# Ultimate Rochambo Fighter Arena
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ultimate-rochambo-fighter-arena/39513
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
**Created:** [November 3, 2000, 4:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ultimate-rochambo-fighter-arena/39513 "2000-11-03T04:12:34Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 8
### Author:  [@Billdo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Billdo)
#### Post date: [January 10, 2001, 7:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ultimate-rochambo-fighter-arena/39513/141 "2001-01-10T19:10:06Z")
**Billdo** , rested from his two month reign as undefeated Ultimate Rochambo champion, strides calmly back into the ring and quietly mutters “paper wraps rock.” Suddenly, the **Pocket Rocket (batteries included)** is silenced by Reagan adminstration Attorney General **Ed Meese’s Report on Pornography**.
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### Author:  [@Billdo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Billdo)
#### Post date: [January 10, 2001, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ultimate-rochambo-fighter-arena/39513/142 "2001-01-10T19:14:24Z")
Although **Scupper** snuck in there with a surprise flank attack, fortunately the **Crotchety Neighbor Who Will Not Return Errant Flying Toys!!** is embarrassed away by **Ed Meese’s Report on Pornography**.
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### Author:  [@Scupper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scupper)
#### Post date: [January 10, 2001, 7:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ultimate-rochambo-fighter-arena/39513/143 "2001-01-10T19:30:35Z")
Returning to the fundamentals upon which all Rochamboka skills are based, I send **Ed Meese’s Report on Pornography** through the unsurpassed document-shredding power of **Incompetent Kinko’s Employee!!**
\*“Scissors cuts paper,” \*the judges whisper solemnly.
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### Author:  [@Milossarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Milossarian)
#### Post date: [January 10, 2001, 7:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ultimate-rochambo-fighter-arena/39513/144 "2001-01-10T19:30:43Z")
Meese and his report are lusted out of their air of moral superiority by a **Janet Reno in bikini photo montage!**
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### Author:  [@TKD2DAN](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TKD2DAN)
#### Post date: [January 10, 2001, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ultimate-rochambo-fighter-arena/39513/145 "2001-01-10T19:33:29Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Billdo \*
> \*\*Although **Scupper** snuck in there with a surprise flank attack, fortunately the **Crotchety Neighbor Who Will Not Return Errant Flying Toys!!** is embarrassed away by **Ed Meese’s Report on Pornography**. \*\*
I feel forced at this point to counter with the TRANSCRIPTS OF THE LARRY FLINT/HUSTLER TRIALS.
That ought to give Meese’s Pornography report a good licking (pun intended).
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### Author:  [@Scupper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scupper)
#### Post date: [January 10, 2001, 7:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ultimate-rochambo-fighter-arena/39513/146 "2001-01-10T19:37:00Z")
The crowd is still reeling from a tag-team **Meese** smackdown as I edit out all the titillating bits of **Janet Reno in bikini photo montage** with the single-finger sign of **Black Magic Marker.**
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### Author:  [@Scupper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scupper)
#### Post date: [January 10, 2001, 7:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ultimate-rochambo-fighter-arena/39513/147 "2001-01-10T19:44:44Z")
My Tai-Chi breathing techniques come in handy in this fast and furious combat. Your **TRANSCRIPTS OF THE LARRY FLINT/HUSTLER TRIALS** are utterly shredded by my simple but elegant **Disgruntled Postal Worker!**
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### Author:  [@Busta\_Rib](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Busta_Rib)
#### Post date: [January 10, 2001, 8:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ultimate-rochambo-fighter-arena/39513/148 "2001-01-10T20:03:07Z")
[ **Busta Rib** Journal Entry 01.10.01: These bastards are tricky! Two days in this mosh pit of obscure British references, sexual innuendo, resurrected B-movie and sit-com actors, and more hardware than Q can muster in a James Bond flick, I find myself in a battle royale (with cheese). I’ve underestimated my opponents:
**Scupper** : quick of wit, stealthy, and fearless with the sublime one-liner. A tough competitor.
**TKD2DAN** : mysterious, a loner, and fashion maven. God, I hate it when he insists on wearing his Lone Ranger mask into the ring.
**foxfyre** : as cunning as his handle. I don’t dare turn my back on him, lest I find an embarrassing note taped to my shirt. I can trust him as far as I can see him.
**jr8** : obscure, cocky, tries to overwhelm with a lethal combinations of moves. Talks too fast. Could use a good noogy.
**Milossarian** : anybody that wields Michael Jackson’s plastic surgeon is someone to look out for. Thank goodness he’s spared us from LaToya’s incomprehensible gibberish. Unpredictable at best.
I must watch, observe, study, and learn their weaknesses. Then I will strike. And I wonder where Scupper absconded to with the **Pocker Rocket (batteries included)**. Bastard!
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### Author:  [@TKD2DAN](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TKD2DAN)
#### Post date: [January 10, 2001, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ultimate-rochambo-fighter-arena/39513/149 "2001-01-10T20:14:25Z")
Dirty trick BUSTA RIB, trying to distract us with your comments.
But it will not prevail. I attack the DISGRUNTLED POSTAL WORKER with what they all fear the most. The CHALUPA THROWING, ACCENT TALKING ‘TACO BELL™’ CHIHUAHUA. Beware lest he hump your leg, er, ankle.
