# Ulp! That was even WORSE than I remembered **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [June 23, 2009, 3:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ulp-that-was-even-worse-than-i-remembered/500683 "2009-06-23T03:57:29Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 19\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![joebuck20](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/74df32/32.png) [@joebuck20](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/joebuck20)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2009, 5:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ulp-that-was-even-worse-than-i-remembered/500683/101 "2009-11-09T17:27:37Z")
“No Retreat, No Surrender” probably most famous for being JCVD’s first film. I was 9 when I first saw it and thought it was the awesomest movie ever made. For those who are unfamiliar with it, it’s the tale of a bullied kid who learns to fight from the ghost of Bruce Lee. JCVD plays the bad guy, a Russian kickboxer. The kid kicks his ass in the ring at the end, thus defending all that is great about America while also getting the girl. I watched it a few months ago, and, man, was it awful. The plot was paper thin, the bad guys laughable (and not in a deliciously evil good way - just laughable), the dialogue atrocious and the acting non-existent. Oh, and did I mention the acting was non-existent. ---
**Author:** ![Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/intergalactic_gladiator/32/112_2.png) [@Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Intergalactic_Gladiator)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2009, 5:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ulp-that-was-even-worse-than-i-remembered/500683/102 "2009-11-09T17:38:21Z")
I keep thinking about all these shows I used to watch that seem so stiff or lame now. CHiPs, Duke of Hazzard, Buck Rogers, and even Star Trek TNG. What’s going to happen in 10-20 years when we rewatch the stuff we’re watching now? ---
**Author:** ![HelloKitty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ecccb3/32.png) [@HelloKitty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HelloKitty)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2009, 5:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ulp-that-was-even-worse-than-i-remembered/500683/103 "2009-11-09T17:57:43Z")
I think we need an _Excalibur_ appreciation thread! That movie does hold up really well, it’s one of my favorites. While I love the comedy of _Arthur_ starring Dudley Moore and John Geilgud, the “drunk humor” of the time did not age well. I think there was even a couple scenes of Arthur driving drunk thru the streets of New York!! ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2009, 6:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ulp-that-was-even-worse-than-i-remembered/500683/104 "2009-11-09T18:12:48Z")
> [@joebuck20](#): > > “No Retreat, No Surrender” probably most famous for being JCVD’s first film. I was 9 when I first saw it and thought it was the awesomest movie ever made. For those who are unfamiliar with it, it’s the tale of a bullied kid who learns to fight from the ghost of Bruce Lee. JCVD plays the bad guy, a Russian kickboxer. The kid kicks his ass in the ring at the end, thus defending all that is great about America while also getting the girl. > I watched it a few months ago, and, man, was it awful. The plot was paper thin, the bad guys laughable (and not in a deliciously evil good way - just laughable), the dialogue atrocious and the acting non-existent. Oh, and did I mention the acting was non-existent. Have you never seen any other Van Damme movies or something? ---
**Author:** ![Hypno-Toad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b2d939/32.png) [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2009, 6:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ulp-that-was-even-worse-than-i-remembered/500683/105 "2009-11-09T18:27:50Z")
A flick I loved as a kid was **Flash Gordon**. I look back on it now and wonder if maybe I was high while I was in that theater. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2009, 8:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ulp-that-was-even-worse-than-i-remembered/500683/106 "2009-11-09T20:25:55Z")
> [@HelloKitty](#): > > I think we need an _Excalibur_ appreciation thread! That movie does hold up really well, it’s one of my favorites… Your wish is my command, my liege: ["Excalibur" appreciation thread - Cafe Society - Straight Dope Message Board](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=539278) ---
**Author:** ![BurnMeUp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/91b2a8/32.png) [@BurnMeUp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BurnMeUp)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2009, 8:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ulp-that-was-even-worse-than-i-remembered/500683/107 "2009-11-09T20:28:40Z")
> [@AboutAsWeirdAsYouCanGet](#): > > You mean a skater dude coming of age rebel movie? LOL You’re thinking of Gleaming the Cube. Pump Up the Volume was the one about Pirate Radio, which aside from the film being cheesy, is as relevent a concept to kids today as if he was a conterfeit buggywhip salesman. ---
