# Ug. Maybe Media DOES want women to be too skinny.
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ug-maybe-media-does-want-women-to-be-too-skinny/402492
**Category:** The BBQ Pit
**Created:** [May 2, 2007, 5:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ug-maybe-media-does-want-women-to-be-too-skinny/402492 "2007-05-02T17:19:05Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 8
### Author:  [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)
#### Post date: [May 4, 2007, 4:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ug-maybe-media-does-want-women-to-be-too-skinny/402492/141 "2007-05-04T16:39:31Z")
[QUOTE=alice\_in\_wonderland]
I have to add a couple of things:
1. Non thigh touching girls always tended to look a bit bow-legged to me - not unattractive, just bow-legged. I always assumed they were good horse-women.
2. **Kalhoun** , you’re coming accross as surprisingly shirll and obnoxious in this thread. Not sure why, but if you look to **Indygrrl** she had the same opinion, did a cursory amount of research and concluded that small woman can still have thighs that touch. That you’re now coming in talking about the “fat” girls being hos, and thighs that touch “chaffing,” is surprisingly mean spirited.
FWIW, my thighs touch, and do not chaff.
[/QUOTE]
I realize that. However, if MY thighs touch, I’m no longer thin. That’s what we’re talking about.
No chastising her for bringing up the “thin girls are sluts” thing? :rolleyes:
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### Author:  [@DianaG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DianaG)
#### Post date: [May 4, 2007, 4:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ug-maybe-media-does-want-women-to-be-too-skinny/402492/142 "2007-05-04T16:45:32Z")
[QUOTE=Kalhoun]
No chastising her for bringing up the “thin girls are sluts” thing? :rolleyes:
[/QUOTE]
That might be because she acknowledged in the same breath that it was stupid.
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### Author:  [@Rubystreak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rubystreak)
#### Post date: [May 4, 2007, 4:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ug-maybe-media-does-want-women-to-be-too-skinny/402492/143 "2007-05-04T16:48:27Z")
[QUOTE=Kalhoun]
No more smug or ridiculous than your ranting on about my opinion of someone’s thighs. I never said everyone needs to have thinner thighs. I said I prefer my thighs thin and I don’t think MM’s thighs are attractive in that photo. Get a grip.
[/quote]
You get a grip-- you’re the one suggesting Marilyn Monroe is so fat compared to you. I’m just calling you on it.
> [@](#):
>
> In your experience, thin women with non-touching thighs were considered sluts. You just said so, remember?
> You’re the one who began equating body type with sexual activity in this thread; not me.
WRONG. I mentioned that the gap you so admire is not admired by everyone. I also said that was absurd bullshit with no correlation, just like thighs touching has no real correlation to fatness. YOU are the one saying the fat girls are sluts. I’m disagreeing with that nonsense.
> [@](#):
>
> Your thinly veiled accusation that thin women are sluts might have brought some of that shit to you, don’t you think? I never said anything about your thighs. I said \*I don’t care \* if they’re fat or thin. Take a reading comprehension class.
Really, it’s you who can’t read, because I said:
> [@Rubystreak](#):
>
> Personally, I think it’s of little relevance per se if a person’s thighs touch WRT whether or not that person is fat OR if that person is promiscuous; both are equally fucking absurd assertions based on just that information IMO.
Read that again, slowly, and you’ll see that I’m NOT saying that. You, however, said:
> [@Kalhoun](#):
>
> The skinny girls may have been assumed to be sluts, but the fat chicks in my neighborhood were the ones who were the most promiscuous.
YOU are the one making a correlation, NOT me. I don’t expect you to admit it or anything, but I think I’ve amply demonstrated that it is you calling people sluts, not me.
> [@](#):
>
> Jesus. Settle down. I don’t give a flying fuck about your thighs or any other woman’s.
Oh bullshit, you came into this thread and favorably compared yourself to Marilyn Monroe.
> [@](#):
>
> Now take your righteous indignation and accusations and get out of my face, you pathetic head case.
You’re the one who’s a head case if you feel the need to denigrate the obvious beauty of Marilyn Monroe so that you can feel superior. LAME. You don’t like being called out on your self-aggrandizing, hateful nonsense, but I think it’s clear who’s the nutcase here. Look in the mirror, admire your better-than-Marilyn thighs, and you’ll have your answer.
