# UK vs Texas **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [October 17, 2004, 11:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/uk-vs-texas/269731 "2004-10-17T23:15:49Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![t-keela](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a3d4f5/32.png) [@t-keela](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/t-keela)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2004, 9:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/uk-vs-texas/269731/61 "2004-10-18T21:04:05Z")
> [@TitoBenito](#): > > I’ve lived in Texas all my life and have touched a gun twice. One was a some kind of yugoslavian rifle my friend collected the other was the one I sold when all the hunting people called in sick at the sporting good store I worked at . I was the gun man for 60 glorious minutes. It was probibly illegal. > > Redneck: Now what kinda bullet does this one here fire. > Me: Large ones I imagine. Heres the gun maybe you can tell. It wasn’t by chance the first weekend in November was it? ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Plastic\_Ninja](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f07891/32.png) [@Little\_Plastic\_Ninja](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Plastic_Ninja)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2004, 9:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/uk-vs-texas/269731/62 "2004-10-18T21:07:30Z")
> [@Exgineer](#): > > I can see it now… > > “Look out, Earl, that guy’s wearing a _scarf_.” I very nearly washed my monitor in Mountain Dew at that one. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![owlstretchingtime](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/958977/32.png) [@owlstretchingtime](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/owlstretchingtime)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2004, 8:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/uk-vs-texas/269731/63 "2004-10-19T08:57:39Z")
> [@Exgineer](#): > > I can see it now… > > “Look out, Earl, that guy’s wearing a _scarf_.” A modern day Paul Revere would say “The Burberry coats are comin’ The Burberry coats are comin’” And it would appear that when there’s some serious fightin’ to be done you need British men in skirts. The Black Watch even have a fabric named after them. Now that’s macho. It would also appear from this thread that you have no need for us to import mad cow disease. How d’ya think y’all will feel about being part of the European Union? ---
**Author:** ![calm\_kiwi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9fc348/32.png) [@calm\_kiwi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/calm_kiwi)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2004, 9:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/uk-vs-texas/269731/64 "2004-10-19T09:13:30Z")
> [@t-keela](#): > > The biggest problem I see with taking the fight to 'em is that I was taught to NEVER hit a woman. Over there I don’t know if I could tell which is which? > > 😉 You have never seen a page 3 girl have you? ---
**Author:** ![owlstretchingtime](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/958977/32.png) [@owlstretchingtime](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/owlstretchingtime)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2004, 9:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/uk-vs-texas/269731/65 "2004-10-19T09:36:36Z")
Of course they can’t tell the difference between men and women. They appear to have _issues_ judging from this site [http://www.gaylordhotels.com/gaylordtexan/packages/](http://www.gaylordhotels.com/gaylordtexan/packages/) We could suply the catering for this establishment. Y’all like faggots dontcha? ---
**Author:** ![calm\_kiwi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9fc348/32.png) [@calm\_kiwi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/calm_kiwi)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2004, 9:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/uk-vs-texas/269731/66 "2004-10-19T09:39:18Z")
How bout jellied eels? ---
**Author:** ![owlstretchingtime](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/958977/32.png) [@owlstretchingtime](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/owlstretchingtime)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2004, 9:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/uk-vs-texas/269731/67 "2004-10-19T09:49:57Z")
> [@calm kiwi](#): > > How bout jellied eels? Yum yum! (for those trying to imagine these - think inner tubes marinated in Vaseline). We eat these for fun. Still think you can take us? ---
**Author:** ![Exgineer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a88e4f/32.png) [@Exgineer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Exgineer)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2004, 2:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/uk-vs-texas/269731/68 "2004-10-19T14:36:04Z")
Ah well, the eels explain everything. You guys must have a serious need for barbecue. It’s the wrong meat, but it’s still barbecue. ---
**Author:** ![medstar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f07891/32.png) [@medstar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/medstar)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2004, 1:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/uk-vs-texas/269731/69 "2004-10-20T01:36:08Z")
> [@](#): > > and BTW a lot of the women are gonna be shootin at your ass too. We teach our kids to hunt at an early age as well. You don’t wanna go there. You’ll have over half the population up in arms. As an amused observer in Virginia, I’d like to suggest that the Brits use some dirty pool: Send Jeremy Northam, Sean Bean, Robson Green, etc, over first to “soften up” the opposition, get a “lay of the land” and end resistance to British rule that way. Man, you guys just gotta do stuff the hard way, don’t you? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Ryan\_Liam](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ryan_liam/32/3965_2.png) [@Ryan\_Liam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ryan_Liam)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2004, 1:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/uk-vs-texas/269731/70 "2004-10-20T13:03:14Z")
> [@](#): > > The Brits unleash their secret weapons on Texans - Marmite and cricket. Children are taken hostage and forced to eat toast spread with Marmite. Thats Aussie, not Brit. ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2004, 1:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/uk-vs-texas/269731/71 "2004-10-20T13:05:25Z")
