# Um, wow, I have no idea what to say to that. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 7, 2005, 11:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/um-wow-i-have-no-idea-what-to-say-to-that/329979 "2005-11-07T23:35:58Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![DiosaBellissima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a8b319/32.png) [@DiosaBellissima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DiosaBellissima)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2005, 6:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/um-wow-i-have-no-idea-what-to-say-to-that/329979/21 "2005-11-08T06:23:23Z")
> [@Ghanima](#): > > This was the way I l,earned to keep my damn mouth shut about stuff like this: > > The guy in college who I had a HUGE crush on walked into a small gathering one night. His hair which was previously halfway down his back was gone. Completely gone. He was shaved completely bald. > Me: “Oh no! Why did you do that? Your hair was so awesome! I liked it so much better long!” > Him: “Well, the chemotherapy was making it fall out so I figured I’d just go ahead and chop it all off.” > Me: :o :eek!: :o :eek: :eek: Oh goodness… yeah :eek: First, if I were the OP I would probably say some cheerful comment like, "Oh well I LOVE IT! Thanks for your input though! 😃 " Then again, the person who said “Oh no! Your hair was so pretty! Why did you cut it off?”, seems pretty reasonable. They liked your hair the other way and they were simply expressing that. Would you rather they lie and stroke your ego? “Don’t worry, it’ll grow back.” Well, that’s just shitty. ---
**Author:** ![Nilor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/a4c791/32.png) [@Nilor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nilor)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2005, 7:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/um-wow-i-have-no-idea-what-to-say-to-that/329979/22 "2005-11-08T07:22:36Z")
“Don’t worry, it’ll grow back” “Do you really mean it? The doctors all said it would, but I planted some in my garden two weeks ago and it hasn’t grown an inch!” ---
**Author:** ![Ms\_Macphisto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b487fb/32.png) [@Ms\_Macphisto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ms_Macphisto)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2005, 7:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/um-wow-i-have-no-idea-what-to-say-to-that/329979/23 "2005-11-08T07:53:54Z")
> [@DiosaBellissima](#): > > “Don’t worry, it’ll grow back.” Well, that’s just shitty. Gah. That reminds me of a former co-worker’s reaction after I cut my hair from waist length to mid-back. She commented on the hair cut, asked me if I liked it shorter, I assured her quite enthusiastically that I did, and the response was “Oh well, it’ll grow back eventually” What? I tell you I’m loving the new hair cut, and you try to reassure me that it won’t be like that forever? I felt like I’d missed some significant portion of the conversation. ---
**Author:** ![max\_yasgur](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f07891/32.png) [@max\_yasgur](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/max_yasgur)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2005, 8:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/um-wow-i-have-no-idea-what-to-say-to-that/329979/24 "2005-11-08T08:56:49Z")
Q: Oooh, you cut your hair? Why? My A: Lice. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2005, 9:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/um-wow-i-have-no-idea-what-to-say-to-that/329979/25 "2005-11-08T09:09:45Z")
The best response is to just look at the person for a long second, then ask, “Are you listening to yourself when you say things like that?” ---
**Author:** ![yingtongtiddleipo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/f6c823/32.png) [@yingtongtiddleipo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yingtongtiddleipo)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2005, 10:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/um-wow-i-have-no-idea-what-to-say-to-that/329979/26 "2005-11-08T10:07:16Z")
> [@wonder9](#): > > The proper response to comments of this kind are straight out of Ms. Manners. You look the offender directly in the eye, hold their gaze, and say…nothing. Look pained, but not at the comment, just the unfortunateness that someone would say something so rude and uncalled for to a person they call a friend. No other comments are necessary. Absolutely… _applauds_ … I also find a quizzically raised eyebrow and a supercilliously flared nostril excellent non-verbal communication of disdain for their rudeness! ---
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2005, 11:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/um-wow-i-have-no-idea-what-to-say-to-that/329979/27 "2005-11-08T11:47:38Z")
