That had to be an subconscious slip on your part!
Hilarious rant.
And as a former waitress, I agree with the other posters here, what she needed was mere 2 penny tip (from what I’ve heard harkens back to the days of old and is supposed to equal "you’re not worth 2cents) and a word with the manager.
In fact, if it hasn’t been too long, I’d talk to him now if I were you.
What a little bitch!
Alright, so today since I was running errands in the area anyways, I decide to stop in at everyone’s favorite restaurant, Olive Garden, to have a word or ten with the manager. Now, some restaurants are like a living stereotype. For example, the Chinese take-out a few blocks down from my house doesn’t have a single non-Asian employee and talk like they just came out of the rice fields. I suspect they do this to laugh at us behind our round-eyed backs. But I digress. Olive Garden, contrary to expectations, isn’t staffed with ‘Italians’ per se, unless by ‘Italian’ you mean ‘yuppies’. So you can imagine my surprise when the manager come up front looking like Vinnie’s pissed off larger cousin. I suddenly became very concerned for the structural integrity of my kneecaps. The man even had a facial scar from his cheek to his upper lip. I kept waiting for Marlon Brando to make me an offer I couldn’t refuse. Thankfully, (for my sake), appearances were deceiving and he was very cordial, no doubt because people go out of their way not to make him angry. I explained the pervious night’s incident calmly and he was actually very sympathetic and helpful. I’m even glad I paid with my credit card, and the receipt I brought back with me had the waitress’ name on it. Finally, my Discover card helped me to get a sort of ‘cash back’. (Hmmm, that might be an interesting idea.) He had me sit down, went to get a gift certificate, even offered me a drink. I say without sarcasm that he was a swell guy. ‘Course, I would have been happy if he’d simply refrained from putting my head through a wall. I was then thanked for bringing it to his attention and he promised to deal with the problem. If a waitress’ body turns up somewhere (or several somewheres) in Chicagoland, I don’t know nothin’. I’m now the proud owner of a $30 Olive Garden gift certificate. I think I’ll blow it all on breadsticks.
BraheSilver, allow to try to clarify myself. In the little novel of the check, there is a pouch at the top that says put your card here. What my friend was saying was that often people would just lay their card in the book, but not in the pouch. Thus, when the waiter would go to pick up the book, the card would slide out onto the table or floor. Our waitress agreed with such vigor that I believe she felt it a capital offense.
P.S., Please try to excuse my typos. If it weren’t for spell checker, I’d entirely unintentionally be typing in a pig latin proto-133t speak. :o
Your rant was a thing of beauty. With a little work, you could get a regular slot around here! Your own forum! Your name in lights! I’ll give it a solid 9.95.
My husband and I lunched at Ruby Tuesday once. The place was relatively empty and the bar maid had a couple of her loser friends sitting at the bar. We were talking and laughing and drinking (probably a bit too much). The barmaid’s friends started making fun of my husband (who has a rather unconventional look) and the waitress was playing right into it. She was ignoring our requests, pointing and laughing, and all manner of rude behavior.
When it was time to leave, we left her EXACTLY the total on our bill. Not a penny more. She actually CHASED US OUT INTO THE MALL demanding to know why we stiffed her and didn’t she give us good service. I told her it wouldn’t have been good if she included a blow job with every drink.
This happened years ago, and I don’t believe we’ve been back since. Stupid girl.
See, there’s your mistake right there. OG is the bottom of the barrel as far as chain restaurants go – even with the admittedly good breadsticks.
I like Olive Garden. Recently, though, the wife and I had a rough experience there. We were taking her parents out for dinner, and got stuck in the waiting area. Forty-five minutes went by, and several groups were seated before us. Finally we left.
My wife wrote to Olive Garden on their Web site and expressed her frustration. Olive Garden responded by sending her $40 worth of coupons.
Definitely complain to Corporate about your experience.
And I see I’m exactly six minutes too late with my advice. Never mind.
Good for you for complaining.
I’m not sure what score to give you because while I disdain typos, yours could have all been made on purpose - they all make perfect sense within the post!
I reckon I’ll go for an 8.75.
Was that about the waitress, or something else? 
Well shit. Y’see? I have the typing capacity of a two year-old, half-blind, one-handed, red-assed baboon. (Note: The preceding in no way is meant to imply offence to any baboons, real or imaginary, by comparing them to myself.)
… … … Excuse me, I’m just going to go out back now and shoot myself. :mad:
This is the key. If it weren’t for the proximity of the swinging kitchen doors to my bar, I’d have lost my job a long time ago. There’s something soul-cleansing about busting through the kitchen doors, a la John Wayne, and giving everyone in earshot a piece of your mind, at the top of your lungs.
This is what enables you to remain calm and serene at your tables, even last-minute tables no one else will pick up and your manager forces you to take.
I’d like to note that I’ve never eaten at an Olive Garden, for the precise reasons others have noted already; it is truly one of the worst examples of corporate insanity. Just about everyone I know has worked at an Olive Garden, and none of them lasted very long; they all have scars.
Excellent rant, btw. I think I’ve worked with that girl.
And therein lies your problem. Travel a bit further west and hit the one by Woodfield if you simply must have OG. It’s been redesigned and the people kiss serious ass the entire time you’re there. The only problem is that it may be crowded.
Actually, come to think of it, EVERY time I’ve eaten at Olive Garden, I’ve become violently ill within 45 min of leaving the place.
I wonder if they use peanut oil in anything, cus that would do it.
BWAAAHAAAA
Thank you for the perfectly described visual.
On a side note, occasionally nefarious waitstaff will pad charge cards for an extra tip. Be sure to keep a close eye on the bill when it arrives.
Well, that’s getting a little out of my way (if I’m thinking of the same place. I know my location says Chicago, but geographically round off because no one knows where Joliet is.
On a side note, has anyone been on the other side of this? Do managers pull aside waiters to talk about complaints from customers? I’m just curious was type of ramifications might occur.
Weird.
I’ve never had a bad Olive Garden experience. Well, once there was a big table full of annoying kids, but I’ve never had any problem with the staff. Pretty tasty food, too. Especially the breadsticks.
Which is only because Maggiano’s even more crowded. And while I’ve only had lunch at Maggiano’s, I gotta say, it ain’t worth it either. Go further west to Arlington Heights and try Francesca’s Tavallo.
Oh, I wasn’t confused. I was just wondering if your friend had moonlighted as an assistant for Conan the Barbarian for a while. 
Kidding aside, I’m glad you got this settled somewhat with the manager.
I like Maggiano’s…if I do the appetizer festival in the bar. That way, I can smoke, drink, eat, and be merry!
I dunno. My manager pulled me aside on more than one occasion to tell me a table had complemented me, or said I was the best server they ever had (really) or whatever, but I never had anyone complain to my manager.
That’s not to say that people were never dissatisfied with things, but generally I could handle them myself - I was a shift supervisor so I was allowed to give freebees and stuff.
I will say that I certainly never treated customers like the ho-bag in the OP, so I guess that’s why noone ever took it upon themselves to complain to the boss.