# Unfortunate names of real people **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 8, 2011, 7:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unfortunate-names-of-real-people/577705 "2011-04-08T19:47:23Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 14
**Author:** ![eclectic\_wench](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ac91a4/32.png) [@eclectic\_wench](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eclectic_wench)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2015, 1:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unfortunate-names-of-real-people/577705/262 "2015-07-21T13:14:50Z")
> [@Ruffian](#): > > I was in the classroom for 17 years, so I saw some doozies: Lenger, Nemesis, Nimsi, Ehgmma (pronounced edge-ma), Lyndon Johnson II (seriously, that was his name), and my favorite, Lucky Seven. The second. > > Oh, and through my own kids, I know an Anakin and a kid whose first name is Jedi…last name is Masters. JEDI. MASTERS. > > I also knew a family that named their kids after musical terms–Cadence (okay, that works), Allegra (um…), and Adagio. Ummmm…adagio means SLOW. A synonym for it is ritardo. You really want to name your kid _that_? Allegra is a totally normal name in Italy. I love ‘Nemesis’. I like the potential for shouting ‘NEEEEMEEESIIIIIIIIS!!!’ out over the neighbourhood when you want your kid to come in for dinner. ---
**Author:** ![Cartoonacy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/848f3c/32.png) [@Cartoonacy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cartoonacy)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2015, 10:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unfortunate-names-of-real-people/577705/263 "2015-07-22T22:22:47Z")
> [@raijinshuu](#): > > I know a set of twins, Noemi and Zora. Not unfortunate like some of the names in this thread, but everyone calls Noemi “Naomi” and everyone calls Zora Zozo, which just sounds unfortunate. What were their parents thinking? I never heard the name “Noemi” before this year, but in the past few months I’ve met two, and seen the name on a Coke bottle. At first I thought it was an alternate spelling of “Naomi.” It’s a nice name, but what is its origin? ---
**Author:** ![Fear\_Itself](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fear_itself/32/19637_2.png) [@Fear\_Itself](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fear_Itself)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2015, 10:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unfortunate-names-of-real-people/577705/264 "2015-07-22T22:27:05Z")
> [@Cartoonacy](#): > > I never heard the name “Noemi” before this year, but in the past few months I’ve met two, and seen the name on a Coke bottle. At first I thought it was an alternate spelling of “Naomi.” It’s a nice name, but what is its origin? [According to Wikipedia](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Naomi_(given_name)), “Noemi” is a variant of “Naomi” in Czech, Dutch, German, Italian, Polish, Portuguese, Spanish and Tagalog ---
**Author:** ![Agent\_Foxtrot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9fc29f/32.png) [@Agent\_Foxtrot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Agent_Foxtrot)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2015, 11:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unfortunate-names-of-real-people/577705/265 "2015-07-22T23:18:18Z")
I used to work with a guy named Paul Ricks. His email address? pricks@… He had a sense of humor and loved his email address. ---
**Author:** ![P-man](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/p-man/32/3606_2.png) [@P-man](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/P-man)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2015, 1:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unfortunate-names-of-real-people/577705/266 "2015-07-23T01:42:29Z")
> [@Fear\_Itself](#): > > [According to Wikipedia](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Naomi_(given_name)), “Noemi” is a variant of “Naomi” in Czech, Dutch, German, Italian, Polish, Portuguese, Spanish and Tagalog A couple of years ago there was a class in the school where I work with both a Noemi and a Naomi. It was hard not to get the two mixed up. A few years ago we saw a couple of people holding up signs for a candidate named Titman. ---