> [@rkts](#): > > If she didn’t give a rat’s ass about the remark, why did she start a thread about it? **alice** meant that most women (unless they’re trying to attract a _particular_ man) don’t plan their hair style/length around an open poll of men they know and would rather not even hear about it. I think **Kyla** hates that they decide to openly, even insultingly share their opinions, especially since she’s on the fence about how she feels. I used to wear my hair long and heard enough bitching and moaning from men, none of whom were dating me and thus entitled to have any kind of meaningful vote on the situation, after I cut it short. If they cared so damned much about it, they could feel free to take my hank of cut-off hair and wash it, spend the half-hour or more required to blowdry it (or wait 4+ hours for the thick stuff to drip-dry), trim the split ends, apply lots of products to cut down on the frizz, and so forth. I didn’t want to fucking deal with it any longer. ---
**Author:** ![Jayn\_Newell](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Jayn\_Newell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jayn_Newell)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2005, 1:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/um-wow-i-have-no-idea-what-to-say-to-that/329979/28 "2005-11-08T13:01:22Z")
“Don’t worry, it’ll grow back” Damn. I was hoping it would stay short forever. My ex-roommates fiance once said something to the effect of (Effect? I think he stated it plain as day) that if his girlfriend ever cut her hair short he would break up with her. Not that this would ever affect me because 1) I’ve sworn off short hair–My hair is really thick and it’s hard to get short styles to look good, and 2) Well, he’s engaged, not that I’d date him if he wasn’t. (Nice guy, just not my type) ---
**Author:** ![wonder9](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c57346/32.png) [@wonder9](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonder9)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2005, 1:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/um-wow-i-have-no-idea-what-to-say-to-that/329979/29 "2005-11-08T13:20:17Z")
> [@yingtongtiddleipo](#): > > Absolutely… _applauds_ … I also find a quizzically raised eyebrow and a supercilliously flared nostril excellent non-verbal communication of disdain for their rudeness! What a neat trick! How do you get just the one nostril to flare? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![yingtongtiddleipo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/f6c823/32.png) [@yingtongtiddleipo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yingtongtiddleipo)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2005, 1:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/um-wow-i-have-no-idea-what-to-say-to-that/329979/30 "2005-11-08T13:47:48Z")
> [@wonder9](#): > > What a neat trick! How do you get just the one nostril to flare? 😃 Ah the infamous ‘half-kenneth’ (google ‘kenneth williams’ for the ultimate in nasal disdain) Begin with a blank face. Now imagine a really bad smell. Raise one eyebrow in a Roger Moore Tip your head back just enough that you’re looking down your nose at the disdainee Stiffen/purse your lips just a little Raise/twich the left hand side of your mouth juuuuust a little et voila. Single Nostil Flaring in one easy lesson. . . . . . . Awwww… dontcha look cute doing that 😉 ---
**Author:** ![whiterabbit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/cab0a1/32.png) [@whiterabbit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/whiterabbit)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2005, 1:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/um-wow-i-have-no-idea-what-to-say-to-that/329979/31 "2005-11-08T13:50:40Z")
> [@PinkNailFile](#): > > Not quite what the OP was asking for, but I have really blue eyes and a lot of times people come up to me and say “Wow, Pink! Your eyes are so blue!” Umm… what an astute observation…? There’s not really anything to say to that. It’s a statement, not a compliment or an insult. It gets to the point where I would much rather have people insult me than say “Your eyes are so blue!” I’m really short. “Wow, you’re short!” I get that a lot. I give kids a pass, but adults irritate me. WTF am I supposed to say? It’s not like I never noticed. ---
