# Umm...gosh...no, I don't actually want to suck your cock, but...thanks for asking? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 11, 2013, 8:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/umm-gosh-no-i-dont-actually-want-to-suck-your-cock-but-thanks-for-asking/663247 "2013-07-11T20:03:24Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 8
**Author:** ![GrandWino](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grandwino/32/67_2.png) [@GrandWino](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrandWino)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2013, 9:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/umm-gosh-no-i-dont-actually-want-to-suck-your-cock-but-thanks-for-asking/663247/141 "2013-09-06T21:54:49Z")
> [@DiosaBellissima](#): > > And the overly long, underlined and bolded quotes begin. Oh, dear. It’s ok, Stoid has agreed to send every reader a grab-bag of pills that were previously prescribed to her pet ferret for louse issues. One of those pills should help us get through this thread, the rest - who knows, but get ready for a good time. ---
**Author:** ![Lemur866](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lemur866/32/434_2.png) [@Lemur866](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lemur866)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2013, 9:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/umm-gosh-no-i-dont-actually-want-to-suck-your-cock-but-thanks-for-asking/663247/142 "2013-09-06T21:57:24Z")
See, if a friend of mine had killed themselves, and my other friends were grieving and in shock, my first impulse would not be to grab a bunch of dog tranquillizers, race over, and as quickly as possible squirt liquid valium up their asses so they don’t have to feel this emotion. ---
**Author:** ![GrandWino](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grandwino/32/67_2.png) [@GrandWino](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrandWino)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2013, 10:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/umm-gosh-no-i-dont-actually-want-to-suck-your-cock-but-thanks-for-asking/663247/143 "2013-09-06T22:05:28Z")
> [@Lemur866](#): > > See, if a friend of mine had killed themselves, and my other friends were grieving and in shock, my first impulse would not be to grab a bunch of dog tranquillizers, race over, and as quickly as possible squirt liquid valium up their asses so they don’t have to feel this emotion. _ **You just don’t understand this totally normal activity!** _ ---
**Author:** ![Stoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stoid/32/272_2.png) [@Stoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stoid)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2013, 10:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/umm-gosh-no-i-dont-actually-want-to-suck-your-cock-but-thanks-for-asking/663247/144 "2013-09-06T22:45:35Z")
Reading this thread to my bestie (74 years old, pothead…me and my druggy friends…) over Facetime gave both of us the best laugh-til-you-cry we’ve had in ages, the pinnacle being Lemur’s post, which we had to revisit because I was laughing so hard I couldn’t get it all the way out the first time… > [@Lemur866](#): > > No, the best part is that these syringes are meant to be administered anally. Yeah, of course they’re valium for dogs. To be shoved up your grieving friends’ assholes. To, you know, comfort them. Two thumbs up! > [@Lemur866](#): > > See, if a friend of mine had killed themselves, and my other friends were grieving and in shock, my first impulse would not be to grab a bunch of dog tranquillizers, race over, and as quickly as possible squirt liquid valium up their asses so they don’t have to feel this emotion. Don’t leave us hanging, tell us what your first impulse would be: open the garage door so they can look at his corpse slumped behind the wheel to make sure they experience maximum impact? ---
**Author:** ![Girlundone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/919ad9/32.png) [@Girlundone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Girlundone)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2013, 10:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/umm-gosh-no-i-dont-actually-want-to-suck-your-cock-but-thanks-for-asking/663247/145 "2013-09-06T22:57:42Z")
> [@](#): > > Don’t leave us hanging, tell us what your first impulse would be: open the garage door so they can look at his corpse slumped behind the wheel to make sure they experience maximum impact? Surely there is something in between drug induced numbness and maximum impact? Are you saying the choices here are _either_ getting high and avoiding grief _or_ facing it full on by sitting in the garage with the still warm corpse? Shocking to you, I’m sure, but some people do not ever respond to grief by using drugs or alcohol. They feel deeply sad for a period because that’s a normal way to feel when a loved one dies. And why again are we not sucking this guy’s cock? You said no thanks in the thread title, but never said why. ---
