# Uncomfortable situation: stay or go? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [May 11, 2017, 5:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/uncomfortable-situation-stay-or-go/786371 "2017-05-11T17:15:54Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 19\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Rysto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ecccb3/32.png) [@Rysto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rysto)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2017, 11:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/uncomfortable-situation-stay-or-go/786371/21 "2017-05-11T23:31:50Z")
I excuse myself and go to the bathroom to get the hell out of there temporarily. If the argument continues, I’m definitely gone post-haste. ---
**Author:** ![Quartz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quartz/32/267_2.png) [@Quartz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quartz)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2017, 11:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/uncomfortable-situation-stay-or-go/786371/22 "2017-05-11T23:42:52Z")
> [@TruCelt](#): > > I’m trained in deescalation techniques, and self defense. And most of you seem to be ignoring the fact that in order to leave you have to get closer to the conflict - in fact, get past and maybe even through it. Well, it’s not yet got to the point of actual conflict, so now’s the time to get past them. ---
**Author:** ![snfaulkner](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snfaulkner/32/433_2.png) [@snfaulkner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/snfaulkner)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2017, 11:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/uncomfortable-situation-stay-or-go/786371/23 "2017-05-11T23:55:22Z")
If there’s not an open bar, I probably wouldn’t have been there to begin with. ---
**Author:** ![48Willys](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/4/db5fbb/32.png) [@48Willys](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/48Willys)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2017, 7:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/uncomfortable-situation-stay-or-go/786371/24 "2017-05-12T07:33:14Z")
Let me get this straight. I am in a room with 10 or more people that I do not know well & I have not found an excuse to leave already? I must be sick. I am trapped away from an exit? I am very sick & not thinking clearly! In that case, it depends on how much I care about these folks. If they are not people whose opinions I care about, (and that includes most of the world’s population), I will bull my way through the crowd, fire up my bike & leave. I have no desire to be subject to frivolous drama. I have had more than enough of that B.S. in my life so far. If I care about their opinions, I know them well. They would not engage in this type of conduct. They have more class than to do this. Besides, tonight tired as I am, I can only think of seven or eight people who fit this category. Reviewing this post, If I am rested & more patient with folks than I am now, I would probably make excuses & split ASAP. For the same reasons. Life is too short for me to put up with this crap. PS. If there is an open bar, I am gone. Dealing with drunks is high on my list of things that I choose not to do. Again, I have had too much of that in my life so far. ---
**Author:** ![gnoitall](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/bb73d2/32.png) [@gnoitall](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gnoitall)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2017, 3:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/uncomfortable-situation-stay-or-go/786371/25 "2017-05-12T15:50:49Z")
I have altered the hypothetical. Pray I do not alter it again.😃 > [@48Willys](#): > > Let me get this straight. I am in a room with 10 or more people that I do not know well & I have not found an excuse to leave already? I must be sick. Yes, you are. That’s why you’re in the waiting room at the hospital. > [@](#): > > I am trapped away from an exit? I am very sick & not thinking clearly! The arguers came into the waiting room after you. At best, they’re in the seats on the opposite side of the door from where you’re sitting. Very prudently sitting in the seats right by the door, but they are too, so (imprudently) you’re also the one in the room closest to the arguers. Funny how cautious decisions sometimes rebound on you, innit? > [@](#): > > In that case, it depends on how much I care about these folks. > > If they are not people whose opinions I care about, (and that includes most of the world’s population), I will bull my way through the crowd, fire up my bike & leave. I have no desire to be subject to frivolous drama. I have had more than enough of that B.S. in my life so far. I suppose you can find your medical care anywhere else… maybe. > [@](#): > > Life is too short for me to put up with this crap. Life is too short for anyone to continuously (and futilely) flee ubiquitous crap. Life IS crap, with the rare and fleeting exception. ---
**Author:** ![TruCelt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/trucelt/32/523_2.png) [@TruCelt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruCelt)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2017, 3:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/uncomfortable-situation-stay-or-go/786371/26 "2017-05-12T15:59:53Z")
> [@Quartz](#): > > Well, it’s not yet got to the point of actual conflict, so now’s the time to get past them. “an increasingly intense argument” = conflict. There is not yet violence, if that’s what you mean, and I will help steer the situation clear of that if I can. > [@gnoitall](#): > > . . . > Life is too short for anyone to continuously (and futilely) flee ubiquitous crap. Life IS crap, with the rare and fleeting exception. This is my philosophy; gnoitall has stated it better than I have ever managed to do. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2017, 4:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/uncomfortable-situation-stay-or-go/786371/27 "2017-05-12T16:01:10Z")
Depends on my mood. I might ghost on outa there, I might throw some gasoline on the flames, or maybe something else, who knows. ---
**Author:** ![Doctor\_Jackson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doctor_jackson/32/32_2.png) [@Doctor\_Jackson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doctor_Jackson)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2017, 7:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/uncomfortable-situation-stay-or-go/786371/28 "2017-05-12T19:58:23Z")
> [@gnoitall](#): > > …you’re in the waiting room at the hospital. There goes the open bar option. ---
**Author:** ![Lowdown](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c57346/32.png) [@Lowdown](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lowdown)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2017, 8:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/uncomfortable-situation-stay-or-go/786371/29 "2017-05-12T20:00:22Z")
Depends on if there’s any reason for me to stay, like an open bar. Whatever is happening over there is not my problem, and unlikely to become my problem. At least it’ll give everyone else something to talk about besides the weather, work, or their kids. ---
