# Unfortunate names of real people **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 8, 2011, 7:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unfortunate-names-of-real-people/577705 "2011-04-08T19:47:23Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 16
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2018, 5:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unfortunate-names-of-real-people/577705/302 "2018-05-02T05:43:48Z")
> [@RTFirefly](#): > > I knew a girl in college whose last name was Slutsky. > [@erysichthon](#): > > Was she from Russia? Slutsky is a fairly common Russian surname. Yes, and you can meet them on certain dating sites as well as through Pornhub. ---
**Author:** ![PatrickLondon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/patricklondon/32/4422_2.png) [@PatrickLondon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PatrickLondon)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2018, 6:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unfortunate-names-of-real-people/577705/303 "2018-05-02T06:45:52Z")
There are a few here: [http://www.anorak.co.uk/252524/strange-but-true/the-best-nominative-determinism-pictures-ever-presented-by-mr-phani-tikkala.html](http://www.anorak.co.uk/252524/strange-but-true/the-best-nominative-determinism-pictures-ever-presented-by-mr-phani-tikkala.html) ---
**Author:** ![FoieGrasIsEvil](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/foiegrasisevil/32/16638_2.png) [@FoieGrasIsEvil](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FoieGrasIsEvil)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2018, 1:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unfortunate-names-of-real-people/577705/304 "2018-05-02T13:31:03Z")
When I used to manage a country club bar back in the day, one of our member’s names was Berning. You guessed it, first name Richard…but he went by Dick. ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2018, 1:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unfortunate-names-of-real-people/577705/305 "2018-05-02T13:44:14Z")
> [@FoieGrasIsEvil](#): > > When I used to manage a country club bar back in the day, one of our member’s names was Berning. You guessed it, first name Richard…but he went by Dick. They shoulda played [this song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RF0HhrwIwp0) when he entered the room. ---
**Author:** ![BwanaBob](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bwanabob/32/2985_2.png) [@BwanaBob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BwanaBob)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2018, 4:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unfortunate-names-of-real-people/577705/306 "2018-05-02T16:47:40Z")
> [@RTFirefly](#): > > I knew a girl in college whose last name was Slutsky. Was she from Long Island? There was a boy in my grade with that last name and he had a sister whose name started with “m”. ---
**Author:** ![FoieGrasIsEvil](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/foiegrasisevil/32/16638_2.png) [@FoieGrasIsEvil](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FoieGrasIsEvil)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2018, 5:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unfortunate-names-of-real-people/577705/307 "2018-05-02T17:19:50Z")
> [@RTFirefly](#): > > They shoulda played [this song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RF0HhrwIwp0) when he entered the room. LOL. That would have been great. Could have been his grand entrance song, like when a prizefighter enters the ring. What’s funnier still was that Dick would always sidle up to the bar after dinner with his family to have a cigar and an apertif, usually a tawny port or some Gran Marnier. Just for him, the next time he came into the bar, I unveiled a bottle of 20 year old tawny port I’d ordered just for him…yup, you guessed it: Cockburn’s 20 Year Old Tawny. It was a source of immature laughs amongst the bar patrons thereafter as it became a “tradition” for one of the regulars to buy Dick Berning his after dinner Cockburn. ---
**Author:** ![Leo\_Bloom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leo_bloom/32/10377_2.png) [@Leo\_Bloom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leo_Bloom)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2018, 1:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unfortunate-names-of-real-people/577705/308 "2018-05-05T13:30:52Z")
> [@stillownedbysetters](#): > > … > > My elementary gym teacher was Lucy Ramsbottom. > > … _Ulysses_, Molly Bloom thinking OP thought: …my name Bloom when I used to write it in print to see how it looked on a visiting card or practising for the butcher and oblige M Bloom youre looking blooming Josie used to say after I married him well its better than Breen or Briggs does brig or those awful names with bottom in them Mrs Ramsbottom or some other kind of a bottom… ---
**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2018, 1:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unfortunate-names-of-real-people/577705/309 "2018-05-06T13:58:13Z")
When I was the secretary, for one year, of my Reserve unit I came across the name of a woman whose father had obviously wanted here to be a boy. She was Floydene Earlene Surname. What a cruel thing to do. ---
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2018, 2:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unfortunate-names-of-real-people/577705/310 "2018-05-06T14:14:39Z")
Cruel? Really? A huge proportion of feminine names in the Anglo-American tradition are just feminized versions of masculine names. Joan, Andrea, Thomasina, Wilhelmina, Caroline/Charlene, Christine, Claudia, Stephanie, Danielle, Michelle, Julia, Alexandra, Anastasia, Victoria, Adrienne, Antonia, Patricia, Paula, … Many now-feminine names are simply co-opted masculine names — Francis, Leslie, Kelly, Tracy, Lindsay, Hillary, Vivian, Lynn, Valery, … And I’ve met more than a few African-American women whose names are novel feminized versions of their fathers’ names, … So I don’t think there’s anything particularly cruel about this. Maybe Floydene will catch on, maybe it won’t. ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2018, 8:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unfortunate-names-of-real-people/577705/311 "2018-05-06T20:43:38Z")
