# Unban Satan!
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unban-satan/147118
**Category:** The BBQ Pit
**Created:** [January 7, 2003, 7:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unban-satan/147118 "2003-01-07T07:06:35Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@Joe\_Cool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Joe_Cool)
#### Post date: [January 7, 2003, 7:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unban-satan/147118/1 "2003-01-07T07:06:35Z")
Please?
I’m sure the staff had good reasons for taking the action they did…I’m not questioning that. But even though we didn’t agree on…well…much at all, the board lost a great asset when he left. Not many folks were ever as entertaining to read. And isn’t a year and a half enough time to think, hey, maybe the guy has reformed and maybe deserves another chance?
Just a random thought. I met him this weekend, and he’s a really cool guy - something you can’t have too many of, and some considerably less-cool people than Brian have had multiple 2nd and 3rd chances lately.
Anyway, I want to be clear that this is a suggestion/request, not a flame or a complaint. The only reason I posted it here is that it’s a discussion of a moderator decision, and I’d really prefer nice, friendly discussion from the peanut gallery, and I hope the staff doesn’t throw rocks at me or anything.
🙂
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### Author:  [@Stoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stoid)
#### Post date: [January 7, 2003, 7:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unban-satan/147118/2 "2003-01-07T07:17:16Z")
Hey, I’m with you. I miss him terribly.
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### Author:  [@JerseyDiamond](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JerseyDiamond)
#### Post date: [January 7, 2003, 7:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unban-satan/147118/3 "2003-01-07T07:20:44Z")
It would be nice to have **Satan** back! please…
bet ya never thought you’d hear JD asking for Satan to be with us :eek: 😃
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### Author:  [@Briny\_Deep](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Briny_Deep)
#### Post date: [January 7, 2003, 7:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unban-satan/147118/4 "2003-01-07T07:23:22Z")
I totally agree, if only for the amusement value of seeing Polycarp and others say things like “As my friend Satan says, the Lord moves in mysterious ways…”
But Satan was a riot as a poster, of course. (I read his posts in my total lurk stage.) I hope he would return, if invited.
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### Author:  [@Typo\_Negative](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Typo_Negative)
#### Post date: [January 7, 2003, 7:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unban-satan/147118/5 "2003-01-07T07:24:06Z")
Does Satan _want_ to come back?
If so, I’m all for it.
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### Author:  [@Geek\_Mecha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Geek_Mecha)
#### Post date: [January 7, 2003, 7:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unban-satan/147118/6 "2003-01-07T07:26:32Z")
Has he asked to be unbanned? Has he approached the powers that be and asked for reinstatement? If not, why the campaigning? His value as a poster aside, if he hasn’t expressed interest in returning, I don’t see the point.
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### Author:  [@Duck\_Duck\_Goose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duck_Duck_Goose)
#### Post date: [January 7, 2003, 7:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unban-satan/147118/7 "2003-01-07T07:29:10Z")
Is this going to be like the write-in campaign to save Star Trek? Or like clapping to save Tinkerbell? “If everybody just _believes_, Satan will be unbanned!”
I’m with Audrey–it’s between him and the Administration.
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### Author:  [@Joe\_Cool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Joe_Cool)
#### Post date: [January 7, 2003, 7:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unban-satan/147118/8 "2003-01-07T07:32:24Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by AudreyK \*
> \*\*Has he asked to be unbanned? Has he approached the powers that be and asked for reinstatement? If not, why the campaigning? His value as a poster aside, if he hasn’t expressed interest in returning, I don’t see the point. \*\*
Of course, not being moderators, you and I don’t have any idea who has approached them with what, beyond what he told me (which is that he does want to come back).
You don’t need to see the point.
DDG, as this is a discussion of the administration’s decision, I thought it fairly evident that it is _directed_ to the administration, so thanks for your input.
Did you think I was asking **you** to unban him?
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### Author:  [@pkbites](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pkbites)
#### Post date: [January 7, 2003, 7:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unban-satan/147118/9 "2003-01-07T07:41:26Z")
I need to research this a bit…but didn’t **SATAN** defend and/or participate in telemarketing?:eek: :mad: Let’em rot!😛
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### Author:  [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)
#### Post date: [January 7, 2003, 8:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unban-satan/147118/10 "2003-01-07T08:04:49Z")
I miss the guy, but the administration gave him a lot of rope, and he hung himself with it. Whachagonnado?
Yer pal,
Knead
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### Author:  [@Duck\_Duck\_Goose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duck_Duck_Goose)
#### Post date: [January 7, 2003, 8:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unban-satan/147118/11 "2003-01-07T08:35:24Z")
> [@](#):
>
> Did you think I was asking you to unban him?
Go fuck yourself, you sanctimonious pinheaded asshole.
If I had thought you were asking **me** to unban him, I’d hardly have said, “This is between him and the administration”–I’d have said, “Gee, I’ll have to think about that…”
> [@](#):
>
> I thought it fairly evident that it is directed to the administration
Why not just send them an e-mail? Why start an entire thread?
Answer: A thread gets **you** more attention, plus you get to pretend to be the Good Guy. “What a terrible thing, that this fine upstanding young man has been banned! Can’t something be done about it?”
