# Un, I Don't Like My Church. Help Me Out Here. **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [December 15, 2002, 3:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/un-i-dont-like-my-church-help-me-out-here/142893 "2002-12-15T15:53:08Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 6\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![TVeblen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/4bbf92/32.png) [@TVeblen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TVeblen)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2002, 3:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/un-i-dont-like-my-church-help-me-out-here/142893/21 "2002-12-16T03:01:10Z")
I’m not a church-goer but many of friends/family are. This suggestion may be slightly off kilter but it’s based on past situations/ conversations with them. I’m absolutely clueless as the the wider organizational structures of denominations, and maybe you wouldn’t want to ask an, I dunno, over-arching authority for suggestions on a more compatible church. But many phone books list churches, by demonination, in the yellow pages, often with service times. Could you just visit some of the other churches several times for services and see if one fits you better? If that idea is full of beans, my apologies. Your situation is outside my experience, and I suspect some subtleties and nuances maybe didn’t register. But at least you’d still be attending church services, in your faith and denomination. Veb ---
**Author:** ![JustPlainBryan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/57b2e6/32.png) [@JustPlainBryan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JustPlainBryan)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2002, 3:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/un-i-dont-like-my-church-help-me-out-here/142893/22 "2002-12-16T03:33:32Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by TVGuy \* > \*\*As another non-believer, I wonder why it is that people have to have the vestments, the building, the robes and gilding, the statues and songs and books and so on to affirm their faith. > > Shouldn’t the faith alone be enough??? \*\* Not for a lot of people, such as myself. The robes, the vestments, the building, the gilding, the statues, etc. all have their subtle effect on the human psyche. That effect is the feeling of being closer to the divine. If you can automatically do it on your own, that is all well and good, but many of us still do not have the mental discipline to feel immensely spiritual out of the blue. This is where symbols, icons, and mythologies come into play. For me, it’s not even a question of “affirming” faith anymore. I’m all about experiencing deity directly using different props to achieve that effect. ---
**Author:** ![lel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8797f3/32.png) [@lel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lel)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2002, 7:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/un-i-dont-like-my-church-help-me-out-here/142893/23 "2002-12-16T07:07:38Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by rastahomie \* > \*\*For a basis of comparison, our worship services tend to be almost identical to what you’d find in a Southern Baptist (or just plain Baptist) church. Apart from some slight (and not-so-slight) theological differences, the principal difference between us and Baptists (and most other demonitations, for that matter) is the lack of a governing heirarchy. > > **All** RM churches are without liturgy or ritual, as that is part of the historical basis of the RM itself (as the linked article makes rather clear). So it seems that the only option is to leave the denomination. But I’m not prepared to give up Believer’s Baptism by immersion, so it looks like I’m stuck here. > > Sigh. \*\* Not to push changing denominations too much, but I’ve never heard of a Southern Baptist church that doesn’t practice [believer’s baptism by immersion](http://www.sbc.net/bfm/bfm2000.asp#vii), and while they have a national convention, it is by no means a governing hierarchy – if anything, it errs on the side of being almost powerless (see [here](http://www.sbc.net/aboutus/clwhydenomination.asp) for more information). As for the formality of services, it varies widely – there are Southern Baptist churches that have more traditional, solemn services and there are Southern Baptist churches that sound like rock concerts. At any rate, best wishes! ---
**Author:** ![Zoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/a4c791/32.png) [@Zoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zoe)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2002, 8:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/un-i-dont-like-my-church-help-me-out-here/142893/24 "2002-12-16T08:54:04Z")
I also respond to ritual. It helps me to focus and provides a sense of peaceful worship. So I became a member of the Anglican (Episcopal) Church. But then they undated the Prayer Book (which seemed to make sense at the time) and became less formal. I too miss the higher mass, but appreciate the ritual that is still there. I mention this church because they do accept baptism that has already taken place. And, I have been to at least one imersion. I assume that is still an option. I see nothing wrong with attending two different services and keeping your membership where it is. ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2002, 3:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/un-i-dont-like-my-church-help-me-out-here/142893/25 "2002-12-16T15:56:10Z")
Are you the only one that feels this way in your congregation (perhaps it’s hard to tell) - I’d definitely have a friendly chat with your pastor or someone else in leadership. They may not be interested in adapting to your needs (“this isn’t a democracy” is one term I have heard used :rolleyes: - sure it isn’t, but that doesn’t make leaders infallible). It may be that someone in leadership has ‘sensed’ that something is adrift and is just waiting for some feedback, this may not be the case, but where’s the harm in trying? I’ve heard a lot of criticism of ritual from modern evangelicals, IMHO they don’t realise that what they do is often just as ritualistic/formulaic as anything you’d see in a high(bells & smells) church, it’s just different rituals that take the guise of ‘free worship’ - there’s a tendency to throw out the baby with the bathwater and consider any tradition to be outdated or worthless - a terrible waste. We might just as easily argue that worshipping God by singing is out of date, after all it’s been around a very long time. Humans are creatures of habit, ritual provides a way of harnessing this. ---
**Author:** ![c\_carol](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e79b87/32.png) [@c\_carol](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/c_carol)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2002, 4:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/un-i-dont-like-my-church-help-me-out-here/142893/26 "2002-12-22T04:44:15Z")
Rastahomie, I hadn’t heard of the Restoration Movement before, but it sounds very much like the non-denominational churches my parents grew up in. We moved to a town without an “Assembly” when I was in kindergarten, and ended up trying a couple of Southern Baptist churches before we found the right fit. The more conservative-ish Baptist/Southern Baptist churches aren’t as different in theology from yours as you might think. Might be something to think about, anyway. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/un-i-dont-like-my-church-help-me-out-here/142893.md?page=1)