# Unfortunate names **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 18, 2001, 3:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unfortunate-names/88141 "2001-10-18T03:08:52Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 12\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![kung\_fu\_lola](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/f4b2a3/32.png) [@kung\_fu\_lola](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kung_fu_lola)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2001, 2:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unfortunate-names/88141/41 "2001-10-22T02:28:56Z")
There is a freelance journalist (who often contributes to the Toronto Star) whose name is Heather Royce-Rolls. Obvious why she didn’t hyphenate the other way around. ---
**Author:** ![Kipper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Kipper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kipper)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2001, 5:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unfortunate-names/88141/42 "2001-10-22T05:47:21Z")
My ex-wife’s bank manager was Norman Norman. I mean what the f\*\*k made you name your kid that. ---
**Author:** ![broys](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/5e9695/32.png) [@broys](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/broys)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2001, 6:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unfortunate-names/88141/43 "2001-10-22T06:46:51Z")
For an accounting class in college, I once had a professor with the name Jack Kockentiet. I’m not lying. The first day he just said his name and said that most people call him “Hey you” or just Jack. ---
**Author:** ![Kamikazee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Kamikazee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kamikazee)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2001, 12:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unfortunate-names/88141/44 "2001-10-22T12:55:58Z")
Urologist in Toledo by the name of Dr. Dick Tapper Also have a business card for Richard (Dick) Stiff ---
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2001, 1:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unfortunate-names/88141/45 "2001-10-22T13:22:49Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Halfpint \* > \*\*All this talk of unfortunate names reminds me of my _favourite_ (I’m lying) member of staff in my previous job … Ivor Dick Blewitt. > > And I once knew a boy called Matthew Matthews. I really want to know what on earth the parents were thinking of. \*\* I went to school with an Evan Evans. (Not the famous musician.) I also went to school with Fok-Yan Cheung. Yes, it was pronounced “fuck-yan.” In a horrible twist that only goes to prove God is cruel, Fok-Yan also had the profane-yelling version of Tourette’s, so he’d grunt “fuck!” “shit!” all the time. Nice guy tho. (Evan Evans was an asshole.) ---
**Author:** ![Belegur](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/65b543/32.png) [@Belegur](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Belegur)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2001, 3:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unfortunate-names/88141/46 "2001-10-22T15:15:41Z")
I went to high school with a girl named Tigrr Whowell, pronounced Tiger Wool. Tigrr had a brother named Steele. At the county club that I work at there’s a couple named Richard and Fuzzy Hole. Everyone calls him Dick. Last but not least, my friend Todd Wood had a son and named him Harrison. Eventually, he’ll have the misfortune of being called Harry Wood. ---
**Author:** ![Pablito](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ed655f/32.png) [@Pablito](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pablito)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2001, 3:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unfortunate-names/88141/47 "2001-10-22T15:57:15Z")
I went to college with Roderick Long. He goes by Eric, but sometimes signs his name Rod Long. Also went to high school with the palindromic “Marc Cram”. Former Governor of Texas, James Hogg, supposedly had daughters named “Ima” and “Ura.” I’ve heard that one many times, always told as true, but never heard it verified by an authoritative source. Also unverified: two daughters of an indigent woman named “Siphyllis” and “Goneril”, because the names sounded “pretty”. ---
**Author:** ![kabbes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e99b99/32.png) [@kabbes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kabbes)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2001, 4:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unfortunate-names/88141/48 "2001-10-22T16:05:57Z")
From the indefatigable Moose Mansions: The “current” (though sadly long-since updated) page: [Mirthogenic Appellations](http://www.splange.freeserve.co.uk/), about a quarter of the way down; and the archive: [Implausible names we have loved](http://www.splange.freeserve.co.uk/names.html) Despite all the “cleverer” ones, somehow it is **Nimrod Ping** that mosts tickles my whistle. pan ---
**Author:** ![Knighted\_Vorpal\_Sword](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ac91a4/32.png) [@Knighted\_Vorpal\_Sword](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knighted_Vorpal_Sword)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2001, 4:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unfortunate-names/88141/49 "2001-10-22T16:12:46Z")
When I was a teenager, there was a dentist who was a member of my synagogue . . . and his first name was **Hertz**. I guess that’s why everyone called him Buddy instead. ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Bean](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_bean/32/1760_2.png) [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2001, 4:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unfortunate-names/88141/50 "2001-10-22T16:15:16Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by Pablito \* > \*\* > Former Governor of Texas, James Hogg, supposedly had daughters named “Ima” and “Ura.” I’ve heard that one many times, always told as true, but never heard it verified by an authoritative source._\* Pablito, meet Snopes. Snopes, this is Pablito. > **[Snopes.com](https://www.snopes.com)** > > The definitive Internet reference source for urban legends, folklore, myths, rumors, and misinformation. ---
**Author:** ![Chef\_Troy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/85f322/32.png) [@Chef\_Troy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chef_Troy)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2001, 4:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unfortunate-names/88141/51 "2001-10-22T16:32:41Z")
Back when I was in college, there was an asian gentleman listed in the phone book that won me some bar bets. his name? Twat Hung Lo. Mrs Chef was bored at work one day in the customer service department at Neiman’s and started looking up people’s accounts at random. She found someone named Mossy Bush. Also, I know a psychiatrist named Dr. Couch. ---
**Author:** ![Gala\_Matrix\_Fire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/4da419/32.png) [@Gala\_Matrix\_Fire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gala_Matrix_Fire)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2001, 8:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unfortunate-names/88141/52 "2001-10-22T20:35:17Z")
I couldn’t decide which of the current name threads this should go in, and since this one is the shortest, here it is: A married couple I was acquainted with was due to have a baby. I ran into a friend of mine who I’d met when she was an exchange student from Taiwan. Okay, so she was a non-native speaker of English, got that? I asked her about the couple and whether they’d had their baby. She said yes, it was a girl, and they named her ‘Malady.’ In real life, they had named her ‘Melody.’ But I love the idea of naming someone Malady. I think I’ll write a novel about it. So nobody take my idea!! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unfortunate-names/88141.md?page=2)