**Author:** ![Mtgman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b5a626/32.png) [@Mtgman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mtgman)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2013, 11:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/umm-gosh-no-i-dont-actually-want-to-suck-your-cock-but-thanks-for-asking/663247/146 "2013-09-06T23:25:07Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > Christ, suck the guy’s cock already and let’s move on. [Dad says give him the blowjob. Or I can do it. Or if need be he’ll come down and do it himself, but for GOD’S SAKE…](http://www.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DeRtIzKCqFFo) Priceless. Enjoy, Steven ---
**Author:** ![Stoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stoid/32/272_2.png) [@Stoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stoid)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2013, 1:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/umm-gosh-no-i-dont-actually-want-to-suck-your-cock-but-thanks-for-asking/663247/147 "2013-09-07T01:32:05Z")
> [@Girlundone](#): > > And why again are we not sucking this guy’s cock? You said no thanks in the thread title, but never said why. Sure I did, read it again. ---
**Author:** ![Stoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stoid/32/272_2.png) [@Stoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stoid)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2013, 1:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/umm-gosh-no-i-dont-actually-want-to-suck-your-cock-but-thanks-for-asking/663247/148 "2013-09-07T01:33:06Z")
> [@Mtgman](#): > > [Dad says give him the blowjob. Or I can do it. Or if need be he’ll come down and do it himself, but for GOD’S SAKE…](http://www.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DeRtIzKCqFFo) > > Priceless. > > Enjoy, > Steven Comes up blank. ---
**Author:** ![DataX](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@DataX](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DataX)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2013, 2:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/umm-gosh-no-i-dont-actually-want-to-suck-your-cock-but-thanks-for-asking/663247/149 "2013-09-07T02:07:31Z")
> [@Stoid](#): > > And your “information” is coming from where, exactly? Dude - you realize I am supporting your position? Just cause an animal drug is approved by the FDA doesn’t mean it is the exact same thing in all cases, (but in this case - I concede it is). Some people think generics - for example - are worse (I don’t, but concede they might have different absorbtion rates based off of fillers and stuff - the same amount of active ingredient will still be there). I was assuming in at least some cases drugs are available for dogs that aren’t for humans - or in doses that weren’t for humans - as I would think fido wouldn’t need as much as a human would - and may be manufactured separately. I was arguing that even if such assumptions were true, that it didn’t mean the drug was unsafe. Just cause it was safer than I thought didn’t mean I was promoting ignorance. I would have no problem taking a drug that was originally prescribed for a pet (I’m not saying I would take any drug - just that I would treat it the same). Also - with regard to my word “abuse” - I was using the word abuse to denote a category in between “prescribed for a doctor” and “addicted”. Most people would consider someone who is injecting Valium into their ass as an addict. I was not. I am not obliged to use a specific definition of abuse - I was using a common one - see here: > **[Abuse](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Abuse#Substance_abuse)** > > Abuse is the act of improper usage or treatment of a person or thing, often to unfairly or improperly gain benefit. Abuse can come in many forms, such as: physical or verbal maltreatment, injury, assault, violation, rape, unjust practices, crimes, or other types of aggression. To these descriptions, one can also add the Kantian notion of the wrongness of using another human being as means to an end rather than as ends in themselves. Some sources describe abuse as "socially constructed", whi That defines any use not supervised my a medical professional as abuse. I have no problem with people injecting Valium - prescribed to fido - into their ass, but I would suggest that for every person who has made a considered decision to do this - knows the risk - is familiar with how rectal administration will effect their use of the drug vs oral - and can make intelligent informed decisions - here is at least one other person who is addicted to or abusing valium. I think my views are WAY closer to your views than most others on here. ---