**Author:** ![eleanorigby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@eleanorigby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eleanorigby)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2005, 2:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/um-wow-i-have-no-idea-what-to-say-to-that/329979/32 "2005-11-08T14:21:30Z")
Oh, stop with the blue eyes thingy already. I also have blue eyes–dark, faded navy blue. If I had a dime for every time someone said to me, “those are contacts, right?” and then NOT believed me when I say no, I could at least buy dinner at a really expensive restaurant. Same with my hair-“that’s permed, right?” is something I get alot. No, and no and STFU. You sound like a moron. off to have some caffeine as I am obviously not fit for people yet. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Chao\_Goes\_Mu](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/the_chao_goes_mu/32/3191_2.png) [@The\_Chao\_Goes\_Mu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Chao_Goes_Mu)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2005, 2:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/um-wow-i-have-no-idea-what-to-say-to-that/329979/33 "2005-11-08T14:28:47Z")
> [@whiterabbit](#): > > I’m really short. “Wow, you’re short!” I get that a lot. I give kids a pass, but adults irritate me. > > WTF am I supposed to say? It’s not like I never noticed. Them: “Wow you’re short!” You: “Yes, and I noticed that your crotch stinks” (turn on one heel and merrily stride away) Regarding hair Them: “Don’t worry, it’ll grow back” Me: “Does hair grow back after chemo?” ``` Ha! ``` Them: “Oh my god!” :eek: “I didn’t know you had _cancer_ I’m so sorry!” Me: “I don’t have cancer” Them: “But…you said… um, what about the chemo?” Me: “Oh, I just asked you if hair grew back after chemo. I was just curious.” Then I give them a mild look of disgust and pity. Then walk away. BTW. I am by no means making light of cancer. ---
**Author:** ![Helen\_s\_Eidolon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/8edcca/32.png) [@Helen\_s\_Eidolon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Helen_s_Eidolon)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2005, 2:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/um-wow-i-have-no-idea-what-to-say-to-that/329979/34 "2005-11-08T14:29:50Z")
As a matter of fact, I’m fairly certain that the co-worker in question was female. ---
**Author:** ![missbunny](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/76d3ee/32.png) [@missbunny](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/missbunny)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2005, 2:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/um-wow-i-have-no-idea-what-to-say-to-that/329979/35 "2005-11-08T14:54:40Z")
> [@rkts](#): > > I think you may underestimate the degree to which some guys (and I assume they were male) _hate_ short hair. For some of us, sometimes, you may as well have lost a leg, or excised a breast or two. You are so right. There are always situations where rude and thoughtless comments are perfectly justified. Dismay over someone else cutting her hair to a style not of one’s own preference is obviously one of those times. ---
**Author:** ![Aangelica](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b2d939/32.png) [@Aangelica](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aangelica)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2005, 3:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/um-wow-i-have-no-idea-what-to-say-to-that/329979/36 "2005-11-08T15:23:41Z")
I’m going to have to endorse the surprised silence method personally. At least for Little Miss “Don’t Worry It’ll Grow Back”. Once upon a time I had hair to my knees. Curly hair to my knees. I have an emphatic hand gesture for anyone who thinks I should keep hair like that because “men hate short hair”. Yes, _that_ hand gesture. My hair now is by no means short, but Mary, Mother of God knee length curly hair is an unbelievable hassle to care for. Just keeping it clean and groomed sucked up an hour of my day - not counting styling. Just the washing and brushing part. It was impossible to shower in less than half an hour, took huge amounts of water to wash and rinse, needed to be washed and rinsed _daily_, was heavy, and it’s not like anyone got to touch or even see the damn stuff. With really long hair, you keep it up. I have close friends and relatives who (until I whacked it off) had never seen me with my hair down. Braided, bunned, under a hat, wrapped, something. You can’t even really pull it into a pony tail. The pony tail still falls to the middle of the thighs or so. That doesn’t help much with the tangling, getting caught in doors, clothing, being sat on (sometimes by _other people_), getting into food and beverages (sometimes belonging to _other people_), and let me assure you getting knee-length hair caught in a revolving door is not something to be repeated. You can’t bend down or even over a little without it dragging on the floor - hell, you can’t sit down without it dragging on the floor. God forbid the wind should blow - or there should be a fan. Fans were the bane of my existence. And let’s not talk about all the jackasses who, should I choose to wear it down, felt it was their right and privilege to pet me without permission. Plus in my case, it was a fairly improbable color of dark red. Thanks for that Grandma. It was my natural color, but damned if anyone would believe me - and they’d get quite incensed when I wouldn’t tell them my “secret”. And you can’t dye hair that length. Just… no. Hell when I went in to get it cut, I couldn’t even get a stylist to touch it. I had to take the scissors, whack off three or four feet myself and then tell them to tidy up the rest. I’m glad it’s gone. Never again, folks, never again. Maybe it was pretty (I didn’t really think so, personally), but it was also well past inconvenient into worthlessness. Plus, the people from Locks of Love were all kinds of excited about it. I think they made like three wigs from me alone. ---