**Author:** ![Spoke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e57/32.png) [@Spoke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoke)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2009, 8:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ulp-that-was-even-worse-than-i-remembered/500683/108 "2009-11-09T20:41:49Z")
I think nearly all Mel Brooks movies fall under the heading “Hilarious if you’re 12, but not much beyond that.” _Young Frankenstein_ is the only exception for me. (The only one I still like.) ---
**Author:** ![UncleRojelio](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/unclerojelio/32/3160_2.png) [@UncleRojelio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleRojelio)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2009, 8:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ulp-that-was-even-worse-than-i-remembered/500683/109 "2009-11-09T20:52:23Z")
> [@Gotterfunken](#): > > If you want truly awful, however, try Conan the Destroyer instead–with Wilt Chamberlain and Grace Jones, as well as the most annoying sidekick (played by Tracey Walter). Painfully bad. I’ll see your _Conan the Destroyer_ and raise you _[Red Sonja](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0089893/)_. ETA: Oh shit! Robert Rodriguez is [remaking it](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Red_Sonja#Film)! ---
**Author:** ![sweeteviljesus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/898d66/32.png) [@sweeteviljesus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sweeteviljesus)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2009, 9:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ulp-that-was-even-worse-than-i-remembered/500683/110 "2009-11-09T21:12:56Z")
Salem’s Lot. It is hard to believe that it was that awful. Rob ---
**Author:** ![bauble](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/f6c823/32.png) [@bauble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bauble)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2009, 9:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ulp-that-was-even-worse-than-i-remembered/500683/111 "2009-11-09T21:13:14Z")
> [@joebuck20](#): > > “No Retreat, No Surrender” probably most famous for being JCVD’s first film. I was 9 when I first saw it and thought it was the awesomest movie ever made. For those who are unfamiliar with it, it’s the tale of a bullied kid who learns to fight from the ghost of Bruce Lee. JCVD plays the bad guy, a Russian kickboxer. The kid kicks his ass in the ring at the end, thus defending all that is great about America while also getting the girl. > I watched it a few months ago, and, man, was it awful. The plot was paper thin, the bad guys laughable (and not in a deliciously evil good way - just laughable), the dialogue atrocious and the acting non-existent. Oh, and did I mention the acting was non-existent. It may be famous for being JCVD’s first film, but, according to IMDB, his first movie role was in Monaco Forever as Gay Karate Man: [http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0087739/](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0087739/) ---
**Author:** ![shiftless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9c0ed/32.png) [@shiftless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/shiftless)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2009, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ulp-that-was-even-worse-than-i-remembered/500683/112 "2009-11-09T21:21:37Z")
Sigh - _Lost in Space_ - both the TV show and the movie Loved the TV show as a kid, even owned the toys. Maybe it worked on the small black & white screen, but I saw an episode a few years ago and was horrified. Could I have really sat through that tripe night after night? Why didn’t my parents stop me? Due to my extensive experience in bad, bad SciFi I knew Black Hole was going to suck and i went anyway. ---
**Author:** ![joebuck20](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/74df32/32.png) [@joebuck20](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/joebuck20)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2009, 9:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ulp-that-was-even-worse-than-i-remembered/500683/113 "2009-11-09T21:30:53Z")
> [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](#): > > Have you never seen any other Van Damme movies or something? His other movies may not be high art, but they at least have good production values and halfway decent acting and give you the sense that they were made by someone who knows a thing or two about filmmaking . NRNS looks like it was made by a high school kid who was trying, unsuccessfully, to emulate his favorite kung-fu flicks. ---
**Author:** ![joebuck20](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/74df32/32.png) [@joebuck20](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/joebuck20)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2009, 9:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ulp-that-was-even-worse-than-i-remembered/500683/114 "2009-11-09T21:36:44Z")
Alf was my favorite show when I was in elementary school. But a lot of those jokes just don’t work well for anyone older than 12. Yes, they do throw a few gags in there that are obviously geared toward mom and dad, but a lot of those are references to '80s pop culture and only make the show feel dated. I got some of the DVDs from Netflix a while back and I just couldn’t get into it. ---
