# Ultimate Simpsons Poll **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [February 4, 2003, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ultimate-simpsons-poll/152782 "2003-02-04T20:55:44Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Gangster\_Octopus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a8b319/32.png) [@Gangster\_Octopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gangster_Octopus)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2003, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ultimate-simpsons-poll/152782/1 "2003-02-04T20:55:44Z")
10 Questions inspired by the TOp 25 thread. **Best guest appearance, appearing as self** James Woods **Best guest appearance, appearing as a character** Dustin Hoffman **Best Daydream Sequence** Homer dreaming of Germany as the Land of Chocolate **Most touching moment** Homer sitting on his car hood after seeing his mom off **Most touching and humorous moment** Martin, utterly naked, in his ruined pool as Frank Sinatra sings “Summer Wind” **Best Sign** Master Knows All Except Combination To Safe **Most Disgusting Thing Homer Has Eaten** Sandwich found behind the radiator **Best ‘Location’ Episode** Bart vs. Australia **Best Bart Prank Call** I’m a stupid moron with an ugly face and big butt and my butt smells and I like to kiss my own butt **Best Homer ‘Smart’ Moment** Lisa! In this house we obey the laws of thermodynamics! ---
**Author:** ![Homer\_J](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c37758/32.png) [@Homer\_J](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Homer_J)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2003, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ultimate-simpsons-poll/152782/2 "2003-02-04T21:09:50Z")
Best Day Dream Sequence Homers recolection of the Town council where there is a many tentacled alien and him as a body builder. And the president turns up…i forget. Location episode When Homer goes to space, and Kent Brockman ‘hails to are ant overlords to work in their sugar mines’ - clasic stuff ---
**Author:** ![Munch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/munch/32/5281_2.png) [@Munch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Munch)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2003, 9:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ultimate-simpsons-poll/152782/3 "2003-02-04T21:11:31Z")
I’m going to have to disagree on your “Best Location Episode” and go with the Mr. Sparkle episode, and the best “Smart Homer” Moment is easily “I am so smart! S-M-R-T!” ---
**Author:** ![Max\_Carnage](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/max_carnage/32/12775_2.png) [@Max\_Carnage](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Max_Carnage)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2003, 9:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ultimate-simpsons-poll/152782/4 "2003-02-04T21:46:39Z")
What about Best Moe Phone Retaliation: I’m torn between “I’m gonna rip open your skull and paint my house with your brains!” and “One of these days, I’m gonna find you, and when I do, I’m gonna carve my name in your back with an icepick!” Best Bart Prank Call: “Hugh Jazz” ---
**Author:** ![Max\_Carnage](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/max_carnage/32/12775_2.png) [@Max\_Carnage](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Max_Carnage)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2003, 9:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ultimate-simpsons-poll/152782/5 "2003-02-04T21:47:58Z")
Now that I think about it, I actually think Moe said “I’m gonna use your skull as a bucket and paint my house with your brains.” Either way, nasty. ---
**Author:** ![Gangster\_Octopus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a8b319/32.png) [@Gangster\_Octopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gangster_Octopus)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2003, 9:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ultimate-simpsons-poll/152782/6 "2003-02-04T21:52:26Z")
Actually I like the one. 'I’m gona rip out your eyballs and shove up your butt so you can watch me kicking your ass." ---
**Author:** ![5-HT](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/5/f19dbf/32.png) [@5-HT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/5-HT)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2003, 11:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ultimate-simpsons-poll/152782/7 "2003-02-04T23:06:54Z")
I agree with the OP on a lot of these, so I’ll just post the ones that are different: **Best guest appearance, appearing as self** Mel Gibson. probably an unpopular choice, but I loved that episode **Most touching moment** The pictures of Maggie at Homer’s work station **Best Sign** In honor of the birth of our lord, Try n Save will be open all day on Christmas **Best Homer ‘Smart’ Moment** Walking with Flanders after Maude’s death F:“hey that’s my Sprinkler!” H:“it’s natural to feel that way, but the sprinkler is gone” of course, ask me tommorow and my answers are likely to be totally different ---
