# Ultimate Simpsons Poll **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [February 4, 2003, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ultimate-simpsons-poll/152782 "2003-02-04T20:55:44Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![DreadLead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/eb8c5e/32.png) [@DreadLead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DreadLead)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2003, 2:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ultimate-simpsons-poll/152782/81 "2003-02-12T02:20:27Z")
Best Scene II Homer and Mindy in the elevator “I guess will we’re getting on,going down,getting off…together” ---
**Author:** ![TWDuke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e495f1/32.png) [@TWDuke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TWDuke)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2003, 9:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ultimate-simpsons-poll/152782/82 "2003-02-12T21:00:29Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by ravage2 \* > \*\*Anyhoo, here’s another contender for **best song** > when Lisa talks to Paul and Linda McCartney on top of Apu’s Kwik-e-mart. Paul asks if Lisa would like to hear a song > Lisa - “Oh yes please!” > Paul -“Take it away, Apu!” > Apu starts singing some indian music. > Not really best song but really funny nonethless. > \*\* I think he sings “I’m Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely hearts club man…” while Lisa backs slowly away. ---
**Author:** ![pilot141](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/e0b2c6/32.png) [@pilot141](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pilot141)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2003, 12:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ultimate-simpsons-poll/152782/83 "2003-02-13T00:03:02Z")
**Worst thing Homer has eaten** Since the cloves/Tom Collins mix/pie crust has been mentioned, I’ll go with Homer and Wiggum chasing “fugitive” Marge and the new neighbor: Wiggum:“Mmmmm. Engine block eggs. If we can keep these down we’ll be doing allll right.” **Best groundskeeper Willie quote** After finding out that “Scotchtoberfest” was a scam to catch Bart, “Ya used me Skinner! Ya UUUUUSED ME!” How about some new ones: **Best Wiggum incompetence** From the previously mentioned “Thelma and Louise” episode, Wiggum trying to give his location to headquarters: “Oh, jeez, I’m on a road…um…trees…I’m directly under the Earth’s sun…NOW!” " **Best Smithers ambiguously gay moment:** Burns: “Smithers, I’ve got a rocket in my pocket” Smithers: “You don’t have to tell ME that, sir” ---
**Author:** ![The\_Ace\_of\_Swords](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e495f1/32.png) [@The\_Ace\_of\_Swords](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Ace_of_Swords)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2003, 4:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ultimate-simpsons-poll/152782/84 "2003-02-13T04:05:14Z")
**Best comic-guy quote** : [Reading comic book in the middle of the street]But Aquaman! You cannot marry an earth-girl! She has no gills! [Looks up, sees oncoming nuclear rocket]Oh. I’ve wasted my life… **Best Kang and Kodos Moment** : You still have to vote for one of us! It’s a two-party system! A TWO-PARTY SYSTEM! Ha! Ha! Ha! ---
**Author:** ![mambozzy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f08c70/32.png) [@mambozzy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mambozzy)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2003, 4:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ultimate-simpsons-poll/152782/85 "2003-02-13T04:24:27Z")
Well, he didn’t really _eat_ it but the worst thing Homer ever…er…injested was in the afore-mentioned Thelma & Louise parody. Homer and Wiggum drive into the canyon but are saved by the pile of garbage. Homer jumps out and starts kissing it: “Oh you beautiful, beautiful garbage” Muah! “Ick” Muah! “ooOOOhhh” Muah! “Mmmm” ---
**Author:** ![Chocobo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/898d66/32.png) [@Chocobo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chocobo)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2003, 4:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ultimate-simpsons-poll/152782/86 "2003-02-13T04:26:38Z")
**Best food that could possibly be marketable** (As long as it didn’t kill whoever ate it from instant heart-attack) “We take eighteen ounces of sizzling ground beef, and soak it in rich, creamery butter, then we top it off with bacon, ham, and a fried egg. We call it the Good Morning Burger.” ---
**Author:** ![Yumblie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/76d3ee/32.png) [@Yumblie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yumblie)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2003, 6:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ultimate-simpsons-poll/152782/87 "2003-02-13T06:52:14Z")
**Best Wiggum incompetence** “Show’s over, nothing to see here…Oh my God! A flaming wreckage!! Hey everyone, get a load of this! Come on, crowd around, don’t be shy!” ---
**Author:** ![MemoryGongs](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/58f4c7/32.png) [@MemoryGongs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MemoryGongs)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2003, 3:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ultimate-simpsons-poll/152782/88 "2003-03-02T03:44:33Z")
Best McBain/Rainer Wolfcastle line: RW:My son returns home from college and i am horrified to discover he is a nerd KB: sounds like an hillarious comedy RW: It is not a comedy Best one-shot-gag-character: Frank Grimes. Black, nihilistic comedy at its best. Best homer-brain conversation: money can be exchanged for goods and services Best Mmmmmm: at Moe’s lifting up the gummi bear (i Think)“MMMM… Me” best church moment : when bart falls in love with jessica lovejoy and hears her singing. only to go in and see flanders wailing in his falsetto ---
