# Umm...gosh...no, I don't actually want to suck your cock, but...thanks for asking? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 11, 2013, 8:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/umm-gosh-no-i-dont-actually-want-to-suck-your-cock-but-thanks-for-asking/663247 "2013-07-11T20:03:24Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 7
**Author:** ![Gagundathar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a183cd/32.png) [@Gagundathar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gagundathar)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2013, 11:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/umm-gosh-no-i-dont-actually-want-to-suck-your-cock-but-thanks-for-asking/663247/121 "2013-09-05T23:50:49Z")
Best. Thread. Ever. **Stoid** , you sound like some of my closest and dearest friends. It is good to know that you have male roommates who (one assumes) will defend you if you need defending, but it is heartening to know that non-judgemental folks like you still exist. Please keep us informed on the further developments in this saga. ---
**Author:** ![Stoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stoid/32/272_2.png) [@Stoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stoid)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2013, 12:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/umm-gosh-no-i-dont-actually-want-to-suck-your-cock-but-thanks-for-asking/663247/122 "2013-09-06T00:15:03Z")
> [@Sarahfeena](#): > > :eek: You brought human beings tranquilizer syringes that were prescribed for a DOG?! Oh. my. lord. What exactly are you so freaked out about? It’s not as though there’s special “dogs-only” Valium that will kill humans or something. It’s exactly the same drug as people take. > [@Lemur866](#): > > Stoid, don’t ever change. As if you would. You’re prefect just the way you are. Hmmm…me, a military commander? 😃 > [@Lemur866](#): > > No, the best part is that these syringes are meant to be administered anally. Yeah, of course they’re valium for dogs. To be shoved up your grieving friends’ assholes. To, you know, comfort them. Ever heard of wine enemas? Very effective, I’ve heard. Never tried it myself. > [@Gagundathar](#): > > Best. Thread. Ever. > > **Stoid** , you sound like some of my closest and dearest friends. > It is good to know that you have male roommates who (one assumes) will defend you if you need defending, but it is heartening to know that non-judgemental folks like you still exist. > > Please keep us informed on the further developments in this saga. Sure will, although I sincerely hope there aren’t any. ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2013, 12:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/umm-gosh-no-i-dont-actually-want-to-suck-your-cock-but-thanks-for-asking/663247/123 "2013-09-06T00:37:07Z")
> [@Stoid](#): > > You’re sweet. No worries, he’s harmless. Okay, if you’re _absolutely sure_ you’re right about this… then I’m 100% convinced he’s a serial rapist-murderer-cannibal and you’re going to end up the guest of honor at a long pork BBQ. Might wanna start powdering with Adolph’s. ---
**Author:** ![DiosaBellissima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a8b319/32.png) [@DiosaBellissima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DiosaBellissima)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2013, 5:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/umm-gosh-no-i-dont-actually-want-to-suck-your-cock-but-thanks-for-asking/663247/124 "2013-09-06T05:31:20Z")
> [@Stoid](#): > > Ever heard of wine enemas? Very effective, I’ve heard. Never tried it myself. I’ve seen some awful stuff in my life. I’ve been beside myself, screaming and hysterical, unable to catch my breath, full on crazy pants emotional meltdown. I have _never_ for even a moment considered borrowing my friend’s dog’s tranqs and _shoving them up my assshole._ > [@Stoid](#): > > Totally normal in my world, always has been. Please realize it isn’t for the rest of us. ---
**Author:** ![Stoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stoid/32/272_2.png) [@Stoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stoid)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2013, 8:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/umm-gosh-no-i-dont-actually-want-to-suck-your-cock-but-thanks-for-asking/663247/125 "2013-09-06T08:22:39Z")
> [@DiosaBellissima](#): > > I’ve seen some awful stuff in my life. I’ve been beside myself, screaming and hysterical, unable to catch my breath, full on crazy pants emotional meltdown. > > I have _never_ for even a moment considered borrowing my friend’s dog’s tranqs and _shoving them up my assshole._ Well I should hope you wouldn’t “borrow” them… how could you give them back after you’d used them?:eek: I realize it’s fun to find things to freak out about, but suppositories? Really? :dubious: All kinds of medications are available as both liquid and solid suppositories, including acetaminophen, thorazine, antibiotics, malaria treatments, etc. All _shoved up the asshole_! Wheeeeeeee… ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2013, 9:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/umm-gosh-no-i-dont-actually-want-to-suck-your-cock-but-thanks-for-asking/663247/126 "2013-09-06T09:18:03Z")
> [@Stoid](#): > > What exactly are you so freaked out about? It’s not as though there’s special “dogs-only” Valium that will kill humans or something. It’s exactly the same drug as people take. Strange. There’s a poster in my vet’s office warning not to give human meds to animals, though admittedly they are silent on the reverse. Still, what would a veterinarian know about anything? ---
