# Um, fuck you, you condescending fuck. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [October 9, 2004, 11:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/um-fuck-you-you-condescending-fuck/268413 "2004-10-09T23:19:47Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![smartini](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/22d042/32.png) [@smartini](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/smartini)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2004, 5:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/um-fuck-you-you-condescending-fuck/268413/41 "2004-10-10T05:59:26Z")
I always thought of ‘Umm’ as in ‘Umm let me think about that…’ but now I see the error of my ways. That should be ‘Hmmm let me think about that…’ I had no idea the nuance of these ‘tone-setters’ was so fraught with meaning. Should we start a _Doper Dictionary_ ? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Merkwurdigliebe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/74df32/32.png) [@Merkwurdigliebe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Merkwurdigliebe)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2004, 7:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/um-fuck-you-you-condescending-fuck/268413/42 "2004-10-10T07:09:40Z")
umm, no. You should chill dude :rolleyes: 😛 Okay I’m doing it on purpose. But I think it isn’t always annoying, because sometimes it means an actual hesitancy to respond, but other times it is this faux hesitancy to respond that people put in just because they are ITCHING to correct without seeming like a total ass. I guess you have to tell by the posters previous posts. Um doesn’t bother me as much as “um… no” does. that shit really pisses me off. ---
**Author:** ![Evil\_Death](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ecccb3/32.png) [@Evil\_Death](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Evil_Death)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2004, 9:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/um-fuck-you-you-condescending-fuck/268413/43 "2004-10-10T09:12:07Z")
> [@fetus](#): > > I absolutely agree. It really chaps me when people do that. So someone knows more about something than someone else. So what? Big freakin’ deal! Make your correction if you must, be courteous about it, and don’t be an ass. It’s not about knowing more than them. It’s about them having just said something that is extremely ignorant in one way or another, and you wanting to correct them without yelling, “Hey, you twitching fucktard, why don’t you learn what you’re fuckin’ talking about before you waste any more of our time with your witless gibbering?” In that sense at least, it _is_ a courtesy. ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2004, 9:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/um-fuck-you-you-condescending-fuck/268413/44 "2004-10-10T09:12:11Z")
“Um,” “er,” “uh,”—it’s all the freakin’ same to me. I don’t think it’s condescending. I think somebody’s a mite touchy. Now, “m’kay,” that annoys the living fuck outta me. ---
**Author:** ![levdrakon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/49beb7/32.png) [@levdrakon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/levdrakon)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2004, 10:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/um-fuck-you-you-condescending-fuck/268413/45 "2004-10-10T10:22:31Z")
I don’t mind little hesitation words either but there’s something about that particular word, “um.” It’s not bad when used later in the post. But when a post starts with “um,” what follows is usually a flaming attack on the previous poster’s intelligence. So unless I’m in the Pit, I winch a little whenever I see a post start with “um.” It just seems a bit harsh for the more civilized boards. Poster 1: I wonder, when eating soup, is it proper to draw the spoon away from you, or towards you? Poster 2: Why my dear, of course it’s quite proper to draw the spoon away from you, and thank you so much for asking. Poster 3: Well of course one should draw the spoon away from oneself, but certainly no one would think less of you if you didn’t. Poster 4: um, no you stupid fucking dumbass cunt. You can eat your Goddamned soup any fucking way you want, moron! :eek: ---
**Author:** ![bluecanary](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bluecanary/32/3614_2.png) [@bluecanary](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bluecanary)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2004, 10:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/um-fuck-you-you-condescending-fuck/268413/46 "2004-10-10T10:39:45Z")
As **TeaElle** and **EddyTeddyFreddy** , I’ve always used "er, " as a marker for hesitancy. I thought “um” and “uh” were just regional variations on “er”. ---
**Author:** ![snermy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d6d6ee/32.png) [@snermy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/snermy)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2004, 1:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/um-fuck-you-you-condescending-fuck/268413/47 "2004-10-10T13:19:52Z")
I’d usually use it when I’m pointing out something extremely obvious. The tone may indeed be condescending. That’s not because of the um. That’s because of the insanely obvious part. And um, I hesitate to point this out, because, Jeez, with the obvious, but " fuck off you know-it-all cunt" has a fairly rude and condescending tone to it. [chirpily condesceding] But thank _you_ for using your chance to correct us in a public forum. Since you aren’t in it to feel superior, I hope it made you feel just a little more petty today! [/chirpy] Yep, that’s just the tone I was going for. ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2004, 1:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/um-fuck-you-you-condescending-fuck/268413/48 "2004-10-10T13:28:11Z")
I can’t believe nobody’s mentioned “I can’t believe nobody’s mentioned” yet. ---
**Author:** ![calm\_kiwi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9fc348/32.png) [@calm\_kiwi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/calm_kiwi)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2004, 1:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/um-fuck-you-you-condescending-fuck/268413/49 "2004-10-10T13:57:13Z")
> [@jjimm](#): > > I can’t believe nobody’s mentioned “I can’t believe nobody’s mentioned” yet. Oh I’m sure I must have mentioned that! ---
