# Umm...gosh...no, I don't actually want to suck your cock, but...thanks for asking? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 11, 2013, 8:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/umm-gosh-no-i-dont-actually-want-to-suck-your-cock-but-thanks-for-asking/663247 "2013-07-11T20:03:24Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![aceplace57](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aceplace57/32/3500_2.png) [@aceplace57](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aceplace57)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2013, 4:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/umm-gosh-no-i-dont-actually-want-to-suck-your-cock-but-thanks-for-asking/663247/81 "2013-08-31T04:30:28Z")
The guy is very attracted to Stoid and she’s flattered by the attention. Maybe consider getting together for a pizza and see how it goes? Make it clear that it’s just for pizza and nothing else. 😉 If he’ll slow down and talk then maybe a friendship or even a relationship can come out of it. ---
**Author:** ![madsircool](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/madsircool/32/3432_2.png) [@madsircool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/madsircool)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2013, 8:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/umm-gosh-no-i-dont-actually-want-to-suck-your-cock-but-thanks-for-asking/663247/82 "2013-08-31T08:33:56Z")
Any other young guys you know interested in mowing the gray lawn? ---
**Author:** ![antonio107](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/7ea924/32.png) [@antonio107](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/antonio107)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2013, 2:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/umm-gosh-no-i-dont-actually-want-to-suck-your-cock-but-thanks-for-asking/663247/83 "2013-08-31T14:10:22Z")
> [@Stoid](#): > > \*\*UPDATE! > \*\* > > I have a new roommate, a guy. Good friend, platonic. Call him AJ. We were in his car a few weeks ago when I spotted (let’s call him “Tex”) working on a neighbor’s lawn. I had been trying to get Tex to give me a price on **cleaning up my back yard for awhile** before the titular incident. I see what you did there. ---
**Author:** ![elninost0rm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ed655f/32.png) [@elninost0rm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elninost0rm)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2013, 3:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/umm-gosh-no-i-dont-actually-want-to-suck-your-cock-but-thanks-for-asking/663247/84 "2013-08-31T15:16:09Z")
What amuses me is that you’ll endure these unbelievably inappropriate advances all for the sake of saving a few bucks on some yardwork. Hilarious. ---
**Author:** ![Bullitt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bullitt/32/5725_2.png) [@Bullitt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bullitt)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2013, 3:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/umm-gosh-no-i-dont-actually-want-to-suck-your-cock-but-thanks-for-asking/663247/85 "2013-08-31T15:21:16Z")
> [@elninost0rm](#): > > What amuses me is that you’ll endure these unbelievably inappropriate advances all for the sake of saving a few bucks on some yardwork. > > Hilarious. Seems to me Stoid wants someone to tell her it’s okay to reply with, “First, what’s in it for me? What do I get?” ---
**Author:** ![Girlundone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/919ad9/32.png) [@Girlundone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Girlundone)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2013, 3:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/umm-gosh-no-i-dont-actually-want-to-suck-your-cock-but-thanks-for-asking/663247/86 "2013-08-31T15:36:35Z")
Lots of people look fuckable after you eat a couple of zanny bars. ---
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2013, 3:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/umm-gosh-no-i-dont-actually-want-to-suck-your-cock-but-thanks-for-asking/663247/87 "2013-08-31T15:53:14Z")
> [@antonio107](#): > > I see what you did there. I am _so_ glad I’m not the only one who thought that. ---
**Author:** ![Stoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stoid/32/272_2.png) [@Stoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stoid)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2013, 7:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/umm-gosh-no-i-dont-actually-want-to-suck-your-cock-but-thanks-for-asking/663247/88 "2013-08-31T19:41:50Z")
> [@elninost0rm](#): > > What amuses me is that you’ll endure these unbelievably inappropriate advances all for the sake of saving a few bucks on some yardwork. > > Hilarious. “endure”? How is it “enduring”? You make a couple of emails sound like attempted rape. ---
