# uh, what? No, really. What just happened? **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [April 12, 2010, 1:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/uh-what-no-really-what-just-happened/535797 "2010-04-12T01:44:53Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Slithy\_Tove](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slithy_tove/32/18248_2.png) [@Slithy\_Tove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slithy_Tove)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2010, 11:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/uh-what-no-really-what-just-happened/535797/41 "2010-04-12T23:42:12Z")
There was no cultural divide last week, when I swerved to miss a 4’ x 2"x2" board with protruding nails lying in the road, and in a bright-hearted mood pulled over, walked back and dodged traffic to pick it up and toss it in my truck’s bed, just to hear shouted from one of the passing cars **"next time secure your load, asshole."** ---
**Author:** ![Revenant\_Threshold](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/f1d935/32.png) [@Revenant\_Threshold](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revenant_Threshold)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2010, 12:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/uh-what-no-really-what-just-happened/535797/42 "2010-04-13T00:08:15Z")
Eh, look on the bright side. A woman apparently in trouble attracted help. When she (seemingly) thought herself to be threatened, she attracted yet more help. Even if things didn’t exactly go fantastically, it could certainly have been worse. ---
**Author:** ![Harmonious\_Discord](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/74df32/32.png) [@Harmonious\_Discord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harmonious_Discord)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2010, 1:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/uh-what-no-really-what-just-happened/535797/43 "2010-04-13T01:19:33Z")
> [@Slithy\_Tove](#): > > There was no cultural divide last week, when I swerved to miss a 4’ x 2"x2" board with protruding nails lying in the road, and in a bright-hearted mood pulled over, walked back and dodged traffic to pick it up and toss it in my truck’s bed, just to hear shouted from one of the passing cars **“next time secure your load, asshole.”** Depending on the location a cop may have ticketed you too. ---
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2010, 1:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/uh-what-no-really-what-just-happened/535797/44 "2010-04-13T01:45:23Z")
> [@Harmonious\_Discord](#): > > Depending on the location a cop may have ticketed you too. For removing a hazard that someone else had left? ---
**Author:** ![Hypnagogic\_Jerk](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hypnagogic_jerk/32/4252_2.png) [@Hypnagogic\_Jerk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypnagogic_Jerk)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2010, 2:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/uh-what-no-really-what-just-happened/535797/45 "2010-04-13T02:37:31Z")
> [@acsenray](#): > > He was positively pestering her by that point. No, he was not. He was merely checking if everything was right. The lady should have realized that yelling into a cell phone (which people may not see) is definitely going to attract attention. ---
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2010, 2:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/uh-what-no-really-what-just-happened/535797/46 "2010-04-13T02:57:29Z")
He was “merely checking” the first time he said something. After he ascertained that she was on the phone, “merely checking” morphed into pestering. And, actually, I believed that point was reached at some time prior to that, when he should have realized that _he can’t understand what she’s saying_. How’s he going to “merely check” anything when he doesn’t speak her language? It becomes some kind of futile demonstration of chivalry or something. > [@](#): > > The lady should have realized that yelling into a cell phone (which people may not see) is definitely going to attract attention. Attract attention sure, but not repeated attempts to accost her, and certainly not _after_ he realizes she’s talking on the phone. ---
**Author:** ![Triskadecamus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b19c9b/32.png) [@Triskadecamus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Triskadecamus)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2010, 2:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/uh-what-no-really-what-just-happened/535797/47 "2010-04-13T02:57:36Z")
> [@acsenray](#): > > Seriously? You don’t speak her language and she’s on the phone with someone who does speak her language? And there are other people who speak her language in the general vicinity? And you made several attempts to talk to her and she either didn’t notice you or ignored you? And you continued to accost her and yell at her in a language she doesn’t understand? > > From her point of view, and possibly mine as well, you were the one acting like a crazy person. What good did you think you would be able to do? Perhaps the actual words I used could mean what you say, but I don’t think so. > [@Me](#): > > So, I walked over. I spoke to her, but she did not seem to notice me. So, I moved in front of her, and spoke again. At that point I noticed she was talking on a phone So, for those who might not understand the intent of English, I moved in front of her, and spoke again happened, and at that point I noticed. . . etc. This clearly meant to me that as I spoke, I noticed the phone. Where I said that I yelled at her was not apparent to me on review of my post. Nor was the fact that I knew at that moment that she did not speak English, only that she had not yet spoken English. When she yelled at me in a foreign language, I did assume she did not speak English. Concerning the other people, again, I must refer to my own post. > [@me](#): > > She screamed something at me, and ran off. OK, I guess she didn’t need any help. Now for the part I don’t understand. I spent the next few minutes being accosted verbally, and (I assume from tone of voice and facial expression) berated harshly by four of five other people in the same language. You are correct, I did not specify how far she ran, nor that I did not run after her. The people were not with her when I first encountered her. They came into the situation after she had already run away. Probably fifty or more feet through a parking lot, and past several other people who did nothing. But, I suppose I could have decided originally that she was not my ethnic group, and the other people nearby were, and I should never have said anything to her at all. However, the fact is that if I hear another voice, distressed, tearful, and nearly screaming in a public parking lot, I probably won’t just walk away. Tris ---