**Author:** ![MemoryGongs](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/58f4c7/32.png) [@MemoryGongs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MemoryGongs)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2003, 3:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ultimate-simpsons-poll/152782/89 "2003-03-02T03:46:12Z")
MOST UNDERRATED CHARACTER Sideshow Mel “You can be so cruel when you’re sober” ---
**Author:** ![MemoryGongs](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/58f4c7/32.png) [@MemoryGongs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MemoryGongs)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2003, 3:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ultimate-simpsons-poll/152782/90 "2003-03-02T03:51:29Z")
best comic guy line: my breakfast burrito is congealing rapidly best ralph wiggum: when i grow up im going to bovine university best groundskeeper willie : after skinner tells nelson he has to do “the mose demeaning humiliating work in the world…janitorial work”: Ahh Sir, I’m standing right here. Not funny unless seen in context ---
**Author:** ![Baron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/9de0a6/32.png) [@Baron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baron)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2003, 7:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ultimate-simpsons-poll/152782/91 "2003-03-02T19:35:36Z")
**Best Church Moment:** When Bart replaces the hymn sheets and gets the entire congregation to sing “In a Gadda da vida”. ---
**Author:** ![Homer\_J](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c37758/32.png) [@Homer\_J](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Homer_J)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2003, 7:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ultimate-simpsons-poll/152782/92 "2003-03-02T19:44:38Z")
Best Homer Smart Moment When homer is sent a vocabularly building tape rather than weight loss and see Bart loitering on the phone ‘oh a rather machiviellian type figure’ and then after he throws it away 'marge wheres thats metal thingie…for…digging ‘a fork?’ ‘yeh yeh yeh’ - priceless Best Life and Art moment (?) When Bart plays a blantently faked tape of Marge allowing Otto to say and denies its her voice Homer says; ‘oh Marge everyone says that when they here their voice on tape’ ---
**Author:** ![TWDuke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e495f1/32.png) [@TWDuke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TWDuke)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2003, 8:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ultimate-simpsons-poll/152782/93 "2003-03-02T20:35:00Z")
**Best warm and tender thought** Homer: “Maybe a hug will shut her cry hole.” **Best one-line celebrity appearance** James Earl Jones as Maggie: “This is indeed a disturbing universe.” **Best line deliberately out of character** Bart: “I am familiar with the works of Pablo Neruda.” **Best hypothetical question** Moe: “Let’s say you pull a thorn out of the Pope’s butt, and he grants you one wish, what’ll it be?” **Best treasonous statement** Kent Brockman: “I, for one, welcome our new insect overlords. And I’d like to remind them, that as a trusted celebrity, I can be useful in rounding up slaves to toil in their underground sugar mines.” ---
**Author:** ![Lisa-go-Blind](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7c8e57/32.png) [@Lisa-go-Blind](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lisa-go-Blind)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2003, 9:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ultimate-simpsons-poll/152782/94 "2003-03-02T21:56:30Z")
\*\* Best Apu Line \*\* “Tonight I’m going to party like it’s on sale for $19.99!” \*\* Best Lionel Hutz line \*\* “Works on coningency? No, money down!” \*\* Best Halloween Episode \*\* Treehouse of Horror V (The Shinning, Time and Punishment, and Nightmare Cafeteria). “I’ve got a ‘gut’ feeling Uter’s around here somewhere. After all, isn’t there a little Uter in all of us? In fact, you might even say we just ‘ate’ Uter and he’s in our stomachs right now! Wait. Scratch that one.” \*\* Best One-Shot Gag Character \*\* The Tall Guy in the Volkswagon that mocks Nelson. \*\* Best Guest Apperance as Character \*\* I would say Dustin Hoffman as Mr Bergstrom, but “The Simpsons: A Complete Guide to Our Favorite Family” says Mr Bergstrom was voiced by Sam Etic. That or A. Brooks as Jacques. \*\* Best Episode Title \*\* “Bart of Darkness” \*\* Best Homer “Mmmm” \*\* “Mmmm…Soylent Green” (or) “Mmmm…Open Faced Club Sandwich” \*\* Best Couch Gag \*\* The one with the bumper cars. Beep beep! \*\* Best Ralph Line \*\* “I choo-choo-choose you!” \*\* Best Quickie Song \*\* “Mr Plow, that’s my name, that name again is Mr Plow!” (or) “Simpson, Homer Simpson, he’s the greatest guy in history, from the town of Springfield, he’s about to hit a chestnut tree!” \*\* Best Itchy and Scratchy Title \*\* “Burning Down the Mouse” (or) “Why Do Fools Fall in Lava?” \*\* Best Sign \*\* On the Krusty Home Pregnancy Test: “Warning: May Cause Birth Defects!” \*\* Best Phony '50s Style Filmstrip \*\* “Meat and You: Partners in Freedom” (or) “Moon of Earth” ---