**Author:** ![Stoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stoid/32/272_2.png) [@Stoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stoid)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2013, 12:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/umm-gosh-no-i-dont-actually-want-to-suck-your-cock-but-thanks-for-asking/663247/89 "2013-09-01T00:53:36Z")
> [@aceplace57](#): > > The guy is very attracted to Stoid and she’s flattered by the attention. Maybe consider getting together for a pizza and see how it goes? Make it clear that it’s just for pizza and nothing else. 😉 > > If he’ll slow down and talk then maybe a friendship or even a relationship can come out of it. I don’t really think he’s very attracted to me at all. I think it’s more of a “she’ll do” kind of thing. He’s very shy (no, really…which is why this is so bizarre) and insecure, and he feels comfortable with me. Between having to make a lot more effort to score with a totally unknown younger, prettier woman, and trying to do so with comfy me in spite of my lack in the looks department, he’s more concerned with his anxiety issues. And I’m not interested in a relationship. I have no desire to have pizza with him. I have no problem with casual sex as a concept, not a bit. I’ve been incredibly slutty at various times in my life… but with _this_ particular guy, _this_ particular way… all too strange. He kinda reminds me of Travis Bickle taking Cybill Shepherd out…to a porno. Totally unaware of how unappealing it is…cluelessness in the extreme. (But nothing else Bickle-like, just that) > [@echo7tango](#): > > Seems to me Stoid wants someone to tell her it’s okay to reply with, “First, what’s in it for me? What do I get?” For the record, I never want or need anyone to tell me it’s okay to do anything at all. Ever. I am very pleased when people I care about approve of my actions and choices, but I rarely seek anyone’s approval for anything. On the infrequent occasions when I do, it’s from people I know and respect and care about, not an internet forum community. No disrespect meant, of course, but it’s closely related to the reason I don’t really get embarrassed by doing things in public that other people would probably find embarrassing: why should I care about the opinions of people I don’t know? Perhaps the people pointing and laughing at me are mean, stupid, cruel, thoughtless, rude folks who kick puppies…and why would the opinions of such people matter? No one’s opinion counts for much with me unless I know who they are and how they think and I feel confident that they have a world view that I respect to begin with. > [@madsircool](#): > > Any other young guys you know interested in mowing the gray lawn? This question confuses me… ---
**Author:** ![MyMack\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9fc29f/32.png) [@MyMack\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MyMack_1)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2013, 2:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/umm-gosh-no-i-dont-actually-want-to-suck-your-cock-but-thanks-for-asking/663247/90 "2013-09-01T02:29:10Z")
If this guy is so poor he can’t do laundry, how do you know he isn’t just selling the Xanax? What do his anxiety problems have to do with this? Is the point that he’s _socially_ anxious and that’s part of your surprise he is asking for sex? Or just anxious in general? I know I’ll regret saying anything. ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2013, 2:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/umm-gosh-no-i-dont-actually-want-to-suck-your-cock-but-thanks-for-asking/663247/91 "2013-09-01T02:32:56Z")
> [@Stoid](#): > > This question confuses me… How about “trimming the airstrip”? :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![Bullitt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bullitt/32/5725_2.png) [@Bullitt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bullitt)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2013, 4:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/umm-gosh-no-i-dont-actually-want-to-suck-your-cock-but-thanks-for-asking/663247/92 "2013-09-01T04:10:33Z")
> [@Stoid](#): > > For the record, I never want or need anyone to tell me it’s okay to do anything at all. Ever. I am very pleased when people I care about approve of my actions and choices, but I rarely seek anyone’s approval for anything. On the infrequent occasions when I do, it’s from people I know and respect and care about, not an internet forum community. > > No disrespect meant, of course, but it’s closely related to the reason I don’t really get embarrassed by doing things in public that other people would probably find embarrassing: why should I care about the opinions of people I don’t know? Perhaps the people pointing and laughing at me are mean, stupid, cruel, thoughtless, rude folks who kick puppies…and why would the opinions of such people matter? No one’s opinion counts for much with me unless I know who they are and how they think and I feel confident that they have a world view that I respect to beginwith. Yeah, okay, I hear you, I understand. I guess I’m a bit naive because I’m surprised that Tex would be so bold, brash and vulgar. ---
**Author:** ![handsomeharry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e9c0ed/32.png) [@handsomeharry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handsomeharry)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2013, 6:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/umm-gosh-no-i-dont-actually-want-to-suck-your-cock-but-thanks-for-asking/663247/93 "2013-09-01T06:44:23Z")
> [@elninost0rm](#): > > What amuses me is that you’ll endure these unbelievably inappropriate advances all for the sake of saving a few bucks on some yardwork. > > Hilarious. What amuses me is that Stoid actually thinks that the yardwork will get done! ---
