# Umm...gosh...no, I don't actually want to suck your cock, but...thanks for asking? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 11, 2013, 8:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/umm-gosh-no-i-dont-actually-want-to-suck-your-cock-but-thanks-for-asking/663247 "2013-07-11T20:03:24Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![GrandWino](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grandwino/32/67_2.png) [@GrandWino](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrandWino)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2013, 7:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/umm-gosh-no-i-dont-actually-want-to-suck-your-cock-but-thanks-for-asking/663247/61 "2013-07-14T19:58:25Z")
> [@Stoid](#): > > You lead a very sheltered life, don’t you Bob? If not abusing prescription medication makes me sheltered, then yes. ---
**Author:** ![lorene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/65b543/32.png) [@lorene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lorene)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2013, 9:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/umm-gosh-no-i-dont-actually-want-to-suck-your-cock-but-thanks-for-asking/663247/62 "2013-07-14T21:27:11Z")
> [@Bob Ducca](#): > > You probably shouldn’t give prescription medication away and there’s probably a reason he ran out between scrips. My opinion is my cite, but I think the kind of people that pass around pills like they’re candy are also the kind of people that aren’t too hard to get casual sex from. > [@Stoid](#): > > You lead a very sheltered life, don’t you Bob? I dunno; I kind of thought the same thing. You’d already given him money and a controlled substance. It probably seemed to him that the leap from those to a beej was pretty short. ---
**Author:** ![Stoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stoid/32/272_2.png) [@Stoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stoid)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2013, 9:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/umm-gosh-no-i-dont-actually-want-to-suck-your-cock-but-thanks-for-asking/663247/63 "2013-07-14T21:33:06Z")
> [@lorene](#): > > I dunno; I kind of thought the same thing. You’d already given him money and a controlled substance. It probably seemed to him that the leap from those to a beej was pretty short. That he has a prescription for because he’s being treated for generalized anxiety disorder. He is also amazingly poor, having to borrow $2 for laundry. Even though generic xanax is cheap, it’s not free. He ran out and couldn’t get a refill for a few days because of money issues. Really not a big deal. You guys are kinda cute. I’m 55, most of the people I know in my age group have a variety of controlled prescription drugs around and none of them think twice about giving a friend a couple of xanax, klonipin, vicodin, even adderall. And none of them are drug abusers. Like I said, kinda sheltered. ---
**Author:** ![simply\_cats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8c91f0/32.png) [@simply\_cats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/simply_cats)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2013, 9:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/umm-gosh-no-i-dont-actually-want-to-suck-your-cock-but-thanks-for-asking/663247/64 "2013-07-14T21:46:53Z")
> [@DMark](#): > > Snakes In A Drain! > > Wow, a perfect title for a porn film! This is perfect. ---
**Author:** ![Sarahfeena](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sarahfeena/32/519_2.png) [@Sarahfeena](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sarahfeena)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2013, 10:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/umm-gosh-no-i-dont-actually-want-to-suck-your-cock-but-thanks-for-asking/663247/65 "2013-07-14T22:17:22Z")
> [@Stoid](#): > > That he has a prescription for because he’s being treated for generalized anxiety disorder. He is also amazingly poor, having to borrow $2 for laundry. Even though generic xanax is cheap, it’s not free. He ran out and couldn’t get a refill for a few days because of money issues. Really not a big deal. > > You guys are kinda cute. I’m 55, most of the people I know in my age group have a variety of controlled prescription drugs around and none of them think twice about giving a friend a couple of xanax, klonipin, vicodin, even adderall. And none of them are drug abusers. > > Like I said, kinda sheltered. Did you see his prescription? I’d say that you nailed the explanation yourself…you already “lent” him everything he asked for…I’m sure with no questions asked…and demonstrated no normal personal boundaries, so why not at least ask? ---
**Author:** ![Stoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stoid/32/272_2.png) [@Stoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stoid)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2013, 11:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/umm-gosh-no-i-dont-actually-want-to-suck-your-cock-but-thanks-for-asking/663247/66 "2013-07-14T23:18:10Z")
> [@Sarahfeena](#): > > Did you see his prescription? > I’d say that you nailed the explanation yourself…you already “lent” him everything he asked for…I’m sure with no questions asked…and demonstrated no normal personal boundaries, so why not at least ask? Indeed. I answered him right then by just asking where his girlfriend was and why me, and I have heard nothing. I don’t imagine I shall, I’m sure that having failed to say “Absolutely! I was hoping you’d ask!” he wishes he had never said anything and will do his best to avoid me altogether from here on out. ---
