me was it? \*\* Nope, at the OP - the guy who said “I ain’t a teen no more…I’m an all grown up 23” (ok, not a direct quote, but it could have been) 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![milquetoast](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/258eb7/32.png) [@milquetoast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/milquetoast)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2002, 3:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/uekte-you-are-a-fuckface-of-the-highest-order/113693/137 "2002-06-14T15:35:24Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Beadalin \* > \*\*Preach it! During foreplay, my husbands cock just won’t shut up! It’s “I know more than you about this” and “I know more than you about that.” Yada yada yada. \*\* Dammit, **Beadalin** , I just spit coffee all over my keyboard. And on top of that, I’m going to have to go home tonight and explain to my cock why I’m laughing at another man’s cock. My cock just get’s so jealous. The ass chewin’ I get just for looking at another man’s cock…:rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![TheLoadedDog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/35a633/32.png) [@TheLoadedDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheLoadedDog)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2002, 6:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/uekte-you-are-a-fuckface-of-the-highest-order/113693/138 "2002-06-15T06:50:19Z")
C’mon guys, **Uekte** is just _rehearsing_ being juvenile, so he’ll have his act down pat in thirty-seven years’ time when he gets the knock on the door: * * * **Govt guys in suits:** Good morning, sir. Our records show you’re over sixty. You’ll have to come with us. **Uekte:** Over sixty? Do I act like a person over sixty? Yo, chill _dood_ -and fucko off… …asshole. * * * **Uekte** , I’d say “grow up”, but it’s already been said. To you, I merely say, “get old”. ---
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2002, 8:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/uekte-you-are-a-fuckface-of-the-highest-order/113693/139 "2002-06-15T08:21:35Z")
My take on the yard/toy/tresspassing thing. If it is an unfenced yard, I can see going in without asking. If you have to go into a fenced yard, you had better ask first or it’s just plain RUDE whatever it may be legally. I find it interesting that Uekte thinks that his anecdotal evidence is proof positive that everyone is that way, while none of our anecdotal evidence is worth shit. What is so hard to understand about the concept that “some people suck” and “some people don’t”? My father in law is over 60 and he not only drives but he runs several miles a day, travels a lot, and is a hell of a lot healthier than I am. He is also the nicest guy you’ll ever meet. ---
**Author:** ![Largo62](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/45deac/32.png) [@Largo62](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Largo62)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2002, 11:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/uekte-you-are-a-fuckface-of-the-highest-order/113693/140 "2002-06-15T23:53:34Z")
You are to be commended, **Canyon Surfer** , for your kindness of spirit. If **Uetke** had shown a minute speck of kindness in his attitude himself, I think more of us would have tried to be helpful. But clearly, he would not listen to any positive suggestions we had for him. He hasn’t posted since before you did, but I’d bet he’s been lurking and knows about it. And **Canyon Surfer** , your parable was right on point. That said: Some quotes from **Uetke** , and some responses from a geezer (I’ll be past the age he thinks makes everybody useless in four months): ## quote:\*\* In the case of old people, they should absolutely have their resources taken away for better use. What good is it for a society to allow them to live in their huge houses, waiting to die, while the land all around is being used to create better living spaces for society as a whole? At a certain age it should reach a point where they should be isolated, and their resources used for the betterment of the rest of the population. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------\*\* Yeah, right! So let’s elect you to allocate resources to the _worthy_ people. Obviously in your 23 years of existence you have become infinitely wise, having eschewed the teaching of any of those elders in favor of your own warped philosophy. ## quote:\*\* They should not be allowed to drive AT ALL after age 60. Let them ride public transportation for free, but get them the hell off the roads. Over 60 drivers are a public nuisance. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------\*\* Why don’t you wrap your snarly lips around my tailpipe and take a deep drag? I haven’t had a ticket of any kind in almost as long as you’ve been alive. I’m a safe and careful driver, who drives a small car at speeds that neither obstruct anyone nor attract the police. ## Quote: \*\* So when I suggest that old people are causing problems in this country, I KNOW what I’m talking about. Are they all the same? YES, they are. All of them. Every single goddamn waste of life over 60 years old is exactly the same, and nothing you say or do is going to make me believe otherwise. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------\*\* Waste of life, eh, you misbegotten, slug-sucking, pig-felching pubic parasite. My mother died ten years ago at 73, and she should have had additionally at least the 23 years some cosmic incompetent allotted to you so far. Where you get the idea that you are worthy of your next breath is a mystery to me. Your own parents should have drowned you at birth. And look up the word “sycophant” will ya? Obviously you don’t know what it means…or you haven’t lurked in these boards nearly as much as you claim you have. Whom do you think we are all sucking up to? Each other? **BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!** We may try to be polite (except in the Pit sometimes), but nobody here is servile or seeking favor of anybody else. We just have a hard time suffering fools like you gladly, or even quietly. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/uekte-you-are-a-fuckface-of-the-highest-order/113693.md?page=6) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/uekte-you-are-a-fuckface-of-the-highest-order/113693.md?page=8)