# Um. Underarm Deodorant is truly gross. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 1, 2003, 11:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/um-underarm-deodorant-is-truly-gross/204895 "2003-10-01T11:27:17Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Cartooniverse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cartooniverse/32/3084_2.png) [@Cartooniverse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cartooniverse)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2003, 11:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/um-underarm-deodorant-is-truly-gross/204895/1 "2003-10-01T11:27:17Z")
I use the kind that isn’t solid, but isn’t liquid. You turn the base and it oozes out in a primordial eechy gush, slow and relentless like lava. For reasons unbeknownst to me, some of it self-gushed up into the top of the applicator. Being the cheap bastard I am, I figured what the heck- I’d dip a few fingers in, spread it around under an arm, eliminate the waste. Fine. I applied it in a layer no thicker than usual. Then I took a good look at my hand. Then I went to rinse OFF my hand, and found it to be sealed up better than Saran Wrap !! That stuff is SO incredibly water-repellant. So, it got me thining. I’m rubbing that stuff up in the nether pits each and every day. Aside from the Alzheimers/Aluminum concerns, now I wonder what else that stuff is doing to me by being absorbed directly into the sebaceous glands under my most brawny and manly of arms. It took a lotta soap to get that stuff off, and to make my hands stop feeling really slick. ( My career as a safe-cracker demands that my fingers be sandpaper-coarse 😃 ). Are there alternatives? Do they stop odor? Prevent sweat? I’d take the sweat without the odor, but I have this feeling they are inexorably linked. Cartooniverse ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21825_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2003, 11:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/um-underarm-deodorant-is-truly-gross/204895/2 "2003-10-01T11:33:16Z")
I think George Carlin did a bit eons ago about the old 5-Day Deodorant pads. In it he said something like: > [@](#): > > Put a bay leaf under each arm. It won’t stop wetness, but you’ll smell like soup! ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2003, 11:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/um-underarm-deodorant-is-truly-gross/204895/3 "2003-10-01T11:36:33Z")
Dunno about what it’s doing to your underarms, but ever got some in your mouth? Eeeurg. ---
**Author:** ![peritrochoid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c68b51/32.png) [@peritrochoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/peritrochoid)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2003, 11:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/um-underarm-deodorant-is-truly-gross/204895/4 "2003-10-01T11:57:09Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by jjimm \* > \*\*Dunno about what it’s doing to your underarms, but ever got some in your mouth? Eeeurg. \*\* :dubious: Umm … just how did you do this? Do I even want to know? ---
**Author:** ![Herge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a183cd/32.png) [@Herge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Herge)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2003, 11:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/um-underarm-deodorant-is-truly-gross/204895/5 "2003-10-01T11:59:44Z")
I could hazard a guess… maybe the deoderant was on a ladies armpit…? 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2003, 12:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/um-underarm-deodorant-is-truly-gross/204895/6 "2003-10-01T12:38:23Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Herge \* > \*\*I could hazard a guess… maybe the deoderant was on a ladies armpit…? 🙂 \*\* Correctly hazarded. Following this experience, curiosity got the better of me, and I bought a brand-new stick deodorant and touched my tongue to the top. Gaaah. ---
**Author:** ![DrMemory](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/977dab/32.png) [@DrMemory](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrMemory)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2003, 12:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/um-underarm-deodorant-is-truly-gross/204895/7 "2003-10-01T12:45:20Z")
Mennon (sp) Speed Stick is about the only deoderant I’ve EVER found without Alluminum. It is not an anti-persperant, but unless you sweat like a pig, it should hold you. I too was a bit concerned about the whole alluminum-Oldtimers link, so I went looking. I believe, also Tom’s makes a natural deoderant, but I’ve never tried it. ---
**Author:** ![whiterabbit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/cab0a1/32.png) [@whiterabbit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/whiterabbit)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2003, 1:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/um-underarm-deodorant-is-truly-gross/204895/8 "2003-10-01T13:13:00Z")
I had to borrow some natural stuff (not the Tom’s) from a friend once in a pinch, and found that it didn’t do squat for more than an hour as far as smell goes. It smelled nice enough, but by the end of the day I sure didn’t. I might try the Tom’s sometime, though, as I rather like their toothpaste, though it’s too pricey for my budget at the moment. ---
**Author:** ![Cartooniverse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cartooniverse/32/3084_2.png) [@Cartooniverse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cartooniverse)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2003, 2:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/um-underarm-deodorant-is-truly-gross/204895/9 "2003-10-01T14:41:43Z")
You actually went and BOUGHT some and licked it as a double-blind tests??? :eek: :eek: Perhaps I should bypass this vexing issue and smear Tom’s of Maine toothpaste down there… ---
**Author:** ![UrbanChic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/9dc877/32.png) [@UrbanChic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UrbanChic)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2003, 2:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/um-underarm-deodorant-is-truly-gross/204895/10 "2003-10-01T14:51:13Z")
For the love of all that is holy do not, I repeat, do NOT get antiperspirant in your eye. ---
**Author:** ![Herge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a183cd/32.png) [@Herge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Herge)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2003, 2:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/um-underarm-deodorant-is-truly-gross/204895/11 "2003-10-01T14:55:27Z")
I’ve had it sprayed into my face when playing stupid games as a kid. Not nice. The only thing possibly worse is wiping your eye after chopping hot chillis - wash your hands thoroughly after handling chillis! ---