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### Author:  [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)
#### Post date: [May 4, 2007, 4:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ug-maybe-media-does-want-women-to-be-too-skinny/402492/144 "2007-05-04T16:53:59Z")
[QUOTE=Kalhoun]
No chastising her for bringing up the “thin girls are sluts” thing? :rolleyes:
[/QUOTE]
a) she didn’t say “thin girls are sluts”
b) back in the day the boys in my schools said the same thing (ie, if a girl had a space between her legs it was from so much sex she couldn’t get them together anymore, etc); however, they also said that girls with boobs were sluts, girls who wore ankle bracelets were sluts, girls with a gap between their front teeth were sluts, etc. Honestly I think it was wishful thinking on the part of the boys. Sadly I had none of those characteristics and thus never got asked out on dates.
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### Author:  [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)
#### Post date: [May 4, 2007, 5:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ug-maybe-media-does-want-women-to-be-too-skinny/402492/145 "2007-05-04T17:08:59Z")
[QUOTE=alice\_in\_wonderland]
a) she didn’t say “thin girls are sluts”
[/QUOTE]
Oh, come on…not-so-thinly veiled. The message was clear:
> [@](#):
>
> When I was a teenager, girls whose thighs didn’t touch were mocked. It was called “having a gap” or being gap-legged; it meant that she was a slut who got fucked until she couldn’t keep her legs closed, and was considered unattractive.
and
> [@](#):
>
> The shapely girls? They don’t have gaps, remember? It’s only the thin ones. So maybe where I came from, it was the skinny girls who were considered more likely to be promiscuous. And this was as likely to be said by guys as girls,
The comment had no place in the discussion.
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### Author:  [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)
#### Post date: [May 4, 2007, 5:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ug-maybe-media-does-want-women-to-be-too-skinny/402492/146 "2007-05-04T17:23:20Z")
[QUOTE=Kalhoun]
The comment had no place in the discussion.
[/QUOTE]
Perhaps, but your comments didn’t either. There’s no love lost between **Rubystreak** and myself - if she makes a snarky comment it’s practically expected. I was (and still am) surprised by your comments though. Like I said, they seem surprisingly mean spirited coming from you.
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### Author:  [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)
#### Post date: [May 4, 2007, 5:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ug-maybe-media-does-want-women-to-be-too-skinny/402492/147 "2007-05-04T17:26:27Z")
[QUOTE=Rubystreak]
You get a grip-- you’re the one suggesting Marilyn Monroe is so fat compared to you. I’m just calling you on it.
[/quote]
No, just her arms and thighs.
> [@](#):
>
> WRONG. I mentioned that the gap you so admire is not admired by everyone. I also said that was absurd bullshit with no correlation, just like thighs touching has no real correlation to fatness. YOU are the one saying the fat girls are sluts. I’m disagreeing with that nonsense.
Yeah, that’s a big news flash. People aren’t attracted to all different kinds. :rolleyes: You brought up the fact that some people thought slim girls were sluts; not me. It had no place in the conversation except to make the less-than-slim girl feel somewhat superior to the thin sluts. It wasn’t a comment on how attractive or unattractive they looked; you tied promiscuity to it.
> [@](#):
>
> Oh bullshit, you came into this thread and favorably compared yourself to Marilyn Monroe.
Just my thighs and arms. In some pictures. I’m sure the Ghost Of MM thinks you’re just swell for defending her, though.
> [@](#):
>
> You’re the one who’s a head case if you feel the need to denigrate the obvious beauty of Marilyn Monroe so that you can feel superior. LAME. You don’t like being called out on your self-aggrandizing, hateful nonsense, but I think it’s clear who’s the nutcase here. Look in the mirror, admire your better-than-Marilyn thighs, and you’ll have your answer.
I don’t care how big a shrine you think MM deserves. The fact that I don’t agree with it is perfectly valid.
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### Author:  [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)
#### Post date: [May 4, 2007, 5:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ug-maybe-media-does-want-women-to-be-too-skinny/402492/148 "2007-05-04T17:27:32Z")
[QUOTE=alice\_in\_wonderland]
Perhaps, but your comments didn’t either. There’s no love lost between **Rubystreak** and myself - if she makes a snarky comment it’s practically expected. I was (and still am) surprised by your comments though. Like I said, they seem surprisingly mean spirited coming from you.
[/QUOTE]
I was just striking back at an obvious dis. Her opinion means nothing to me.
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### Author:  [@anu-la1979](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/anu-la1979)
#### Post date: [May 4, 2007, 5:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ug-maybe-media-does-want-women-to-be-too-skinny/402492/149 "2007-05-04T17:31:28Z")
This whole thread is sad on so many levels-I never heard the gap-legged promiscuity comments growing up, although I find them incredibly offensive. I don’t think gap legs look “ugly” but I don’t think touching thighs look ugly either and I strongly object to either one of those being held up as a standard of beauty or even worse _thinness_ or fitness. “Oh my gaw, ‘er thighs are touchin’! What a porker!”