**Author:** ![Scarlett67](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scarlett67/32/7387_2.png) [@Scarlett67](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scarlett67)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2005, 4:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/um-wow-i-have-no-idea-what-to-say-to-that/329979/37 "2005-11-08T16:07:13Z")
> [@congodwarf](#): > > 17 years old, going to the RMV to get my learners permit. I handed my paperwork to the lady at the desk. She looks it over - looks at me and asks, > “Oh, you’re from Northampton. Are you a Lesbian?” > > :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: > You’ve got to be friggen kidding me. I couldn’t even breathe - I was so shocked. I was born in Northampton. I was there for about 3 days. I have never lived there. The town may be the lesbian capitol of the universe but 1. It’s not catching and 2. even if it were, I think I’d need a bit more than 3 days exposure to become infected. > > I never even did manage to say something to the dolt. 8 years later, I’m still in awe that someone would ask a question like that. \ Mrs. Beaumont: Are you married? Fiona: No. Mrs. Beaumont: Are you a lesbian? Fiona: Good lord! What makes you ask that? Mrs. Beaumont: Well, it is one of the possibilites for unmarried girls nowadays, and it’s rather more interesting than saying, “Oh dear, never met the right chap,” eh? Fiona: Quite right. Why be dull? Mrs. Beaumont: Thank you. [long pause] Fiona: I was a lesbian once at school, but only for about fifteen minutes. \ ---
**Author:** ![Kyla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/eada6e/32.png) [@Kyla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kyla)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2005, 9:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/um-wow-i-have-no-idea-what-to-say-to-that/329979/38 "2005-11-08T21:19:00Z")
> [@LaurAnge](#): > > As a matter of fact, I’m fairly certain that the co-worker in question was female. This is correct, the one who cheered me up by telling me my hair would grow back was female. The other coworker was male. (As an aside, I think he has children around my age, and talks to me in a rather fatherly manner, which I don’t really appreciate. I already have a dad. Who, in fact, was always telling me to get my hair cut short, so I think he’ll like my new do, I’m seeing him at Thanksgiving.) **whiterabbit** , you remind me of one of my own foot-in-mouth moments, when I met a Doper of very small stature at a Dopefest. I think the exact words were “Wow! How tall _are_ you?” I immediately tried to come up with an excuse for my horrible faux pas, but I know I annoyed her and I still - several years later - feel like a dumbass when I think of it. We’ve now been on each other’s LiveJournal friends lists for a long time and I think she’s forgiven me, but every time she mentions how annoying it is when people comment on her height, I wince. Thanks for the anecdotes and advice! ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2005, 9:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/um-wow-i-have-no-idea-what-to-say-to-that/329979/39 "2005-11-08T21:44:06Z")
Yeah, well, I’ve asked the first question at least. I’m a girl, but I think long hair is way prettier on women than short. I just do, and that’s not going to change. So when I say, “Why did you cut your hair? It looked so pretty long?” I don’t mean it’s ugly now, but that I liked it long. That’s all. Why would you get offended? 😕 ---
**Author:** ![anyrose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/54ee81/32.png) [@anyrose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/anyrose)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2005, 9:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/um-wow-i-have-no-idea-what-to-say-to-that/329979/40 "2005-11-08T21:55:23Z")
now why are those the only two choices? couldn’t a woman be single by choice rather than necessity? sheesh :rolleyes: 😃 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/um-wow-i-have-no-idea-what-to-say-to-that/329979.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/um-wow-i-have-no-idea-what-to-say-to-that/329979.md?page=3)