**Author:** ![bouv](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bc8723/32.png) [@bouv](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bouv)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2003, 11:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ultimate-simpsons-poll/152782/8 "2003-02-04T23:48:52Z")
I agree with the OP on the ones I didn’t change. **Best guest appearance, appearing as self** All of the baseball guys from the softball ep. **Best guest appearance, appearing as a character** Jim Varney **Most touching moment** Maggie saying ‘daddy.’ **Best Sign** Fire Gill, not guns **Best ‘Location’ Episode** Japan ep. **Best Bart Prank Call** Hugh Jazz ---
**Author:** ![interface2x](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/c0e974/32.png) [@interface2x](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/interface2x)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2003, 11:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ultimate-simpsons-poll/152782/9 "2003-02-04T23:53:09Z")
**Best Sign** (On a Las Vegas Casino) Loosest Craps in Town! ---
**Author:** ![Morbo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/morbo/32/389_2.png) [@Morbo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morbo)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2003, 12:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ultimate-simpsons-poll/152782/10 "2003-02-05T00:02:05Z")
**Best guest appearance, appearing as self** Lucy Lawless. “Ha, ha, ha! I am unbelievably amused!” **Best guest appearance, appearing as a character** Albert Brooks as Hank Scorpio **Best Daydream Sequence** **Nightmare on Evergreen Terrace**. “When I’m finished with yee, they’ll have to do a _compost_-mortem!” **Best Sign** Sneed’s Feed & Seed (Formerly Chuck’s) **Best ‘Location’ Episode** Mr. Sparkle. “I am disrespectful to dirt! Can you see that I am serious?” **Best Homer ‘Smart’ Moment** “Perhaps, but let’s not get bogged down in semantics.” ---
**Author:** ![Harborwolf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c89c15/32.png) [@Harborwolf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harborwolf)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2003, 12:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ultimate-simpsons-poll/152782/11 "2003-02-05T00:17:34Z")
**Best quickie song** Homer: I drink a whiskey drink. I drink a vodka drink. And when I have to pee, I use the kitchen sink. **Best guest appearance, appearing as self** Everyone from the Rock and Roll camp episode. Probably unpopular, but that episode cracked me up. Runner-up would have to be everyone on “Krusty Gets Kancelled” **Best ‘Location’ Episode** Australia “Mr. Prime Minister…ANDY!!!” **Most Disgusting Thing Homer Has Eaten** has to be the baking soda “antacid trip” posted by Gangster octopus **Best Homer ‘Smart’ Moment** > [@](#): > > Lisa! In this house we obey the laws of thermodynamics! Homer is so funny in that episode. “I’ve had quite enough of your Vassar bashing!!!” ---
**Author:** ![Yumblie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/76d3ee/32.png) [@Yumblie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yumblie)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2003, 1:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ultimate-simpsons-poll/152782/12 "2003-02-05T01:38:33Z")
**Best guest appearance, appearing as self** I don’t know if this counts, but I’ll say Jay Sherman, from The Critic. **Best Daydream Sequence** When Homer and Flanders marry the two casino waitresses, Homer lustfully considers what it’d be like to have two wives. His daydream shows him sitting in a hammock, while Marge chops some wood and the other wife digs a hole. Marge says “You know Homie, there’s so much more two wives could do for you…” and he says “I hear digging, but I don’t hear chopping!” As Marge sighs and gets back to chopping, a bee lands on Homer’s nose and stings him, awaking him from his dream. This hypothetical bee sting convinces Homer that having two wives is a bad idea. **Best Homer ‘Smart’ Moment** When Homer listens to the vocabulary enrichment tapes over night and starts using ridiculous verbose language. Later in the episode Lisa asks why Bart didn’t go to Homer for advice, and Bart says “I did, but I couldn’t understand a word he was saying.” or something like that. Then after he stops listening to the tapes, he forgets the word for “spoon.” ---
**Author:** ![Bjork](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/9de0a6/32.png) [@Bjork](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bjork)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2003, 4:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ultimate-simpsons-poll/152782/13 "2003-02-05T04:27:06Z")
“Best Homer Smart Moment” Looks like you were barking up the wrong bush. Homer, that was the smartest thing you are ever going to say and no one was around to hear it. Doh! ---
**Author:** ![Longmos](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/278dde/32.png) [@Longmos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Longmos)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2003, 4:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ultimate-simpsons-poll/152782/14 "2003-02-05T04:45:01Z")
**Best product label** On bottle of glue that Bart used to stick things all over his face: “In case of accidental ingestion, consult a mortician.” ---
**Author:** ![CrazyCatLady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dfb087/32.png) [@CrazyCatLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CrazyCatLady)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2003, 10:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ultimate-simpsons-poll/152782/15 "2003-02-05T10:31:04Z")
No, I’m afraid the best product label was on the Krusty the Klown Home Pregnancy Test: **WARNING** : Product may cause birth defects. ---