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### Author:  [@Busta\_Rib](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Busta_Rib)
#### Post date: [January 10, 2001, 8:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ultimate-rochambo-fighter-arena/39513/150 "2001-01-10T20:25:33Z")
Aha!! At last, you’ve exposed your dark underbelly for my lethal counter-attack, **TKD2DAN**. Try surviving a **Cheesy Chick Flick of French Origin and with Little Redeeming Social Value**!! I’ll even throw in a box of tissues, as I am a good sport.
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### Author:  [@Busta\_Rib](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Busta_Rib)
#### Post date: [January 10, 2001, 8:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ultimate-rochambo-fighter-arena/39513/151 "2001-01-10T20:25:59Z")
Aha!! At last, you’ve exposed your dark underbelly for my lethal counter-attack to your CHALUPA THROWING, ACCENT TALKING, LEG-HUMPING, ‘TACO BELL™’ CHIHUAHUA, **TKD2DAN**. Try surviving a **Cheesy Chick Flick of French Origin and with Little Redeeming Social Value**!! I’ll even throw in a box of tissues, as I am a good sport.
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### Author:  [@foxfyre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/foxfyre)
#### Post date: [January 10, 2001, 8:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ultimate-rochambo-fighter-arena/39513/152 "2001-01-10T20:41:38Z")
A nice **Make-Out Session with a very Hot Chick** is a very good counter to any chick flick, even a **Cheesy Chick Flick of French Origin and with Little Redeeming Social Value**
-Fox
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### Author:  [@foxfyre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/foxfyre)
#### Post date: [January 10, 2001, 9:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ultimate-rochambo-fighter-arena/39513/153 "2001-01-10T21:11:14Z")
And I follow that up with **"Richard Smalley Saves His Family"**
-Fox
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### Author:  [@Scupper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scupper)
#### Post date: [January 10, 2001, 9:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ultimate-rochambo-fighter-arena/39513/154 "2001-01-10T21:54:06Z")
My momentary hesitation at foxfyre’s **“Richard Smalley Saves His Family”** is resolved when my keen sense of all things aura reveals the weapon’s true name to be **"Stuart Saves His Family."**
To this vicious infliction of misremembered Al Franken humor within the sacred Rochambodium, I unhesitatingly thrash fox with a copy of **“A Very Brady Christmas”… ON BETAMAX!!**
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### Author:  [@TKD2DAN](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TKD2DAN)
#### Post date: [January 10, 2001, 9:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ultimate-rochambo-fighter-arena/39513/155 "2001-01-10T21:54:08Z")
I’ll have you know Busta Rib that my under belly is painted white. That way I blend into the clouds when I fly.
As for you Foxfyre, I counter your Richard Smalley with a RICHARD SIMMONS “DEAL-A-MEAL” WEIGHT LOSS PLAN. That should keep you tied up for a while.
As for the rest of you (I truly hate to do this) I will have to bring out MY MOMMY (now you’re gonna get it).
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### Author:  [@Scupper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scupper)
#### Post date: [January 10, 2001, 10:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ultimate-rochambo-fighter-arena/39513/156 "2001-01-10T22:02:45Z")
TKD2DAN’s **MOMMY** is a formidable throw, to be sure. Though I am hesitant to reveal my Roshamboka school’s Secret Techniques TM, I am forced to unleash **A Carpool Van Containing Six Screaming, Pokemon Card-Crazed Fourth Graders and a Dalmatian With a Weak Bladder!!!**
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### Author:  [@foxfyre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/foxfyre)
#### Post date: [January 10, 2001, 10:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ultimate-rochambo-fighter-arena/39513/157 "2001-01-10T22:08:30Z")
**Richard Simmons** Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!
While I recuperate from that nice attack, I must go haul dead bodies for a while.
Ill Be Back…well…maybe.
_FoxFyre has left the Arena_
-Fox
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### Author:  [@robgruver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robgruver)
#### Post date: [January 10, 2001, 10:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ultimate-rochambo-fighter-arena/39513/158 "2001-01-10T22:27:17Z")
Your **A Carpool Van Containing Six Screaming, Pokemon Card-Crazed Fourth Graders and a Dalmatian With a Weak Bladder!!!** is a good attack, but alas the day is mine.
I throw at the carpool of kids **AN ENTIRE CASE OF POKEMON JAPANESSE FIRST EDITION BLACK BORDER LIMITED EDITION FOIL IN SPECIAL PACKAGING!!!** That should keep them busy while **I hire my next door neighbor to take the dog for a walk**.
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### Author:  [@TKD2DAN](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TKD2DAN)
#### Post date: [January 10, 2001, 10:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ultimate-rochambo-fighter-arena/39513/159 "2001-01-10T22:31:54Z")
Well, Mommy, not to be daunted by screeming kids, quickly pulls the van into the Dairy Queen for Ice Cream Sandwiches
and a Potty break(no the dog doesn’t get to go in, but there is a nice tree just outside).
Now, seeing FoxFyre’s evil, she goes quickly to the phone and calls FoxFyre’s MOMMY (now you’re REALLY gonna get it).
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### Author:  [@TKD2DAN](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TKD2DAN)
#### Post date: [January 10, 2001, 10:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ultimate-rochambo-fighter-arena/39513/160 "2001-01-10T22:44:29Z")
OOPS, sorry foxfyre, that was not meant for you. Have to redirect the MOMMY weapon to call Scupper’s Mommy.
Damn, sometimes you just can’t get good help.
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