# Um...I'm Not Sure What to Say About this Story: **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 30, 2005, 9:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/um-im-not-sure-what-to-say-about-this-story/333446 "2005-11-30T21:39:24Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 9\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Hostile\_Dialect](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e495f1/32.png) [@Hostile\_Dialect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hostile_Dialect)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2005, 10:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/um-im-not-sure-what-to-say-about-this-story/333446/81 "2005-12-03T22:36:02Z")
Give head to the dead, boys, give head to the dead … (Necrophilia’s best) Have you heard the new motto of the National Association for the Preservation of Necrophilia? “Crack open a cold one!” > [@eleanorigby](#): > > We keep all our cows in zoos, now–it’s part of the fire insurance policy, it reduces the city’s premiums. I was worried no one would get it! > [@eleanorigby](#): > > Were these guys mentally um…altered in any way? Please tell me they were drunk or high or tweaking (whatever that is) or something… Tweaking means taking methamphetamine. I’ve done all three at some point in my life, including various other combinations of illicit substances, and never, ever, ever had the desire to have sex with a horse–or, for that matter, any other non-human entity. ---
**Author:** ![Pixiesnix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/898d66/32.png) [@Pixiesnix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pixiesnix)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2005, 6:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/um-im-not-sure-what-to-say-about-this-story/333446/82 "2005-12-04T06:01:20Z")
All these posts and not **one** reference to Catherine the Great? I mean, sure, it probably never really happened…but the legend lives on. ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2005, 8:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/um-im-not-sure-what-to-say-about-this-story/333446/83 "2005-12-04T08:34:36Z")
> [@The Big Cheese](#): > > I just quick read it initially. I thought \*he \*was doing the horse, but it was the other way around?? Eeoow. That was my first thought, too. Apparently, despite my observations, sometimes I still assume that people won’t sink to certain levels of stupidity. I’ve got to stop doing that. ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2005, 9:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/um-im-not-sure-what-to-say-about-this-story/333446/84 "2005-12-04T09:03:46Z")
> [@Marley23](#): > > Apparently, despite my observations, sometimes I still assume that people won’t sink to certain levels of stupidity. It’s not so hard to understand, really. Clearly the man simply misunderstood the axiom, “After you’ve had a twenty-inch horse-cock up your ass, you’ll never want anything else up there again.” ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2005, 6:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/um-im-not-sure-what-to-say-about-this-story/333446/85 "2005-12-05T18:25:27Z")
> [@KCSuze](#): > > Why did the zoo have a _cow_ ? Strangers breaking in at night to bugger their beasts? **Any** zookeeper would have a cow! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2005, 6:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/um-im-not-sure-what-to-say-about-this-story/333446/86 "2005-12-05T18:27:49Z")
> [@Malacandra](#): > > [spoiler]Stick your tool in a mule, mate, stick your tool in a mule > **everybody:** > Fuckawallaby > Stick your tool in a mule, mate, stick your tool in a mule > Ontheotherhand: > > **Chorus:** > Bestiality’s great, mate. Beastiality’s great > Fuckawallaby > Bestiality’s great, mate. Beastiality’s great > [/spoiler] But don’t try those tricks with the hedgehog! 😃 [http://sniff.numachi.com/~rickheit/dtrad/pages/tiHEDGEHOG;ttDUNDEBON.html](http://sniff.numachi.com/~rickheit/dtrad/pages/tiHEDGEHOG;ttDUNDEBON.html) ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2005, 6:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/um-im-not-sure-what-to-say-about-this-story/333446/87 "2005-12-05T18:33:20Z")
This is good a place as any to share with you this ancient chestnut (ancient, necessarily, in that the game show _Password_ ([http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0054560/](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0054560/)) went off the air in 1975). Queen Elizabeth II is a celebrity guest on _Password:_ MC: Yes, Your Majesty, “constitutional monarchy” is correct! Just one more answer and that beautiful lounge suite will be yours! [on the screen, visible to the audience but invisible to the contestants, flashes the word “HORSECOCK”] QEII: Is it . . . animal? MC: Yes, Your Majesty, it is animal! QEII: Is it . . . edible? MC: Well . . . I suppose . . . Yes, Your Majesty, it is edible! QEII: [long pause] . . . Is it horsecock?! ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2005, 3:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/um-im-not-sure-what-to-say-about-this-story/333446/88 "2005-12-11T03:13:52Z")
> [@Larry Mudd](#): > > More [bestiality in the news](http://www.eastbayexpress.com/Issues/2005-11-30/news/bottomfeeder.html). > > I didn’t even _know_ they made dog-penis-shaped dildos. I bet the Knollers did. ---
**Author:** ![movingfinger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@movingfinger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/movingfinger)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2005, 3:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/um-im-not-sure-what-to-say-about-this-story/333446/89 "2005-12-11T03:57:04Z")
Defendant is required to lecture high school students about what he did. Kevin and Leroy stare openmouthed at the speaker, then: Kevin: Duuuuuuude! We were gonna like try that, you know, at old Mr McWallet’s farm. No way now, huh-uh! Leroy: Duuuude, don’t believe that bullshit; its like no big deal. You know Jerry lives down the street from me, well his older brother did it with a horse a few months ago and it’s no big deal, he says. Kevin: You mean his brother Ray; the one walks so funny? Kinda bow-legged? Leroy: Yeah, thats the dude. Hey has he always walked like that? Kevin: Naa, just in the last few months. I dunno what… Both Kevin and Leroy: DUUUUUUUUDE!!! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/um-im-not-sure-what-to-say-about-this-story/333446.md?page=4)