# Ultimate Rochambo Fighter Arena **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 3, 2000, 4:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ultimate-rochambo-fighter-arena/39513 "2000-11-03T04:12:34Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 14
**Author:** ![cykrider](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f19dbf/32.png) [@cykrider](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cykrider)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2001, 10:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ultimate-rochambo-fighter-arena/39513/261 "2001-01-12T22:09:16Z")
$#!+ I know I hit preview that time! WTF am I doing wrong? ---
**Author:** ![magdalene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/df788c/32.png) [@magdalene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/magdalene)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2001, 10:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ultimate-rochambo-fighter-arena/39513/262 "2001-01-12T22:12:23Z")
I quickly distract your **Department Store Perfume Sniper-woman** with **Mr. T**. My attack? **The last 1/2 hour of any Saturday Night Live broadcast.** ---
**Author:** ![magdalene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/df788c/32.png) [@magdalene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/magdalene)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2001, 10:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ultimate-rochambo-fighter-arena/39513/263 "2001-01-12T22:18:16Z")
**"The World’s Longests Fillibusters" hosted by Ben Stein** can be turned into a laugh-riot by \*\*Mike Nelson, Gypsy, and Tom Servo \*\*. I should save this for an emergency, but it’s better to be a strong agressor. Before you can recover from laughing at Jesse Helms’ hijinks, I launch **Regis Philbin** into the arena. Did you all hear that? **Regis Philbin** is in the arena. ---
**Author:** ![Milossarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Milossarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Milossarian)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2001, 10:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ultimate-rochambo-fighter-arena/39513/264 "2001-01-12T22:54:16Z")
Feh. Anyone knows that the proper counter to a play of **Lynn Bodoni** is **good chocolate**. Amateurs. ---
**Author:** ![to\_be\_announced](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ba9def/32.png) [@to\_be\_announced](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/to_be_announced)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2001, 11:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ultimate-rochambo-fighter-arena/39513/265 "2001-01-12T23:00:41Z")
**Magdalene** I call upon the mystic powers to make **Mr. T** bend over and **pluck out all the dingle berries from his tush… Ouch!!** ---
**Author:** ![EFBailey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ccd318/32.png) [@EFBailey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EFBailey)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2001, 11:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ultimate-rochambo-fighter-arena/39513/266 "2001-01-12T23:02:51Z")
Bailey gets old-school buy suggesting that your \*\* Mike Nelson, Gypsy, and Tom Servo\*\* entry is easilly beat out by the decidedly more winning combination of \*\* Joel Robinson, Tom Servo and Crow \*\* In invoking such heavy-duty artillery, however, you have left your own \*\* Regis Philbin \*\* vulnerable to the undermining power of \*\* Mockery \*\*. What do you think, sirs? ---
**Author:** ![magdalene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/df788c/32.png) [@magdalene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/magdalene)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2001, 11:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ultimate-rochambo-fighter-arena/39513/267 "2001-01-12T23:04:34Z")
to\_be\_announced, Mr. T is so 5 minutes ago. What is your response to \*\* the last 1/2 hour of Saturday Night Live\*\* or **Regis Philbin**. Milossarian is as wise and crafty as he is handsome. We must not let him regain upper hand. ---
**Author:** ![Scupper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b9bd4f/32.png) [@Scupper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scupper)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2001, 11:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ultimate-rochambo-fighter-arena/39513/268 "2001-01-12T23:22:49Z")
**The last 1/2 hour of Saturday Night Live** is easily counteracted by **Psylocibin Mushrooms I Ate When the Show Started** – now even Chris Elliot would be funny! **Regis Philbin** is manhandled off the stage when I invoke **Rowdy Roddie Piper** and then finish off anybody left standing with **Imelda Marcos’ Shoe Collection!** ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2001, 12:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ultimate-rochambo-fighter-arena/39513/269 "2001-01-13T00:00:34Z")
People, people, people… I didn’t want to have to do this, really I didn’t. I was perfectly willing to let you off lightly with an attack of the **aglets** , or maybe **some fava beans and a nice Chianti**. If pressed, I figured I might have to use **Dan Fogelberg’s Greatest Hits** to restore order, but things have just gotten completely out of hand here. I can see some stern discipline is needed. Arrayed against you all, I give you: **Everyone in the world named Bob**! :eek: (Impressive, n’est-ce pas?) ---
**Author:** ![Mac\_Guffin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/2bfe46/32.png) [@Mac\_Guffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mac_Guffin)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2001, 12:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ultimate-rochambo-fighter-arena/39513/270 "2001-01-13T00:00:34Z")
Hmm…particlewill enters the ring wielding **A Nutjob Shoe Fetishist** to eliminate \*\*Imelda Marcos’ Shoe Collection! \*\* He then cuts loose with **Underwear That’s Been Under My Bed For Over a Year** ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2001, 12:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ultimate-rochambo-fighter-arena/39513/271 "2001-01-13T00:03:23Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by particlewill \* > He then cuts loose with **Underwear That’s Been Under My Bed For Over a Year** Okay, for **that** , I can use the **aglets** … ---
