# Ukulele Ike is a Busy, Busy Beaver **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 7, 2003, 3:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ukulele-ike-is-a-busy-busy-beaver/173682 "2003-05-07T15:58:16Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2003, 3:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ukulele-ike-is-a-busy-busy-beaver/173682/1 "2003-05-07T15:58:16Z")
You must have noticed the recent dearth of **Ukulele Ike** hereabouts . . . He and I keep in touch, and I thought I’d let you know that he is way too busy these days to check in with the likes of us. He tells me he gets up at 4:30 a.m. to start his daily chores; but I know he’s joshing, as there _is_ no such thing as “4:30 a.m.” I thought I would start a Chores List, so we could all pitch in and help him out! I volunteer to take the kiddies, Little Banjo and Pianola, to get their haircuts. I know this guy in the village who does great beehive hairdos, and can even re-create 1930s finger-waves. They’ll be the envy of the playground! Anyone else? ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2003, 4:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ukulele-ike-is-a-busy-busy-beaver/173682/2 "2003-05-07T16:00:57Z")
I’ll read all his junk mail and spam. ---
**Author:** ![Soul\_Brother\_Number\_Two](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/soul_brother_number_two/32/3515_2.png) [@Soul\_Brother\_Number\_Two](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Soul_Brother_Number_Two)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2003, 4:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ukulele-ike-is-a-busy-busy-beaver/173682/3 "2003-05-07T16:02:09Z")
Eve said BEAVER! (blushes in horror) ---
**Author:** ![LolaCocaCola](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7cd45c/32.png) [@LolaCocaCola](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LolaCocaCola)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2003, 4:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ukulele-ike-is-a-busy-busy-beaver/173682/4 "2003-05-07T16:07:21Z")
I shall darn his lederhosen. ---
**Author:** ![Hamadryad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/6de8d8/32.png) [@Hamadryad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hamadryad)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2003, 4:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ukulele-ike-is-a-busy-busy-beaver/173682/5 "2003-05-07T16:09:39Z")
I shall damn his torpedoes. ---
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2003, 4:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ukulele-ike-is-a-busy-busy-beaver/173682/6 "2003-05-07T16:13:01Z")
Can I be in charge of hitting the “snooze” alarm? Either that or I’ll feed the cats. ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2003, 4:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ukulele-ike-is-a-busy-busy-beaver/173682/7 "2003-05-07T16:23:27Z")
I’ll refill his tin of mustache wax. ---
**Author:** ![screech-owl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/82dd89/32.png) [@screech-owl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/screech-owl)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2003, 4:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ukulele-ike-is-a-busy-busy-beaver/173682/8 "2003-05-07T16:28:15Z")
I shall alphabetize the spice racks. After I iron and refold the road maps. ---
**Author:** ![plnnr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7ea924/32.png) [@plnnr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/plnnr)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2003, 4:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ukulele-ike-is-a-busy-busy-beaver/173682/9 "2003-05-07T16:31:00Z")
I shall make mad, passionate love to Ms. Ike. ---
**Author:** ![carrot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9de0a6/32.png) [@carrot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carrot)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2003, 4:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ukulele-ike-is-a-busy-busy-beaver/173682/10 "2003-05-07T16:51:10Z")
I can play the Ukulele. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2003, 4:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ukulele-ike-is-a-busy-busy-beaver/173682/11 "2003-05-07T16:51:46Z")
I’ll fertilize too as long as it’s the yard. ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2003, 5:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ukulele-ike-is-a-busy-busy-beaver/173682/12 "2003-05-07T17:15:59Z")
I’ll wind the clocks. ---
**Author:** ![NicePete](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ee7513/32.png) [@NicePete](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NicePete)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2003, 5:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ukulele-ike-is-a-busy-busy-beaver/173682/13 "2003-05-07T17:45:05Z")
I’ll make his cigar ashes for him. ---
**Author:** ![Jonathan\_Chance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jonathan_chance/32/701_2.png) [@Jonathan\_Chance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jonathan_Chance)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2003, 6:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ukulele-ike-is-a-busy-busy-beaver/173682/14 "2003-05-07T18:01:57Z")
Contrary to popular belief, some of us **routinely** get up at 4:30. ---
**Author:** ![Billdo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/billdo/32/315_2.png) [@Billdo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Billdo)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2003, 6:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ukulele-ike-is-a-busy-busy-beaver/173682/15 "2003-05-07T18:08:34Z")
I’ll be the one who doesn’t button the bottom button on his vests. ---
**Author:** ![Opengrave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/919ad9/32.png) [@Opengrave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Opengrave)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2003, 6:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ukulele-ike-is-a-busy-busy-beaver/173682/16 "2003-05-07T18:10:35Z")
I’ll make sure the coffe pot is always full of fresh, hot, yummy, coffee. ---
**Author:** ![Lao\_Tsu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e79b87/32.png) [@Lao\_Tsu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lao_Tsu)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2003, 6:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ukulele-ike-is-a-busy-busy-beaver/173682/17 "2003-05-07T18:11:40Z")
I’ll put up the cyclone fence around his beaver. ---
**Author:** ![Zenster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/cdc98d/32.png) [@Zenster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zenster)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2003, 6:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ukulele-ike-is-a-busy-busy-beaver/173682/18 "2003-05-07T18:12:50Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Eve \* > … He tells me he gets up at 4:30 a.m. to start his daily chores; but I know he’s joshing, as there _is_ no such thing as “4:30 a.m.” … **4:30?!?** [crotchety old geezer] Why … I haven’t gotten up that early since I was young enough to stay up that late! [/crotchety old geezer] And I shall press **Ike** ’s suits. Preferrably, up against **Eve** ’s quivering body while I’m wearing them. ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2003, 6:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ukulele-ike-is-a-busy-busy-beaver/173682/19 "2003-05-07T18:15:57Z")
I shall Remember The Alamo, on his behalf. Heck, I’ll even Remember The _Maine_. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![delphica](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e9a140/32.png) [@delphica](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/delphica)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2003, 6:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ukulele-ike-is-a-busy-busy-beaver/173682/20 "2003-05-07T18:18:17Z")
I shall shiver his timbers. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ukulele-ike-is-a-busy-busy-beaver/173682.md?page=2)