# Uncomfortable situation: stay or go? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [May 11, 2017, 5:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/uncomfortable-situation-stay-or-go/786371 "2017-05-11T17:15:54Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![DCnDC](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dcndc/32/2842_2.png) [@DCnDC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DCnDC)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2017, 5:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/uncomfortable-situation-stay-or-go/786371/1 "2017-05-11T17:15:54Z")
You’re in a room with a bunch of people, maybe 10 or so. You know everyone but would not categorize most as much more than an acquaintance. Across the room there’s some sort of increasingly intense argument (the specifics are not important, but an example might be something like friends of friends having a public breakup at a party, or co-workers you don’t work with directly having an argument about something completely unrelated to you). You don’t know what it’s about but it’s getting more conspicuous. It’s happening way over there, but they’re between yourself and the door. You look around the room and it has started to catch everyone else’s attention. You could help diffuse the situation, or maybe you’d rather just leave it alone… Do you stay or do you go? ---
**Author:** ![Slash1972](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slash1972/32/6461_2.png) [@Slash1972](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slash1972)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2017, 5:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/uncomfortable-situation-stay-or-go/786371/2 "2017-05-11T17:20:05Z")
Is there an open bar? ---
**Author:** ![DCnDC](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dcndc/32/2842_2.png) [@DCnDC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DCnDC)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2017, 5:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/uncomfortable-situation-stay-or-go/786371/3 "2017-05-11T17:23:17Z")
> [@Slash1972](#): > > Is there an open bar? 😃 Funny. I put that in the poll before I could see your post. ---
**Author:** ![DCnDC](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dcndc/32/2842_2.png) [@DCnDC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DCnDC)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2017, 5:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/uncomfortable-situation-stay-or-go/786371/4 "2017-05-11T17:26:49Z")
BTW I know I meant “defused.” Brain farted. ---
**Author:** ![Tranquilis](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tranquilis/32/3639_2.png) [@Tranquilis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tranquilis)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2017, 5:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/uncomfortable-situation-stay-or-go/786371/5 "2017-05-11T17:30:57Z")
Other. What do I know about the situation? What level of threat do I percieve? What level of escalation do I percieve? Is there anyone with me to whom I am reponsible, or whom I must protect? How are others reacting? In short: Assess, then decide. I don’t yet have enough information to known what decision I’d take, so… Other. ---
**Author:** ![Tim\_R.Mortiss](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tim_r.mortiss/32/142_2.png) [@Tim\_R.Mortiss](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tim_R.Mortiss)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2017, 5:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/uncomfortable-situation-stay-or-go/786371/6 "2017-05-11T17:33:25Z")
I thrive on the discomfort of others. I would grab a bag of Cheeto’s and enjoy the show. ---
**Author:** ![Scumpup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce73a5/32.png) [@Scumpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scumpup)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2017, 5:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/uncomfortable-situation-stay-or-go/786371/7 "2017-05-11T17:38:34Z")
I’m gone. If I’m not close friends with anybody there, then I’m not interested or getting involved. ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/22080_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2017, 5:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/uncomfortable-situation-stay-or-go/786371/8 "2017-05-11T17:39:58Z")
I don’t like being around people who are fighting - especially if alcohol is involved. And I can’t imagine how I could defuse such a situation, which is why I never wanted to be in a position where I was in charge of other people. I’d remove myself from the setting. ---
**Author:** ![snowthx](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snowthx/32/10660_2.png) [@snowthx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/snowthx)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2017, 5:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/uncomfortable-situation-stay-or-go/786371/9 "2017-05-11T17:44:17Z")
The poll needs “Get out smart phone and start recording”. I would probably step-in before things got too hot and try to diffuse things. If I was unsuccessful within a minute or so, I would start backing out the door, and maybe call on an authority with training on such situations. ---
**Author:** ![MoonMoon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/moonmoon/32/2959_2.png) [@MoonMoon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MoonMoon)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2017, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/uncomfortable-situation-stay-or-go/786371/10 "2017-05-11T17:49:05Z")
Chances are close to 100% that I didn’t want to be there in the first place, so at the first sign of something uncomfortable, I’m outta there. ---
**Author:** ![iiandyiiii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/iiandyiiii/32/7924_2.png) [@iiandyiiii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iiandyiiii)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2017, 5:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/uncomfortable-situation-stay-or-go/786371/11 "2017-05-11T17:55:59Z")
I wouldn’t beeline for the door, but I’d start to say my goodbyes. ---
**Author:** ![FloatyGimpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/floatygimpy/32/7750_2.png) [@FloatyGimpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FloatyGimpy)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2017, 6:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/uncomfortable-situation-stay-or-go/786371/12 "2017-05-11T18:05:43Z")
If it looked like it was going to end up in fisticuffs I’d make my way to the door. ---
**Author:** ![monstro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba9def/32.png) [@monstro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monstro)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2017, 6:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/uncomfortable-situation-stay-or-go/786371/13 "2017-05-11T18:10:30Z")
I would probably stick around. There will likely be a need for an objective eye witness. ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2017, 6:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/uncomfortable-situation-stay-or-go/786371/14 "2017-05-11T18:14:35Z")
I’m pretty much certain I’d stick around. I’m not certain how involved I’d get, and that would probably depend on how much alcohol I’ve already drunk and how irritated I’m feeling that day. ---
**Author:** ![Drunky\_Smurf](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drunky_smurf/32/449_2.png) [@Drunky\_Smurf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drunky_Smurf)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2017, 6:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/uncomfortable-situation-stay-or-go/786371/15 "2017-05-11T18:25:26Z")
> [@snowthx](#): > > The poll needs “Get out smart phone and start recording”. This. Then I yell “World Star!” ---
**Author:** ![Quartz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quartz/32/267_2.png) [@Quartz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quartz)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2017, 10:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/uncomfortable-situation-stay-or-go/786371/16 "2017-05-11T22:36:58Z")
If one of the people is the host I’m leaving; otherwise, I’d get the host to intervene, and I’ll offer to help. ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2017, 10:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/uncomfortable-situation-stay-or-go/786371/17 "2017-05-11T22:40:55Z")
To ruin a quote: Ditch 'Em… and let Og sort 'em out… ---
**Author:** ![stillownedbysetters](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/41988e/32.png) [@stillownedbysetters](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stillownedbysetters)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2017, 10:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/uncomfortable-situation-stay-or-go/786371/18 "2017-05-11T22:50:56Z")
One of my professional skills is negotiation/arbitration. I would try to help diffuse the situation unless it had gotten to the point of physical blows. ---
**Author:** ![Oredigger77](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/oredigger77/32/3181_2.png) [@Oredigger77](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oredigger77)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2017, 11:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/uncomfortable-situation-stay-or-go/786371/19 "2017-05-11T23:01:16Z")
I’d try to get closer so i didn’t miss any of the show. The less i know people the more their drama entertains me. I might get bored and either mst3k it or try and provoke a fight I’ve done both with bar fights which sometimes gets me into the fight. ---
**Author:** ![TruCelt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/trucelt/32/523_2.png) [@TruCelt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruCelt)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2017, 11:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/uncomfortable-situation-stay-or-go/786371/20 "2017-05-11T23:30:58Z")
I’m trained in deescalation techniques, and self defense. And most of you seem to be ignoring the fact that in order to leave you have to get closer to the conflict - in fact, get past and maybe even through it. So yeah, the sooner somebody intervenes the greater the likelihood of a positive, or at least neutral outcome. And the moment I start trying to help I will also be maneuvering myself to the other side of the group, so that if I fail I can get out of there. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/uncomfortable-situation-stay-or-go/786371.md?page=2)