# Ultimate Rochambo Fighter Arena **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 3, 2000, 4:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ultimate-rochambo-fighter-arena/39513 "2000-11-03T04:12:34Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 10
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2001, 11:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ultimate-rochambo-fighter-arena/39513/181 "2001-01-11T11:45:20Z")
BTW, **Busta** , I’d like to appropriate your commentary for my .sig. I promise to wear it proudly, at least until something better comes along. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2001, 11:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ultimate-rochambo-fighter-arena/39513/182 "2001-01-11T11:50:56Z")
…or unless I forget to click the “Show Signature” box… ---
**Author:** ![TKD2DAN](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/dbc845/32.png) [@TKD2DAN](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TKD2DAN)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2001, 2:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ultimate-rochambo-fighter-arena/39513/183 "2001-01-11T14:34:33Z")
Crawling back into the ring, barely surviveing the onsluaght released by the others, he reaches into the bag tied to his was and unleashes the CHRISTMAS FRUITCAKE. Now you will all chring in terror at the gift that will not die. ---
**Author:** ![Billdo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/billdo/32/315_2.png) [@Billdo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Billdo)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2001, 2:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ultimate-rochambo-fighter-arena/39513/184 "2001-01-11T14:37:25Z")
Dammit, **jr8** , you have me at a loss. You’ve carefully unwrapped the paper around the rock, and shown the rock to be merely a snow globe. I was going to try to throw something about endless repeating of Christmas carols, but the season for that has passed. :::: retreats to his corner, contemplating :::: ---
**Author:** ![wayward](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/a87d85/32.png) [@wayward](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wayward)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2001, 2:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ultimate-rochambo-fighter-arena/39513/185 "2001-01-11T14:40:44Z")
I am reminded of the wise words said to me by the great Rochambo master, Hung - wel - lo: _“As soon as as a paper moves the stone, therefore then to make the corporei liquids of a ruin of primate that it is goffered in on from the fire with a good book and one large warm chocolate cup with Mini-Marshmallows”_ How true. This is why I now use **A bucket full of cold monkey semen!** (Ahh, the wonders of the altavista babelfish) ---
**Author:** ![Billdo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/billdo/32/315_2.png) [@Billdo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Billdo)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2001, 2:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ultimate-rochambo-fighter-arena/39513/186 "2001-01-11T14:44:26Z")
A-ha. **TKD2DAN** has shattered the snow globe with an even bigger rock, giving me the chance to take the **CHRISTMAS FRUITCAKE** and box it up to give to the **UPS GUY IN THE NIFTY BROWN UNIFORM**. Aunt Sally will love it when it arrives. ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2001, 2:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ultimate-rochambo-fighter-arena/39513/187 "2001-01-11T14:53:17Z")
Oh no! THe **cold monkey semen** has stained the **nice brown UPS uniform**! I follow up with a nasty case of **Post-Nasal Drip**! ---
**Author:** ![foxfyre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/aeb1de/32.png) [@foxfyre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/foxfyre)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2001, 3:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ultimate-rochambo-fighter-arena/39513/188 "2001-01-11T15:29:43Z")
Shaking off the final after efects of a nasty **Richard Simmons Deal a Meal** attack (dispelled by a couple hours watching **The Food Network** ) _Foxfyre enters the Arena_ **Post Nasal Drip** Eh? I counter that with a **Nurse Betsy Inflatable Doll** Turn and attack with a **4 hour Urinology Lecture Followed by mandatory Exam** -Fox ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2001, 4:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ultimate-rochambo-fighter-arena/39513/189 "2001-01-11T16:03:35Z")
I ace the **4 hour Urinology Lecture Followed by mandatory Exam** by **pissing off the teacher**. [sub]nyuk nyuk[/sub] In a sudden change of tactics, I retaliate with: **Them Apples** So – how do you like **Them Apples**? ---
**Author:** ![Scupper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b9bd4f/32.png) [@Scupper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scupper)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2001, 4:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ultimate-rochambo-fighter-arena/39513/190 "2001-01-11T16:03:50Z")
The music of the spheres echoes through my subconscious as I thwart Fox’s **4 hour Urinology Lecture Followed by mandatory Exam** with a **10 Keg Post Exams Blowout!** ---
