# UK Dopers: Is Parliament always this much fun? Mr. Duncan Smith vs. his own party... **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 6, 2002, 8:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/uk-dopers-is-parliament-always-this-much-fun-mr-duncan-smith-vs-his-own-party/135606 "2002-11-06T20:47:22Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 11\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Andy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/aeb1de/32.png) [@Andy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Andy)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2002, 12:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/uk-dopers-is-parliament-always-this-much-fun-mr-duncan-smith-vs-his-own-party/135606/21 "2002-11-07T12:20:06Z")
I’m sure Dennis Skinner did it too…I certainly remember him being suspended from the house. The Beast of Bolsover…was it he who yelled ‘Resign!’ the instant John Major stood up to make his first speech as PM? Brilliant stuff! ---
**Author:** ![everton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ecb155/32.png) [@everton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/everton)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2002, 2:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/uk-dopers-is-parliament-always-this-much-fun-mr-duncan-smith-vs-his-own-party/135606/22 "2002-11-07T14:32:44Z")
So to recap, Ian Duncan-Smith stamps his little foot 'cause his pals want a more up-to-date attitude to child adoption policy than they had in 1955… Boris may be shagging Petronella… Other characters include mace brandishers “Tarzan” Heseltine, Ron “Underwear Snatcher” Brown, The Beast of Bolsover, Anne “Doris Karloff” Widdecombe, John “Considerable Period of Time” Major and the Undead Handmaiden of Beelzebub. Our American cousins must be loving this! You can [get tickets for the public gallery](http://www.parliament.uk/commons/lib/VIASCI.HTM) if you’ve ever in town by the way. Terrific stuff. ---
**Author:** ![chukhung](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e79b87/32.png) [@chukhung](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chukhung)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2002, 3:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/uk-dopers-is-parliament-always-this-much-fun-mr-duncan-smith-vs-his-own-party/135606/23 "2002-11-07T15:13:48Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Steve Wright \* > **Another thing you Americans need in your debating chamber is a mace** We have a mace! I direct your attention to this link: [http://clerkweb.house.gov/105/greathall/artifact/artifact.htm](http://clerkweb.house.gov/105/greathall/artifact/artifact.htm). Scroll down to the bottom and you’ll see the Mace of the United States House of Representatives in all its glory. By the way, the current mace was created to replace the one you Brits destroyed when you burned the U.S. capitol in 1814… ---
**Author:** ![Duck\_Duck\_Goose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/50afbb/32.png) [@Duck\_Duck\_Goose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duck_Duck_Goose)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2002, 4:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/uk-dopers-is-parliament-always-this-much-fun-mr-duncan-smith-vs-his-own-party/135606/24 "2002-11-07T16:02:51Z")
> [@](#): > > Our American cousins must be loving this! Oh, yes… \<\< happy envious sigh \>\> ---
**Author:** ![everton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ecb155/32.png) [@everton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/everton)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2002, 4:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/uk-dopers-is-parliament-always-this-much-fun-mr-duncan-smith-vs-his-own-party/135606/25 "2002-11-07T16:06:16Z")
Hmm. Nice bit of fascist iconography there. You could do a bit of damage to someone’s head with those eagle wings too couldn’t you? We’ve actually got three maces - [one](http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk_politics/a-z_of_parliament/m-o/82544.stm) in the House of Commons (that’s the one we’ve been talking about), and [two more](http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk_politics/a-z_of_parliament/m-o/82548.stm) in the House of Lords. There’s no chance of the Lords’ ones being waved around though, 'cause all the members there look like Mr Burns. ---
**Author:** ![hawthorne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c89c15/32.png) [@hawthorne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hawthorne)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2002, 4:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/uk-dopers-is-parliament-always-this-much-fun-mr-duncan-smith-vs-his-own-party/135606/26 "2002-11-07T16:09:53Z")
We used to have a mace in the Victorian parliament. According to legend it was mislaid in a brothel. > [@](#): > > _Andy_ > I think Maggie’s best was invoking the second derivative in parliament, arguing that the irate of increase\* in unemployment was decreasing. That’s nothing. On a board at work is a fabulous statement from the “new economy” era: _the rate of technological progress is increasing._ ---