**Author:** ![CrazyCatLady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dfb087/32.png) [@CrazyCatLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CrazyCatLady)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2013, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/umm-gosh-no-i-dont-actually-want-to-suck-your-cock-but-thanks-for-asking/663247/150 "2013-09-07T16:29:20Z")
> [@DataX](#): > > Just cause an animal drug is approved by the FDA doesn’t mean it is the exact same thing in all cases, (but in this case - I concede it is). If it’s the same drug and the same dosage, it’s the same thing. The brand names are usually different for animals and there might be a few tenths of a mg more variation in dosage from pill to pill in the bottle, but that’s pretty much it. Twenty-five mg of meloxicam is 25 mg of meloxicam, regardless of whether the name on the label is Mobic or Metacam. There are many drugs commonly used in veterinary medicine that human doctors typically don’t prescribe, but that’s simply because there are cheaper/more effective options available for humans that are toxic for other animals. The only drugs I’ve ever seen anyone use in a vet clinic that I can’t find human dosages for are flea and tick medications. And yeah, I’ve taken animal meds before, many times. I used to work for a guy who, if I had a sinus infection and needed a course of 500 mg Keflex, would tell me to fill the script myself out of the cephalexin bottle and charge me cost, so I was paying something like 50 cents instead of $10. He would also order me 150mg ranitidine for horses back in the days before you could get generic Zantac OTC. It’s honestly no different from her opening her purse and offering the friend in question a Xanax out of her own prescription. I don’t entirely hold with folks doing that, but it happens a fair bit in situations like that and I don’t entirely condemn it, either. ---
**Author:** ![Girlundone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/919ad9/32.png) [@Girlundone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Girlundone)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2013, 4:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/umm-gosh-no-i-dont-actually-want-to-suck-your-cock-but-thanks-for-asking/663247/151 "2013-09-07T16:34:46Z")
[QUOTE=stoid] Sure I did, read it again. [/QUOTE] I’d have to ass chug some Valium before trudging through this thread again. ---
**Author:** ![GrandWino](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grandwino/32/67_2.png) [@GrandWino](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrandWino)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2013, 5:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/umm-gosh-no-i-dont-actually-want-to-suck-your-cock-but-thanks-for-asking/663247/152 "2013-09-07T17:46:34Z")
> [@CrazyCatLady](#): > > And yeah, I’ve taken animal meds before, many times. I used to work for a guy who, if I had a sinus infection and needed a course of 500 mg Keflex, would tell me to fill the script myself out of the cephalexin bottle and charge me cost, so I was paying something like 50 cents instead of $10. He would also order me 150mg ranitidine for horses back in the days before you could get generic Zantac OTC. Thanks for weighing in, **CrazyCatLady** … ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2013, 6:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/umm-gosh-no-i-dont-actually-want-to-suck-your-cock-but-thanks-for-asking/663247/153 "2013-09-07T18:02:37Z")
> [@Girlundone](#): > > I’d have to ass chug some Valium before trudging through this thread again. So, I checked UrbanDictionary and yes, ass chugging is a known activity. Thanks. ---
**Author:** ![carnut](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnut/32/3531_2.png) [@carnut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnut)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2013, 6:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/umm-gosh-no-i-dont-actually-want-to-suck-your-cock-but-thanks-for-asking/663247/154 "2013-09-07T18:03:51Z")
Years ago I posted an ad looking for a housemate because my friend was leaving to get married. One of the people who responded was a young man who seemed awfully quiet and timid. I did tell him I was not looking for a “with benefits” housemate. Then he asked me “If we get along, maybe sometime when we are watching TV, would you hold my hand?” Yikes, that boy was lonely! I suggested that maybe he place a personals ad and the response was, “But those cost money.” Needless to say, he was not my next housemate. But I felt so sorry for him. I still can’t help hoping that he found himself a life and a decent partner. ---
**Author:** ![Nzinga\_Seated](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/b5ac83/32.png) [@Nzinga\_Seated](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nzinga_Seated)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2013, 7:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/umm-gosh-no-i-dont-actually-want-to-suck-your-cock-but-thanks-for-asking/663247/155 "2013-09-07T19:17:16Z")
Stoid, I like you a lot. You just don’t give a Fuuucckkk. ---
**Author:** ![Stoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stoid/32/272_2.png) [@Stoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stoid)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2013, 10:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/umm-gosh-no-i-dont-actually-want-to-suck-your-cock-but-thanks-for-asking/663247/156 "2013-09-07T22:08:58Z")
> [@Girlundone](#): > > I’d have to ass chug some Valium before trudging through this thread again. You don’t need to read the thread. It’s right there in the title. It was a weird question for you to ask to begin with, you know, as though the _default_ response would be “Thank god you finally asked!” ---
