# Unhelpful responses **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 16, 2018, 9:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unhelpful-responses/824646 "2018-11-16T21:30:39Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Thudlow\_Boink](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thudlow_boink/32/320_2.png) [@Thudlow\_Boink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thudlow_Boink)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2018, 4:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unhelpful-responses/824646/41 "2018-11-20T16:45:32Z")
> [@Dangerosa](#): > > This sort of thing shows an amazing lack of knowledge about History. Was their stigma…sure. But there were also ways to get around that stigma. My point wasn’t that there weren’t women who had children without being married. My point was that it was common to assume that a woman who wasn’t married would therefore not have any children. ---
**Author:** ![Satchmo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/satchmo/32/4223_2.png) [@Satchmo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Satchmo)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2018, 4:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unhelpful-responses/824646/42 "2018-11-20T16:47:46Z")
I get aggravated when I ask someone that’s come to me for help a yes or no type question and they launch into a 3 minute report starting with what they had for breakfast but I’m eventually able to figure out the answer even though they never come out and say either yes or no. I usually then say "So the answer to my question was ‘no.’ I don’t believe this will ever change anyone for the better, but it makes me feel a little better at the time. ---
**Author:** ![Velocity](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/velocity/32/18006_2.png) [@Velocity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Velocity)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2018, 4:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unhelpful-responses/824646/43 "2018-11-20T16:59:51Z")
> [@Flyer](#): > > You’re evidently not a Christian. > > Corrie Ten Boom was a Christian. Since she wasn’t married, it’s axiomatic that she didn’t have children. > > I’ve occasionally answered that question in the exact same way. The Nazi guard wouldn’t have been able to know if ten Boom was a Christian or not, and even if she were, marriage is not biologically necessary for kids. So the Nazi guard was of course annoyed. ---
**Author:** ![Sailboat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sailboat/32/461_2.png) [@Sailboat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sailboat)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2018, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unhelpful-responses/824646/44 "2018-11-20T17:58:53Z")
> [@DummyGladHands](#): > > Me: do you have the scissors (or whatever) ? > > Him: what for? Meh. After two separate incidents in which someone borrowed my work scissors and used them to cut electrical and computer cables, chewing up the edge on the scissors and ruining them, I now ask “what for?” _every single time_. ---
**Author:** ![Sailboat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sailboat/32/461_2.png) [@Sailboat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sailboat)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2018, 6:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unhelpful-responses/824646/45 "2018-11-20T18:04:03Z")
I recently e-mailed a merchant and asked if there were products in any of their multiple product lines comparable/compatible to those in Brand A, because I’ve been looking for compatible products for a long time. Also, while we’re at it, do they have item X in stock? Reply: Sorry, we are out of item X. ---
**Author:** ![Pantastic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3bc359/32.png) [@Pantastic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pantastic)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2018, 7:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unhelpful-responses/824646/46 "2018-11-20T19:49:30Z")
> [@DummyGladHands](#): > > Me: do you have the scissors (or whatever) ? > > Him: what for? Are there more than one kind of scissors around? I’ll ask that kind of question if I don’t know whether they might be looking for the paper scissors, sewing scissors, kitchen scissors, tin snips, crappy scissors that you can use for cutting gross stuff. Some people aren’t good at distinguishing specifically what they’re looking for. ---
**Author:** ![pohjonen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pohjonen/32/423_2.png) [@pohjonen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pohjonen)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2018, 8:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unhelpful-responses/824646/47 "2018-11-20T20:18:38Z")
Here is my very favorite question and answer on all of Amazon: Can I perform a routine colonoscopy on myself w/this endoscope and an iPhone? Seller Answer: Hello, thanks for your question. This endoscope can not support to iPhone, it can only support to Android device. Thanks! ---
**Author:** ![Slash1972](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slash1972/32/6461_2.png) [@Slash1972](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slash1972)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2018, 8:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unhelpful-responses/824646/48 "2018-11-20T20:28:03Z")
LOL, that’s brilliant! ---
**Author:** ![OldGuy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/3bc359/32.png) [@OldGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OldGuy)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2018, 8:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unhelpful-responses/824646/49 "2018-11-20T20:31:33Z")
> [@DummyGladHands](#): > > Me: do you have the scissors (or whatever) ? > > Him: what for? Perfectly reasonable. I’m not going to give you my nail scissors if you want to cut cardboard. ---
**Author:** ![Slash1972](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slash1972/32/6461_2.png) [@Slash1972](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slash1972)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2018, 8:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unhelpful-responses/824646/50 "2018-11-20T20:37:53Z")
Wouldn’t a better question be “What kind of scissors do you want?” ---
**Author:** ![ftg](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ftg/32/2801_2.png) [@ftg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ftg)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2018, 9:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unhelpful-responses/824646/51 "2018-11-20T21:38:39Z")
> [@Thudlow\_Boink](#): > > Sure, _nowadays_. Generations ago, though, there was an enormous stigma against being an unwed mother. People really underestimate the numbers of these sorts of things going back hundreds of years. I’ve look at raw census/parish records back in The Old Country and the percentage of unmarried “girls” with a child are quite high. Esp. if there’s a military site nearby. These things happened, people went on with their lives. The women lived in extended families. The kid was just another kid in the family. It wasn’t like people weren’t people back then. _The Scarlet Letter_ is a novel. ---