**Author:** ![Steve\_Wright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@Steve\_Wright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Steve_Wright)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2002, 4:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/uk-dopers-is-parliament-always-this-much-fun-mr-duncan-smith-vs-his-own-party/135606/27 "2002-11-07T16:42:19Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by chukhung \* > \*\*We have a mace! > \*\* So you do… but you keep it in the wrong place. You don’t want it up there next to the Speaker, you want it out in the middle where people can get to it. Livens up debates no end. ---
**Author:** ![rocking\_chair](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rocking_chair/32/2918_2.png) [@rocking\_chair](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rocking_chair)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2002, 12:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/uk-dopers-is-parliament-always-this-much-fun-mr-duncan-smith-vs-his-own-party/135606/28 "2002-11-08T00:24:07Z")
the us mace looks like it could put an eye out. that eagle design looks a bit dangerous. things were a bit wilder in the good old days… back when strom was just a lad. the founding father and sons didn’t always have water in the pitchers. senator sumner was attacked with a cane in the senate. it took him quite a while to recover. things were a bit wilder in the 1850’s. now we just wheel out strom, who would never in a hundred years, come up with a brilliant turn of phrase. murally dyslexic, sheer genius. ---
**Author:** ![Duck\_Duck\_Goose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/50afbb/32.png) [@Duck\_Duck\_Goose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duck_Duck_Goose)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2002, 5:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/uk-dopers-is-parliament-always-this-much-fun-mr-duncan-smith-vs-his-own-party/135606/29 "2002-11-08T05:37:35Z")
…he’s still not dead? \<\< checks Google \>\> Jeepers. I could’ve sworn he had to be dead. He’ll be 100 on December 5. ---
**Author:** ![TheLoadedDog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/35a633/32.png) [@TheLoadedDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheLoadedDog)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2002, 9:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/uk-dopers-is-parliament-always-this-much-fun-mr-duncan-smith-vs-his-own-party/135606/30 "2002-11-08T09:26:51Z")
I’ll see your “murally dyslexic”, and raise you a “He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up,” courtesy of former Australian Prime Minister Paul Keating. Check out [this site](http://www.webcity.com.au/keating/) for some classic Keating insults. > [@](#): > > On former Liberal and Opposition Leader (now Prime Minister), John Howard : > > “What we have got is a dead carcass, swinging in the breeze, but nobody will cut it down to replace him.” > > “He’s wound up like a thousand day clock…” > > “…the brain-damaged Leader of the Opposition…” > > (Of his 1986 leadership) “From this day onwards, Howard will wear his leadership like a crown of thorns, and in the parliament I’ll do everything to crucify him.” > > “He is the greatest job and investment destroyer since the bubonic plague.” > > “But I will never get to the stage of wanting to lead the nation standing in front of the mirror each morning clipping the eyebrows here and clipping the eyebrows there with Janette and the kids: It’s like ‘Spot the eyebrows’.” > > “I am not like the Leader of the Opposition. I did not slither out of the Cabinet room like a mangy maggot…” > > \ > > On former Liberal Party Leader and Shadow Treasurer, Andrew Peacock: > “The Leader of the Opposition is more to be pitied than despised, the poor old thing.” “The Liberal Party ought to put him down like a faithful dog because he is of no use to it and of no use to the nation.” > > “We’re not interested in the views of painted, perfumed gigolos.” > > “It is the first time the Honourable Gentleman has got out from under the sunlamp.” > > “Bib and Bub. The Leader of the Opposition and his Deputy.” Aah, those were the days. ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2002, 9:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/uk-dopers-is-parliament-always-this-much-fun-mr-duncan-smith-vs-his-own-party/135606/31 "2002-11-08T21:50:03Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Duck Duck Goose \* > \*\*…he’s still not dead? > > \<\< checks Google \>\> > > Jeepers. I could’ve sworn he had to be dead. > > He’ll be 100 on December 5. \*\* He’s actually been dead since the 50s, but his body just hasn’t figured it out yet. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/uk-dopers-is-parliament-always-this-much-fun-mr-duncan-smith-vs-his-own-party/135606.md?page=1)