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2010, 3:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/uh-what-no-really-what-just-happened/535797/48 "2010-04-13T03:04:47Z")
> [@Triskadecamus](#): > > However, the fact is that if I hear another voice, distressed, tearful, and nearly screaming in a public parking lot, I probably won’t just walk away. That justifies perhaps _one_ attempt to offer help. After you were ignored, you chose continue to impose yourself, which to me suggests some motive other than ordinary human concern. People are perfectly able to _ask_ for help if they need it or want it. Again, I wonder whether your actions would have been different if this person had been a man instead of a woman. I also wonder whether things would have been different if this person had been speaking in English. What kind of loud, tearful conversation that you _did_ understand would prompt you to aggressively offer help and what kind wouldn’t? “Distressed, tearful, and nearly screaming”? The first thing that this suggests to me is a lovers’ quarrel. What kind of help can a random stranger on the street offer in that kind of a situation? ---
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2010, 3:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/uh-what-no-really-what-just-happened/535797/49 "2010-04-13T03:12:20Z")
I must admit, I’m finding it hard to even invent a scenario in which your insisting on offering help would offer her a critical difference – “My neighbor is threatening to kill and eat my pet turtle if I don’t go get him in 20 minutes and my son is refusing to give me a ride? Can you take me?” I would imagine that anything _really_ serious would have prompted her to _ask_ someone for help. ---
**Author:** ![Triskadecamus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b19c9b/32.png) [@Triskadecamus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Triskadecamus)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2010, 3:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/uh-what-no-really-what-just-happened/535797/50 "2010-04-13T03:32:41Z")
> [@acsenray](#): > > That justifies perhaps _one_ attempt to offer help. After you were ignored, you chose continue to impose yourself, which to me suggests some motive other than ordinary human concern. People are perfectly able to _ask_ for help if they need it or want it. Read it again. It was one attempt. > [@](#): > > Again, I wonder whether your actions would have been different if this person had been a man instead of a woman. Perhaps an interesting psychological examination. I do probably have a different threshold for offering help to a man, than a woman. But, on the other hand a man publicly showing the same level of distress would probably appear much more distressed to me, given my social and ethnic antecedents. Artfully camouflaged insinuation on your part, though. Off the mark entirely of course, but you have only my assurance to go on, and a stalking rapist would certainly claim the highest motives. > [@](#): > > I also wonder whether things would have been different if this person had been speaking in English. What kind of loud, tearful conversation that you _did_ understand would prompt you to aggressively offer help and what kind wouldn’t? Well, had she been speaking English I might have recognized it as a conversation, which in the actual case, I did not. People screaming and in tears who are apparently alone are qualitatively different in social impact than folks having a very angry argument in public. > [@](#): > > “Distressed, tearful, and nearly screaming”? The first thing that this suggests to me is a lovers’ quarrel. What kind of help can a random stranger on the street offer in that kind of a situation? The kind that did not know it was a lover’s quarrel, due to the absence of a perceivable lover. I think your point here is that I should have known it was a lover’s quarrel. I did not. So, now let me ask something. What nefarious plan do you think I was hatching when i “accosted” her with my unsolicited offer of aid? Despite your assurances that the angry lover could not be helped by a random stranger (which I don’t necessarily believe to be invariably the case), many other terribly distressing thing could be remedied by a random stranger. I know, because random strangers have helped me, once even when I was incomprehensible, and irrational. Tris ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2010, 3:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/uh-what-no-really-what-just-happened/535797/51 "2010-04-13T03:38:38Z")
**Trisk** , you really should know better than trying to rape people. Didn’t we talk about this once already? But seriously, it’s sort of upsetting that someone would be admonished for trying to help. There aren’t enough good people in the world. I’m glad you were concerned for her. ---
**Author:** ![Triskadecamus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b19c9b/32.png) [@Triskadecamus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Triskadecamus)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2010, 3:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/uh-what-no-really-what-just-happened/535797/52 "2010-04-13T03:42:39Z")
**Ah ha!** At least one person has fallen for my . . . uh . . . recognized my inherent kindliness. 🙂 Tris ---
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2010, 4:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/uh-what-no-really-what-just-happened/535797/53 "2010-04-13T04:39:52Z")
> [@shantih](#): > > It’s German for ‘with another,’ so they were letting him know that they were with someone there in the mountains, so any attacking/dismembering/stowing the remaining bloody bits of what was once human in the rocky crevices would be severely frowned upon. Every time I’ve been walking the Swiss alps, I’ve had no stamina to spare for dismembering or stowing bloody bits. You must be in better shape. _Gruetzi_! ---
**Author:** ![Mops](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mops/32/16494_2.png) [@Mops](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mops)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2010, 9:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/uh-what-no-really-what-just-happened/535797/54 "2010-04-13T09:47:29Z")
> [@muldoonthief](#): > > Great, now that you’ve told him there’ll probably be a rash of bloody body parts stuffed into crevices next time **Squink** gets to the Alps. Don’t worry, there is probably a tool on the larger pocket knives dedicated to dealing with the likes of him. ---
