# Ugly American cuisine **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [April 16, 2013, 4:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ugly-american-cuisine/655812 "2013-04-16T04:18:14Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 14
**Author:** ![Missy2U](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/3bc359/32.png) [@Missy2U](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Missy2U)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2013, 7:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ugly-american-cuisine/655812/261 "2013-04-19T19:40:29Z")
> [@Motorgirl](#): > > I remembered we had one last jar of beets that I pickled in October, so I popped it open. Mmmm. I DO NOT WANT TO GO CHANGE CLOTHES AND GO TO THE STORE AND BUY SOME!! Would you guys all PLEASE try to understand this?? šŸ˜ƒ ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2013, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ugly-american-cuisine/655812/262 "2013-04-19T19:45:18Z")
> [@Acsenray](#): > > Frozen veggies dumped in mayonnaise? Please tell me that the veggies arenā€™t still frozen. Thereā€™s several ways of making it: one is you actually cook your veggies: usually, carrots, peas, potatoes, sometimes pickled cucumbers, maybe a bit of pickled apple. Other recipes substitute in canned veggies where appropriate. Others, frozen veggies. Yes, they are thawed first. ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2013, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ugly-american-cuisine/655812/263 "2013-04-19T19:45:33Z")
> [@Acsenray](#): > > Frozen veggies dumped in mayonnaise? Please tell me that the veggies arenā€™t still frozen. I do believe theyā€™re allowed to thaw first. šŸ†’ Unless you have your own garden and can cook every day with stuff youā€™ve just picked yourself, frozen veg is actually better for you than what you find in the Produce department at your local supermarket. Itā€™s frozen within hours of being picked, while Produce veg sits around for days before you buy it. ---
**Author:** ![davidm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/davidm/32/225_2.png) [@davidm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/davidm)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2013, 7:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ugly-american-cuisine/655812/264 "2013-04-19T19:56:24Z")
> [@Missy2U](#): > > Great. Thanks to **Athena** and **pulykamell** , Iā€™m craving pickled beets. THANKS, you two! šŸ˜ƒ So am I now, and I have a jar of pickled beets with onions in the cupboard! šŸ™‚ ---
**Author:** ![Balance](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ccd318/32.png) [@Balance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Balance)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2013, 7:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ugly-american-cuisine/655812/265 "2013-04-19T19:58:52Z")
> [@Missy2U](#): > > I DO NOT WANT TO GO CHANGE CLOTHES AND GO TO THE STORE AND BUY SOME!! Would you guys all PLEASE try to understand this?? šŸ˜ƒ Would it help if I told my pickled beets story? It involves the word ā€œabattoirā€. ---
**Author:** ![davidm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/davidm/32/225_2.png) [@davidm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/davidm)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2013, 8:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ugly-american-cuisine/655812/266 "2013-04-19T20:03:15Z")
> [@davidm](#): > > So am I now, and I have a jar of pickled beets with onions in the cupboard! šŸ™‚ Eating them now. Nom nom nom ---
**Author:** ![Missy2U](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/3bc359/32.png) [@Missy2U](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Missy2U)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2013, 8:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ugly-american-cuisine/655812/267 "2013-04-19T20:33:09Z")
> [@Balance](#): > > Would it help if I told my pickled beets story? It involves the word ā€œabattoirā€. Yes. PLEASE. **davidm** appears to be bound and determined to make my afternoon miserable and make me go to the damn store. šŸ˜ƒ ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2013, 8:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ugly-american-cuisine/655812/268 "2013-04-19T20:56:51Z")
> [@terentii](#): > > Unless you have your own garden and can cook every day with stuff youā€™ve just picked yourself, frozen veg is actually better for you than what you find in the Produce department at your local supermarket. Perhaps, :dubious: but they taste like hell. ---
**Author:** ![davidm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/davidm/32/225_2.png) [@davidm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/davidm)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2013, 9:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ugly-american-cuisine/655812/269 "2013-04-19T21:12:46Z")
> [@Missy2U](#): > > Yes. PLEASE. **davidm** appears to be bound and determined to make my afternoon miserable and make me go to the damn store. šŸ˜ƒ Sorry. :o Itā€™s just that theyā€™re sooo good. šŸ˜ƒ ---
**Author:** ![Balance](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ccd318/32.png) [@Balance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Balance)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2013, 9:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ugly-american-cuisine/655812/270 "2013-04-19T21:50:14Z")
> [@Missy2U](#): > > Yes. PLEASE. **davidm** appears to be bound and determined to make my afternoon miserable and make me go to the damn store. šŸ˜ƒ When I was a small child, I loved pickled beets. This was considered weird, and possibly unnatural, but it generally worked out well for me, as I got excellent exchange rates on them for almost anything when they appeared in school lunches. I considered them a treat. (What follows is spoilered for the benefit of those who donā€™t care for gross-out TMI.) [spoiler]One day, I was feeling rather unwell, and was regarding the prospect of lunch somewhat dubiously. But, heyā€“beets! Whatā€™s more, my best friend made our customary cornbread/beets transaction without even asking, and the only thing better than beets was more beets. A childā€™s trepidation, however well justified, tends to evaporate at the sight of a favored treat, so even though I ignored everything else on the plate, I