# Unformatted Fortune Cookies? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 12, 2006, 5:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unformatted-fortune-cookies/348022 "2006-03-12T05:14:54Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Monstre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e274bd/32.png) [@Monstre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monstre)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2006, 5:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unformatted-fortune-cookies/348022/1 "2006-03-12T05:14:54Z")
I was talking online with a friend just now, who told me that she ate at a Chinese restaurant this evening and got the worst fortune ever in her fortune cookie. She said she kept it – and swears to me that this was the text: **"Fortune Not Found: Abort, Retry, Ignore?"** So, are the writers of fortune cookies seriously running out of ideas, or is Bill Gates importing illegal overseas labor now? Anybody else get a weird fortune cookie message they’d like to share? Or any messages that you think should BE on a fortune? ---
**Author:** ![JThunder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e95f7d/32.png) [@JThunder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JThunder)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2006, 5:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unformatted-fortune-cookies/348022/2 "2006-03-12T05:22:37Z")
Oh my gosh. That’s one of the best cookie fortunes ever! ---
**Author:** ![RandMcnally](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b782af/32.png) [@RandMcnally](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RandMcnally)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2006, 7:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unformatted-fortune-cookies/348022/3 "2006-03-12T07:20:46Z")
My favorite fortune was shown on a “Rocko’s Modern Life.” Filburt kept getting the fortune: Bad luck and misfortunre will infest your pathetic little life for all eternity. I’d love to get that. ---
**Author:** ![Marlitharn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/779978/32.png) [@Marlitharn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marlitharn)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2006, 7:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unformatted-fortune-cookies/348022/4 "2006-03-12T07:58:37Z")
“Fortune Not Found: Abort, Retry, Ignore?”…in bed. Hmmm. Nope. Doesn’t work. ---
**Author:** ![Cub\_Mistress](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ea666f/32.png) [@Cub\_Mistress](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cub_Mistress)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2006, 2:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unformatted-fortune-cookies/348022/5 "2006-03-12T14:40:36Z")
I keep hoping to get the Alan King classic: Help, I’m a prisoner in a Chinese bakery! ---
**Author:** ![chrisk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/6de8d8/32.png) [@chrisk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chrisk)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2006, 2:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unformatted-fortune-cookies/348022/6 "2006-03-12T14:53:55Z")
“Nothing interesting or worth mentioning will happen to you. Ever.” ---
**Author:** ![control-z](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/eada6e/32.png) [@control-z](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/control-z)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2006, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unformatted-fortune-cookies/348022/7 "2006-03-12T18:47:21Z")
I got one that says “You are the greatest person in the world”. I still have it, in case I need to prove that I am indeed the greatest person in the world. ---
**Author:** ![LucyInDisguise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lucyindisguise/32/18064_2.png) [@LucyInDisguise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LucyInDisguise)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2006, 6:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unformatted-fortune-cookies/348022/8 "2006-03-12T18:59:29Z")
From fortune cookies we got at the local chinese buffet here in Elko, NV, last night: Mine: “Salary go increase hope springs eternally today” Wife’s: “Friends of family’s do righteous upwellings soon” The cookies are the best I’ve ever had (made ‘in house’) but the fortunes sound like junk from a random phrase generator - none of them ever make any sense at all. We’re kinda used to it, but it’s a real scream to watch tourists open their fortune cookies at this place - some of the most precious bewildered looks you’ll ever see! Lucy ---
**Author:** ![jakeline](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/a8b319/32.png) [@jakeline](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jakeline)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2006, 9:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unformatted-fortune-cookies/348022/9 "2006-03-12T21:28:30Z")
This wasn’t me, but I did actually see it. My sister got the following fortune: “Try another fortune cookie.” ---
**Author:** ![Only\_Mostly\_Dead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/f19dbf/32.png) [@Only\_Mostly\_Dead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Only_Mostly_Dead)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2006, 9:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unformatted-fortune-cookies/348022/10 "2006-03-12T21:33:40Z")
Taped to my monitor right now: **Promote literacy. Buy a box of fortune cookies today.** ---