**Author:** ![Sarahfeena](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sarahfeena/32/519_2.png) [@Sarahfeena](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sarahfeena)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2013, 5:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/umm-gosh-no-i-dont-actually-want-to-suck-your-cock-but-thanks-for-asking/663247/94 "2013-09-04T17:14:39Z")
> [@clairobscur](#): > > If you can’t see much difference between asking for/offering a $2 and a xanax pill and asking for/offering oral sex, I suspect you’re the weird one, here. The Xanax was the least of it. The whole relationship sounded inappropriate in terms of normal social boundaries. I think the poor guy’s confused. ---
**Author:** ![Stoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stoid/32/272_2.png) [@Stoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stoid)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2013, 6:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/umm-gosh-no-i-dont-actually-want-to-suck-your-cock-but-thanks-for-asking/663247/95 "2013-09-04T18:43:58Z")
> [@Sarahfeena](#): > > The Xanax was the least of it. The whole relationship sounded inappropriate in terms of normal social boundaries. I think the poor guy’s confused. Please elaborate. What are the normal social boundaries you have in mind? ---
**Author:** ![Living\_Well\_Is\_Best\_Revenge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/6bbea6/32.png) [@Living\_Well\_Is\_Best\_Revenge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Living_Well_Is_Best_Revenge)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2013, 8:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/umm-gosh-no-i-dont-actually-want-to-suck-your-cock-but-thanks-for-asking/663247/96 "2013-09-04T20:30:09Z")
> [@Stoid](#): > > Please elaborate. What are the normal social boundaries you have in mind? Stoid, it’s apparent by this thread and many, many before it, it’s way too late to learn normal social boundaries. ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2013, 8:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/umm-gosh-no-i-dont-actually-want-to-suck-your-cock-but-thanks-for-asking/663247/97 "2013-09-04T20:40:28Z")
**Stoid** , you are a good poster & help make this Board fun. That said, please don’t let this guy on your property unsupervised again? He has no boundries & wants to hump you like a Chinese Zoo trying to pass off a horse as a camel. None of us want to read about this on CNN. Please be safe. ---
**Author:** ![Stoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stoid/32/272_2.png) [@Stoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stoid)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2013, 10:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/umm-gosh-no-i-dont-actually-want-to-suck-your-cock-but-thanks-for-asking/663247/98 "2013-09-04T22:34:55Z")
> [@Count\_Blucher](#): > > **Stoid** , you are a good poster & help make this Board fun. That said, please don’t let this guy on your property unsupervised again? He has no boundries & wants to hump you like a Chinese Zoo trying to pass off a horse as a camel. > > None of us want to read about this on CNN. Please be safe. You’re sweet. No worries, he’s harmless. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2013, 10:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/umm-gosh-no-i-dont-actually-want-to-suck-your-cock-but-thanks-for-asking/663247/99 "2013-09-04T22:39:55Z")
> [@Count\_Blucher](#): > > **Stoid** , you are a good poster & help make this Board fun. That said, please don’t let this guy on your property unsupervised again? He has no boundries & wants to hump you like a Chinese Zoo trying to pass off a horse as a camel. > > None of us want to read about this on CNN. Please be safe. Or more recently, a Chinese zoo trying to pass a dog off as a lion. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Sarahfeena](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sarahfeena/32/519_2.png) [@Sarahfeena](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sarahfeena)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2013, 4:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/umm-gosh-no-i-dont-actually-want-to-suck-your-cock-but-thanks-for-asking/663247/100 "2013-09-05T16:28:29Z")
> [@Stoid](#): > > Please elaborate. What are the normal social boundaries you have in mind? Well…the kind where people typically don’t have “pretty personal” conversations about babies dying, family acrimony, prescription meds that might help them with mental health issues, etc. with people they barely know. Most people, when they’ve engaged a nodding-acquaintance neighbor over to do some handyman-type work talk about, you know, the weather or general chitchat about the neighborhood, but don’t go down the road of discussing family drama that ends up leading to tears and hugs. This is not a judgment of your personal style as much as it is a potential explanation as to why he’s feeling particularly close to you out of proportion to what YOU think the relationship is. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/umm-gosh-no-i-dont-actually-want-to-suck-your-cock-but-thanks-for-asking/663247.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/umm-gosh-no-i-dont-actually-want-to-suck-your-cock-but-thanks-for-asking/663247.md?page=6)