# Ukelele Ike & Flora McFlimsey **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 21, 1999, 6:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ukelele-ike-flora-mcflimsey/9406 "1999-09-21T18:24:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 13\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![WallyM7](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/b5e925/32.png) [@WallyM7](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WallyM7)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 1999, 10:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ukelele-ike-flora-mcflimsey/9406/41 "1999-10-14T22:58:00Z")
Well, thank you, Omni. I wrote a poem for my darling wife. It’s called, “I love You So Much I Could Just Shit.” Call me an incurable romantic… * * * If you’re hot, that’s good. If you’re cool, that’s good. I don’t get it. ---
**Author:** ![WallyM7](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/b5e925/32.png) [@WallyM7](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WallyM7)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 1999, 6:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ukelele-ike-flora-mcflimsey/9406/42 "1999-10-15T06:38:00Z")
Lorgnette. Of course! Glasses on a stick! Up to the top you go. I dub this the Algonquin Round Table thread. We have Benchley and Dot. We need a Levant and a Kaufmann. Maybe one of the Marx boys. Volunteers? * * * Trust me. ---
**Author:** ![Sealemon88](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c68b51/32.png) [@Sealemon88](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sealemon88)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 1999, 12:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ukelele-ike-flora-mcflimsey/9406/43 "1999-10-15T12:39:00Z")
I’ll be Beevis. * * * You say “cheesy” like that’s a **BAD** thing. ---
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 1999, 1:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ukelele-ike-flora-mcflimsey/9406/44 "1999-10-15T13:24:00Z")
Wally, that’s a lovely thought, dear–but we mustn’t forget Ike is a married man (so was Mr. Benchley, by the way). If he’s going to put ANYTHING on this girl’s finger, it’s going to be his eyeball. By the way, we did chat about all of you during our little date–did your ears burn? Your mouses turn red? ---
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 1999, 1:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ukelele-ike-flora-mcflimsey/9406/45 "1999-10-15T13:32:00Z")
Did Ike’s wife know about this date? Did she care? ---
**Author:** ![Ukulele\_Ike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/df788c/32.png) [@Ukulele\_Ike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ukulele_Ike)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 1999, 2:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ukelele-ike-flora-mcflimsey/9406/46 "1999-10-15T14:13:00Z")
That I had a drink with the Honorable Rudolph Giuliani, esteemed Mayor of New York City? Hell no, she was impressed. [dodges heavy desk ornament hurled by Miss McFlimsey] Nah. Check our profiles. Writer, editor, editor/writer. The Missus is one, too. A fairly large percentage of this professional life is cross-gender schmoozing in bars. Of course, if I started hanging around with saxophone-playing dames who lived just down the street, there’d be hell to pay. * * * Uke ---
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 1999, 3:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ukelele-ike-flora-mcflimsey/9406/47 "1999-10-15T15:41:00Z")
Well, the next time you and Flora meet, I think Alphagene, Manhattan and I (and any other New Yorkers) should be there as well (mostly so we can talk about all the other posters, too). ---
**Author:** ![Ukulele\_Ike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/df788c/32.png) [@Ukulele\_Ike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ukulele_Ike)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 1999, 4:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ukelele-ike-flora-mcflimsey/9406/48 "1999-10-15T16:07:00Z")
Hmmmmmm…not too shabby an idea, Mel. If the Ohioans can do it (“Here on the East Coast, dear, we pronounce it ‘Iowans’”) there’s no reason we callow urban sophisticates shouldn’t get together over cocktails and cheese blintzes and carve up our hayseed brothers and sisters… “Did you see what that slack-jawed yokel had to say about the the B-sides of 45s, asexual turkey reproduction, and the existence of a Personal God? Darling, it was simply too-TOO!” Maybe you should start a thread, dangle the worm? ---
**Author:** ![manhattan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/manhattan/32/7_2.png) [@manhattan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/manhattan)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 1999, 4:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ukelele-ike-flora-mcflimsey/9406/49 "1999-10-15T16:09:00Z")
## I agree, but we’d have to go down-market a tad. You and Flora get thrown out of the kinds of places that I can’t even get into. Livin’ on Tums, Vitamin E and Rogaine ---
**Author:** ![Ukulele\_Ike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/df788c/32.png) [@Ukulele\_Ike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ukulele_Ike)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 1999, 4:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ukelele-ike-flora-mcflimsey/9406/50 "1999-10-15T16:54:00Z")
Too bad the last Horn & Hardart closed down. We could have done the tomato soup thing with the free ketchup and hot water. There’s always the Hudson docks. We can pass a bottle of Night Train back and forth and mutter darkly at each other. ---
**Author:** ![UncleBeer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/977dab/32.png) [@UncleBeer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBeer)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 1999, 4:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ukelele-ike-flora-mcflimsey/9406/51 "1999-10-15T16:59:00Z")
Hayseeds? I’ll have ya’ll know we all’d druther be called shitkickers. Ever’un knows folk from states dat begins with a vow’l is shitkickers. Take that you city slickers. * * * “The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind.” - _Humphrey Bogart_ ---
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 1999, 4:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ukelele-ike-flora-mcflimsey/9406/52 "1999-10-15T16:59:00Z")
If we went to Rudy’s on Ninth Ave in Hell’s Kitchen we could get free hot dogs!!! I would prefer the Russian Vodka Room (their motto is “Attitude Adjustment Hour” and they have a nice pianist). Also, for happy hour (M-F until 7 pm), a carafe of homemade vodka is half price!! Also, I think they’d let Manhattan in and I personally GUARANTEE that Uke and Flora wouldn’t get kicked out (unless you defaced the Lenin painting). Uke, I’ll start another thread. ---
**Author:** ![WallyM7](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/b5e925/32.png) [@WallyM7](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WallyM7)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 1999, 3:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ukelele-ike-flora-mcflimsey/9406/53 "1999-10-16T15:04:00Z")
Note to Miss McFlimsey: Yes, of course I was aware that Ike is maritally challenged. I meant for the rainbow to serve as a token of admiration and affection, not that encirclement we call the wedding ring. Simply too common for a lady of your bearing. * * * I have lots of willpower. I’m just too strong to be a slave to it. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ukelele-ike-flora-mcflimsey/9406.md?page=2)