**Author:** ![magdalene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/df788c/32.png) [@magdalene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/magdalene)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2001, 12:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ultimate-rochambo-fighter-arena/39513/272 "2001-01-13T00:59:26Z")
**Everyone in the world named Bob** can be eliminated by **Jennifers born in the early 1970’s.** No contest. **Underwear that’s been under my bed for over a year** falls before **the partially biodegraded condom in jr8’s wallet**. heh heh heh Shazam! I give you **An ice-cold glass of Perrier, with a twist of lime.** ---
**Author:** ![Busta\_Rib](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/45deac/32.png) [@Busta\_Rib](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Busta_Rib)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2001, 2:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ultimate-rochambo-fighter-arena/39513/273 "2001-01-13T02:04:10Z")
Your **ice-cold glass of Perrier, with a twist of lime** is a clever move. So to counter, I **drink it**. In fact, it’s quite refreshing! Thank you. I was feeling a little parched from all this effort. Now, back to the melee! To render you helpless, I’ll soften your defenses with a **Jerry Springer Episode: Men Who Sleep With Their Girlfriend’s Ex-boyfriends, And The Women Who Love Them Both**! As you lay defenseless and dazed, I leave you all to suck on my **Second-hand Smoke** , as I light up to celebrate my victory!! And I don’t even smoke. How do you like them apples (previously utilized with great skill by jr8)?!! ---
**Author:** ![Enderw24](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ba9def/32.png) [@Enderw24](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enderw24)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2001, 7:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ultimate-rochambo-fighter-arena/39513/274 "2001-01-13T07:51:07Z")
Your “Jerry Springer Episode: Men Who Sleep With Their Girlfriend’s Ex-boyfriends, And The Women Who Love Them Both!” is both blocked and countered at the source. I throw in the **knife weilding moyle with arthritis** who lunges after Springer in an attempt to complete the job he started decades before. ---
**Author:** ![Milossarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Milossarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Milossarian)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2001, 4:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ultimate-rochambo-fighter-arena/39513/275 "2001-01-13T16:13:06Z")
Your attempts at buttering me up won’t work, mags. (But feel free to continue.) A **knife-wielding whatever** is rendered a simpering, thumb-sucking momma’s boy when exposed to the sheer force of **the condescension of a French waiter serving an American wearing a cowboy hat and and ‘I’m With Stupid’ T-shirt in a Paris bistro**! ---
**Author:** ![supersaiyan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/46a35a/32.png) [@supersaiyan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/supersaiyan)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2001, 4:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ultimate-rochambo-fighter-arena/39513/276 "2001-01-13T16:38:13Z")
Your **Frenchman** goes insane with hunger upon sighting the \*\*giant gorgonzola cheese wheel \*\* (insert French laugh) Now Take back your stupid videogames too…HOUGH HOUGH HOUGH… (NO offense to any people in France, living, dead or otherwise…) ---
**Author:** ![supersaiyan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/46a35a/32.png) [@supersaiyan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/supersaiyan)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2001, 4:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ultimate-rochambo-fighter-arena/39513/277 "2001-01-13T16:39:51Z")
dang forgot the bold ending …its \*\* French Waiter \*\* to a \*\* Gorgonzola Cheese wheel \*\* ---
**Author:** ![Bear\_Nenno](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bear_nenno/32/3358_2.png) [@Bear\_Nenno](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bear_Nenno)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2001, 5:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ultimate-rochambo-fighter-arena/39513/278 "2001-01-13T17:03:21Z")
I’m back… Watching you Roshambo amateurs is getting old. It’s time to attack with: **Both the retired Tara Krystal Lapinski AND Brian Boitano** ---
**Author:** ![Scupper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b9bd4f/32.png) [@Scupper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scupper)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2001, 7:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ultimate-rochambo-fighter-arena/39513/279 "2001-01-13T19:02:29Z")
**Both the retired Tara Krystal Lapinski AND Brian Boitano** are cut down in their post-prime by **Tonya Harding with a Tire Iron!!** And I retake the field with a vicious **Garden Weasel** attack! ---
**Author:** ![magdalene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/df788c/32.png) [@magdalene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/magdalene)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2001, 11:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ultimate-rochambo-fighter-arena/39513/280 "2001-01-13T23:09:55Z")
**Garden Weasel** …big automated scissors, yes? **Rock.** ::Lobs a **Magic 8 Ball** into the arena::…See if you dare interprest its inscrutable answers! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ultimate-rochambo-fighter-arena/39513.md?page=13) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ultimate-rochambo-fighter-arena/39513.md?page=15)