**Author:** ![GrandWino](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grandwino/32/67_2.png) [@GrandWino](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrandWino)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2013, 11:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/umm-gosh-no-i-dont-actually-want-to-suck-your-cock-but-thanks-for-asking/663247/67 "2013-07-14T23:54:24Z")
> [@Stoid](#): > > Indeed. > > I answered him right then by just asking where his girlfriend was and why me, and I have heard nothing. I don’t imagine I shall, I’m sure that having failed to say “Absolutely! I was hoping you’d ask!” he wishes he had never said anything and will do his best to avoid me altogether from here on out. Or until he needs free drugs again. ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2013, 11:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/umm-gosh-no-i-dont-actually-want-to-suck-your-cock-but-thanks-for-asking/663247/68 "2013-07-15T11:42:52Z")
> [@lorene](#): > > the leap from those to a beej was pretty short. I for one am glad poor **Stoid** will never know just how short. 😕 ---
**Author:** ![handsomeharry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e9c0ed/32.png) [@handsomeharry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handsomeharry)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2013, 1:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/umm-gosh-no-i-dont-actually-want-to-suck-your-cock-but-thanks-for-asking/663247/69 "2013-07-15T13:37:22Z")
Is it a felony for you to dispense prescription drugs? You ‘lend’ money to a person who doesn’t do the job for which you paid him, give him drugs, and hugs, a woman listening to his tedious, perhaps made-up tales of pathos…What was he to think? He has all of the benefits of a hippie commune, except for the sex, so, he was just trying to complete the circle. ---
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2013, 1:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/umm-gosh-no-i-dont-actually-want-to-suck-your-cock-but-thanks-for-asking/663247/70 "2013-07-15T13:40:20Z")
> [@handsomeharry](#): > > Is it a felony for you to dispense prescription drugs? Who cares, man? Didn’t you hear? _Everyone she knows_ does it. Stop being such an old fuddy-duddy. _Felony_’s just another word for nothing left to lose. ---
**Author:** ![handsomeharry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e9c0ed/32.png) [@handsomeharry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handsomeharry)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2013, 1:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/umm-gosh-no-i-dont-actually-want-to-suck-your-cock-but-thanks-for-asking/663247/71 "2013-07-15T13:45:26Z")
> [@Stoid](#): > > You lead a very sheltered life, don’t you Bob? Uh, this from the woman who thought that mr. penis was embarrassed about openness about his poverty? ---
**Author:** ![handsomeharry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e9c0ed/32.png) [@handsomeharry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handsomeharry)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2013, 1:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/umm-gosh-no-i-dont-actually-want-to-suck-your-cock-but-thanks-for-asking/663247/72 "2013-07-15T13:54:46Z")
> [@KneadToKnow](#): > > Who cares, man? Didn’t you hear? _Everyone she knows_ does it. > > Stop being such an old fuddy-duddy. _Felony_’s just another word for nothing left to lose. OK, OK, I admit it…I’m a _ **square** _! ---
**Author:** ![Stoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stoid/32/272_2.png) [@Stoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stoid)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2013, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/umm-gosh-no-i-dont-actually-want-to-suck-your-cock-but-thanks-for-asking/663247/73 "2013-08-30T21:16:23Z")
\*\*UPDATE! \*\* I have a new roommate, a guy. Good friend, platonic. Call him AJ. We were in his car a few weeks ago when I spotted (let’s call him “Tex”) working on a neighbor’s lawn. I had been trying to get Tex to give me a price on cleaning up my back yard for awhile before the titular incident. My assumption was that Tex was probably feeling ridiculously mortified and would melt into a puddle of anxious embarrassment if he had to deal with me alone, but with my roommate providing a buffer zone so we could completely ignore the otherwise guaranteed awkward weirditude, it would be the ideal moment to speak to him. So we pulled up and I called out “Hey Tex, how are you?” when he looked up, I immediately said: “Tex, this is my friend and my new roommate, AJ. AJ, this is Tex.” They greeted. Then I said: “Tex, I’ve been trying to talk to you for a few months now about clearing out the back yard. Can you tell me how much you’d charge?” And he said he’d have to come by and take a look. I told him to drop by any time. Then we left. I made sure to be as light, as relaxed, as normal as I could possibly be, acting as though he had never asked if I were interested in sucking his cock. Two days later, while I was asleep, the doorbell rang. I threw on a grandma nightie that a friend gave me recently, (looks like something you’d see in _Little House on The Prairie_, complete with ruffle at the wrist and hem, which is down to the floor). I cracked the door. “Hi, Tex…what’s up?” (I’m mash-faced and squinty, I was in deep sleep 60 seconds earlier. My hair, which I’ve let grow in very gray, is mess. In other words, I look every inch of my age and then some.) “I came by to look at the yard…” “Oh, okay… meet me around back…” So he went around to the back via the gate and I went to the back via my house. (Nothing has been done in the yard for a very, very long time, the growth and debris is very much out of control…huge job) He looked around, asked a couple of questions, then told me it would take about three days and he’d charge me $75. (Not