Ass.
:rolleyes:
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### Author:  [@pkbites](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pkbites)
#### Post date: [January 7, 2003, 8:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unban-satan/147118/12 "2003-01-07T08:53:43Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Duck Duck Goose \*
> \*\*Go fuck yourself, you sanctimonious pinheaded asshole.
> Ass.:rolleyes: \*\*
😛 Wow! Was that **DDG** posting?
Word to the wise **Joe-Cool** : never piss off a FIB!😉
And I mean FIB as a term of endearment!
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### Author:  [@Angel\_of\_the\_Lord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Angel_of_the_Lord)
#### Post date: [January 7, 2003, 8:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unban-satan/147118/13 "2003-01-07T08:58:01Z")
…um…if **Satan** came back, would I have to fight him?
;).
Seriously, though, I was lurking when this stuff went down. He was warned time and again about–I believe, anyway–personal attacks, didn’t listen, and got banned. It happens. He was a smart cookie, but even the Smarties can act like Dum-Dums, sometimes.
Bottom line, he was smart enough to know how to _not_ get banned. Additionally, if he wants to get reinstated, he’s both smart enough and eloquent enough to write the mods himself and plead his own case. He doesn’t need your help, and I don’t think it’ll work, anyway; the mods’ve probably heard this a million times before, and if it’s from someone other than **Satan** , they’re probably not going to listen.
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### Author:  [@Stoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stoid)
#### Post date: [January 7, 2003, 8:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unban-satan/147118/14 "2003-01-07T08:59:19Z")
Someone has possessed DDG! Help! Help!
And I think if Brian asked nice and promised to be good, they might consider it. He’s been gone for what, almost two years? That seems pretty solid punishment, I’m sure he’s learned whatever lessons are required. It’s not like some asshat sock/troll asking for reinstatement.
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### Author:  [@Typo\_Negative](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Typo_Negative)
#### Post date: [January 7, 2003, 9:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unban-satan/147118/15 "2003-01-07T09:02:21Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by pkbites \*
> \*\*
> Word to the wise **Joe-Cool** : never piss off a FIB!😉
> And I mean FIB as a term of endearment! \*\*
OK, what’s a FIB?
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### Author:  [@Joe\_Cool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Joe_Cool)
#### Post date: [January 7, 2003, 9:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unban-satan/147118/16 "2003-01-07T09:04:09Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by pkbites \*
> \*\*😛 Wow! Was that **DDG** posting?
> Word to the wise **Joe-Cool** : never piss off a FIB!😉
> And I mean FIB as a term of endearment! \*\*
FIB meaning what… **F** ucking **I** m **B** ecile?
Yeah I see that.
Duck Duck Goose, you fucking pretentious bitch, who the hell do you think you are? That’s exactly the problem. You think you’re the Mother Hen on this board. :rolleyes: I think you need to spend some time offline and drink a glass of reality.
On the other hand, for a change you actually posted something you thought up yourself, instead of a cascade of quotes you found on Google, so I guess I should encourage you instead of complaining.
Nice job. Better sign off before the ward nurse finds out you didn’t swallow your meds again.
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### Author:  [@Joe\_Cool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Joe_Cool)
#### Post date: [January 7, 2003, 9:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unban-satan/147118/17 "2003-01-07T09:07:37Z")
Anyway…like I said, I understand that there were good reasons why they banned him in the first place. I just wonder why some posters are given so many chances when other (sometimes more productive and less hateful) posters appear to be simply done and over.
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### Author:  [@Desmostylus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Desmostylus)
#### Post date: [January 7, 2003, 9:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unban-satan/147118/18 "2003-01-07T09:14:06Z")
Focused Ion Beam? Pretty scary.
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### Author:  [@pkbites](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pkbites)
#### Post date: [January 7, 2003, 9:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unban-satan/147118/19 "2003-01-07T09:16:02Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by spooje \*
> \*\*OK, what’s a FIB? \*\*
Well, it’s a term most Cheese Heads (that’s what you call us folks whom live in Wisconsin) refer to people living in Illinois.
It stands either for **F** ucking **I** llinois **B** astard or **F** ucking **I** llinois **B** itch, depending upon what sex you’re dealing with. It’s usually cursed upon people driving cars with Land O’ lincoln license plates that are flying by us at 900 MPH over the speed limit. The FIBS come up here ane rape our highways on the weekends. Apparently speed limits don’t count down in the Flat Lands.
I believe **DDG** is a resident of FIB land, but I should check my sources to be sure.
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### Author:  [@Geek\_Mecha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Geek_Mecha)
#### Post date: [January 7, 2003, 10:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unban-satan/147118/20 "2003-01-07T10:18:37Z")
The point _you_ seem to be ignoring, **Joe\_Cool** , is that you have zero business posting a reinstatement appeal.
**Satan** ’s an adult. If he wants to come back, he’ll e-mail the board admins. He, as well as you and I, know this is proper procedure.
If all he’s done to get reinstated is express to a current SDMB member that he’d like to return but has made no attempt to contact an admin, then I question his resolve to be reinstated. And so should you.
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