**Author:** ![Stoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stoid/32/272_2.png) [@Stoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stoid)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2013, 9:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/umm-gosh-no-i-dont-actually-want-to-suck-your-cock-but-thanks-for-asking/663247/127 "2013-09-06T09:27:05Z")
> [@Malacandra](#): > > Strange. There’s a poster in my vet’s office warning not to give human meds to animals, though admittedly they are silent on the reverse. Still, what would a veterinarian know about anything? They are trying to stop people from assuming that anything a human can take safely a dog or cat can as well, when that isn’t the case. Ibuprofen is poisonous to dogs. Hell, so is chocolate! ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2013, 11:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/umm-gosh-no-i-dont-actually-want-to-suck-your-cock-but-thanks-for-asking/663247/128 "2013-09-06T11:05:23Z")
Christ, suck the guy’s cock already and let’s move on. ---
**Author:** ![Cheesesteak](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cheesesteak/32/3694_2.png) [@Cheesesteak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cheesesteak)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2013, 11:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/umm-gosh-no-i-dont-actually-want-to-suck-your-cock-but-thanks-for-asking/663247/129 "2013-09-06T11:36:34Z")
> [@DiosaBellissima](#): > > I have _never_ for even a moment considered borrowing my friend’s dog’s tranqs and _shoving them up my assshole._ You just don’t go to the right parties. Doc, these tranquilizers aren’t working at all. Are you using them correctly? Of course I am, what do you think I’ve been doing, shoving them up my ass? ---
**Author:** ![Living\_Well\_Is\_Best\_Revenge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/6bbea6/32.png) [@Living\_Well\_Is\_Best\_Revenge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Living_Well_Is_Best_Revenge)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2013, 1:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/umm-gosh-no-i-dont-actually-want-to-suck-your-cock-but-thanks-for-asking/663247/130 "2013-09-06T13:19:24Z")
> [@Stoid](#): > > Well I should hope you wouldn’t “borrow” them… how could you give them back after you’d used them?:eek: > > I realize it’s fun to find things to freak out about, but suppositories? Really? :dubious: All kinds of medications are available as both liquid and solid suppositories, including acetaminophen, thorazine, antibiotics, malaria treatments, etc. All _shoved up the asshole_! Wheeeeeeee… :eek: You were serious!? I thought you were joking. You are more insane than I thought. ---
**Author:** ![Kenm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/bc79bd/32.png) [@Kenm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kenm)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2013, 1:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/umm-gosh-no-i-dont-actually-want-to-suck-your-cock-but-thanks-for-asking/663247/131 "2013-09-06T13:50:08Z")
> [@Living\_Well\_Is\_Best\_Revenge](#): > > :eek: You were serious!? I thought you were joking. You are more insane than I thought. You’re not living as well as you thought. Wheeeeeeeee. ---
**Author:** ![YogSothoth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/8edcca/32.png) [@YogSothoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/YogSothoth)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2013, 5:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/umm-gosh-no-i-dont-actually-want-to-suck-your-cock-but-thanks-for-asking/663247/132 "2013-09-06T17:13:00Z")
I’m completely disappointed in the lack of cocksucking in this thread. ---
**Author:** ![DataX](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@DataX](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DataX)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2013, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/umm-gosh-no-i-dont-actually-want-to-suck-your-cock-but-thanks-for-asking/663247/133 "2013-09-06T17:56:01Z")
> [@Stoid](#): > > What exactly are you so freaked out about? It’s not as though there’s special “dogs-only” Valium that will kill humans or something. It’s exactly the same drug as people take. Maybe they are thinking of woofies. To people that use drugs regularly - that was being kind. And the police knew it which is why they looked the other way. It isn’t like drug users are looking for Lab Reports with their drugs. If they are willing to abuse benzos - it doesn’t matter where they come from. As long as the syringe hasn’t been used already 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2013, 6:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/umm-gosh-no-i-dont-actually-want-to-suck-your-cock-but-thanks-for-asking/663247/134 "2013-09-06T18:03:39Z")
> [@YogSosoth](#): > > I’m completely disappointed in the lack of cocksucking in this thread. Every time I say that on a lesbian message board I get banned. ---
**Author:** ![DataX](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@DataX](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DataX)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2013, 6:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/umm-gosh-no-i-dont-actually-want-to-suck-your-cock-but-thanks-for-asking/663247/135 "2013-09-06T18:04:52Z")
> [@Malacandra](#): > > Strange. There’s a poster in my vet’s office warning not to give human meds to animals, though admittedly they are silent on the reverse. Still, what would a veterinarian know about anything? This is cause it is a good rule of thumb and people shouldn’t be doing this anyway. The drugs for dogs are not special. I doubt that the diazepam you get for dogs is any less safe than say - counterfeit Valium you can get from India. It’s probably even made in the same factories. You’d have to be sure about the doses, but it isn’t like drug a users aren’t willing to take risks. ---