**Author:** ![RawkStah](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/46a35a/32.png) [@RawkStah](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RawkStah)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2003, 3:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ultimate-simpsons-poll/152782/95 "2003-03-03T03:31:08Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Annie-Xmas \* > **Best Otto moment: At the mall, walking out of Stoner’s Pot Palace "Man, I can think of two things wrong with that sign."** No, no, no! When he left Stoner’s Pot Palace, Otto said “Man, that is BLATANT false advertizing.” “Man, I can think of at least two things wrong with that title,” was said by Nelson, after he, Bart, Milhouse and Martin went to see “Naked Lunch” using Bart’s fake ID. BEST PRODUCTS: Nuts & Gum – “Together at last!” Tubbb! Mr. Sparkle Creamed Eel Corn Nog BEST MOVIE/TV SHOW TITLES: “Hail to the Chimp” “Admiral Baby” BEST APU RANT: His brutal berating of Skinner for his idea for the “Great American Novel” – a rehashing of “Jurrasic Park”. ---
**Author:** ![mobo85](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b19c9b/32.png) [@mobo85](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mobo85)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2003, 3:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ultimate-simpsons-poll/152782/96 "2003-03-03T03:36:55Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by RawkStah \* > \*\*BEST APU RANT: > His brutal berating of Skinner for his idea for the “Great American Novel” – a rehashing of “Jurrasic Park”. \*\* With that wonderful title, _Billy and the Clonosaurus._ ---
**Author:** ![RawkStah](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/46a35a/32.png) [@RawkStah](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RawkStah)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2003, 3:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ultimate-simpsons-poll/152782/97 "2003-03-03T03:45:05Z")
MOST TOUCHING MOMENT: The episode where Skinner gets fired. Bart gets him his job back, and the two realize that they must be enemies again. They hug, and each walks away chuckling. Bart has put a sign on Skinner’s back that says “Kick Me”. Sknner has put a sign on Bart’s back that says “Teach Me”. Awwww. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Wrong](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@Mr.Wrong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Wrong)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2003, 4:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ultimate-simpsons-poll/152782/98 "2003-03-03T04:52:50Z")
**Best Song** _We Put the Spring in Springfield_ **Best Celebrity Appearance** U2- “He’s talkin’ about Waste Management, and that affects the whole damn planet.” Also generated my favorite line of the series(maybe), when Burns calls them “wankers” on the plane at the very end. **Best Troy McClure ID** You might remember me from such dates as _Last Night’s Dinner_ **Best Restaraunt** You Thai Now! ---
**Author:** ![Lisa-go-Blind](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7c8e57/32.png) [@Lisa-go-Blind](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lisa-go-Blind)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2003, 11:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ultimate-simpsons-poll/152782/99 "2003-03-04T23:07:25Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Lisa-go-Blind \* > \*\*\*\* Best Guest Apperance as Character \*\* > I would say Dustin Hoffman as Mr Bergstrom, but “The Simpsons: A Complete Guide to Our Favorite Family” says Mr Bergstrom was voiced by Sam Etic. \*\* Boy, do I feel dumb. After thinking on this for a while, I thought, “Hey, ‘Sam Etic’ sounds an awful lot like ‘semetic’.” Then I looked up Dustin Hoffman’s profile on IMDB, and, sure enough, he is alternately credited as “Sam Etic”. ;j ---
**Author:** ![mobo85](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b19c9b/32.png) [@mobo85](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mobo85)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2003, 11:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ultimate-simpsons-poll/152782/100 "2003-03-04T23:22:48Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Lisa-go-Blind \* > \*\*Boy, do I feel dumb. After thinking on this for a while, I thought, “Hey, ‘Sam Etic’ sounds an awful lot like ‘semetic’.” Then I looked up Dustin Hoffman’s profile on IMDB, and, sure enough, he is alternately credited as “Sam Etic”. ;j \*\* This is a good lead-in to my **FAVORITE SELF-REFERENTIAL JOKE** Lisa, after seeing _The Itchy and Scratchy Movie_: “There were all sorts of famous people! Dustin Hoffman, Michael Jackson…of course, they didn’t use their real names, but you could tell it was them.” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ultimate-simpsons-poll/152782.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ultimate-simpsons-poll/152782.md?page=6)