> [@Ryan\_Liam](#): > > Thats Aussie, not Brit. What are you talking about? Marmite is British (though the Kiwis have a different product of the same name). The Aussies have Vegemite. 😕 Are you really from Manchester?? ---
**Author:** ![Ryan\_Liam](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ryan_liam/32/3965_2.png) [@Ryan\_Liam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ryan_Liam)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2004, 1:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/uk-vs-texas/269731/72 "2004-10-20T13:37:50Z")
> [@jjimm](#): > > What are you talking about? Marmite is British (though the Kiwis have a different product of the same name). The Aussies have Vegemite. > > 😕 Are you really from Manchester?? We don’t spread toast with marmite, the Aussies do. I know, I went there. Over here, I’ve yet to hear about anyone doing the same thing. ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2004, 1:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/uk-vs-texas/269731/73 "2004-10-20T13:51:55Z")
> [@Ryan\_Liam](#): > > We don’t spread toast with marmite, the Aussies do. I know, I went there. Over here, I’ve yet to hear about anyone doing the same thing. Yes we do. Every sincle British person I know (who eats Marmite) spreads it on toast. Hot buttered toast with a thin/thick scrape of Marmite over the top. Mmmm. That’s how I was brought up eating it in Oxford. Indeed, that’s what it suggests on the jar, or at least used to. Couple of random [examples](http://www.spurgeon.org/~phil/marmite.htm#whatdo): > [@](#): > > A lot of Brits have it on buttered toast. Do take care not to get butter or bread crumbs in the Marmite jar. It makes an unappetizing mess for the next person. [And](http://www.guardian.co.uk/g2/story/0,3604,627368,00.html): > [@](#): > > "The first thing he had done after arriving home was to eat some Marmite on toast. ‘It was pretty good. It’s just one of those things - you get out of the country and it’s all you can think about.’ > > From an interview with Paul Ridout, a British backpacker kidnapped in India by Kashmiri separatists. The Guardian, 1994. And indeed a search for Marmite+Toast in the SDMB archives reveals lots of Brits saying that’s how they eat it (won’t tax the hamsters even more though). Maybe it’s a Manchester thing that you don’t (if so, what _do_ you do with it then?). ---
**Author:** ![Mollie\_Magill](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mollie_magill/32/20882_2.png) [@Mollie\_Magill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mollie_Magill)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2004, 1:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/uk-vs-texas/269731/74 "2004-10-20T13:52:11Z")
> [@Celyn](#): > > Aaarrgghh! :eek: : But the U.K. does not WANT Texas! Too bad. It’s yours. Take it and that slop they claim is barbecue. ---
**Author:** ![Small\_Clanger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9fc348/32.png) [@Small\_Clanger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Small_Clanger)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2004, 1:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/uk-vs-texas/269731/75 "2004-10-20T13:59:30Z")
> [@Ryan\_Liam](#): > > Over here, I’ve yet to hear about anyone doing the same thing. 😕😕😕 [marmite](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=245494&highlight=marmite) [more](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=162372&highlight=marmite) ---
**Author:** ![Exgineer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a88e4f/32.png) [@Exgineer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Exgineer)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2004, 2:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/uk-vs-texas/269731/76 "2004-10-20T14:52:55Z")
Those are some great links, **jjimm** , but you’ve raised another “what the hell?” point here. > [@](#): > > Bovril is cow extract, and its main use is as a flavoring for soups, and as a drink when you put a teaspoon of the stuff in a mug of boiling water. “Cow extract?” What in hell is cow extract? ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2004, 3:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/uk-vs-texas/269731/77 "2004-10-20T15:09:40Z")
I presume it’s produced in the same way that the marvellously named “essence of chicken” that you get in China is. Get a cow, remove the skin, bones, and meat, and boil it down until there’s only goo left. ---
**Author:** ![owlstretchingtime](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/958977/32.png) [@owlstretchingtime](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/owlstretchingtime)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2004, 4:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/uk-vs-texas/269731/78 "2004-10-20T16:11:59Z")
It’s the bits of a cow that aren’t even usable for sausages, boiled up into a sort of treacle which is reconstituted with boilng water and drunk at football matches - it’s called Bovril. We drink it with wagon Wheels. ---
**Author:** ![yojimbo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yojimbo/32/232_2.png) [@yojimbo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yojimbo)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2004, 4:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/uk-vs-texas/269731/79 "2004-10-20T16:26:35Z")
I love Bovril I do. Comfort food extraordinaire IMO as my Ma always gave me a flask of the muck when I was in school. I dipped crackers with jam into it 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Balle\_M](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/13edae/32.png) [@Balle\_M](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Balle_M)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2004, 4:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/uk-vs-texas/269731/80 "2004-10-20T16:46:03Z")
> [@Aesiron](#): > > Does Egypt, Sudan, Guyana, Belize, the West Indies, Yemen, Bhutan, Papua New Guina, Brunei, India, Pakistan, Bangladesh, Iraq, Kuwait, Israel, Oman, Qatar, Malaysia, Singapore, or Australia ring a bell? It’s a safe bet that all of them have worse summers than Texas and Britain held them all. At the same time. Yeah, but this time it won’t be spears and matchlocks vs. Maxim guns. (Which an American had to invent for you anyway…) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/uk-vs-texas/269731.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/uk-vs-texas/269731.md?page=5)