**Author:** ![Stoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stoid/32/272_2.png) [@Stoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stoid)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2013, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/umm-gosh-no-i-dont-actually-want-to-suck-your-cock-but-thanks-for-asking/663247/136 "2013-09-06T20:15:15Z")
> [@DataX](#): > > It isn’t like drug users are looking for Lab Reports with their drugs. If they are willing to _ **abuse** _ benzos - it doesn’t matter where they come from. As long as the syringe hasn’t been used already 🙂 Now, now, this is the Straight Dope, where we fight ignorance, we don’t perpetuate it. > [@](#): > > The definitions and criteria for classification are from the National Institute of Medicine and from the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, 4th Edition (DSM IV, American Psychiatric Association, Washington, DC): > > National Institute of Medicine: > > Use = Taking of alcohol or drug > > **Abuse = Any harmful use of alcohol or drugs** > > Dependence = Addiction > > DSM IV > > Substance **Abuse** = A maladaptive pattern of substance use leading to clinically significant impairment or distress, as manifested by one or more of the following, within a 12-month period: > > a. recurrent substance use resulting in a failure to fulfill major role obligations at work, school, or home > > b. recurrent substance use in situations in which it is physically hazardous > > c. recurrent substance-related legal problems > > d. continued substance use despite having persistent or recurrent social or interpersonal problems caused or exacerbated by the effects of the substance > > e. the symptoms have never met the criteria for substance dependence for this class of substance There is no drug abuse going on here. > [@DataX](#): > > This is cause it is a good rule of thumb and people shouldn’t be doing this anyway. > > The drugs for dogs are not special. I doubt that the diazepam you get for dogs is any less safe than say - counterfeit Valium you can get from India. It’s probably even made in the same factories. You’d have to be sure about the doses, but it isn’t like drug a users aren’t willing to take risks. And your “information” is coming from where, exactly? [Drugs prescribed and dispensed by licensed veterinarians are regulated by the FDA, exactly as drugs for people are.](http://www.petplace.com/drug-library/diazepam-valium/page1.aspx) And as you can see from the link, the use of diazepam to treat epilepsy in dogs is “extra-label”: so there isn’t any such thing as diazepam formulated for canines at all- all diazepam prescribed to dogs is created for humans. And on that note… > [@Living\_Well\_Is\_Best\_Revenge](#): > > :eek: You were serious!? I thought you were joking. You are more insane than I thought. [What](http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/druginfo/meds/a605033.html) exactly is it you thought I was [joking](http://www.drugs.com/pro/diazepam-rectal-gel.html) [about](http://www.epinet.org.au/downloads/File/Epilepsy%20Support%20Package/Use%20of%20Rectal%20Valium.pdf)? And what is your definition of “insane”? Allow me to fight some more ignorance…from the links just given: > [@](#): > > The Use of Rectal Valium > for the Emergency Management of Seizures > What is valium (diazepam)? > Valium is also known as diazepam and belongs to the benzodiazepine group of medications. Its main use is > as a sedative, muscle relaxant and as an antiepileptic medication. Valium (diazepam) is available in several > forms: as a tablet, in liquid for intravenous or intramuscular administration and **in a preparation suitable to > administer rectally. Rectal administration can be an effective way to deliver the valium (diazepam) during > a seizure,** however, another drug called midazolam has become the preferred prescribed emergency > medication due to its ease of administration and rapid action. > [@](#): > > Diazepam Rectal GelPronunciation > Generic Name: diazepam > Dosage Form: rectal gel > > Diazepam Rectal Gel is well absorbed following rectal administration, reaching peak plasma concentrations in 1.5 hours. The absolute bioavailability of Diazepam Rectal Gel relative to Valium® injectable is 90%. The volume of distribution of Diazepam Rectal Gel is calculated to be approximately 1 L/kg. The mean elimination half-life of diazepam and desmethyldiazepam following administration of a 15 mg dose of Diazepam Rectal Gel was found to be about 46 hours (CV=43%) and 71 hours (CV=37%), respectively. ---
**Author:** ![GrandWino](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grandwino/32/67_2.png) [@GrandWino](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrandWino)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2013, 8:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/umm-gosh-no-i-dont-actually-want-to-suck-your-cock-but-thanks-for-asking/663247/137 "2013-09-06T20:26:52Z")
Jesus… It might be time to shove some of that Valium up your butt. ---
**Author:** ![Living\_Well\_Is\_Best\_Revenge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/6bbea6/32.png) [@Living\_Well\_Is\_Best\_Revenge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Living_Well_Is_Best_Revenge)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2013, 8:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/umm-gosh-no-i-dont-actually-want-to-suck-your-cock-but-thanks-for-asking/663247/138 "2013-09-06T20:36:30Z")
My definition of insane is any thread started by Stoid. ---
**Author:** ![voltaire](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voltaire/32/313_2.png) [@voltaire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/voltaire)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2013, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/umm-gosh-no-i-dont-actually-want-to-suck-your-cock-but-thanks-for-asking/663247/139 "2013-09-06T20:38:17Z")
Rectal Valium… band name! ---
**Author:** ![DiosaBellissima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a8b319/32.png) [@DiosaBellissima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DiosaBellissima)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2013, 9:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/umm-gosh-no-i-dont-actually-want-to-suck-your-cock-but-thanks-for-asking/663247/140 "2013-09-06T21:10:09Z")
And the overly long, underlined and bolded quotes begin. Oh, dear. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/umm-gosh-no-i-dont-actually-want-to-suck-your-cock-but-thanks-for-asking/663247.md?page=6) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/umm-gosh-no-i-dont-actually-want-to-suck-your-cock-but-thanks-for-asking/663247.md?page=8)