# Unanswerable questions and eternal mysteries of pop culture (SPOILERS). **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [December 13, 2005, 7:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unanswerable-questions-and-eternal-mysteries-of-pop-culture-spoilers/335453 "2005-12-13T19:04:10Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![DocCathode](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doccathode/32/18773_2.png) [@DocCathode](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocCathode)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2005, 7:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unanswerable-questions-and-eternal-mysteries-of-pop-culture-spoilers/335453/101 "2005-12-14T19:44:58Z")
> [@AtomicDog](#): > > Who was the Star Sapphire with the French accent in the **Secret Society of Supervillans** comic? Hmm, I have a few issues and the Star Sapphire in them has no accent. Could the French one be the Earth 1 version? Could it be that being new money, Star Sapphire feels the need to use a fake accent to set herself above the masses? Re Kong WAGs Originally, the wall was built to keep out all the giant apes and dinosaurs. Then, one giant gorilla claimed the village as his territory and the villagers began making propitiatory sacrifices to him. The purpose of the wall changed from keeping out all the monsters, to keeping out everybody but Kong. He is their god and is welcome in the village anytime. After all these years, it wouldn’t be dangerous to have him come in. Kong knows that the villagers give him free food. Why bother attacking them? The wall is still needed to keep out the other monsters. The recently released book King Of Skull Island is supposed to adress why the wall was built. The reviews have said it was built to keep out something other than Kong. ---
**Author:** ![Nature\_s\_Call](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nature_s_call/32/19006_2.png) [@Nature\_s\_Call](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nature_s_Call)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2005, 8:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unanswerable-questions-and-eternal-mysteries-of-pop-culture-spoilers/335453/102 "2005-12-14T20:11:33Z")
How _do_ they get the soft creamy caramel inside the chocolatey pockets of a Caramilk bar? How much wood _would_ a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? How _do_ you solve a problem like Maria? What was the combination to the safe in episode #38? ---
**Author:** ![JohnT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnt/32/15048_2.png) [@JohnT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnT)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2005, 8:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unanswerable-questions-and-eternal-mysteries-of-pop-culture-spoilers/335453/103 "2005-12-14T20:32:17Z")
What _if_ God was one of us? ---
**Author:** ![meanoldman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@meanoldman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/meanoldman)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2005, 8:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unanswerable-questions-and-eternal-mysteries-of-pop-culture-spoilers/335453/104 "2005-12-14T20:39:52Z")
How do you handle a hungry man? ---
**Author:** ![meanoldman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@meanoldman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/meanoldman)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2005, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unanswerable-questions-and-eternal-mysteries-of-pop-culture-spoilers/335453/105 "2005-12-14T20:44:58Z")
D’oh! Missed point of OP entirely. How about… how did Ben Cartwright get all that land in the first place? And as long as I’m at it… how did/why did all his wives die? ---
**Author:** ![Beadalin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3be4f8/32.png) [@Beadalin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beadalin)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2005, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unanswerable-questions-and-eternal-mysteries-of-pop-culture-spoilers/335453/106 "2005-12-14T21:09:06Z")
How much IS that doggy in the window? Will Roland ever reach his clearing at the end of the path? Will he call the names of his fallen comrades from the top of the Dark Tower? ---
**Author:** ![Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e47c2d/32.png) [@Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biffy_the_Elephant_Shrew)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2005, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unanswerable-questions-and-eternal-mysteries-of-pop-culture-spoilers/335453/107 "2005-12-14T21:20:28Z")
> [@Manatee](#): > > Oh, I wonder, wonder, I wonder who. Who wrote the book of love? Robyn Hitchcock answered that one: > [@](#): > > _I know who wrote the Book of Love: > It was an idiot! > It was a fool! > A slobbering fool with a speech defect and a shaking hand, > And he wrote my name > Next to yours._ ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2005, 9:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unanswerable-questions-and-eternal-mysteries-of-pop-culture-spoilers/335453/108 "2005-12-14T21:22:32Z")
> [@Nature's Call](#): > > How _do_ you solve a problem like Maria? Electro-shock. ---
**Author:** ![UncleRojelio](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/unclerojelio/32/3160_2.png) [@UncleRojelio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleRojelio)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2005, 10:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unanswerable-questions-and-eternal-mysteries-of-pop-culture-spoilers/335453/109 "2005-12-14T22:12:46Z")
> [@Nature's Call](#): > > How much wood _would_ a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? A woodchuck would chuck what wood a woodchuck could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood. ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2005, 10:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unanswerable-questions-and-eternal-mysteries-of-pop-culture-spoilers/335453/110 "2005-12-14T22:20:17Z")
> [@UncleRojelio](#): > > A woodchuck would chuck what wood a woodchuck could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood. I’ve always wondered how much ground could a ground hog ground if a Ground Hog did hog ground? ---
**Author:** ![Beadalin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3be4f8/32.png) [@Beadalin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beadalin)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2005, 10:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unanswerable-questions-and-eternal-mysteries-of-pop-culture-spoilers/335453/111 "2005-12-14T22:25:24Z")
Wouldn’t that be, “I’ve always wondered how much ground could a ground hog **hog** if a Ground Hog did hog ground”? ---
