# Ugh! I hat\_ this \_ucking k\_yboa\_d! H\_lp!
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ugh-i-hat_-this-_ucking-k_yboa_d-h_lp/109910
**Category:** Factual Questions
**Created:** [May 20, 2002, 5:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ugh-i-hat_-this-_ucking-k_yboa_d-h_lp/109910 "2002-05-20T05:19:50Z")
**Posts on this page:** 16
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@Superdude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superdude)
#### Post date: [May 20, 2002, 5:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ugh-i-hat_-this-_ucking-k_yboa_d-h_lp/109910/1 "2002-05-20T05:19:50Z")
Why is it that _v\_\_yti_\_ I hit th\_ l\_tt\_\_s that co\_\_ n\_xt in th\_ s\_qu\_nc\_, _y onito op\_\_at\_s in a st\_ang_ _way? ost o’th vow\_ls ca\_\_y out di\_\_\_\_\_nt inst\_uctions than what I want, and a coupl_ o’consanants, too. It’s lik\_ th\_ ALT button is stuck. But I can’t \_ind anything actually causing this.
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### Author:  [@Bramblerose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bramblerose)
#### Post date: [May 20, 2002, 5:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ugh-i-hat_-this-_ucking-k_yboa_d-h_lp/109910/2 "2002-05-20T05:59:27Z")
It’s possible that your keyboard is either 1. stuck, 2. old, or 3. dirty.
Keyboards are cheap. Go get a new one.
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### Author:  [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)
#### Post date: [May 20, 2002, 6:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ugh-i-hat_-this-_ucking-k_yboa_d-h_lp/109910/3 "2002-05-20T06:23:18Z")
Turn off the PC and unplug the keyboard. Turn it upside down and brand the crap out of it on the corners and edges while slapping it firmly on the bottom. Lots of Superdude skin flakes, food detritus, lint and other crap will fall out of it. If that doesn’t work get a new one.
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### Author:  [@Washte](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Washte)
#### Post date: [May 20, 2002, 6:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ugh-i-hat_-this-_ucking-k_yboa_d-h_lp/109910/4 "2002-05-20T06:31:30Z")
Yes, keyboards are cheap. If it’s busted, it’s much cheaper replacing it than fix it… I got a cool transparent blue one from Poundland (similar to the Dollar Store) - for £1…
If it’s dirty, it’s fairly easy to clean. Turn the computer off, unfold a paperclip and slide it gently around the letters, thus removing unnisghtly gunk you never thought of. Give it a good shake as well. You can also get compressed air (looks like a WD40 can) which is good, but expensive.
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### Author:  [@Achernar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Achernar)
#### Post date: [May 20, 2002, 9:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ugh-i-hat_-this-_ucking-k_yboa_d-h_lp/109910/5 "2002-05-20T09:30:34Z")
You guys aren’t looking for the pattern here. What do E, F, M, and R have in common? They’re used in conjunction with the Windows start button on your keyboard. If you press Start+E for instance, you’ll get an Explorer window. Start+F is Find, Start+M is Minimize All, and Start+R is Run. I seem to remember there being one more, but maybe not. Anyway, I think your problem is that your Start button is stuck. Try pressing it and maybe it’ll unstick it. If that doesn’t work, I’ll bet it’s a software problem, and a quick reset will fix it.
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### Author:  [@Patty\_O\_Furniture](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Patty_O_Furniture)
#### Post date: [May 20, 2002, 12:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ugh-i-hat_-this-_ucking-k_yboa_d-h_lp/109910/6 "2002-05-20T12:40:52Z")
The number lock button on my laptop makes my keyboard go all stupid. Are you on a laptop?
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### Author:  [@fruitbat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fruitbat)
#### Post date: [May 20, 2002, 2:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ugh-i-hat_-this-_ucking-k_yboa_d-h_lp/109910/7 "2002-05-20T14:11:05Z")
Me have the same problem w th my eyboard. To actually use the eye and the cay - have to copy from an ex st ng document and paste. AAARRRGGHHH!!!
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### Author:  [@Revtim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revtim)
#### Post date: [May 20, 2002, 2:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ugh-i-hat_-this-_ucking-k_yboa_d-h_lp/109910/8 "2002-05-20T14:48:26Z")
Once I spilled just the tiniest bit of coffee into a keyboard, and it was ruined.
Like the others say, they’re cheap, buy a new one. My latest one cost about 15 bucks American, and it claims to be spill-resistant.
