# Ummm, that's MY stapler
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ummm-thats-my-stapler/122437
**Category:** The BBQ Pit
**Created:** [August 5, 2002, 2:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ummm-thats-my-stapler/122437 "2002-08-05T14:18:19Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@Mullinator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mullinator)
#### Post date: [August 5, 2002, 2:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ummm-thats-my-stapler/122437/1 "2002-08-05T14:18:19Z")
This doesn’t qualify as a pit worthy rant in the true sense of the word. I am just kinda stunned at the impetuousness of a co-worker.
The scene. I am sitting at my desk working away. About 4 feet to my right, on my desk, surrounded by things I am working on is a stapler. It is clearly a stapler that at least superficially belongs to me. A guy that works in my vicinity comes walking over, picks it up, uses it, sets it back down and leaves all without either asking, saying anything, making eye contact or even generally acknowledging that the 2 of us share a genus, let alone office space.
This would be different if it was a good friend I worked with, but this dude is relatively new and at no point have the 2 of us had reason to meet, introduce ourselves, or even say hi. Heck, this guy even avoids doing the “head no while in passing” in the hallway. But, he is apparently comfortable enough to walk up to random people’s desks and use office equipment.
Maybe I can interest him in a bite of my lunch later.
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### Author:  [@Homebrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Homebrew)
#### Post date: [August 5, 2002, 2:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ummm-thats-my-stapler/122437/2 "2002-08-05T14:53:07Z")
At least he didn’t take it with him.
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### Author:  [@ultress](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ultress)
#### Post date: [August 5, 2002, 2:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ummm-thats-my-stapler/122437/3 "2002-08-05T14:56:56Z")
Well, **Mully** , we can look at this two ways. He could have been trying to be nice by not interrupting you while you were hard at work so rather than bother you he just used your stapler and went on his merry way. I hate to say it, but I’ve done this before. I need to staple something but rather than bother someone busy, I’ll just use it, if it’s in view and I’m not having to ruffle through their stuff to use it.
On the other hand, the stapler is company property and he just didn’t give a damn because in actuality you don’t truly ‘own’ the stapler the company is just letting you use it while you are employed with them. He needed a staple.
I’ll share your lunch with you…
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### Author:  [@Skerri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skerri)
#### Post date: [August 5, 2002, 2:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ummm-thats-my-stapler/122437/4 "2002-08-05T14:57:56Z")
Uh-oh. Looks like someone’s got a case of the “Mondays”!
(Just kidding! Quit throwing stuff!)
Well, maybe he feels like he’s still the ‘new guy’. Make a point of introducing yourself. Then beat him with the stapler and tell him not to touch your stuff again. 😃
Seriously, he may be shy, and it’s kind of hard to get to know people at a new job when you don’t want to look people in the eye. (I should know.) If you at least try to introduce yourself, and he still doesn’t seem too friendly, don’t worry about it. And if you’re really getting miffed just because he used your stapler, then you should probably take a couple of deep breaths and step away from the inbox for a while. Too much stress will make you set the building on fire. 😃
Skerri, who hopes you know what she’s talking about.
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### Author:  [@Mr.Moto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Moto)
#### Post date: [August 5, 2002, 2:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ummm-thats-my-stapler/122437/5 "2002-08-05T14:59:12Z")
Is it a Swingline, Milton?
“And they put my desk by the window and I could look outside and see the squirrels and they were married and then they moved me back against the wall and then they switched from the Swingline stapler to the Boston stapler but I kept my Swingline stapler because it doesn’t bind as much…”
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### Author:  [@Mr.Moto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Moto)
#### Post date: [August 5, 2002, 3:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ummm-thats-my-stapler/122437/6 "2002-08-05T15:00:21Z")
Damn! Beaten again!
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### Author:  [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)
#### Post date: [August 5, 2002, 3:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ummm-thats-my-stapler/122437/7 "2002-08-05T15:02:12Z")
I was told that I could listen to the radio at a reasonable volume.
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### Author:  [@pldennison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pldennison)
#### Post date: [August 5, 2002, 3:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ummm-thats-my-stapler/122437/8 "2002-08-05T15:17:07Z")
Ummm . . . yeah . . . there was a memo about Milton quotes in office equipment thread, so if you all could just read that over and start following the new guidlines, that would be great . . . yeah. Oh, and we’re using the new covers on those TPS reports, also, so if you could just make sure you’re doing that, that would be great.
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### Author:  [@gobear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gobear)
#### Post date: [August 5, 2002, 3:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ummm-thats-my-stapler/122437/9 "2002-08-05T15:27:33Z")
C’mon, don’t make me buy **Office Space** I’ve been holding out for the Special Edtion 2-disc set that’s supposed to come out in the fall.
Re the OP, the dude in question was out of bounds. Even if the stapler is only company property, the new dude ought to respect primate dominance rules and the territorial imperative. You don’t just invade another monkey’s space without so much as a “pant-hoot” or a submission display to one superior to you in the troop hierarchy.
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### Author:  [@Homebrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Homebrew)
#### Post date: [August 5, 2002, 3:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ummm-thats-my-stapler/122437/10 "2002-08-05T15:50:08Z")
_I_ thought an **Office Space/Milton** joke would be too obvious. But I could have done it first if I had wanted to since I did have the first reply.