**Author:** ![Ghanima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Ghanima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ghanima)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2005, 10:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unanswerable-questions-and-eternal-mysteries-of-pop-culture-spoilers/335453/112 "2005-12-14T22:32:01Z")
> [@Nature's Call](#): > > How _do_ you solve a problem like Maria? Apparently you send her off to be the governess of the seven children of an anti-nazi widower, and don’t let her come back. ---
**Author:** ![Lemur866](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lemur866/32/434_2.png) [@Lemur866](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lemur866)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2005, 10:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unanswerable-questions-and-eternal-mysteries-of-pop-culture-spoilers/335453/113 "2005-12-14T22:32:17Z")
> [@Nature's Call](#): > > How _do_ you solve a problem like Maria? I think this was answered by the movie, since the nuns were singing it at her wedding. Apparently the answer is to marry her and then pork her to within an inch of her life. ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2005, 10:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unanswerable-questions-and-eternal-mysteries-of-pop-culture-spoilers/335453/114 "2005-12-14T22:34:03Z")
> [@Beadalin](#): > > Wouldn’t that be, “I’ve always wondered how much ground could a ground hog **hog** if a Ground Hog did hog ground”? :smack: You are correct. Jim ---
**Author:** ![Battle\_Pope](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4bbf92/32.png) [@Battle\_Pope](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Battle_Pope)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2005, 10:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unanswerable-questions-and-eternal-mysteries-of-pop-culture-spoilers/335453/115 "2005-12-14T22:35:09Z")
> [@DocCathode](#): > > Doesn’t he? I remember other characters calling R2 on walkie talkies. Most of the shtick at the start of Ep3. was based around Obi-wan giving him a (rather loud) comm-link. All the communications to the droids in Ep4 while on the Death Star was using C3PO as an in-between using the same kind of device. ---
**Author:** ![Superdude](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/superdude/32/13450_2.png) [@Superdude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superdude)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2005, 11:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unanswerable-questions-and-eternal-mysteries-of-pop-culture-spoilers/335453/116 "2005-12-14T23:37:02Z")
> [@Big Bad Voodoo Lou](#): > > Yes. Early on, when the Decepticons attacked the shuttle, they killed Ratchet, Prowl, Brawn, and Ironhide. Later on, after the siege of Autobot City, we also saw the bodies of Wheeljack and Windcharger, who presumably perished off-camera. This brings to mind another Transformer question: How do they reproduce? Simple answer would be that they don’t. They’re robots. But then why are they all so upset when Prime dies? I mean, can’t they just transfer his file to another body? And, from the movie, Arcee and Hot Rod kinda had this “sexual tension” thing going. But robots generally aren’t sex-oriented. At least, none that I’ve encountered. So, do Transformers have sex? And if so, do the Autobots stay within the “conventional” boundaries, and the Decepticons get into the more “taboo” activities, like humping regular cars on the street? Would that be considered rape? If, say, Starscream stuck his “hardware” into a normal car’s gas tank? And, furthermore, would screwing a gas tank be considered the Transformer equivalent of anal sex? ---
**Author:** ![DocCathode](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doccathode/32/18773_2.png) [@DocCathode](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocCathode)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2005, 11:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unanswerable-questions-and-eternal-mysteries-of-pop-culture-spoilers/335453/117 "2005-12-14T23:58:02Z")
> [@Superdude](#): > > This brings to mind another Transformer question: > > How do they reproduce? Way back in the eighties, the Marvel series revealed that one Transformer in each generation was given The Creation Matrix. The Matrix allowed for the creation of new minds/souls for Tranformer bodies. > [@](#): > > Simple answer would be that they don’t. They’re robots. But they are explicitly reproducing robots. Otherwise, there would just be Unicron. [QUTE]But then why are they all so upset when Prime dies? I mean, can’t they just transfer his file to another body? [/QUOTE] I still haven’t gotten around to seeing the movie. At that time, the comics were going with the idea that a Transformer’s mind/soul/whatever was just a file that could be backed up, transferred etc. Beast Wars and Beast Machines, included the idea that a Transformer’s mind/soul was an energy thingy called a spark. Sparks are what make Transformer’s truly alive. They cannot be backed up or generated at will. They can be transferred to new bodies, or temporarily housed in another body. But, if the spark is destroyed then the Transformer in question is dead for good. > [@](#): > > So, do Transformers have sex? Silverbolt and Black Arachnia sure did. He flew off on patrol and met her again. They talk a bit. He takes her in his arms and moves in for a kiss. Cut to Black Arachnia’s leg bending in the classic romantic swoon pose. Then, back at camp- Rattrap “Where have you been?” Silverbolt “Scouting for the enemy.” Rattrap (filled with sarcasm, and obviously aware what Silverbolt has been up to) “Find any new positions?” ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2005, 2:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unanswerable-questions-and-eternal-mysteries-of-pop-culture-spoilers/335453/118 "2005-12-15T02:10:59Z")
And who was it who called up Tim Robbins character in _The Player_ and threatened him all the time? ---
**Author:** ![Yumblie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/76d3ee/32.png) [@Yumblie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yumblie)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2005, 2:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unanswerable-questions-and-eternal-mysteries-of-pop-culture-spoilers/335453/119 "2005-12-15T02:31:05Z")
What was that whole “noodle incident” that Calvin was responsible for? ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d26b3c/32.png) [@Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Blue_Sky)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2005, 2:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unanswerable-questions-and-eternal-mysteries-of-pop-culture-spoilers/335453/120 "2005-12-15T02:42:03Z")
> [@Yumblie](#): > > What was that whole “noodle incident” that Calvin was responsible for? …and what was “Hamster Huey and the Gooey Kablooey” about? (I love that title) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unanswerable-questions-and-eternal-mysteries-of-pop-culture-spoilers/335453.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unanswerable-questions-and-eternal-mysteries-of-pop-culture-spoilers/335453.md?page=7)