**Author:** ![Hypnagogic\_Jerk](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hypnagogic_jerk/32/4252_2.png) [@Hypnagogic\_Jerk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypnagogic_Jerk)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2010, 9:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/uh-what-no-really-what-just-happened/535797/55 "2010-04-13T09:49:05Z")
> [@acsenray](#): > > That justifies perhaps _one_ attempt to offer help. After you were ignored, you chose continue to impose yourself, which to me suggests some motive other than ordinary human concern. My God, man. You’re usually a good poster, **acsenray** , but these are bizarre insinuations you’re making here. This seems to have stricken a chord with you. Is it a cultural difference with me and **Tris**? I ask because I remember you’re Indian; maybe in India or among Indian communities offering help to somebody is incredibly rude or something. > [@](#): > > I also wonder whether things would have been different if this person had been speaking in English. Well, as **Tris** pointed out, he’d have figured out what was going on if the person had been speaking English. As far as he was concerned this was a person screaming in a strange language. Maybe she needs help but can’t speak English, but at least will recognize somebody trying to help. Maybe she’s having a hypoglycemic episode or something. When he figured out she was speaking on the phone, he just finished his comment. Okay, maybe he should have backed away instead. But it doesn’t justify the woman’s reaction; she should just have pointed to her phone or something. Cell phones blur the line between private and public and seem to often be making people rude. ---
**Author:** ![Harmonious\_Discord](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/74df32/32.png) [@Harmonious\_Discord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harmonious_Discord)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2010, 9:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/uh-what-no-really-what-just-happened/535797/56 "2010-04-13T09:57:11Z")
> [@acsenray](#): > > For removing a hazard that someone else had left? Yes, because they just see you stopped with it and they think you lost it in the first place. Mistakes happen especially when a cop is looking for trouble. ---
**Author:** ![zweisamkeit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zweisamkeit/32/4360_2.png) [@zweisamkeit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zweisamkeit)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2010, 12:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/uh-what-no-really-what-just-happened/535797/57 "2010-04-13T12:53:08Z")
> [@Hypnagogic\_Jerk](#): > > My God, man. You’re usually a good poster, **acsenray** , but these are bizarre insinuations you’re making here. This seems to have stricken a chord with you. Is it a cultural difference with me and **Tris**? I ask because I remember you’re Indian; maybe in India or among Indian communities offering help to somebody is incredibly rude or something. > Well, as **Tris** pointed out, he’d have figured out what was going on if the person had been speaking English. As far as he was concerned this was a person screaming in a strange language. Maybe she needs help but can’t speak English, but at least will recognize somebody trying to help. Maybe she’s having a hypoglycemic episode or something. > > When he figured out she was speaking on the phone, he just finished his comment. Okay, maybe he should have backed away instead. But it doesn’t justify the woman’s reaction; she should just have pointed to her phone or something. Cell phones blur the line between private and public and seem to often be making people rude. How is _she_ supposed to know he’s trying to help if she doesn’t understand English? From her perspective, she’s having some sort of argument on her cell and this guy comes up out of nowhere, talking to her in a language she doesn’t understand. Especially considering that a lot of immigrants come over because some bad shit is going down in their homeland, I wouldn’t be surprised that she reacted more WTF instead of, “oh yay, a nice man wants to help me!” ---
**Author:** ![Hypnagogic\_Jerk](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hypnagogic_jerk/32/4252_2.png) [@Hypnagogic\_Jerk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypnagogic_Jerk)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2010, 1:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/uh-what-no-really-what-just-happened/535797/58 "2010-04-13T13:55:35Z")
> [@zweisamkeit](#): > > How is _she_ supposed to know he’s trying to help if she doesn’t understand English? From her perspective, she’s having some sort of argument on her cell and this guy comes up out of nowhere, talking to her in a language she doesn’t understand. She’s speaking in a language other than English; doesn’t mean she doesn’t understand English, or at least simple words. And if you’re screaming and someone accosts you, chances are they’re trying to understand what your problem is. ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2010, 2:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/uh-what-no-really-what-just-happened/535797/59 "2010-04-13T14:10:29Z")
Maybe her hovercraft really \*was \*full of eels. ---
**Author:** ![zweisamkeit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zweisamkeit/32/4360_2.png) [@zweisamkeit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zweisamkeit)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2010, 3:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/uh-what-no-really-what-just-happened/535797/60 "2010-04-13T15:00:08Z")
> [@Hypnagogic\_Jerk](#): > > She’s speaking in a language other than English; doesn’t mean she doesn’t understand English, or at least simple words. And if you’re screaming and someone accosts you, chances are they’re trying to understand what your problem is. To the first point, I’ll agree; there’s no way to know she doesn’t know English. I can’t agree with the second point. It could be other things, like an asshole who wants to beat the shit out of her for being loud and annoying to him. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/uh-what-no-really-what-just-happened/535797.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/uh-what-no-really-what-just-happened/535797.md?page=4)