# Underage sex, is it rape? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [January 17, 2022, 7:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/underage-sex-is-it-rape/957944 "2022-01-17T19:21:26Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 13\ **Page:** 9
**Author:** ![MrDibble](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mrdibble/32/114_2.png) [@MrDibble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrDibble)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2022, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/underage-sex-is-it-rape/957944/161 "2022-01-20T20:44:01Z")
> [@Esprise\_Me](#): > > Legal adulthood is a social construct. Agreed. It just so happens to also line up with my personal line. (in those places where it’s 18) > [@Esprise\_Me](#): > > Why do you think 18 is an appropriate place to draw this arbitrary hard line, and no one else could possibly have a different, valid take? People are free to have their own takes. The validity of their takes is hardly my concern, unless they’re pushing for something truly odious. > [@Moriarty](#): > > There’s no magic transformation that transforms somebody from a “kiddy” to an “adult” on their 18th birthday. No, but there has to be a line, and that’s where I consider it appropriate to set it. > [@Novelty\_Bobble](#): > > And just to be clear, I’m not _wanting_ adults to have sex with children. Unless it’s “healthy”… > [@Ann\_Hedonia](#): > > Wait what………are you progressive? Can’t think of many more progressive things than wanting to eliminate rape culture from the world, myself. > [@Ann\_Hedonia](#): > > your zero tolerance attitude I said I was fine with reasonable R&J exceptions. That’s hardly “zero tolerance”. > [@Ann\_Hedonia](#): > > rabid insistence “Rabid”? I’m not the one swearing and being shocked, _shocked_, _SHOCKED_!. > [@Ann\_Hedonia](#): > > you were probably some sort of ultra-conservative religious fundamentalist Ha ha. > [@Ann\_Hedonia](#): > > never seen the idea that rape is worse than murder promoted by anyone other than religious fundamentalists And now you have. Consider it your lucky day. > [@Ann\_Hedonia](#): > > sexual defilement is literally worse than death. Well, since that has nothing to do with my stance, it’s hardly relevant. ---
**Author:** ![Richard\_Pearse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/richard_pearse/32/13144_2.png) [@Richard\_Pearse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Richard_Pearse)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2022, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/underage-sex-is-it-rape/957944/162 "2022-01-20T20:55:54Z")
> [@MrDibble](#): > > Even “they held a gun to my head” is IMHO no excuse - they should have taken the bullet. You obviously have a deep emotional investment in this topic. In this thread you’ve literally said you are better to be a murderer than a rapist also implying that one is better having been murdered than raped (because rape is worse than murder). And here you suggest that someone should take a bullet to the head rather than be forced to rape someone. Which implies that being murdered is better than being a rapist and also overlooks the fact that in this scenario it’s actually the person with the gun who is the rapist, the one with a gun to the head is as much a victim as whoever is about to get physically raped. What if it is a couple who would normally have regular sex but someone breaks into their house and forces one of them to rape the other? Is that still no excuse? None of this is rational. Do you see that? ---
**Author:** ![Esprise\_Me](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/esprise_me/32/2947_2.png) [@Esprise\_Me](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esprise_Me)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2022, 8:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/underage-sex-is-it-rape/957944/163 "2022-01-20T20:59:27Z")
You are choosing to engage in this debate by repeatedly posting contrary responses. You don’t get to do that and also fall back on “I don’t have to explain my views to you.” ---
**Author:** ![Novelty\_Bobble](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Novelty\_Bobble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Novelty_Bobble)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2022, 9:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/underage-sex-is-it-rape/957944/164 "2022-01-20T21:23:44Z")
> [@MrDibble](#): > > Unless it’s “healthy”… I believe it is possible for a 16 year old to have a positive, supportive and “healthy” sexual relationship with a 19 year old. I also believe it is also possible for such a relationship to be coercive, unequal and damaging. ---
**Author:** ![lobotomyboy63](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobotomyboy63/32/2900_2.png) [@lobotomyboy63](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lobotomyboy63)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2022, 2:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/underage-sex-is-it-rape/957944/165 "2022-01-21T02:01:28Z")
> [@Princhester](#): > > I’m sure you know what I mean I do now. ---
**Author:** ![MrDibble](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mrdibble/32/114_2.png) [@MrDibble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrDibble)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2022, 4:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/underage-sex-is-it-rape/957944/166 "2022-01-21T04:10:35Z")
> [@Esprise\_Me](#): > > You are choosing to engage in this debate by repeatedly posting contrary responses. What" debate"? I’m giving my opinions, like I was _directly_ asked to do. That they are “contrary” to what rape culture accepts is none of my concern. > [@Esprise\_Me](#): > > You don’t get to do that and also fall back on “I don’t have to explain my views to you.” Yes, I do. ---