Even worse is the assertion that “skipping meals” in any way shape or form resembles a proper diet. That just makes me want to bang my head against the wall.
Perhaps, **Kalhoun** , none of the women in this thread will be affected by what you say, but the chances that your own daughter (if you have one) would be/was affected by statements like “I’d take her lunch away for a month!” is pretty high.
> [@](#):
>
> You brought up the fact that some people thought slim girls were sluts; not me. It had no place in the conversation except to make the less-than-slim girl feel somewhat superior to the thin sluts.
You’re still equating non-touching thighs as evidence of slimness but everyone else with touching thighs as fatty mcfatersons. There could have been plenty of thin mean girls who said said statement about heavier gap legged girls. This just points to what everyone in this thread is saying-no matter how much you claim it’s just a standard you’re applying to yourself-you really are applying it to everyone as a gauge of whether or not they’re fat or thin.
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### Author:  [@Quint](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quint)
#### Post date: [May 4, 2007, 5:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ug-maybe-media-does-want-women-to-be-too-skinny/402492/150 "2007-05-04T17:34:16Z")
Somebody get a bowl of milk, looks like we got a _catfight_ on our hands!
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### Author:  [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)
#### Post date: [May 4, 2007, 5:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ug-maybe-media-does-want-women-to-be-too-skinny/402492/151 "2007-05-04T17:42:48Z")
[QUOTE=Quint]
Somebody get a bowl of milk, looks like we got a _catfight_ on our hands!
[/QUOTE]
_ **MEOW!!!** _
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### Author:  [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)
#### Post date: [May 4, 2007, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ug-maybe-media-does-want-women-to-be-too-skinny/402492/152 "2007-05-04T18:21:53Z")
[QUOTE=Quint]
Somebody get a bowl of milk, looks like we got a _catfight_ on our hands!
[/QUOTE]
I was wondering if the guys reading this thread were staying out of it, like they’d stay out of the kitchen when they hear their mother and sisters shrieking at each other.
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### Author:  [@Ogre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ogre)
#### Post date: [May 4, 2007, 6:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ug-maybe-media-does-want-women-to-be-too-skinny/402492/153 "2007-05-04T18:26:23Z")
No. For me, it’s more about how it seems that all women, no matter their body structure, seem to have body issues. There’s just no getting in the middle of that.
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### Author:  [@Rubystreak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rubystreak)
#### Post date: [May 4, 2007, 6:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ug-maybe-media-does-want-women-to-be-too-skinny/402492/154 "2007-05-04T18:27:21Z")
[QUOTE=Kalhoun]
Oh, come on…not-so-thinly veiled. The message was clear:
and
The comment had no place in the discussion.
[/QUOTE]
You are either being deliberately obtuse to derail the conversation off criticism of you, or you have not been reading carefully. Some mean-spirited assholes say if you have a gap, it means you’re a slut; other mean-spirited assholes say if you don’t have it, you’re fat. Both camps are assholes and are wrong. I don’t think the space or lack of space between a woman’s legs means ANYTHING, by itself. YOU said that fat girls (ie, those whose thighs touch) were slutty in your neighborhood. I never said anyone was actually really a slut, just that the gap you so admired and touted as a mark of beauty isn’t a universal standard of attractiveness and had negative connotations in my mind from the idiotic, sexist bullshit that teenagers said.
Was that clear enough for you? If alice\_in\_wonderland is backing me up on my interpretation, then you know you must be wrong.
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### Author:  [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)
#### Post date: [May 4, 2007, 6:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ug-maybe-media-does-want-women-to-be-too-skinny/402492/155 "2007-05-04T18:34:55Z")
[QUOTE=anu-la1979]
This whole thread is sad on so many levels-I never heard the gap-legged promiscuity comments growing up, although I find them incredibly offensive. I don’t think gap legs look “ugly” but I don’t think touching thighs look ugly either and I strongly object to either one of those being held up as a standard of beauty or even worse _thinness_ or fitness. “Oh my gaw, ‘er thighs are touchin’! What a porker!”
[/quote]
Sorry if my preference for my own thighs offends you. I’m not holding anything up as a standard. The rest of you are reading something that isn’t there. It is a _personal_ preference and a _personal_ opinion. Nothing more.
> [@](#):
>
> Even worse is the assertion that “skipping meals” in any way shape or form resembles a proper diet. That just makes me want to bang my head against the wall.