**Author:** ![MemoryGongs](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/58f4c7/32.png) [@MemoryGongs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MemoryGongs)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2003, 10:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ultimate-simpsons-poll/152782/16 "2003-02-05T10:57:16Z")
10 Questions inspired by the TOp 25 thread. Best guest appearance, appearing as self Alec Baldwin, Kim Basinger Best guest appearance, appearing as a character Daiv Duchovny, Gillian Anderson Best Daydream Sequence Homer playing foosball with Michelangelo’s David; Marge w/ Lee Majors Most touching moment Homer’s letter to Lisa after he becomes stupid again. Most touching and humorous moment Homer saving Maggie from being baptized Best Sign that religious school: We Put The “Fun” In Fundamentalist Dogma Most Disgusting Thing Homer Has Eaten Sandwich found behind the radiator/ the pizza he licks on the garbage hill, mmmmmm 64 slices of American processed cheese Best ‘Location’ Episode Japan - The 'Godzilla " turbulence gets me everytime Best Bart Prank Call Amanda Hugnkiss Best Homer ‘Smart’ Moment “I’ve had just about enough of your Vassar bashing young lady!” May I add a few More? Best Principle Skinner/Mother moment Seymour, what time is it…RIGHT NOW!!! Best Smithers “Is He Gay?” scene. On vacation at the resort where no one gets their picture taken “Hello, Smithers, you’re quite good at turning me on” Best Selma/Patty moment Is it just me or did it get fatter in here? Best Lionel Hutz line Well your honor we have plenty of conjecture and hearsay, those are kinds of evidence Best Really-Make-You-Think episode The angel, Frank Grimes ( this episode made me hate Homer) Best Sideshow Bob line Hello, Bart,Bart…he’s probably just a little shy because of all those times I tried to kill him man i love that show ---
**Author:** ![ravage2](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/d07c76/32.png) [@ravage2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ravage2)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2003, 1:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ultimate-simpsons-poll/152782/17 "2003-02-05T13:28:10Z")
Best movie parody When Homer is friends with Ned Flanders and wants to ask to play golf. When the Flanders drive off Homer chases him like in Terminator 2. ‘I guess he didn’t see me!’ Best song Apu in the Streetcar Named Desire musical. ‘I am just a simple paperboy, no romance do I seek. I just wanted forty cents, for my deliveries last week. Will this bewitching floozy Seduce this humble newsie? Oh, what’s a paperboy to… doooooo?’ Always gets a laugh whenever my friends or I sing it. From the same ep- Best scene for which they got sued for The musical number describing New Orleans Long before the Superdome, Where the Saints of football play, There’s a city where the damned call home, Hear their hellish rondelet: New Orleans! Home of pirates, drunks, and whores… New Orleans! Tacky, overpriced souvenir stores… If you want to go to hell, you should take a trip To the Sodom and Gomorrah of the Mississip’: New Orleans! Stinking, rotten, vomiting, vile… New Orleans! Putrid, brackish, maggotty, foul… New Orleans! Crummy, lousy, rancid and rank… New Orleans! Best trophy Bart got ‘Everybody gets a trophy day’ From the same ep- Best advice Homer gives ‘It is not OK to lose’ runner up- ‘You tried and you failed. The moral of the story is - never try’ ---
**Author:** ![gex\_gex](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/94ad74/32.png) [@gex\_gex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gex_gex)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2003, 2:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ultimate-simpsons-poll/152782/18 "2003-02-06T14:20:39Z")
> [@](#): > > From the same ep- > Best advice Homer gives > ‘It is not OK to lose’ No, it’s got to be “Remember what Vince Lombardi said: if you lose, you’re out of the family.” (from the same ep) ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2003, 2:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ultimate-simpsons-poll/152782/19 "2003-02-06T14:53:07Z")
Best Burns Song “See My Vest.” Best Movie Parody The “Rear Window” episode. Best use of a song “Summer Wind” with Ralph alone and naked in the busted swimming pool. “Old Man River” in the Tom & Huck episode. Best Phil Hartmann one-shot character Lyle Langley in the Monorail episode. Best use of Nancy Cartwright’s voice The “David & Goliath Part 2” episode. She did Bart, Ralph, and Nelson. WOW! ---
**Author:** ![JohnT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnt/32/15048_2.png) [@JohnT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnT)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2003, 3:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ultimate-simpsons-poll/152782/20 "2003-02-06T15:17:00Z")
“Most Disgusting Thing Homer Has Eaten Sandwich found behind the radiator” I must have missed that episode. My answer for this would’ve been that damn 6 foot long hoagie that Homer munched on for 2 weeks, finally giving himself food poisoning. :vomit: [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ultimate-simpsons-poll/152782.md?page=2)