**Author:** ![mmm.forbidden\_doughnut](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e68b1a/32.png) [@mmm.forbidden\_doughnut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mmm.forbidden_doughnut)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2003, 3:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/um-underarm-deodorant-is-truly-gross/204895/12 "2003-10-01T15:11:53Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Cartooniverse \* > \*\*You actually went and BOUGHT some and licked it as a double-blind tests??? > > :eek: :eek: > > Perhaps I should bypass this vexing issue and smear Tom’s of Maine toothpaste down there… \*\* [public service announcement mode] **Cartooniverse** , honey, I don’t think you want to do that. There was s thread a long time ago where a guy used toothpaste in conjunction with some “self-pleasuring exercises.” I can’t link to it because I’m at work. (you’ll find it with a search of “toothpaste” and mast\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*") Needless to say, the results were less than “satisfying.” :eek: Please be careful. [/public service announcement mode] mmm… ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2003, 3:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/um-underarm-deodorant-is-truly-gross/204895/13 "2003-10-01T15:20:14Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by JuanitaTech \* > \*\*For the love of all that is holy do not, I repeat, do NOT get antiperspirant in your eye. \*\* :eek: Were you inspecting someone’s armpit too closely? ---
**Author:** ![WonderChile](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/9fc348/32.png) [@WonderChile](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WonderChile)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2003, 3:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/um-underarm-deodorant-is-truly-gross/204895/14 "2003-10-01T15:38:33Z")
I wouldn’t recommend Tom’s of Maine. It works pretty well if you let it dry completely. The problem is that to get it to dry completely, you have to walk around with your arms straight up in the air for about 5 minutes. If you decide not to look like an idiot, its sticky and gooey and very unpleasant. ---
**Author:** ![Bruce\_Daddy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/85f322/32.png) [@Bruce\_Daddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bruce_Daddy)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2003, 4:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/um-underarm-deodorant-is-truly-gross/204895/15 "2003-10-01T16:23:58Z")
I sweat profusely. I went through many, many antiperspirants before I found Drysol. Thank you Jesus and Zeus and Jupiter. You can only get it through a perscription but one application lasts me a **month**. I still apply a deoderant to make things smell nice but it’s wonderful. I can’t tell you how embarassing it is to sweat through 2 shirts in the winter. ---
**Author:** ![mmm.forbidden\_doughnut](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e68b1a/32.png) [@mmm.forbidden\_doughnut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mmm.forbidden_doughnut)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2003, 5:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/um-underarm-deodorant-is-truly-gross/204895/16 "2003-10-01T17:10:14Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Bruce\_Daddy \* > \*\*I sweat profusely. I went through many, many antiperspirants before I found Drysol. Thank you Jesus and Zeus and Jupiter. You can only get it through a perscription but one application lasts me a **month**. I still apply a deoderant to make things smell nice but it’s wonderful. I can’t tell you how embarassing it is to sweat through 2 shirts in the winter. \*\* I know what it _says_ but I want to make sure I understand you, **Bruce\_Daddy.** Are you saying you put this stuff on once and it keeps you sweat-free for a month? Or is it that one _prescription_ lasts you a month? If it’s the former, why can’t we all use it and rid ourselves of the putrid aroma of B.O.? mmm… (who avoids sweating at almost any cost) ---
**Author:** ![Bruce\_Daddy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/85f322/32.png) [@Bruce\_Daddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bruce_Daddy)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2003, 6:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/um-underarm-deodorant-is-truly-gross/204895/17 "2003-10-01T18:03:41Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by mmm… forbidden doughnut \* > \*\*I know what it _says_ but I want to make sure I understand you, **Bruce\_Daddy.** Are you saying you put this stuff on once and it keeps you sweat-free for a month? Or is it that one _prescription_ lasts you a month? If it’s the former, why can’t we all use it and rid ourselves of the putrid aroma of B.O.? > > mmm… > (who avoids sweating at almost any cost) \*\* One application lasts a month (or more) The bottle lasts . . . god, forever. Like more than a year. And it’s cheap, too! It’s other applications _snort_ are for people with incredibly sweaty palms or feet. The only downside is that the night you put it on, it kind of stings. It’s super duper powerful. [More](http://www.drugstore.com/qxa1067_333181_sespider-what_is_drysol.htm). ---
**Author:** ![Cartooniverse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cartooniverse/32/3084_2.png) [@Cartooniverse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cartooniverse)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2003, 7:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/um-underarm-deodorant-is-truly-gross/204895/18 "2003-10-01T19:02:57Z")
Sounds a lot like applying Polyurethane to one’s pits. Still, I’m glad you have found relief, **Bruce\_Daddy**. **mmm**? That was very hilarious. Who knew that Blistex had THAT MUCH menthol oil??? :eek: I realize we’re going far afield and enjoying it, but… what should I use if I have an average amount of perspiration under the arms, and wish to not have aluminum slowly work it’s way into my cerebral cortex? ( My pits. Mind you, I said my pits. My knees sweat more than Nixon when he debated Kennedy, but that’s just me. 😃 ) ---
**Author:** ![Iteki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/eada6e/32.png) [@Iteki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Iteki)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2003, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/um-underarm-deodorant-is-truly-gross/204895/19 "2003-10-01T19:31:51Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by JuanitaTech \* > \*\*For the love of all that is holy do not, I repeat, do NOT get antiperspirant in your eye. \*\* Too late ☹ Roll-on deo, splashed into my eye during overly hasty application while in a rush one morning. Suffice to say I was extremely late to work. ---
**Author:** ![Freiheit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e8c25b/32.png) [@Freiheit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freiheit)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2003, 12:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/um-underarm-deodorant-is-truly-gross/204895/20 "2003-10-02T00:24:57Z")
Recently, I switched to Arrid XX spray deoderant. Pretty good stuff, but it’s almost impossible to know when you’ve put any/enough on. It can also be used in more unique situations than stick stuff (backpack, buttcrack, etc.) re: eating deoderant: don’t breathe through your mouth for 60s after spraying it. GACK. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/um-underarm-deodorant-is-truly-gross/204895.md?page=2)