**Author:** ![Plynck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3e96dc/32.png) [@Plynck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Plynck)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2006, 10:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unformatted-fortune-cookies/348022/11 "2006-03-12T22:35:23Z")
_“That wasn’t really chicken.”_ ---
**Author:** ![Raguleader](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/258eb7/32.png) [@Raguleader](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Raguleader)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2006, 4:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unformatted-fortune-cookies/348022/12 "2006-03-13T04:10:09Z")
“You have unusual equipment for success, use it properly.” A real fortune cookie, which I keep in my wallet 😃 ---
**Author:** ![AntaresJB](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c2a13f/32.png) [@AntaresJB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AntaresJB)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2006, 4:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unformatted-fortune-cookies/348022/13 "2006-03-13T04:43:36Z")
The best one I ever got was “Alas! The onion you are eating is someone else’s water lily.” I wish I’d saved it. ---
**Author:** ![iwakura43](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de0a6/32.png) [@iwakura43](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iwakura43)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2006, 4:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unformatted-fortune-cookies/348022/14 "2006-03-13T04:59:47Z")
Heh. My friend Ed got the “Fortune Not Found: Abort, Retry, Ignore?” one at lunch about a week and a half ago. We thought it was pretty funny. ---
**Author:** ![DrMemory](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/977dab/32.png) [@DrMemory](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrMemory)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2006, 11:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unformatted-fortune-cookies/348022/15 "2006-03-13T11:42:51Z")
“Life is what happens, while you’re busy making other plans”. Fortune cookie that quotes John Lennon 🙂 Have it my wallet, still. ---
**Author:** ![Harborwolf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c89c15/32.png) [@Harborwolf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harborwolf)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2006, 11:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unformatted-fortune-cookies/348022/16 "2006-03-13T11:58:11Z")
The strangest fortune I ever got from a cookie was none at all. I got an empty cookie. I don’t know what it means, but I don’t think it meant something good. ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2006, 1:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unformatted-fortune-cookies/348022/17 "2006-03-13T13:41:40Z")
I gave a list of these quite a while ago. My suggestoions: \*\*Inspected by Numer 43 You will be…(Cont’d on next cookie) Silica Gel … Do not eat You have just pulled the pin on an organic grenade Ingredients: Flour, sugar, corn starch, vanillin BHT to preserve freshness Earn Big Money in Fortune Cookie Writing! Do Not Remove Under Penalty of Law Good Morning Mr. Phelps… AT&T 42.2…GSM 35.8…IBM 5.0… Hershey’s Hershey’s Hershey’s Smert Shpionem, Mr. Bond \*\* ---
**Author:** ![RumMunkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b19c9b/32.png) [@RumMunkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RumMunkey)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2006, 1:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unformatted-fortune-cookies/348022/18 "2006-03-13T13:44:47Z")
I got an awesome one once: True love awaits you. Far East Fortune Cookie Co. (416) 555-1234 … I was \*so \*tempted to call. ---
**Author:** ![LilyoftheValley](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/54ee81/32.png) [@LilyoftheValley](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LilyoftheValley)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2006, 3:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unformatted-fortune-cookies/348022/19 "2006-03-13T15:56:27Z")
I swear that I win the weird fortune prize. I got this one as a child, and it hung on our refrigerator for years… **Only you know the true whereabouts of Yma Sumac.** Of course, being a child I was 😕😕 . Even now, as an adult, I’m still rather 😕 to think about it. ---
**Author:** ![Sean\_Factotum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/50afbb/32.png) [@Sean\_Factotum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sean_Factotum)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2006, 4:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unformatted-fortune-cookies/348022/20 "2006-03-13T16:22:23Z")
I have had two that just annoyed the hell out of me. (Both dutifully reported in that weeks’ MMP) “Ignore previous fortune.” - and - “Imagine what you will be remembering in ten years.” Are hallucionegic chemicals used in fortune cookie factories? [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unformatted-fortune-cookies/348022.md?page=2)