**Author:** ![jali](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ecae2f/32.png) [@jali](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jali)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2009, 9:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ulp-that-was-even-worse-than-i-remembered/500683/115 "2009-11-09T21:49:35Z")
> [@lizardling](#): > > Goonies. > > I remember thinking it was a fun adventure movie. I was seven. > > I watched it again a few months ago. Dear good Og. It wasn’t worth the netflix postage. 😛 Awww. I watched it first with my daughters, then my sons and it was on TV a few months ago. I still love the Goonies. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Evil\_Prince\_Zorte](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e95f7d/32.png) [@The\_Evil\_Prince\_Zorte](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Evil_Prince_Zorte)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2009, 9:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ulp-that-was-even-worse-than-i-remembered/500683/116 "2009-11-09T21:53:41Z")
I just saw Maximilian and Vincent recently at a Disney convention. Max wasn’t as large and menacing as I remembered, but then he wasn’t floating off the ground with spinning blades of death. It was cool to see the real ones, I had the action figures as a kid. We also had the ship from Space 1999, though I don’t remember seeing the show. My best friend and I went to see a movie with his father called Super Fuzz in the early 80s that we both loved. Oddly enough, his dad didn’t seem to like it too much. I’ve always wondered how that one would hold up. I haven’t been able to sit through the original Battlestar Galactica even though it was a favorite when it was originally on. But even as an eight year old I could tell that Galactica 1980 sucked. ---
**Author:** ![Morbo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/morbo/32/389_2.png) [@Morbo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morbo)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2009, 1:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ulp-that-was-even-worse-than-i-remembered/500683/117 "2009-11-10T01:17:31Z")
This thread makes me a little sad. **Logan’s Run**? **Flash Gordon**? Wow - two of my favorites, own 'em both, love 'em in all their awesomeness. For me, this was fairly recent: a few months ago in preparation for the remake Sci-Fi or some channel showed the entire run of the original **Land Of The Lost**. I loved that show when I was five or so. I defy you to get through a couple of minutes. I knew I was in trouble when instead of nostalgically enjoying the [intro](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qSKIuJWRMaI&feature=related), I was gazing slack-jawed at the piss-poor job. In the _intro_. We’re talking superimposing a raft onto what has to be runoff from a garden hose. Boulders that are clearly pebbles. A 100% rubber T-Rex. (Make sure you stick it out for the scary final shot). But it’s not the foam dinosaurs or the Grade Z superimposing that will force you to look away - it’s the acting. The acting isn’t even acting - it’s more like a read-through at day 1 of rehearsal. That scream as they’re falling in the intro - let’s just say I would sound a _little_ more upset if I were indeed falling 1,000 feel down a waterfall. Their underwhelming reaction to waking up next to a **dinosaur** - “oh!” [It gets no better](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pad4HWlKSS0). We’re talking a High School play you’d walk out on. ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2009, 3:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ulp-that-was-even-worse-than-i-remembered/500683/118 "2009-11-10T03:30:17Z")
> [@RealityChuck](#): > > Generally, things I though was good as a kid still hold up just fine for me. About the only exception I can think of was **My Favorite Martian** , which I really liked a lot, but now looks extremely hammy and unfunny. The problem was in casting Bill Bixby, a competent dramatic actor but a snooze at comedy. Had Uncle Martin (Ray Walston) been discovered by Mrs Brown (Pamela Britton) it would’ve been FUNNY. They were actors who knew how to carry funny. Bixby kept dragging the nonsense into reality, and that’s not good in a comedy. ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2009, 3:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ulp-that-was-even-worse-than-i-remembered/500683/119 "2009-11-10T03:35:11Z")
> [@Morbo](#): > > For me, this was fairly recent: a few months ago in preparation for the remake Sci-Fi or some channel showed the entire run of the original **Land Of The Lost**. In your favor, you are comparing a crappy Saturday-morning program with your expectations for something aimed at adults. Were you to compare it with the recent Hollywood Blockbuster starring Will Farrell you might allow that it lacked professionalism, but at least it didn’t blow chunks. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ulp-that-was-even-worse-than-i-remembered/500683.md?page=5)