> [@Acsenray](#): > > Cruel? Really? A huge proportion of feminine names in the Anglo-American tradition are just feminized versions of masculine names. > > Joan, Andrea, Thomasina, Wilhelmina, Caroline/Charlene, Christine, Claudia, Stephanie, Danielle, Michelle, Julia, Alexandra, Anastasia, Victoria, Adrienne, Antonia, Patricia, Paula, … > > Many now-feminine names are simply co-opted masculine names — Francis, Leslie, Kelly, Tracy, Lindsay, Hillary, Vivian, Lynn, Valery, … > > And I’ve met more than a few African-American women whose names are novel feminized versions of their fathers’ names, … > > So I don’t think there’s anything particularly cruel about this. Maybe Floydene will catch on, maybe it won’t. I don’t find Floydene or Earlene anywhere near that ballpark. ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2018, 8:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unfortunate-names-of-real-people/577705/312 "2018-05-06T20:47:27Z")
> [@Baker](#): > > When I was the secretary, for one year, of my Reserve unit I came across the name of a woman whose father had obviously wanted here to be a boy. She was Floydene Earlene Surname. What a cruel thing to do. Good GOD is that cruel. My family had a historical pattern where a newborn male would get his paternal grandfather’s name as his middle name. My grandfather’s name was Floyd. My parents broke the pattern. ---
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2018, 8:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unfortunate-names-of-real-people/577705/313 "2018-05-06T20:50:18Z")
> [@Siam\_Sam](#): > > I don’t find Floydene or Earlene anywhere near that ballpark. That kind of arbitrary conclusion is not really persuasive evidence of cruelty. ---
**Author:** ![Bibliothecarius](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/b2d939/32.png) [@Bibliothecarius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bibliothecarius)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2018, 8:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unfortunate-names-of-real-people/577705/314 "2018-05-07T08:47:42Z")
> [@Martian Bigfoot](#): > > I once had to make a phone call and ask to speak to someone with the unfortunate first name of Supaporn. > > I tried not to laugh, I really did. It didn’t go so well. > > Ms. Supaporn, wherever you are, I apologize. I’ve come across Supaporn too! Unless there’s more than one… I once had the pleasure of speaking to a man named Shiting. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![JKellyMap](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jkellymap/32/15880_2.png) [@JKellyMap](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JKellyMap)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2018, 11:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unfortunate-names-of-real-people/577705/315 "2018-05-07T11:11:55Z")
> [@BwanaBob](#): > > Was she from Long Island? There was a boy in my grade with that last name and he had a sister whose name started with “m”. Our 1970s Unitarian minister was a Slutsky, also in the NY metro area (but not Long Island). My grandmother would say “A nice man, but what an unfortunate name!” First thing I thought of when I read the title of this thread. ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2018, 4:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unfortunate-names-of-real-people/577705/316 "2018-05-07T16:07:36Z")
> [@BwanaBob](#): > > Was she from Long Island? There was a boy in my grade with that last name and he had a sister whose name started with “m”. I’m not sure I knew even then - I occasionally hung around with a group that she was part of, but didn’t know her that well. ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2018, 5:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unfortunate-names-of-real-people/577705/317 "2018-05-08T05:24:47Z")
> [@Bibliothecarius](#): > > I’ve come across Supaporn too! Unless there’s more than one… There are tons, it being a common name for Thai ladies. Alas! I is not pronounced anything like what you would think: “Soo-pah-pawn.” ---
**Author:** ![LH75](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lh75/32/4438_2.png) [@LH75](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LH75)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2018, 12:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unfortunate-names-of-real-people/577705/318 "2018-05-08T12:35:11Z")
While testing the fie alarm in an elementary school, I walked past a classroom. On the door was the teacher’s name: Miss Assmann ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2018, 1:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unfortunate-names-of-real-people/577705/319 "2018-05-08T13:59:38Z")
Dick Assman passed away a couple of years ago. [![](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/Rz-h16TwRDo/hqdefault.jpg "Late Show w/David Letterman - Dick Assman Part 1") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rz-h16TwRDo) [![](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/Y39l6V3b_LY/hqdefault.jpg "Late Show w/David Letterman - Dick Assman Part 2") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y39l6V3b_LY) ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2018, 2:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unfortunate-names-of-real-people/577705/320 "2018-05-08T14:06:38Z")
Missed edit [![](https://img.youtube.com/vi/W0ATPKgadF4/maxresdefault.jpg "Dick Assman | How Letterman Made Him Famous | CBC Archives") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W0ATPKgadF4) ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2018, 1:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unfortunate-names-of-real-people/577705/321 "2018-05-13T01:29:31Z")
Not unfortunate, but the name fits the job: the sheriff of Washington County, Oregon is named Pat Garrett. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unfortunate-names-of-real-people/577705.md?page=15) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unfortunate-names-of-real-people/577705.md?page=17)