scarfed the beets, washing them down with a little milk. It quickly became obvious that this had been an error in judgment. Moments later, I was scuttling for the door of the cafeteria. A teacher moved to intercept me, andā€“not daring to open my mouthā€“I was forced to explain via pantomime that I was only seconds away from redecorating the room, and possibly triggering a chain reaction. Bless her, either she was fluent in mime, or she correctly interpreted the suppressed heaving motions, and got out of my way, enabling me to reach the bathroom before reviewing inputs. It was ghastly. The bowl looked like a basin full of runoff from an abattoir. Milk lent opacity, making the returning beet juice look even more blood-like as it spattered over white porcelain, and (mostly) chewed bits of beet floated in the pool like the gruesome remnants of a chainsawed liver. The combined smell and taste of beet brine and curdled milk could stand as the Platonic Form of Vomit. The teacher had quite responsibly followed me, and arrived just in time to get a good look at the horror that beets had wrought. She went ghostly pale and lunged into the next stall to puke, but quickly mastered herself, andā€“believing that I was actually puking bloodā€“tried to get me to lie down while she went to call an ambulance. Confusion reigned for a few moments, with each of us suppressing dry heaves, until I managed to convince her that I was not in imminent danger of turning inside out or spawning an alien. She eventually calmed down, and settled for sending me home.[/spoiler] It was over thirty years before I ate another beet. ---
**Author:** ![jasg](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f0a364/32.png) [@jasg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jasg)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2013, 10:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ugly-american-cuisine/655812/271 "2013-04-19T22:29:21Z")
> [@Little\_Nemo](#): > > Another good variation is to add some lobster (although I use imitation lobster). A fine addition. To add to this, try a 1/4 tsp each of fresh grated nutmeg and cayenne. Also, I have stopped using elbow macaroni and switched to rotini - it holds the cheese sauce better. ---
**Author:** ![foolsguinea](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/foolsguinea/32/14751_2.png) [@foolsguinea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/foolsguinea)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2013, 2:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ugly-american-cuisine/655812/272 "2013-04-20T02:54:55Z")
> [@Remember\_me](#): > > Chicken and waffles is something I find quite strange - but not downright disgusting. To be clear, some Americans find chicken and waffles a strange combo, and consider maple syrup on bacon kind of a mismatch. And we disagree with each other on cornbread: Some make it a sweet cake, some make it relatively bland, and some put ā€œcracklinsā€ (pork fat) in it. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2013, 3:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ugly-american-cuisine/655812/273 "2013-04-20T03:57:08Z")
> [@jasg](#): > > I have stopped using elbow macaroni and switched to rotini - it holds the cheese sauce better. I usually go with shells. They scoop up the cheese sauce and they fit in with the theme. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2013, 3:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ugly-american-cuisine/655812/274 "2013-04-20T03:58:10Z")
> [@foolsguinea](#): > > And we disagree with each other on cornbread: Some make it a sweet cake, some make it relatively bland, and some put ā€œcracklinsā€ (pork fat) in it. In the southwest, they add chopped jalapenos. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2013, 4:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ugly-american-cuisine/655812/275 "2013-04-20T04:04:55Z")
> [@terentii](#): > > My ex, who is Russian, makes a lovely cheese salad. It consists of grated cheese and lots of garlic in mayonnaise sauce. Great stuff! Is that it? Or are you saying other ingredients get added to the cheese and sauce? ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2013, 4:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ugly-american-cuisine/655812/276 "2013-04-20T04:07:32Z")
> [@Little\_Nemo](#): > > Is that it? Or are you saying other ingredients get added to the cheese and sauce? I think I know what heā€™s talking about, and it literally is just those three ingredients: cheese, garlic, mayonnaise. Iā€™ll await confirmation, though, but that concoction does exist. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2013, 4:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ugly-american-cuisine/655812/277 "2013-04-20T04:21:58Z")
So you just eat a plate of shredded cheese with mayonnaise (and a little garlic) mixed in? Heck, Iā€™m a redneck and even I think thatā€™s pretty extreme. ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2013, 5:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ugly-american-cuisine/655812/278 "2013-04-20T05:05:41Z")
> [@Little\_Nemo](#): > > So you just eat a plate of shredded cheese with mayonnaise (and a little garlic) mixed in? > > Heck, Iā€™m a redneck and even I think thatā€™s pretty extreme. AFAIK, you serve it with some bread, so itā€™s more like a spread/dip kind of thing. Once again, someone can correct me, but thatā€™s how Iā€™ve encountered it. ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2013, 5:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ugly-american-cuisine/655812/279 "2013-04-20T05:43:05Z")
> [@pulykamell](#): > > AFAIK, you serve it with some bread, so itā€™s more like a spread/dip kind of thing. Once again, someone can correct me, but thatā€™s how Iā€™ve encountered it. Right. Eating a whole plate of it would be a bit extreme. It, like _salat Olivier_, is meant to be eaten in small quantities, usually in conjunction with bread. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2013, 1:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ugly-american-cuisine/655812/280 "2013-04-20T13:25:23Z")
> [@foolsguinea](#): > > And we disagree with each other on cornbread: Some make it a sweet cake Heretics! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ugly-american-cuisine/655812.md?page=13) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ugly-american-cuisine/655812.md?page=15)