**Author:** ![purplehorseshoe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/purplehorseshoe/32/2996_2.png) [@purplehorseshoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purplehorseshoe)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2018, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unhelpful-responses/824646/52 "2018-11-21T18:21:18Z")
I was at a big-box hardware store looking for a spool of steel wire. Asked 3 different employees where I’d find it - or if they even carry it - and each replied with “What do you need it for?” Debated telling 'em it was to finish strangling the near-dead hooker in my trunk … ---
**Author:** ![AskNott](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asknott/32/5790_2.png) [@AskNott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AskNott)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2018, 11:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unhelpful-responses/824646/53 "2018-11-21T23:56:22Z")
Some years back, I asked a box-office woman if I could get two tickets for _The Swimmer._ She said, “Oh, you don’t want to see that. It’s terrible!” On one hand, she didn’t help me get tickets. On the other hand, she helped to send me away to find some other place to enjoy my evening. ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2018, 2:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unhelpful-responses/824646/54 "2018-11-22T02:58:00Z")
> [@Flyer](#): > > Corrie Ten Boom was a Christian. Since she wasn’t married, it’s axiomatic that she didn’t have children. Or, maybe she tried to give an evasive answer because SHE WAS BEING QUESTIONED BY A NAZI. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2018, 6:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unhelpful-responses/824646/55 "2018-11-22T06:06:43Z")
> [@Slash1972](#): > > Wouldn’t a better question be “What kind of scissors do you want?” “Ones the belong to somebody else.” ---
**Author:** ![excavating\_for\_a\_mind](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/e8c25b/32.png) [@excavating\_for\_a\_mind](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/excavating_for_a_mind)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2018, 3:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unhelpful-responses/824646/56 "2018-11-23T15:11:45Z")
> [@purplehorseshoe](#): > > I was at a big-box hardware store looking for a spool of steel wire. Asked 3 different employees where I’d find it - or if they even carry it - and each replied with “What do you need it for?” > > Debated telling 'em it was to finish strangling the near-dead hooker in my trunk … One thing that I’ve learned from dealing with the general public in retail is many, many people either do not know what they want or how to ask for it. Usually, you can provide much better help faster by finding out what they are trying to do. In other words, most people have a better understanding of what they want to do than how to do it. In your example, did you want single strand or braided? Plastic coated, galvanized, or bare? What gauge? Maybe you want welding wire. Flux-core or Solid? Or, perhaps you need the kind of steel wire that is made out of copper (don’t be surprised, I’d bet that they have had customers who needed just that). By finding out what you want it for, they can take you to where they keep that type of wire. ---
**Author:** ![Slash1972](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slash1972/32/6461_2.png) [@Slash1972](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slash1972)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2018, 3:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unhelpful-responses/824646/57 "2018-11-23T15:20:41Z")
> [@Little\_Nemo](#): > > “Ones the belong to somebody else.” “I don’t have any that belong to somebody else. I only have ones that belong to me.” 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2018, 3:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unhelpful-responses/824646/58 "2018-11-23T15:48:55Z")
> [@HMS\_Irruncible](#): > > Asking a question on StackOverflow (a programming q/a forum): > > Q: Can I use software library ‘doohickey’ to implement partially sharded thingamabobs? > > A: Why do you need partially sharded thingamabobs? > > JFC I need it because I need it. I’m working with constraints not under my control, the backstory is long and boring, this approach is my workaround. Answer the question or don’t. I reckon probably more than half the time a Q/A conversation goes like this it’s because the person responding knows the person asking the question is heading for trouble further down the line, and knows that the best place to head it off is right here. I work in an IT support role and I see this a lot - the phenomenon even has a name: > **[XY problem](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/XY_problem)** > > The XY problem is a communication problem encountered in help desk, technical support, software engineering, or customer service situations where the question is about an end user's attempted solution (X) rather than the root problem itself (Y or Why?). > The XY problem obscures the real issues and may even introduce secondary problems that lead to miscommunication, resource mismanagement, and sub-par solutions. The solution for the support personnel is to ask probing questions as to why the infor... ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2018, 3:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unhelpful-responses/824646/59 "2018-11-23T15:52:01Z")
> [@purplehorseshoe](#): > > I was at a big-box hardware store looking for a spool of steel wire. Asked 3 different employees where I’d find it - or if they even carry it - and each replied with “What do you need it for?” Is it possible that they knew of more than one kind of steel wire, and needed to know the application in order to sell you the right kind? ---
**Author:** ![Nawth\_Chucka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/c57346/32.png) [@Nawth\_Chucka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nawth_Chucka)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2018, 8:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unhelpful-responses/824646/60 "2018-11-23T20:08:44Z")
> [@excavating\_for\_a\_mind](#): > > One thing that I’ve learned from dealing with the general public in retail is many, many people either do not know what they want or how to ask for it. Usually, you can provide much better help faster by finding out what they are trying to do. In other words, most people have a better understanding of what they want to do than how to do it. > > In your example, did you want single strand or braided? Plastic coated, galvanized, or bare? What gauge? Maybe you want welding wire. Flux-core or Solid? Or, perhaps you need the kind of steel wire that is made out of copper (don’t be surprised, I’d bet that they have had customers who needed just that). By finding out what you want it for, they can take you to where they keep that type of wire. Best of both worlds - ‘We might; what are you using it for?’ keeps them engaged while it gives you a chance to narrow down what they’re asking for. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unhelpful-responses/824646.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/unhelpful-responses/824646.md?page=4)