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### Author:  [@Superdude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superdude)
#### Post date: [May 20, 2002, 3:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ugh-i-hat_-this-_ucking-k_yboa_d-h_lp/109910/9 "2002-05-20T15:36:10Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Achernar \*
> \*\*You guys aren’t looking for the pattern here. What do E, F, M, and R have in common? They’re used in conjunction with the Windows start button on your keyboard. If you press Start+E for instance, you’ll get an Explorer window. Start+F is Find, Start+M is Minimize All, and Start+R is Run. I seem to remember there being one more, but maybe not. Anyway, I think your problem is that your Start button is stuck. Try pressing it and maybe it’ll unstick it. If that doesn’t work, I’ll bet it’s a software problem, and a quick reset will fix it. \*\*
Thank you SO much. This is kinda of what I was looking for. I’m on my laptop now, and having MUCH better success. When I get home later, I plan on trying this. Question, though…how does a Start button get stuck? It’s not a physical key, like on a keyboard. Glad you picked up on the pattern of the pop-up windows when I hit those letters. It was horribly aggravating.
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### Author:  [@Achernar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Achernar)
#### Post date: [May 20, 2002, 3:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ugh-i-hat_-this-_ucking-k_yboa_d-h_lp/109910/10 "2002-05-20T15:53:01Z")
On my keyboard it is a physical key. Two of them, in fact. They have little Windows logos on them, and they’re sandwiched between Ctrl and Alt. If your keyboard doesn’t have them, then I imagine it must be a software problem…
If you find you **have** to type without those keys, like in your OP, try this. When you get to one, hit Shift+whatever. I think that’ll override the Start button and give you a capital letter. If you’re fastidious about capitalization, though, you’ll have to hit Caps Lock twice every time you do this.
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### Author:  [@fruitbat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fruitbat)
#### Post date: [May 20, 2002, 3:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ugh-i-hat_-this-_ucking-k_yboa_d-h_lp/109910/11 "2002-05-20T15:56:13Z")
The strange thing is is my problems come and go. As you can see my I and K and , keys now work. Tomorrow they wont. I have had my keyboard and hard drive replaced and yet it continues. It is really driving me nuts.
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### Author:  [@Superdude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superdude)
#### Post date: [May 20, 2002, 4:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ugh-i-hat_-this-_ucking-k_yboa_d-h_lp/109910/12 "2002-05-20T16:01:27Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Achernar \*
> \*\*On my keyboard it is a physical key. Two of them, in fact. They have little Windows logos on them, and they’re sandwiched between Ctrl and Alt. If your keyboard doesn’t have them, then I imagine it must be a software problem…
Ah…is THAT what those are called? Sounds like I have some work to do when I get home.
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### Author:  [@elmwood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elmwood)
#### Post date: [May 20, 2002, 4:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ugh-i-hat_-this-_ucking-k_yboa_d-h_lp/109910/13 "2002-05-20T16:05:07Z")
Call me crazy, but when a keyboard cruds up on me, I pop it in the dishwasher, key side down. After the wash and dry cycle, I let it sit for a few days. Volia! Good as new!
Fortunately, I have backup keyboards I use when I’m cleaning one of the others. IBM Type M, baby – all-American clicky classic keyboards that’ll never let you down.
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### Author:  [@engineer\_comp\_geek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/engineer_comp_geek)
#### Post date: [May 20, 2002, 5:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ugh-i-hat_-this-_ucking-k_yboa_d-h_lp/109910/14 "2002-05-20T17:18:03Z")
I happen to be a computer weenie, and I always seem to need keyboards (except since the last ham fest I went to, where I got about 20 for 5 bucks). Obviously, when you get keyboards out of the trash or wherever they aren’t in the best of shape. As elmwood suggested, the dishwasher does wonders. Three important things not previously mentioned: 1) don’t use soap and 2) wrap the cord up around something so it can’t get caught in the moving parts of the dishwasher and 3) if your dishwasher has a heating option to dry your dishes at the end, turn it off (it may be labled “power saver dry” in which case you turn it on to save power, i.e. leave the heater off).
We had a programmer at work who dumped his coffee into a 2 month old keyboard. Work tossed it in the trash. I rescued it, ran it through the dishwasher, and voila, good as new.
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### Author:  [@rjung](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rjung)
#### Post date: [May 20, 2002, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ugh-i-hat_-this-_ucking-k_yboa_d-h_lp/109910/15 "2002-05-20T18:48:16Z")
My keyboards last forever. What are you people _doing_ to your computers?
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### Author:  [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)
#### Post date: [May 20, 2002, 8:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ugh-i-hat_-this-_ucking-k_yboa_d-h_lp/109910/16 "2002-05-20T20:53:59Z")
> [@](#):
>
> My keyboards last forever.
And the worst that’s ever happened to one of mine is that unsightly black gunk on the surface of the keys.