**Author:** ![Hilarity\_N.Suze](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hilarity_n.suze/32/6223_2.png) [@Hilarity\_N.Suze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hilarity_N.Suze)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2015, 3:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unfortunate-names-of-real-people/577705/267 "2015-07-23T03:26:45Z")
What’s wrong with Allegra? As nearly as I can tell it was popular twice in the last few decades. In the '50s, and then again in the mid-'80s. I think it’s a nice name. Means “Happy.” (I always liked it in the poem, I think it was by Longfellow [hee-hee, long fellow!], “grave Edith, laughing Allegra, and Alice with golden hair.”\* Now a little disclaimer, I don’t particularly care what people name their children (well nothing obscene, okay), and some of my children have names that other people think are odd. Okay, here goes. There is a woman my husband used to work with who would really spew about celebrity kids’ names. She really hated Blue Ivy and North West and absolutely frothed at the mouth at Apple. Her name was Destyni. She named her daughter Neveah, which she said was Heaven backwards–well, er, not quite. She also had fits when people mispronounced her own name and her daughter’s. She had a son and another daughter, they both had kind of odd names too, but not as memorable. Obviously not as heinous as Apple, etc. Actually there are going to be a lot of Neveahs/Nevaehs. I think a whole crop of them are becoming teenagers about now. So I guess it doesn’t qualify as an unusual name. I used to have this book on baby care. The author devoted some time to bad names, and one name she gave as an example was Joyce Seacat. On the acknowledgments page one of the people she thanked was Joyce Seacat. \*Or maybe Alice was grave and Edith had golden hair–but Allegra was definitely laughing. ---
**Author:** ![SeniorCitizen007](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8baadc/32.png) [@SeniorCitizen007](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SeniorCitizen007)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2015, 5:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unfortunate-names-of-real-people/577705/268 "2015-07-23T17:10:32Z")
I’m distantly related to LILITH DEATH ---
**Author:** ![BurnMeUp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/91b2a8/32.png) [@BurnMeUp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BurnMeUp)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2015, 10:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unfortunate-names-of-real-people/577705/269 "2015-07-23T22:21:48Z")
In the last week i have met a Henrietta Poon (who sounds like an Adult Harry Potter character) and read about a Hans Assman. ---
**Author:** ![Mange1955](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c0e974/32.png) [@Mange1955](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mange1955)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2015, 9:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unfortunate-names-of-real-people/577705/270 "2015-07-25T21:15:57Z")
I know this is a relatively old thread, but one that I was reminded of: the German skiier, Fanny Chmelar. [![](https://img.youtube.com/vi/nmwGFX5pgXw/hqdefault.jpg "Bradley Walsh Cant Stop Laughing During The Chase | Fanny Chmelar question (17/10/11)") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nmwGFX5pgXw) ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2016, 2:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unfortunate-names-of-real-people/577705/271 "2016-08-25T14:52:44Z")
This is a bit of a zombie, but I ran across an odd name this past week. I was doing some genealogy research for my nephew’s wife, whose roots are in the American south. One family name is Butts, which is somewhat unfortunate in itself, but her ancestor was one Rhoda Lucky Butts, which makes me smile. She wouldn’t survive in today’s social media shaming. ---
**Author:** ![EinsteinsHund](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/einsteinshund/32/8400_2.png) [@EinsteinsHund](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EinsteinsHund)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2016, 10:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unfortunate-names-of-real-people/577705/272 "2016-08-25T22:29:32Z")
> [@IfItComesUp6](#): > > My Grandmother went to school with a girl called Fanny Drips. In Australia Fanny is not a word for bum but rather another of the many names for female genitalia. > > My Brother went to school with a Shawn Dick. Some years ago, the [Brits had much fun](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=teNgQTrv6pE) with the German ski racer Fanny Chmelar. ---
**Author:** ![quiltguy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/e47774/32.png) [@quiltguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/quiltguy)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2016, 4:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unfortunate-names-of-real-people/577705/273 "2016-08-26T16:26:35Z")
When I was a medic in the service, we had several people on staff with unusual/unfortunate/prophetic(?) names: -Dr. Marvel, a 1st Lieutenant. We were all awaiting the day he got promoted to Captain. -Dr. Goldwasser was, say it with me, the Chief Urologist. -Dr. Denton was, care to guess? Yep, a pediatrician. Wasn’t there a Texas politician in the 90’s(?) named Dick Army? ---
