# "Ukulele Ike Has Left the Building . . . " **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 30, 2000, 6:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ukulele-ike-has-left-the-building/24196 "2000-06-30T18:54:43Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 18\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Arnold\_Winkelried](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Arnold\_Winkelried](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arnold_Winkelried)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2000, 6:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ukulele-ike-has-left-the-building/24196/61 "2000-07-05T18:06:09Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Ukulele Ike \* > I noticed the typo too, and had a merry giggle over it, but **Arnold Dubya** have a Gentleman’s Agreement; he doesn’t point out mine, I don’t point out his. I don’t remember any agreement, and I’m not a gentleman. And that should be “Arnold Dubya **and I** have…”. ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2000, 6:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ukulele-ike-has-left-the-building/24196/62 "2000-07-05T18:37:34Z")
Well, I hear Ukulele Ike is the one who’s disabling the damned Board today, because he’s so afraid we’ll really ferret out his Deep Dark Secret . . . ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2000, 11:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ukulele-ike-has-left-the-building/24196/63 "2000-07-05T23:40:18Z")
All About Eve (and…oh yeah, Ike) Both Ukulele Ike and Eve played important roles on the 70’s TV sitcom hit _Different Strokes_. A sample from Ukulele Ike’s lines : _"Whatchoo talkin’ 'bout, Cecil?_ ---
**Author:** ![Kat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b19c9b/32.png) [@Kat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kat)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2000, 2:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ukulele-ike-has-left-the-building/24196/64 "2000-07-06T02:01:05Z")
> [@](#): > > Well, I hear Ukulele Ike is the one who’s disabling the damned Board today, because he’s so afraid we’ll really ferret out his Deep Dark Secret . . . Does that Secret have something to do with ferrets? That’s what I heard from my mother’s brother’s roommate’s iguana’s hairdresser. ---
**Author:** ![Great\_Dave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/46a35a/32.png) [@Great\_Dave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Great_Dave)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2000, 5:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ukulele-ike-has-left-the-building/24196/65 "2000-07-06T05:24:35Z")
I heard that Ike was the guy behind the guy behind Survivor. Or that he’s really Rick Rockwell. Maybe both. Isn’t Eve a madam? With a name like that, she must be. Or she sells dildos and other sex toys. ---
**Author:** ![TVeblen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/4bbf92/32.png) [@TVeblen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TVeblen)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2000, 5:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ukulele-ike-has-left-the-building/24196/66 "2000-07-06T05:48:10Z")
Uke an editor, an erudite New Yorker w/ leather patches on his jackets? A cosmopolitan type who plays multiple instruments…in ways we don’t even want to contemplate? HA! He’s a potbellied, ripped T-shirt scratching doofus in Biloxi, shacked up with his girlfriend, an inflatable sheep named Doris. He hasn’t been the same since he picked up that matchbook cover: “call this 800 number and _you too_ can be a dazzling urbanite!” And Eve? Eve had us all fooled. She’s actually SqrlCub! She claimed to be offline to “paint her apartment”. No. She was at the Omaha Asner Con. I’ve been so blind. Veb ---
**Author:** ![Biggirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biggirl/32/3294_2.png) [@Biggirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biggirl)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2000, 1:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ukulele-ike-has-left-the-building/24196/67 "2000-07-06T13:01:25Z")
Ike has a terrible fear of falling into the east river and drowning. This is why he’s always wearing those vests. They’re inflatable. Eve is a CIA operative who deals with HMO’s. She’ll get me my job back when my boss finds out I was at his computer giving out state secrets. ---
**Author:** ![Ukulele\_Ike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/df788c/32.png) [@Ukulele\_Ike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ukulele_Ike)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2000, 3:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ukulele-ike-has-left-the-building/24196/68 "2000-07-06T15:22:57Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Arnold Winkelried \* > \*\*I don’t remember any agreement, and I’m not a gentleman. And that should be “Arnold Dubya **and I** have…”. \*\* Whoops, typo! That should be “I don’t remember any agreement, and I’m not a gentleman. **But I certainly am looking forward to Uke’s special trombone solo at my wedding ceremony.** And that should be ‘Arnold Dubya and I have…’” ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2000, 3:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ukulele-ike-has-left-the-building/24196/69 "2000-07-06T15:29:31Z")
By the way, Ike has just handed me one of his cock-and-bull stories about “going out of town on a business meeting” for a few days. Coincidence that Clinton simultaneously announces a Mideast Peace Summit at Camp David? I think not . . . Or maybe this has something to do with Tina Turner retiring . . . ---