**Author:** ![Sunny\_Daze](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunny_daze/32/438_2.png) [@Sunny\_Daze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunny_Daze)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2017, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/uncomfortable-situation-stay-or-go/786371/30 "2017-05-12T20:15:19Z")
Well, now that we’re in a hospital waiting room, I notify the person at the desk to call security (who might already be there, depending on the hospital) and let them sort it out. ---
**Author:** ![John\_Mace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_mace/32/185_2.png) [@John\_Mace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Mace)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2017, 8:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/uncomfortable-situation-stay-or-go/786371/31 "2017-05-12T20:31:40Z")
This thread is just screaming for some [background music.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BN1WwnEDWAM&ab_channel=theclashVEVO) But the poll needs another option. Grab your cell phone, pretend to have received a very urgent call as you talk into it, and keep your head down, exiting as quickly as possible. ---
**Author:** ![chizzuk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e36b37/32.png) [@chizzuk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chizzuk)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2017, 9:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/uncomfortable-situation-stay-or-go/786371/32 "2017-05-12T21:00:48Z")
I have a really difficult time dealing with any sort of angry verbal confrontation, even if I’m not directly involved. I start to feel slightly panicky and like I might cry, and I have an overwhelming urge to leave the area immediately. Even if it hasn’t really gotten going yet, as the tension in the room rises, so does my urge to flee. So I would almost certainly be making a polite but hasty exit. ---
**Author:** ![amarinth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3be4f8/32.png) [@amarinth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/amarinth)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2017, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/uncomfortable-situation-stay-or-go/786371/33 "2017-05-12T21:09:07Z")
If I’m worried about it escalating into a physical altercation - I’ll probably get out of there. If I think it’ll just escalate to a giant social/emotional disaster… I’ll probably stick around to watch while pretending not to do so and feeling ashamed of myself. ---
**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2017, 4:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/uncomfortable-situation-stay-or-go/786371/34 "2017-05-13T04:06:48Z")
> [@DCnDC](#): > > You could help diffuse the situation, or maybe you’d rather just leave it alone… I could also make it worse; and so could everyone else. I’m starting a slow fade out. ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2017, 4:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/uncomfortable-situation-stay-or-go/786371/35 "2017-05-13T04:41:34Z")
It really depends. If I think it is going to get messy, then it is time to visit the bathroom. Or kitchen. Or back hall. I’m sure I won’t be alone. Might even be interesting conversations there. If it was my house, I’d walk over, smile and say “Hi”, then “HEY!” followed by “Done here. Please. Done. Opposites of the room right now.” ---
**Author:** ![RivkahChaya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rivkahchaya/32/8919_2.png) [@RivkahChaya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RivkahChaya)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2017, 4:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/uncomfortable-situation-stay-or-go/786371/36 "2017-05-13T04:44:04Z")
If the host is ignoring the situation, I might inquire why, and if it seems that these people get loud a lot, but never escalate, and the party is big enough to put lots of people between us, and (this is key) I was having a good time up until that point, I’d ignore them. If the host is mortified, but doesn’t know what to do, and it’s a medium-to-small party that looks like it’s going to be ruined, I’m not above shouting “HEY! Take it outside!” If I’ve been looking for an excuse to leave, I just found it. ---
**Author:** ![48Willys](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/4/db5fbb/32.png) [@48Willys](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/48Willys)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2017, 6:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/uncomfortable-situation-stay-or-go/786371/37 "2017-05-18T18:40:33Z")
> [@gnoitall](#): > > I have altered the hypothetical. Pray I do not alter it again.:DYes, you are. That’s why you’re in the waiting room at the hospital.The arguers came into the waiting room after you. At best, they’re in the seats on the opposite side of the door from where you’re sitting. Very prudently sitting in the seats right by the door, but they are too, so (imprudently) you’re also the one in the room closest to the arguers. > > Funny how cautious decisions sometimes rebound on you, innit?I suppose you can find your medical care anywhere else… maybe.Life is too short for anyone to continuously (and futilely) flee ubiquitous crap. **Life IS crap, with the rare and fleeting exception.** Bolding mine. I am sorry that your life is full of these kind of situations. Mine is not. It was in the past. I have found ways to avoid them. One of the ways I avoid these situations is to avoid parties as much as practical. I also avoid any venue that has alcohol as one of its main attractions. I have been in way too many bar fights while getting my brother & his friends out of the bar. I was the DD with a twist. They called me when they wanted to leave the bar & they were too tipsy to drive. I would come in with a Carryall & pick them up. I would then take them all home to my brother’s house, where they would sleep it off. Sometimes some of the patrons objected to me removing the one who was “buying rounds for everyone”. IMHO, This is hard to do when you are passed out drunk. I was, in effect, cutting off the free drinks. Some folks took offense to that. Getting out of there while carrying a grown man was often a trick. Doing it up to five times was “eventful”. It helps that I am a big, ugly, “Biker looking” dude. IME, Hospitals deal with these situations quite well. I would leave this one up to them. ---
**Author:** ![Whatever4](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f04885/32.png) [@Whatever4](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Whatever4)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2017, 4:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/uncomfortable-situation-stay-or-go/786371/38 "2017-05-19T04:01:24Z")
> [@MoonMoon](#): > > Chances are close to 100% that I didn’t want to be there in the first place, so at the first sign of something uncomfortable, I’m outta there. Be careful when exiting. I just might run you down and never look back.:rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Barkis\_is\_Willin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/a183cd/32.png) [@Barkis\_is\_Willin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Barkis_is_Willin)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2017, 2:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/uncomfortable-situation-stay-or-go/786371/39 "2017-05-19T14:31:41Z")
The best kind of drama is that which doesn’t involve me. So yeah, I’ll stick around for the show. Maybe even give my input, but only if asked. What will probably end up happening is all of us not involved, while only acquaintances now, will have a cool story to reminisce about when we see each other next time. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/uncomfortable-situation-stay-or-go/786371.md?page=1)