**Author:** ![Stoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stoid/32/272_2.png) [@Stoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stoid)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2013, 10:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/umm-gosh-no-i-dont-actually-want-to-suck-your-cock-but-thanks-for-asking/663247/157 "2013-09-07T22:10:34Z")
> [@Bob Ducca](#): > > Thanks for weighing in, **CrazyCatLady** … Yes, thanks, CCL…now Bob can readjust his world view. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Stoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stoid/32/272_2.png) [@Stoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stoid)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2013, 10:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/umm-gosh-no-i-dont-actually-want-to-suck-your-cock-but-thanks-for-asking/663247/158 "2013-09-07T22:14:50Z")
> [@Nzinga\_Seated](#): > > Stoid, I like you a lot. You just don’t give a Fuuucckkk. Why thanks, Nzinga. And you’re right, sort of. I so do not give a fuck about the sorts of things that generally lead to :eek::mad::rolleyes: directed at me around here, that’s for sure. But I do give a fuck about, well, things worth giving a fuck about. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Girlundone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/919ad9/32.png) [@Girlundone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Girlundone)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2013, 10:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/umm-gosh-no-i-dont-actually-want-to-suck-your-cock-but-thanks-for-asking/663247/159 "2013-09-07T22:29:49Z")
> [@](#): > > It was a weird question for you to ask to begin with, you know, as though the default response would be “Thank god you finally asked!” Actually I’m not sure how you settled on that as the default, but I’m guessing it has something to do with the Valium. Anyhoo, I asked because you seemed flattered that you made his dick hard, that he is pretty hot, and you also indicated that you are a very sexual person, so I was just wondering why you didn’t want to suck his cock. But as you pointed out, you said in the thread title that you didn’t want to because… _you didn’t want to._ Ok, that clears it up. Don’t know how I missed that. Makes perfect sense now. ---
**Author:** ![Stoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stoid/32/272_2.png) [@Stoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stoid)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2013, 10:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/umm-gosh-no-i-dont-actually-want-to-suck-your-cock-but-thanks-for-asking/663247/160 "2013-09-07T22:30:01Z")
> [@carnut](#): > > Years ago I posted an ad looking for a housemate because my friend was leaving to get married. One of the people who responded was a young man who seemed awfully quiet and timid. I did tell him I was not looking for a “with benefits” housemate. Then he asked me “If we get along, maybe sometime when we are watching TV, would you hold my hand?” > > Yikes, that boy was lonely! I suggested that maybe he place a personals ad and the response was, “But those cost money.” > > Needless to say, he was not my next housemate. But I felt so sorry for him. I still can’t help hoping that he found himself a life and a decent partner. Maybe he just wanted to hold hands, in which case a personals ad would not have been appropriate. My last therapist used a term I’d never heard before: skin hunger. It’s not about sex, it’s about contact. Touch. I have lived alone for many years. Since my friend moved in a month or two ago I have realized how much I needed what I get regularly again: a kiss (chaste) and hug in the morning, before bed, other times. We’ve even snuggled a little while watching TV. There’s zero sexual energy involved, it’s like he’s my brother. And it’s been extraordinarily uplifting to my spirit.\* At the end of the day, we’re great apes, and we need to indulge in what we call “grooming behavior” in the other apes - they do that to bond, to show affection, for mental health. But the way our society and culture work, we generally only get to really do that with our sexual partners and young children, which is unfortunate and leaves a lot of folks who aren’t in sexual relationships with a lot of “skin hunger”. My stepmother was a prostitute (well known, she’s an activist, and no she didn’t even become a prostitute until she and my father had already been together for years. And they were, and are to this day, the most loving and devoted couple I’ve ever met or even heard of, 40 years in…) and she told me years ago that a large percentage of her customers were much more about simple human contact and someone to talk to than sex. The most lucrative night she ever had (10K) involved nothing sexual at all, just keeping a man company and listening… I hope the young man found what he needed as well. \*Gotta give props to my dogs… and dogs everywhere, who fill these roles very well. Having their warm and affectionate fuzzy bods around goes a long way. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/umm-gosh-no-i-dont-actually-want-to-suck-your-cock-but-thanks-for-asking/663247.md?page=7) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/umm-gosh-no-i-dont-actually-want-to-suck-your-cock-but-thanks-for-asking/663247.md?page=9)