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### Author:  [@WV\_Woman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WV_Woman)
#### Post date: [August 5, 2002, 3:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ummm-thats-my-stapler/122437/11 "2002-08-05T15:52:47Z")
We need to talk about your flare …
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### Author:  [@Sofa\_King](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sofa_King)
#### Post date: [August 5, 2002, 5:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ummm-thats-my-stapler/122437/12 "2002-08-05T17:11:21Z")
Some of you may be excited to learn that after years of intense lobbying by underproductive malcontents, Swingline recently unveiled [The Red Stapler](http://www.swingline.com/b2c/ourproducts/red.html).
Of course, such a novelty comes at a premium–$28.99. Someone’s gonna burn a building down over one of these puppies.
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### Author:  [@armedmonkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/armedmonkey)
#### Post date: [August 5, 2002, 5:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ummm-thats-my-stapler/122437/13 "2002-08-05T17:18:32Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by gobear \*
> \*\*Even if the stapler is only company property, the new dude ought to respect primate dominance rules and the territorial imperative. You don’t just invade another monkey’s space without so much as a “pant-hoot” or a submission display to one superior to you in the troop hierarchy. \*\*
Maybe **Mullinator** should throw some feces at him next time.
Another thing, I just noticed that _my_ stapler is gone, too. Is this the beginning of a nation wide crime wave? Is there a new criminal syndicate specializing in grand theft office supply? Is anyone’s stapler safe?
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### Author:  [@Scarlett67](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scarlett67)
#### Post date: [August 5, 2002, 5:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ummm-thats-my-stapler/122437/14 "2002-08-05T17:36:24Z")
At my last “real job,” we had three shifts that all shared the same work areas. At each work table there was SUPPOSED to be the standard supplies: spray adhesive, glass cleaner, a jar of opaque solution, tack cloth, paper wipes, and so on. These things were almost never there, or else there was three of one thing and none of everything else – there was not a dearth of supplies, it was just that people had no understanding of “use it up, replace it.”
I’m an admitted perfectionist and control freak, and it wan’t long before I’d had it. I bought a large lockable tackle box and stocked it with my personal tools plus one each of all those “community items.” The first night I brought it in I earned some weird looks. The first person who tried to borrow something out of it while I was working got the verbal equivalent of a fork in the hand, and no one tried THAT again.
But the upside of this was that I always had everything I need right at hand, unlike others who always had to go hunting. I could reach into my toolbox without looking and find what I needed. I also kept it stocked with little standard “consumables” we used in our work, which I made or gathered during slow times, so that when I was working on a rush job I didn’t have to stop and get or make those things, unlike others who never got anything until the last minute.
Guess whose billable work speed was consistently above average?
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### Author:  [@Podkayne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Podkayne)
#### Post date: [August 5, 2002, 6:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ummm-thats-my-stapler/122437/15 "2002-08-05T18:13:30Z")
Take the staples out.
Make him beg.
😛
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### Author:  [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)
#### Post date: [August 5, 2002, 6:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ummm-thats-my-stapler/122437/16 "2002-08-05T18:15:41Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Sofa King \*
> \*\*Some of you may be excited to learn that after years of intense lobbying by underproductive malcontents, Swingline recently unveiled [The Red Stapler](http://www.swingline.com/b2c/ourproducts/red.html).
>
> Of course, such a novelty comes at a premium–$28.99. Someone’s gonna burn a building down over one of these puppies. \*\*
Didja read the blurb with that puppy?
> [@](#):
>
> Up the Revolution: The Red Stapler! Staple and be heard! WHAM-cubicles! WHAM-dress code! WHAMWHAMWHAM! By popular demand, we’re offering this desk stapler in screaming, gleaming red. Use with caution (unless you’re the boss).
Nice to know the folks at Swingline have a sense of humor!
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### Author:  [@pesch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pesch)
#### Post date: [August 6, 2002, 3:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ummm-thats-my-stapler/122437/17 "2002-08-06T03:26:05Z")
Red Swingline Stapler
Ohhhhh! Sexy!
Guess who’s been working in an office for too long
Plus, I got the “Office Space” references, and I still haven’t seen the movie.
Guess who’s been reading too many SDMB threads at work
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### Author:  [@Cessandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cessandra)
#### Post date: [August 6, 2002, 3:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ummm-thats-my-stapler/122437/18 "2002-08-06T03:45:17Z")
My last job was in a call center. Each station was supposed to have a phone (with a handset), a headset, and a box for the headset. Because we didn’t actually have enough of these things, and because they kept getting broken, moving any company equipment from one station to another was a _terminable offense_. Guess if that stopped anybody.
I finally started bringing in my own headset & box. Then I moved on to hunting down the morons who kept installing unauthorized programs and filling the favourites list with non-work-related websites.
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### Author:  [@LolaCocaCola](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LolaCocaCola)
#### Post date: [August 6, 2002, 3:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ummm-thats-my-stapler/122437/19 "2002-08-06T03:59:37Z")
Maybe you should make friends with the new guy…y’know…maybe show him your “Oh” face…
“Oh Oh Oh!”
_wink_
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### Author:  [@Orual](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Orual)
#### Post date: [August 6, 2002, 4:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ummm-thats-my-stapler/122437/20 "2002-08-06T04:09:13Z")
are you going to set the building on fire?
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