**Author:** ![Scupper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b9bd4f/32.png) [@Scupper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scupper)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2001, 4:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ultimate-rochambo-fighter-arena/39513/191 "2001-01-11T16:09:43Z")
The crowd murmurs approval at jr8’s unorthodox use of **Them Apples**. However, it is neatly cancelled out by **Mediterranean Fruit Flies!!** ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2001, 4:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ultimate-rochambo-fighter-arena/39513/192 "2001-01-11T16:16:11Z")
I am able to neutralize the **Mediterranean Fruit Fly** simply by breathing on it after the **10 Keg Post Exams Blowout**. Unfortunately, I then projectile vomit and stagger off somewhere to sober up. ---
**Author:** ![foxfyre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/aeb1de/32.png) [@foxfyre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/foxfyre)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2001, 4:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ultimate-rochambo-fighter-arena/39513/193 "2001-01-11T16:17:44Z")
**10 Keg Post Exams Blowout!** Cool! Party! Party! Party! As much as I love party’in I must do this… **Combination Swat, Fed, and Cop Drug/Underage Drinking Bust** Sorry… -Fox ---
**Author:** ![foxfyre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/aeb1de/32.png) [@foxfyre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/foxfyre)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2001, 4:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ultimate-rochambo-fighter-arena/39513/194 "2001-01-11T16:22:16Z")
_FoxFyre’s Fox Sense Tingles_ I have a feeling this Arena is going to get busted by the SDMB Feds soon, so we need to make this quick… -Fox ---
**Author:** ![Bear\_Nenno](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bear_nenno/32/3358_2.png) [@Bear\_Nenno](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bear_Nenno)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2001, 4:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ultimate-rochambo-fighter-arena/39513/195 "2001-01-11T16:32:29Z")
Ha ha!!! ::The dark stranger appear from nowhere!!!:: **Combination Swat, Fed, and Cop Drug/Underage Drinking Bust** ehh?? Take this: **Small Dingy complete with the progeric Captain Jerry and his small furry animals** ---
**Author:** ![thinksnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thinksnow/32/2849_2.png) [@thinksnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thinksnow)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2001, 4:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ultimate-rochambo-fighter-arena/39513/196 "2001-01-11T16:41:46Z")
I see your **Small Dingy complete with the progeric Captain Jerry and his small furry animals** and, reaching into my back pocket… Shout UNO! flipping over a multi-colored “Wild-take four” card. ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2001, 4:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ultimate-rochambo-fighter-arena/39513/197 "2001-01-11T16:51:55Z")
A bold move! Thinking quickly, I spill my beer on it. And in return, I’ll attack you with…with… \ …um… …hold on a sec… …uh oh – I must have dropped it… …um…I attack you with … **Pocket Lint**! Yeah, that was my plan all along! [sub]How embarrassing…[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![thinksnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thinksnow/32/2849_2.png) [@thinksnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thinksnow)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2001, 5:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ultimate-rochambo-fighter-arena/39513/198 "2001-01-11T17:47:15Z")
Knowing the danger of **pocket lint** , I thrust it into The Jello Pit (after donning the required regulation g-string and whipped cream, of course). ---
**Author:** ![Bear\_Nenno](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bear_nenno/32/3358_2.png) [@Bear\_Nenno](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bear_Nenno)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2001, 5:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ultimate-rochambo-fighter-arena/39513/199 "2001-01-11T17:50:12Z")
Your **Pocket Lint** is quickly neutralized by this **Cordless Dustbuster: Model 3001 with HEPA filter, and Petrol Powered 3.5 hp Two stroke, vortex-ion, reverse matrix, ultra-suction pulse engine.** straight from the Sharper Image catalog. But wait, there’s more. For my offensive move, I use: **Green**. ---
**Author:** ![thinksnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thinksnow/32/2849_2.png) [@thinksnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thinksnow)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2001, 6:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ultimate-rochambo-fighter-arena/39513/200 "2001-01-11T18:00:28Z")
Bah1 **Green** indeed, like we learned nothing from the “yellow” debacle? Countering and crushing you, may I present \*\*“Dueling Banjos, as performed by the London Philharmonic Orchestra” \*\*in blazing feel-around sound. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ultimate-rochambo-fighter-arena/39513.md?page=9) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ultimate-rochambo-fighter-arena/39513.md?page=11)