**Author:** ![Richard\_Pearse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/richard_pearse/32/13144_2.png) [@Richard\_Pearse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Richard_Pearse)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2004, 2:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/um-fuck-you-you-condescending-fuck/268413/50 "2004-10-10T14:53:19Z")
I think _um…_ can sound a little like fake hesitation. Like “um… [let me think about that] no, YOUR WRONG”. It is subtle but _um_ can definitely sound negative. No doubt it depends a lot on your ability to pick tone from written words. Some people hear it when it’s not there others are completely oblivious YMMV. ---
**Author:** ![Profane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/e47774/32.png) [@Profane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Profane)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2004, 3:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/um-fuck-you-you-condescending-fuck/268413/51 "2004-10-10T15:10:45Z")
> [@SparrowHawk](#): > > I’ve used “um” and I’ve only ever used it as a mark of hesitancy. I had no idea so many other people weren’t reading it that way. Now I feel like I have to go back and issue apologies. ☹ Yeah, me too. Who thought two letters could piss anyone off so much? ---
**Author:** ![fortytwo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/f9ae1b/32.png) [@fortytwo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fortytwo)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2004, 3:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/um-fuck-you-you-condescending-fuck/268413/52 "2004-10-10T15:34:24Z")
> [@pulykamell](#): > > Now, “m’kay,” that annoys the living fuck outta me. You and me both! Perhaps it’s because I haven’t got a fucking clue what it means. ---
**Author:** ![Greathouse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/greathouse/32/2992_2.png) [@Greathouse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Greathouse)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2004, 3:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/um-fuck-you-you-condescending-fuck/268413/53 "2004-10-10T15:46:48Z")
> [@Vetch](#): > > You and me both! > Perhaps it’s because I haven’t got a fucking clue what it means. I believe it is from Mr. Garrison on South Park. ---
**Author:** ![Evil\_Death](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ecccb3/32.png) [@Evil\_Death](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Evil_Death)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2004, 4:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/um-fuck-you-you-condescending-fuck/268413/54 "2004-10-10T16:48:29Z")
> [@Profane](#): > > Yeah, me too. Who thought two letters could piss anyone off so much? Yeah, well, I imagine when people are constantly pointing out to you that you’re missng the blatantly fucking obvious all the time, it does piss you off when they’re transparently trying to avoid condescension. ---
**Author:** ![SteveG1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bb73d2/32.png) [@SteveG1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SteveG1)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2004, 5:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/um-fuck-you-you-condescending-fuck/268413/55 "2004-10-10T17:40:43Z")
> [@Evil Death](#): > > Yeah, well, I imagine when people are constantly pointing out to you that you’re missing the blatantly fucking obvious all the time, it does piss you off when they’re transparently trying to avoid condescension. In the same tone, how about when they aren’t missing it but ummm deliberately **ignoring** the fucking ummm obvious, mkay. Or when they ummm deliberately spin off on a fucking tangent about semantics or other unrelated bullshit to avoid the ummm obvious fucking point that they are full of shit, mkay. Tongue firmly in cheek (another “annoying” one). That was fun. LMAO ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2004, 5:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/um-fuck-you-you-condescending-fuck/268413/56 "2004-10-10T17:45:02Z")
> [@Greathouse](#): > > I believe it is from Mr. Garrison on South Park. Nope. It’s Mr. Mackey, the counselor. ---
**Author:** ![RedFury](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ec9cab/32.png) [@RedFury](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RedFury)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2004, 6:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/um-fuck-you-you-condescending-fuck/268413/57 "2004-10-10T18:53:18Z")
Um, er, I can’t believe so many of you take this shit so seriously. M’kay? ---
**Author:** ![The\_Wrong\_Girl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b782af/32.png) [@The\_Wrong\_Girl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Wrong_Girl)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2004, 8:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/um-fuck-you-you-condescending-fuck/268413/58 "2004-10-10T20:27:26Z")
There are actually other boards (I’m pretty sure Television without Pity and Fametracker are among them) that forbid starting your posts with “um.” So this isn’t really one isolated person’s pet peeve. ---
**Author:** ![Zoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/a4c791/32.png) [@Zoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zoe)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2004, 10:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/um-fuck-you-you-condescending-fuck/268413/59 "2004-10-10T22:50:11Z")
Am I stating the obvious when I say that _m’kay_ is a dialectical pronunciation of _okay_? Sometimes when I use “um,” I do it when the other person _has_ said something ignorant and mean. Actually, I did that the day that this OP went up. A Doper had referred to homeless people who take cigarettes in exchange for voting (not for any particular candidate) as “mercenaries.” She/he said that they should just stay at home. I began my response with something like, "Um…that seems to be the problem. They’re _home_less. (Thinking back about the post, I see my own ignorance. How can they be registered voters without a permanent address? Well, _maybe._) At any rate, the politics of voting and the homeless issue aside, was this an inappropriate use of “um…”? Feel free to trample my feelings. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Colophon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f05b48/32.png) [@Colophon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colophon)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2004, 12:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/um-fuck-you-you-condescending-fuck/268413/60 "2004-10-11T00:53:51Z")
:rolleyes: Huh? Um, from what I’ve read on the Pit today, this ought to be the most cheek-chappingly annoying post, ever. M’kay? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/um-fuck-you-you-condescending-fuck/268413.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/um-fuck-you-you-condescending-fuck/268413.md?page=4)