Well good thing I didn’t say anything like that. If you’ll read the thread more carefully, I said ages ago that I was not suggesting that seriously. Jesus. Has everyone lost the abililty to comprehend the lighter side? It. Wasn’t. A. Serious. Suggestion.
> [@](#):
>
> Perhaps, **Kalhoun** , none of the women in this thread will be affected by what you say, but the chances that your own daughter (if you have one) would be/was affected by statements like “I’d take her lunch away for a month!” is pretty high.
:rolleyes:
> [@](#):
>
> You’re still equating non-touching thighs as evidence of slimness but everyone else with touching thighs as fatty mcfatersons. There could have been plenty of thin mean girls who said said statement about heavier gap legged girls. This just points to what everyone in this thread is saying-no matter how much you claim it’s just a standard you’re applying to yourself-you really are applying it to everyone as a gauge of whether or not they’re fat or thin.
Oh fercrissakes…sometimes touching thighs don’t indicate thinness or fatness. There. Happy? Surely you realize that sometimes, touching thighs indeed indicates chubbiness or even a weight problem?
Please don’t tell me what I’m “really” applying to anything. If you choose to believe that I’m using a sweeping brush to denigrate every woman who has thighs that touch, there’s nothing I can say to change that. My opinion on the subject is mine and you’re all free to agree or disagree.
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### Author:  [@storyteller0910](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/storyteller0910)
#### Post date: [May 4, 2007, 6:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ug-maybe-media-does-want-women-to-be-too-skinny/402492/156 "2007-05-04T18:40:40Z")
[QUOTE=Kalhoun]
Please don’t tell me what I’m “really” applying to anything. If you choose to believe that I’m using a sweeping brush to denigrate every woman who has thighs that touch, there’s nothing I can say to change that. My opinion on the subject is mine and you’re all free to agree or disagree.
[/QUOTE]
Can you accept the possibility that what you have said in this thread is perhaps not communicating what you intended it to communicate?
\*\*Ogre - \*\* Amen.
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### Author:  [@kidchameleon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kidchameleon)
#### Post date: [May 4, 2007, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ug-maybe-media-does-want-women-to-be-too-skinny/402492/157 "2007-05-04T18:42:57Z")
[QUOTE=featherlou]
I was wondering if the guys reading this thread were staying out of it, like they’d stay out of the kitchen when they hear their mother and sisters shrieking at each other.
[/QUOTE]
It’s downright confusing. I dare say that no woman is safe from the disparities of other women, no matter their body shape/size. I’ve heard men disparage women but it never gets down to the level of detail that other women seem to bring to the table.
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### Author:  [@DSeid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DSeid)
#### Post date: [May 4, 2007, 6:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ug-maybe-media-does-want-women-to-be-too-skinny/402492/158 "2007-05-04T18:44:11Z")
Yup, **Ogre** is dead on. In case there any doubt that many women in America have a problem with body image, this thread dispells it.
Woo boy. Where else but in America can we have so many people obese and yet still have people holding Monroe up as somene who was “too fat.” (Look at those thighs and arms … nah, people were too busy looking at other things!) It makes me wonder if the very fact that the fact that so many women have internalized the Kidman prepubertal thighs not touching physique as the ideal is what drives so many to clinical obesity … cause since they are doomed to fail to meet that ideal in any case, they may as well just forget about excercising and eating healthy.
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### Author:  [@redtail23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/redtail23)
#### Post date: [May 4, 2007, 6:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ug-maybe-media-does-want-women-to-be-too-skinny/402492/159 "2007-05-04T18:53:54Z")
**A Monkey With a Gun** , I just wanted to stop in and say thanks for the OP. I briefly argued with you recently in a thread where you made the claim that the media don’t hold up extremely thin women as the only ideal. I dropped out of that discussion because lots of people were arguing my side, better than I could, and because I didn’t have the time. It seemed obvious to me that this idea was one you’d supported for quite a while and weren’t going to give up easily.
I became aware of the media problem when I had friends with eating disorders, so it’s a somewhat personal issue with me. I appreciate the fact that you reconsidered your opinion based on receiving more evidence, and were willing to post about it.
Now, back to your regularly scheduled catfight…
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### Author:  [@Batsinma\_Belfry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Batsinma_Belfry)
#### Post date: [May 4, 2007, 6:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ug-maybe-media-does-want-women-to-be-too-skinny/402492/160 "2007-05-04T18:57:13Z")
- Pretending the thread didn’t get derailed : \*
Re: Marilyn Monroe - she was a size 12 at her biggest. That’s not even considered plus -sized.
Re: Nicole Kidman - she looks thin on camera, but in person (according to my husband), she’s almost skeletal. And her head looks ginormous compared to the rest of her.
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