per day, for the whole job. This kind of ludicrously cheap fee is exactly what I was expecting, and exactly why pursuing him to do this work in spite of The Incident is of interest to me. Funds in my world are very tight. Before the incident I would have felt badly about him doing so much work for so little, and I probably would have added $50 when he did it, but I decided that in light of The Incident, I’d pay exactly what he asked and be OK about it.) I told him that was a great price, I’d definitely want him to do it, and I’d call when I was ready to have it done. The whole interaction, from opening the front door to saying good bye and heading back inside, was five minutes. Maybe seven. No looks, no awkward silences, brisk discussion of business only, with a moment for admiring my pit bull puppy. He left through the gate and I went back in the house. That was about two weeks ago. This email arrived this morning: - > [@](#): > > Subject: hello… > > i would still be interested in doing the yard and also a P.S. when you had me come over the other day i couldnt help but to see how those nice curves were pertruding i still wouldnt mind boning you NSA for sure no harm intended - :smack: Oh shit, you had to go there again? I really want my yard cleaned up cheaply and I’d really like it if it wasn’t completely weird and uncomfortable to have you at my house for three days. But at least he framed it as a slightly more mutual experience, rather than a servicing, and paid me a compliment in the bargain. Strange and icky, yeah, but I’m still a woman, and I used to be a super-sexual one, so it’s nice to know a young man, even a young man who can’t spell or capitalize properly, can still see _something_ fuckable in me, for whatever reason. ---
**Author:** ![Procrustus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/procrustus/32/2994_2.png) [@Procrustus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Procrustus)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2013, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/umm-gosh-no-i-dont-actually-want-to-suck-your-cock-but-thanks-for-asking/663247/74 "2013-08-30T21:25:59Z")
I have nothing to say. Except thanks for sharing. This one keeps getting better. Plus, “NSA” is a pretty good deal. ---
**Author:** ![Spiderman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spiderman/32/230_2.png) [@Spiderman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spiderman)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2013, 10:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/umm-gosh-no-i-dont-actually-want-to-suck-your-cock-but-thanks-for-asking/663247/75 "2013-08-30T22:49:29Z")
You do realize you’re now obligated, **OBLIGATED** to have appropriate music cued up & waiting for you to press \ when he finishes the job & comes to your door for payment. _♪ Boom-chicka-wow-wow ♫_😃 Good luck, & let us know how it turns out. ---
**Author:** ![YogSothoth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/8edcca/32.png) [@YogSothoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/YogSothoth)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2013, 11:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/umm-gosh-no-i-dont-actually-want-to-suck-your-cock-but-thanks-for-asking/663247/76 "2013-08-30T23:52:20Z")
Go for it!! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![DigitalC](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ebca7d/32.png) [@DigitalC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DigitalC)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2013, 12:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/umm-gosh-no-i-dont-actually-want-to-suck-your-cock-but-thanks-for-asking/663247/77 "2013-08-31T00:02:53Z")
If you weren’t pertruding all over the place maybe he wouldn’t be hitting on you. ---
**Author:** ![Mosier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ea924/32.png) [@Mosier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mosier)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2013, 12:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/umm-gosh-no-i-dont-actually-want-to-suck-your-cock-but-thanks-for-asking/663247/78 "2013-08-31T00:34:00Z")
If you don’t nail this guy, we’re all going to be very disappointed in you. ---
**Author:** ![clairobscur](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/839c29/32.png) [@clairobscur](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/clairobscur)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2013, 12:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/umm-gosh-no-i-dont-actually-want-to-suck-your-cock-but-thanks-for-asking/663247/79 "2013-08-31T00:36:09Z")
> [@Sarahfeena](#): > > Did you see his prescription? > I’d say that you nailed the explanation yourself…you already “lent” him everything he asked for…I’m sure with no questions asked…and demonstrated no normal personal boundaries, so why not at least ask? If you can’t see much difference between asking for/offering a $2 and a xanax pill and asking for/offering oral sex, I suspect you’re the weird one, here. ---
**Author:** ![Bullitt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bullitt/32/5725_2.png) [@Bullitt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bullitt)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2013, 3:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/umm-gosh-no-i-dont-actually-want-to-suck-your-cock-but-thanks-for-asking/663247/80 "2013-08-31T03:42:29Z")
I’m picturing Geena Davis and Brad Pitt in Thelma and Louise… [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/umm-gosh-no-i-dont-actually-want-to-suck-your-cock-but-thanks-for-asking/663247.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/umm-gosh-no-i-dont-actually-want-to-suck-your-cock-but-thanks-for-asking/663247.md?page=5)