**Author:** ![JKellyMap](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jkellymap/32/15880_2.png) [@JKellyMap](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JKellyMap)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2016, 4:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unfortunate-names-of-real-people/577705/274 "2016-08-26T16:56:17Z")
> [@quiltguy](#): > > Wasn’t there a Texas politician in the 90’s(?) named Dick Army? Armey, yes. I believe he was voted second in a poll of manliest names (after Magnus Magnusson). ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2016, 5:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unfortunate-names-of-real-people/577705/275 "2016-08-26T17:23:57Z")
> [@JKellyMap](#): > > Armey, yes. I believe he was voted second in a poll of manliest names (after Magnus Magnusson). Mmmm…Magnus Magnusson… _sigh_ ---
**Author:** ![Chihuahua](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dec6dc/32.png) [@Chihuahua](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chihuahua)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2016, 12:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unfortunate-names-of-real-people/577705/276 "2016-08-27T12:15:11Z")
My wife met a child named Clarice Starling. ---
**Author:** ![stillownedbysetters](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/41988e/32.png) [@stillownedbysetters](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stillownedbysetters)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2016, 3:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unfortunate-names-of-real-people/577705/277 "2016-08-27T15:19:15Z")
A Sunday school classmate had the unfortunate name of Andy Fuchs. The family pronounced it as Fox, but as you can imagine, no one in his age group did. An elementary classmate was named Harry Chassis. Appropriate name, actually. As he reached puberty, he sprouted a lot of body hair. My elementary gym teacher was Lucy Ramsbottom. My oral surgeon was Don Toothaker. He joked that he really had no other career choice open to him. My hubs and I bought our first home with a real estate agent named Mary House. ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2016, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unfortunate-names-of-real-people/577705/278 "2016-08-27T19:33:26Z")
> [@stillownedbysetters](#): > > A Sunday school classmate had the unfortunate name of Andy Fuchs. The family pronounced it as Fox, but as you can imagine, no one in his age group did. > > An elementary classmate was named Harry Chassis. Appropriate name, actually. As he reached puberty, he sprouted a lot of body hair. > > My elementary gym teacher was Lucy Ramsbottom. > > My oral surgeon was Don Toothaker. He joked that he really had no other career choice open to him. > > My hubs and I bought our first home with a real estate agent named Mary House. Since _Fuchs_ really is German for Fox, I’d think someone would have had it legally changed by now. Although I have met someone whose last name was Bottom, and she even got the surname by marrying Mr. Bottom. She must have really loved him. ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2016, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unfortunate-names-of-real-people/577705/279 "2016-08-27T19:50:57Z")
> [@Siam\_Sam](#): > > Although I have met someone whose last name was Bottom, and she even got the surname by marrying Mr. Bottom. She must have really loved him. [River Phoenix’s](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/River_Phoenix) birth name was River Bottom. ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2016, 7:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unfortunate-names-of-real-people/577705/280 "2016-08-27T19:54:53Z")
> [@buddha\_david](#): > > [River Phoenix’s](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/River_Phoenix) birth name was River Bottom. And he and his siblings all had the good sense to change their surname. ---
**Author:** ![Kropotkin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kropotkin/32/18045_2.png) [@Kropotkin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kropotkin)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2016, 11:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unfortunate-names-of-real-people/577705/281 "2016-08-28T23:02:27Z")
NYT obit for Dick Assman here: [Dick Assman, Briefly a ‘Late Show’ Celebrity, Dies at 82 - The New York Times](http://www.nytimes.com/2016/08/20/arts/television/dick-assman-briefly-a-late-show-celebrity-dies-at-82.html?_r=0) For a couple of years in the mid 1970s, the Vancouver, BC telephone book had a listing for a Rection, Hugh G. Undoubtedly a joke, but there it was. Harry Boyle, d. 2005, was a Canadian broadcaster and writer. I believe it was Groucho Marx who noted that “Peter O’Toole” was a double phallic name. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unfortunate-names-of-real-people/577705.md?page=13) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unfortunate-names-of-real-people/577705.md?page=15)