**Author:** ![MrDibble](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mrdibble/32/114_2.png) [@MrDibble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrDibble)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2022, 4:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/underage-sex-is-it-rape/957944/167 "2022-01-21T04:45:44Z")
> [@Richard\_Pearse](#): > > You obviously have a deep emotional investment in this topic _Argumentum ad hominem_ > [@Richard\_Pearse](#): > > In this thread you’ve literally said you are better to be a murderer than a rapist I _literally_ have not. > [@Richard\_Pearse](#): > > implying that one is better having been murdered than raped I’ve _explicitly_ disavowed that interpretation > [@Richard\_Pearse](#): > > because rape is worse than murder Rape, as a phenomenon, _is_ worse than murder, as a phenomenon. > [@Richard\_Pearse](#): > > And here you suggest that someone should take a bullet to the head rather than be forced to rape someone. I do more than suggest it. I outright say it. > [@Richard\_Pearse](#): > > Which implies that being murdered is better than being a rapist It is. > [@Richard\_Pearse](#): > > also overlooks the fact that in this scenario it’s actually the person with the gun who is the rapist No. They are guilty of a separate crime. In my jurisdiction, it’s called “compelled rape”. > [@Richard\_Pearse](#): > > the one with a gun to the head is as much a victim as whoever is about to get physically raped. Sure, they’re a victim. I’m certainly not saying they would be _convicted_ as a rapist. I’m saying what I think they should do in the circumstances. > [@Richard\_Pearse](#): > > What if it is a couple who would normally have regular sex but someone breaks into their house and forces one of them to rape the other? Is that still no excuse? Is it not rape if they would normally have sex but _one of them_ compels the other to have sex? > [@Richard\_Pearse](#): > > None of this is rational. You’re implying I didn’t come by my opinions based on any reasoning. What on earth makes you think that? Just because you don’t have the same foundational beliefs as me, doesn’t mean they’re purely emotional responses (not that there’s anything wrong with emotional responses) The foundations of my stance are simple: Rape is a _far_ worse plague on our world than murder. Everything possible should be done to eliminate rape culture. Lenient sentencing for rapists doesn’t work. Children can’t meaningfully consent. It’s better to die than be a rapist (which is _not_ the same as it’s better to die than be raped, which I again explicitly disavow). FYI, it’s also better to die than be a murderer. Or _any_ kind of killer, read any of my old posts on pacifism and self defence. Argue against those if you like, but drop the _ad hominem_ “not rational” [bullshit](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bullshit#Harry_Frankfurt's_concept). ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2022, 4:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/underage-sex-is-it-rape/957944/168 "2022-01-21T04:53:14Z")
> [@MrDibble](#): > > Argue against those if you like, but drop the _ad hominem_ “not rational” [bullshit](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bullshit#Harry_Frankfurt's_concept). As a child I had to choose between rape and death, and I chose rape because I considered death to be worse. Am I arguing in favor of this supposed “rape culture”? ---
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2022, 4:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/underage-sex-is-it-rape/957944/169 "2022-01-21T04:54:12Z")
You dared to disagree, didn’t you? ---
**Author:** ![MrDibble](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mrdibble/32/114_2.png) [@MrDibble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrDibble)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2022, 4:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/underage-sex-is-it-rape/957944/170 "2022-01-21T04:54:19Z")
You had to choose between _raping_ someone, or dying? ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2022, 4:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/underage-sex-is-it-rape/957944/171 "2022-01-21T04:55:09Z")
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**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2022, 4:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/underage-sex-is-it-rape/957944/172 "2022-01-21T04:57:37Z")
**Modnote** : This thread is being reviewed. It will be closed until tomorrow. I will be requesting it stays closed. **Update** **MrDibble** your last post is still being reviewed. But nothing decided yet. This thread is going to remain closed. ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2022, 6:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/underage-sex-is-it-rape/957944/173 "2022-01-21T18:20:46Z")
**Modnote** : @MrDibble, suggestions that posters that that disagreed with you are advocates of rape culture is not appropriate to SDMB discussions. Please refrain from this in the future. No warning issued after much discussion. * * * * * * I would like to add that I am sorry about the traumatic experience you had as a child. Jim [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/underage-sex-is-it-rape/957944.md?page=8)