**Author:** ![Lux\_Fiat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/bc79bd/32.png) [@Lux\_Fiat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lux_Fiat)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2000, 9:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ukulele-ike-has-left-the-building/24196/70 "2000-07-06T21:18:53Z")
> [@](#): > > Or maybe this has something to do with Tina Turner retiring . . . You know, I always _was_ a little creeped out when he kept saying, “Come back to Ike, baby,” at the Dopefests. But I never made the connection until now. ---
**Author:** ![Arnold\_Winkelried](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Arnold\_Winkelried](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arnold_Winkelried)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2000, 11:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ukulele-ike-has-left-the-building/24196/71 "2000-07-06T23:04:18Z")
Mr. Ukulele Ike, a trombone solo at my wedding? I’m honoured! Nothing could give me more pleasure. (slowly edges towards the door, and opens it with his hand behind his back to let in the men with the butterfly net) ---
**Author:** ![pluto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f08c70/32.png) [@pluto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pluto)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2000, 11:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ukulele-ike-has-left-the-building/24196/72 "2000-07-06T23:49:25Z")
I have it on good authority that **Ukulele Ike** and **Eve** were seen together in Frostbite Falls asking about “moose and squirrel”. ---
**Author:** ![London\_Calling](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/49beb7/32.png) [@London\_Calling](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/London_Calling)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2000, 12:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ukulele-ike-has-left-the-building/24196/73 "2000-07-07T00:11:37Z")
MacEnroe’s commentating at Wimbledon at the moment and is bemoaning the injuries to his Davis Cup team - did Ike leave with his balls ? I understand New Yorker’s walk funny but someone must know. ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2000, 3:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ukulele-ike-has-left-the-building/24196/74 "2000-07-07T03:55:59Z")
I heard that Ike wrote the scripts \*Leonard Part Six \* and \*Ishtar \* ---
**Author:** ![Persephone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ecc23a/32.png) [@Persephone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Persephone)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2000, 4:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ukulele-ike-has-left-the-building/24196/75 "2000-07-07T04:03:13Z")
Bond. Ike Bond. ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2000, 1:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ukulele-ike-has-left-the-building/24196/76 "2000-09-16T01:02:59Z")
I know, this thread is old as hell, but I want to talk about Ike, too. He’s…he’s… **HE’S KYLE’S BROTHER!!** He’s a two year old Jewish Canadian boy who’s been circumcised. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Zenster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/cdc98d/32.png) [@Zenster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zenster)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2000, 1:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ukulele-ike-has-left-the-building/24196/77 "2000-09-16T01:55:51Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Homer \* > \*\ ***I** think that **Ukelele Ike** actually writes those **cheesy Hollywood columns** that highlight anything that might be of interest to the **readers** so that they can just skim through to the **stars** that they want to hear about. > > – **Tim** \*\* > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Eve \* > \*\*Well, I hear Ukulele Ike is the one who’s disabling the damned Board today, because he’s so afraid we’ll really ferret out his Deep Dark Secret . . . \*\* Yes **Homer** it’s _cheesy_, and yes **Eve** , it is a _deep dark secret_. But what I was told is that **Ukulele Ike** raced off to Italy after reading [“this”](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?postid=738290) thread. ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2000, 6:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ukulele-ike-has-left-the-building/24196/78 "2000-09-17T06:02:03Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by Zenster \* > Yes **Homer** it’s cheesy, and yes **Eve** , it is a deep dark secret. But what I was told is that **Ukulele Ike** raced off to Italy after reading [“this”](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?postid=738290) thread._\* Scary. And unwholesome. It’s just unwholsome. It goes against our moralistic value system. Speaking of disgusting dairy products, I heard that Ike is the pilsbury doughboy and that one of his fetishes include being tickled…in places I will not deign to mention. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ukulele-ike-has-left-the-building/24196.md?page=3)